I am an advocate for early marriage (but with major qualifiers), but honestly I found the Lewis article to be one of the most shortsighted I have ever read.

The way our economy works in the West demands a college degree of nearly everyone. In fact, in recent years, the shift has been the new assumption that a person will also have a postgraduate degree. That reality dashes early marriage in almost all cases.

One cannot compare statistics today against the ’50s through the ’70s because it was still possible to get a decent job with just a high school degree then. Today, that’s nearly impossible. There simply are not enough jobs (or companies) that are that lenient.

Worse for those who advocate the standards of the Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, an early marriage increases the chances that the woman will outpace the man in income if both have a lesser education, plus it will keep the woman in a job role even after she has children.

Until Christians find a way around this economic reality, all our talk of early marriage will be infeasible for the majority of households. Because our Christian community does not rally around young couples by providing the financial support they need, those young marriages will be more likely to fail. Contrast this with cultures like the Amish who see the failure of one household as an indictment against the entire community.

In addition, the societal pressures against young marriage are more likely to result in one partner straying by the time the children are ready to move on. In the last three years, nearly every divorce among people I know was in couples who married young and were looking at being empty nesters by age 40. While the article mentions this, it does not give this issue enough consideration. We do not live in the ’50s anymore, and our sex-soaked society tears harder at fidelity.

Unless we find thoughtful and practical ways to combat both these issues in the faith community, advocating for early marriage is nothing more than unrealistic talk.

“Evangelical Christians, as you note, send mixed signals to their young: Wait till you’re fully ready to marry, but don’t have sex till you’re married.”

This nails it. This message will go forward unheeded, because college and career rule over marriage, even for women. Many Christians think a woman must get a college degree in today’s world to be successful, even if it means heavy debt, and start a successful career before marrying. Then she has children and wants to stay home to be a mother, only to realize the loan payments, two car payments, and huge mortgage won’t allow that.

Your Monergism ebooks link is incorrect.

@ Michael #6 - More and more companies are hiring women over men. A man without a college degree faces a much more difficult hiring market than a woman.

The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood teaches that it is irresponsible of men if they fail to be the breadwinner. Increasingly, though, economic conditions and changes in hiring practices are making it so that the salaries of men with a lesser education are falling behind those of women. Many households are finding that mom can make much more money than dad, or that dad’s work is more volatile and therefore subject to more layoffs and of a lengthier period. Unable to sustain the breadwinner role, these men are made to feel like second-class citizens within the Body of Christ by those who hold the line on council teachings.

Even men who do have the education are struggling. I know men who have been out of their career work for three years or more. They are in their 40s and finding it nearly impossible to adapt to changing job markets and change careers at this time in their lives. Plus, employers are more likely to pass over such men because they require more expensive health care packages than younger, single men. This is a terrible, adversarial economy and may only get worse. We have to be able to afford some grace to men through this and take a step back from how hard we hammer them with “what they should be doing.” Massive guilt does not help men find decent work.

I’ve spoken to representatives from the council about this in the past, and they had no answers. This is disappointing given that this is otherwise a fine organization.

Michael,

The question is whether a man provides for his family or not. Providing is definitely in the Scriptures. If a man does everything he can to provide for his family, but he makes less money than his wife does in doing so, is he violating the providing mandate?

Also, it is not representative of the Body of Christ to ask something of someone and then make no effort to help that person reach the goal. To tell men they must be the primary breadwinners and yet to do nothing at all to help them achieve this falls short of what the Kingdom of God is all about. All that does is create millstones, and the Lord is not in the millstone business.

Frankly, any church that fails to make an effort to help men achieve what is being preached within that church runs the risk of hypocrisy. I know too many Christian men who have not received one iota of help from their church after a job loss. If we are not hiring our brothers and sisters in Christ when we can, then we are failing to practice the faith. Again, communities like the Amish understand this, but we suburban Westerners too often treat each household like an island fortress, and this does nothing but fracture our community and make us mostly talk and not enough walk.