A La Carte (1/12)

I know I’m weighing in late regarding the Why I Don’t Homescool (is it a compound word or not…I’m never sure) My Children, but I simply can’t go to sleep tonight until I say “Thank you.” The weight (there’s that word again) that I have carried for so long in that regard seems to have lifted from my shoulders a bit. It is a rare thing to find a Christian who admits to choosing not to homeschool their children.

I want to (briefly) tell you my story just so you appreciate most fully my gratefulness. I have six children (I wasn’t trying to fit the homeschool mold, but, hey, we would have made a nice cover for the leading homeschool magazine) ages (now) 18, 16, 6, 5, 3, 2. I homeschooled the oldest two for ten years through some brutual life circumstances which included, but was nowhere limited to, my sixteen year old being autistic. I did it because I felt there was no option if one wanted to be a good Christian parent. I went through the jean jumper, bake all your own bread (no bread makers here!), make all your own clothes stage. We didn’t do Halloween, or Santa Claus, and God forbid, I never let my oldest daughter near a Barbie. In trying to keep this short…eventually the oldest two went to publis school. My daughter wanted to try it and, because she had lacked such confidence socially, I thought it was important to support her in this desire. In regard to my son, I just couldn’t continue trying to educate him at home given his special needs. Autism is largely a social disorder and he needed things that I couldn’t (try as hard as I might) give him. Besides, by this time I had three children all under three years old! When it came time to make a decision as to rather or not we would homeschool our “second batch” I didn’t really feel like I had a choice. I began homeschooling our kindergartener, but soon found myself incapable. Life circumstances had not improved, I had had a fourth baby by this time, and ended up clnically depressed. I have had the hardest time giving up the dream (funny, but it may not have ever been my dream) of homeschooling and felt as if I were sacrificing my child to the wolves (despite the fact that we live in a very Christian community with great public schools). You can’t believe how many people over the years when they found out I homeschooled and/or homeschooled with six children would literally almost worship me. What does one say to “I don’t know how you do it” besides trying to explain that really, really, I don’t. How I would love to say “You know what, I’m on Zoloft now, thank you very much and can’t homeschool at all!” Your article has helped a bit in my accepting, dare I say embracing, the fact that I am an ex-homeschooler. I’ll just have to trust that my children turn out alright.