Offering Grace
A couple of days ago I posted a short reflection on grace and how foreign a concept this is to sinful humans. I wrote about my son and how, at a time he had received a gift he valued a great deal, he attempted to repay this gift with all the money he had (which was, it turns out, only one dollar). His offer was a kind one and even a generous one, but one that showed a misunderstanding and a misappreciation of a gift. Gifts, after all, are not repaid. They are given in grace.
My wife runs a small eBay-based business where she sells storage products (CD racks, DVD towers, and so on) along with fireplaces—electric and gel fuel. The nature of the business is such that all of the these products are drop-shipped and the addition of an extra one or two cogs to the wheel leads to the occasional difficult customer service situation. Yesterday she described to me one of these situations. A woman who had purchased some gel fuel from her had received only a partial order. It was the fault of the company that shipped the product but, of course, since my wife was the one it was purchased from, it was her responsibility to deal with. She did her best to make it right, attempting to get the full order sent right away. But this woman wanted more—she felt that she had been inconvenienced and she demanded compensation for this inconvenience. At first she asked for a discount on her purchase and then upped the ante asking for a whole case of this fuel gel to be added to her order. All of this because she only received a partial order.
I thought about this and wondered if I would do things the same way. If someone inconvenienced me by failing to provide the level of service I expected, would I demand to be compensated? Is it my right to have a perfect shopping experience every time? To be honest, I don’t know. But as I thought about this situation, I thought about grace and realized that just as it is foreign to us to accept grace, it is also foreign to us to extend grace. Why couldn’t this woman have simply extended grace? Was this issue so serious that she could not simply generously extend grace, seeking to build bridges rather than grasping for more? Would I have done any differently? What is it about grace that makes it seem strange to us?
I guess this may be the point of the parable of The Unforgiving Servant (Matthew 18:23-35). Those who have been forgiven are expected to forgive. Those who have been given grace are expected to extend grace.
But do we?
Comments (10) »
1. Phil
December 16, 2007
6:06 PM
Tim, a great illustration of the opportunities we each have every day to extend grace to those around us. And a reminder of how often we fail to do so. Sometimes it seems that we love the concept of grace in the spiritual and personal relationship spheres of our lives, but then leave grace completely out of the picture in the more mundane and ‘secular’ spheres of life. Like dealing with businesses that have not served us well, etc. Thanks for the reminder.
2. Ford
December 16, 2007
7:18 PM
Tim, I agree that we who have been shown grace should extend grace, but it is a rare occasion. That is why when it does happen, it stands out; it is such an unusual event. By nature, we are not graceful creatures. Extending grace is not a natural response for us and thus requires intentionality. The more we practice, the more natural it becomes. To those who haven’t received grace, grace may be seen as weakness when it actually is a sign of strength.
3. Justin Walker
December 16, 2007
8:16 PM
I work in an industry where I deal with customer service situations such as this quite frequently. It truly is a natural inclination to demand what is above and beyond what we deserve. Sadly, I find myself, often reacting in a similar manner to those customers that I have found to be the hardest to appease. The remainder of indwelling sin far too often bears its prideful teeth. When I think of what we, as sinful beings, really deserve I am both humbled and shamed.
“O to grace how great a debtor Daily I’m constrained to be! Let Thy goodness, like a fetter, Bind my wandering heart to Thee. Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love; Here’s my heart, O take and seal it, Seal it for Thy courts above.”
4. John Kuvakas
December 16, 2007
10:59 PM
I believe we don’t express grace because, in our time, we have lost a full understanding of what grace really is. The teaching about grace in the church today tends to emphasize a self-centered grace given to us by a God that loves us so much, He just feels compelled to do something for us. Grace has become a ticket to happiness and contentment.
The lack of the church’s capability to preach a full gospel and to present a fully orbed God, one of love and one of vengeance toward sin, has not only produced a watered down message of salvation, but a diluted perversion of grace as well. If we never confront sin and the need for repentance, then grace becomes license instead of the means by which God snatches us from the fires of hell.
This is why I am blessed by your blog, and others like it, that cling to the truth and an inerrant Scripture that conveys that truth. I agree with some of the emergent church leaders on one point; we need a New Reformation. But my heart cries out for a New Reformation that drives us back to the reverence for God and His Word that fueled the fires of the first Reformation….we need the Old Reformation back!
5. Dennis Eric Ohsan
December 17, 2007
6:11 AM
Hi Tim! This is to show you how ungracious some people, even a Christian like me, can get. When I first read your article, I wanted to rebuke that complaining lady for being difficult. Then it hit me that I didn’t even know her. She’s nothing to me, except the unnamed subject of a blog article. Then it got me thinking that I’m exactly like this woman. Perhaps worse. If I were in her shoes, I am afraid that I might have been more difficult than she is. I agree with Justin. We often think we should get over and beyond what we really deserve.
6. Mrs Lavender
December 17, 2007
8:37 AM
I don’t believe it is in our nature to extend grace or even receive it. I wonder if it is only when we allow God to work in our hearts that we are able to extend and receive grace.
7. poetryman69
December 17, 2007
9:34 PM
cultivate and attitude of gratitude. that can make the going a little easier.
8. Paul
December 19, 2007
10:07 AM
We are doing a sermon series on grace at my church right now, and the “definition” of grace the pastor is using to base his message of grace on is, I think, a good one:
Grace is giving someone else what they deserve the least, yet which they need the most. Just as our Lord has done for us.
I agree with our pastor—it is this grace that is so sadly lacking in many Christian’s lives, in their relationships, in their homes, and in the church… and it should be the hallmark of the Christian life. It is this grace that truly melts away the ice that forms on both the hearts of the unbeliever and believer alike, and that transforms lives. It is completely foreign to the flesh, and it is the denial of the self to focus on the needs of another. But our Lord does not suggest we do this; indeed, He commands it:
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34-35)
9. SolShine7
December 19, 2007
5:40 PM
Good illustration.
10. Walter
December 20, 2007
7:50 AM
I believe one of the reasons it is so hard for us to accept grace is because to accept grace one has to admit one needs grace - and in our culture, who wants to admit weakness?? …. Paul discusses this in Galatians - only someone who will admit they are a radical sinner can accept radical grace in their own lives and in the lives of others. Inability to grasp this is one of the reasons so many Christians get so uptight around other Christians who have sinned and so easily and readily point the finger of blame and shame.