Much has been made in the past few years of mutual submission within marriage. Where traditionally women were encouraged to submit to their husbands, today we are told that the correct Biblical pattern is a mutual submission where the husband and wife submit equally to each other. This teaching seems to contradict the traditional Biblical pattern on male headship. Today I want to take a quick look at mutual submission.
The basis for this teaching is Ephesians 5:21 which reads �…submitting to one another in the fear of God.� Those who hold to this view would say verse 21 provides a cut-and-dry teaching on submission � out of reverence for God every Christian is to submit to every other Christian. Submission, in this view, would mean placing another person�s interests ahead of your own. It is an attitude of love, thoughtfulness and helpfulness that displays that character of Christ. Now certainly those are admirable qualities and ones that no Christian would argue are wrong. However, that is not what Ephesians 5:21 teaches.
To believe in mutual submission there are several interpretive errors you must make.
�One Another� Means �Everyone�
Do the words �submit to one another� mean that every Christian is to submit to every other Christian? Though there are places in Scripture where �one another� is used in that sense, there are other places where it is not. For example, in Galatians 6 we are told to �bear one another�s burdens.� Does this mean that every believer is to bear the burdens of every other believer? Of course not! In Luke 2:15, after seeing the angels singing, shepherds �said to one another �”Let us now go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has come to pass, which the Lord has made known to us.�” This, of course, does not mean that each shepherd spoke to every other shepherd. Clearly �one another� can be used in a non-universal sense.
So while the meaning of the word is not completely transparent, it must be admitted that either interpretation could be correct. We will need to look further to determine what it means.
Context Is King
The belief in mutual submission ignores the context of the passage. The next verses read �Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.� Paul then echoes the call to husbands, but instead of teaching submission teaches love. Where women are to submit, men are told to love. There is no call for men to submit to their wives. The sixth chapter of Ephesians speaks about the relationships of children to parents and slaves to masters. Once again there is a call to submission on one party and of love to the other.
The context of verse 21 does not support the teaching of mutual submission. God is orderly and it is would go against His character to deny the authority structures that He has put in place. Just as He would not expect a king to be in subject to his subjects, so He would not expect a husband to be subject to his wife.
Meaning of Submission
There is little reason to believe that Paul or his audience would have understood the word we translate as �submit� to mean anything less than �subject to.� In Biblical use the word always refers to a relationship where one party has authority over another. Jesus was in authority to his parents, the church is subject to Christ, the laity is to be subject to appointed church officials and so on. There is no basis to believe that anyone would have understood the word �submit� to speak of a mutual relationship.
Extra-Biblically there is also little to support this idea. For example, in the contemporary writings of Josephus the word was used to describe the relationship of soldiers to their superiors.
Conclusion
The Bible does not support the view of mutual submission as taught by so many Christians of our day. The clear teaching of Scripture is the same today as it was to the church at Ephesus and as it was throughout the history of the church. God has placed man in a position of special responsibility and wives are to submit to the headship of their husbands. While this does not negate the requirement that a man love, cherish and respect his wife, even to the point of placing his desires as secondary to her�s, it does not require that he submit to her.
Many books have covered this topic much more eloquently and exhaustively. A good resource is the The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.
Comments (3) »
1. m wiker
July 23, 2006
3:05 PM
all of us need to be like Christ
did he come for Glory? Did He come to rule? Did he come to boss others around?
no, He came with meekness,
He washed the disciples feet
He did not retaliate physically when beaten
He left Himself for dead
He befriended the unpopular the socially inept, and socially unacceptable people of his day.
He didn’t come to rule, He came to save, to serve to help and to heal
This is my model for living I put legalism and 20th century rules and traditions behind me
Remember, the first shall be last and the last shall be first.
We are to desire, no power, no status and no riches
We are not to claim authority over anyone, except for Satan-look at Christ we need to be like Him
What does that mean if you are a Man, husband, boy, woman, wife or daughter
It means we need to be like Christ
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and He will direct your path.
We need to be like the least of these, we need to not seek power and authority, but come as like little children to the throne of God
Men are called to have this:love, joy, peace,patience, kindness,goodness, gentleness,faithfulness and self control.
Yes you heard me, men are called to be gentle, does that sound like they have to go off hunting? Does that sound like they have to take authority? Does that sound like they have to take responsibility for the salvation of their family?
Do you dear person trust in Jesus Christ as your Savior? Do you admit your helplessness to him? Would that mean that you being a man would be weak? Does Christ want us to be weak? When we are weak He is strong. Do men need to go fighting in a war? Or do we trust God and in his power alone? Seems to me like we trust in our authority alone to rule the world, we take matters in our own hands, and we kill. Are we suppose to take the Bible Literally? Yes! Look at the ten commandments Where does it say men and woman do not be mutually submissive? But what about “Thou Shalt not Kill”. Let’s take this literally.
I urge all men everywhere to become humble,loving,gentle, patient,joyful,faithful,kind, self controlled and good servants to all people
But you might say we don’t teach men to be gentle, we teach them to be strong. Woman are to be gentle and kind and patient.
You might say men need to go to war it is our religious freedom. But I say Christ is our freedom. Where are we saving lost souls from hell in other countries? we are just sending them there maybe sooner.
There is no person who has authority in our marriage except for Jesus Christ.
Some might say we can’t agree on issues so someone has to make a decision. Look at two business partners how do they make a decision? Everyday we are put in situations where we have to comprimise and make decisions together with others. We are called to be peacemakers, not troublemakers. Everything we do, we do unto the Lord, and with the Holy Spirit guiding us into all truths. We are filled with the fruit of the Spirit.
I wanted to tell you good news. There is no myth of mutual submission. It really can exist if you want it to. If you don;t like catchy phrases you can leave it at the door and just call it Christ like living.
I am praying more and more fervantly that the curse will be removed from our culture. I pray that all those who believe in the bondage of woman will be freed from their chains and find the loving hope of Christ waiting for them in his arms.
May God bless your life, and may you spend your efforts saving those who are unsaved and on their way to hell, instead of dividing the body of Christ.
2. Lynn
July 23, 2006
3:16 PM
Tim, I’m glad you posted this. I’ve been discussing this subject on a discussion board with a woman who continues to mention Ephesians 5:21. She, and some others on the board, got angry because I spoke the truth, and I didn’t do it in a harsh manner.
There are extremely clear verses regarding the roles of a husband and wife within the family. There are specific verses that tell us that a woman is to submit to her own husband. I asked her to provide me with a verse that specifically says husbands submit to your wives. Of course she couldn’t do that, it isn’t there.
If verse 21 were to be taken as mutual submission in a family, these people would have to say that it means we are to submit to our children also. And, we know that isn’t biblical either.
This is a subject that is much needed in our society. Feminism has crept into the church, and it seems to be prevailing.
When I discuss it with women, the very first thing that comes up is “what if her husband is physically abusing her?” I always ask if her husband is abusing her, because if he isn’t, that is a non issue where she is concerned.
Lynn
3. Lynn
July 23, 2006
3:37 PM
M Wiker said:
“This is my model for living I put legalism and 20th century rules and traditions behind me”
My comment:
There is nothing legalistic, or “20th century rules and traditions” to Scripture. It’s a matter of obedience to the Lord. He has ordained the family to function the way it does because it is a picture of the Church submitting to Christ. And, the Scriptures don’t change.
Eph 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
Eph 5:24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Col 3:18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Tit 2:5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
You said:
“I wanted to tell you good news. There is no myth of mutual submission. It really can exist if you want it to. If you don;t like catchy phrases you can leave it at the door and just call it Christ like living.”
Mutual submission is a myth, because there is no such thing within a family. There is ONE head, and not two. There is ONE leader, not two.
You said:
“I am praying more and more fervantly that the curse will be removed from our culture. I pray that all those who believe in the bondage of woman will be freed from their chains and find the loving hope of Christ waiting for them in his arms.”
My comment:
Obedience to the Lord is not bondage. I am a woman who obeys the Lord by submitting to my husband (though imperfectly). True freedom is found in obedience to the Lord. Woman are not inferior to men, nor are we bound. We are equal in God’s eyes, but we each have a different role, a different function within the family, much like the Godhead. Bondage is doing things your way versus the LORD’s way. There is no peace in going your own way.
Lynn