Last week I posted a couple of articles dealing with auto-eroticism. I believe there was some useful discussion following those and was glad to hear from people who felt that they benefited from them. Since then I have received a couple of questions regarding my views on birth control (from people who, I suppose, feel that I’m sufficiently brave and/or foolhardy to tackle the tough subjects). I thought it might be interesting to discuss that topic as well and will do so in a pair of articles I’ll post today and tomorrow.
The Bible is silent on any explicit discussion of the subject of birth control. Still, Scripture says so much about sexuality and human life that I feel that we can look to God’s Word to guide us towards principles that will prove useful to us as we wrestle with this topic. We will attempt to see what the Bible says about whether or not Christians can use birth control and, if the Bible does permit it, what methods of birth control are acceptable.
When I say that the Bible has no explicit discussion of the subject of birth control I know that some people will raise the story of Onan. Let me say immediately that I feel that the purpose of this story is not to teach that birth control is wrong. The story of Onan, as recounted in Genesis 38, goes like this: “Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord, and the Lord put him to death. Then Judah said to Onan, ‘Go in to your brother’s wife and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother.’ But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his. So whenever he went in to his brother’s wife he would waste the semen on the ground, so as not to give offspring to his brother.” God killed Onan for his disobedience. But God did not kill him because he used coitus interruptus as a method of birth control, but because he refused to fulfill his duty towards his brother and his brother’s family. He made a mockery of the commands of God and did so in outright mockery of the Lord. While this story may not be absolutely irrelevant to our discussion, it is certainly not the place to being a theology of birth control.
So let’s move on. From what the Bible teaches on related topics, we learn that two methods of birth control are clearly forbidden by Scripture:
Abstinence is forbidden - The Bible tells us that spouses are to have sexual relations regularly and are not to deprive each other. The only exception is given by the Apostle Paul who says that we may abstain for a short time in order to devote ourselves to prayer. “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:5). But as a rule, abstinence within marriage is wrong. Abstinence is not to be used as a method of birth control. It seems to be part of God’s plan for sexuality that there is always the possibility that a woman may become pregnant as long as she is physically able to bear children.
Abortion is forbidden - The Bible places great value on human life. Time and again Scripture affirms that we are to treasure and protect life. And hence we cannot destroy life as a method of birth control. I will have more to say about this in our next article.
There are other principles that can guide us as we consider this issue.
Be fruitful and multiply - We were created by God and as one of our primary roles told to “be fruitful and multiply.” It is our duty as humans to procreate and our special duty as Christian parents to attempt to fill the earth with people who know and love the Lord. So God expects and demands that we have at least some children and raise families for His glory.
Children are a blessing - The Bible is clear that we are to regard children as a blessing and not as a burden. Psalm 127 says “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.” Where our culture too often sees children as a financial, emotional and psychological burden, the Bible tells us that they are a blessing and a reward. We should seek to experience this gift and this blessing in our lives.
Many children is a great blessing - God created us and as one of our primary roles told us to “be fruitful and multiply.” He gave no conditions. He did not say “multiply up to and including eight children at which point you must stop.” At the same time He did not say “be fruitful and multiply until you have exceeded five children.” So there seem to be no hard and fast rules about how many children are appropriate in God’s eyes. We do hear hints, though, that God approves of large families and that many children represent a special blessing. For example, Psalm 127 says “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them.” Not too many people would enter a battle with a quiver “full” of only one or two arrows.
God will provide - God tells us time and again throughout Scripture that He will provide for us. When we faithfully follow Him, He promises that He will provide for all our needs. We are to have confidence that no matter how impossible our needs may seem, He will provide. Thus a family with fifteen children can have the same confidence as a family with one child that God will provide for physical and financial needs.
No God-given birth control - God has not given humans the innate ability to enjoy sexual relations while absolutely avoiding pregnancy. In other words, when a man and woman have sex there is always the possibility of a pregnancy unless they use some “artificial” method of birth control or one of them is infertile or beyond childbearing years.
God opens the womb - God is absolutely sovereign. He has foreordained every pregnancy that has ever happened and that will ever happen. Whether a woman has one children or fifteen, God has decreed the beginning and end of each pregnancy.
No command to use birth control - Nowhere in the Bible does God command that a couple must or should use birth control at any stage in their marriage.
No explicit command against birth control - Nowhere in the Bible does God explicitly command that a couple must not use birth control.
Freedom - Within the boundaries God has created for us, He gives us great freedom. He allows us to spend much of our lives living within the bounds imposed by conscience based on sanctified reasoning. The question that faces us is whether or not the issue of birth control falls within the bounds of Christian freedom. I will turn to that subject (and others) tomorrow.
Comments (62) »
1. Blake
February 1, 2007
11:53 AM
Wow, this is all something my fiancee and I have been talking about for months. We have been thinking along all these same lines, but it’s surprising how many people have counseled us and looked at us like we were crazy if we didn’t want to use it. I guess I’m thinking if someone really believes the Lord is sovereign over the womb, why would you want to take it into your own hands and try to help him?
2. Michael
February 1, 2007
12:10 PM
Really looking forward to your comments tomorrow for a couple of reasons:
1. We struggled with infertility for many years, finally deciding to adopt a baby girl (now a first grader). Before we decided to adopt, we consedered in-vitro fertilization, but we were concerned about some of the biblical issues.
2. Also, I was unaware of my inconsistent opinions regarding birth control. I did not realize until quite recently that some methods not only prevent fertilization, but they may also cause a women’s body to spontaneous abort if she becomes pregnant.
Good luck with the article as you are dealing with difficult issues.
3. Finrod
February 1, 2007
12:52 PM
Allow me to nit-pick, since that is what I seem to do best. I realize that all of the following questions have answers (although not all answers are created equal) and all my comments can be rebuffed (but see above parenthesis re answers). Please understand, too, that some of the following may be a bit tongue-in-cheek but are also legitimate questions.
Having said that …
1. Tim says that Onan was rubbed out “because he refused to fulfill his duty towards his brother and his brother’s family.” While perhaps not untrue, isn’t this bordering on a “limited-by-gender” remark? Is it not possible that God killed Onan - not because of the sin against the other men (living or dead) - but because he essentially raped his sister-in-law under the guise of serving God (or even without the guise)?
2. “But as a rule, abstinence within marriage is wrong. “ So if a man reaches an age where (for whatever reason) he is unable to achieve and/or maintain an erection, is he sinning? What should he do? Is it acceptable to take Viagra but not fertility drugs? Why would either be OK?
3. “It seems to be part of God’s plan for sexuality that there is always the possibility that a woman may become pregnant as long as she is physically able to bear children.” This being the case, is abstinence acceptable or allowed if the woman is at or beyond menopause? Or should we keep the door open for another Sarah situation? Or need we only feel compelled to engage in octogenarian intercourse if some angels show up first?
4. If “we cannot destroy life as a method of birth control”, what are we to do in the case of pregnancies that actually do threaten - to the point of almost guaranteeing - the death of the mother (e.g., ectopic pregnancies or preganancies during lupus, in which neither mother nor child will survive)? Is it more spiritual to allow both to die? Granted that “hard bases make bad law,” where exactly is the line to be drawn or what is the principle to be followed?
5. Since “God expects and demands that we have at least some children and raise families for His glory”, and given that “God has not given humans the innate ability to enjoy sexual relations while absolutely avoiding pregnancy” and abstinence is not an option, why say “some” children? Shouldn’t Christians pop them out as quickly as their DNA and pheromones allow? What is the biblical basis for not having children without limit?
Furthermore, should a man not have or enjoy intercourse with his wife when she is pregnant (since this “absolutely” avoids pregnancy)? Did my flesh drive me to enjoy such intimacy with my wife when she was pregnant with our children (since we lack a God-given “innate ability”)?
6. “When we faithfully follow Him, He promises that He will provide for all our needs.” If this is the case, then should I have children - and as many as possible - regardless of my perceived ability to financially, emotionally, or physically support them? Should whatever difficulties might arise from busloads of children be ignored because God will provide for them in ways I cannot anticipate? Am I getting this right?
7. “He did not say ‘multiply up to and including eight children at which point you must stop.’ At the same time He did not say ‘be fruitful and multiply until you have exceeded five children.’” Is these not eisogetic arguments from silence? God didn’t say a lot of things (He didn’t say “don’t do drugs”): can we infer from His silence that such matters are thus a matter of freedom? If the “drug” illustration is unsatisfactory, how about His silence regarding R-rated movies? Gangsta rap? Does His silence negate a clear teaching - “be fruitful and multiply” - elsewhere?
OK, I’ll cease and desist. I hope this comment is taken in the spirit in which I intended it. I am being heuristic, not contrary - except where the latter serves the former, of course.
4. mpethe
February 1, 2007
12:55 PM
I would appreciate hearing your thoughts on IVF too.
5. Jim
February 1, 2007
1:18 PM
Is it simply co-incidental that the sexual revolution of the 60’s happened right after the introduction of the birth control pill in 1960.
Tim, perhaps you need to examine the underlying reasons so many Christian couples are refusing to have more than one or two children these days. Could this not be the main cause for so much birth control?
6. Luke
February 1, 2007
1:29 PM
Tim,
If you have done, or would do study, on “abortifacients” I think it would be wonderfully helpful. It radically affected my opinion of drugs like orthotricycline (one brand of the pill).
Thanks!
7. Dallas Pymm
February 1, 2007
1:55 PM
If I recall I believe Tim did a post quite a bit ago that dealt with “abortifacients” very well.
I have a question Tim. Why is it that you, or anyone if they want, believe that “be fruitful and mulitiply” implies that Christians must have children?
8. Scott
February 1, 2007
2:07 PM
As far as this thing called blogging, I think you have found a way to balance personal reflection and theological precision. Lay the foundation (the part with which we can all pretty much agree) in part one, and then follow up with your reflections and opinions in round two.
Good job on showing what the Bible makes clear today. I’ll look forward to exploring various avenues (the controversial parts) tomorrow.
Thanks.
9. Jacob
February 1, 2007
2:56 PM
I look forward to reading what you have to say. I’ve taken a lot of flack for some of my ideas on birth control from my Christian friends.
10. Timothy Davis
February 1, 2007
3:04 PM
We went from not being convinced of contraception at the start of our marriage (based on Onan) to being convinced of certain forms within certain contexts.
Two elements of our situation today as opposed to the Beginning is that we live in a Fallen world, e.g. where in some instances an illness could kill a woman if she had more children, and that we are not living in an agrarian community that is expanding into virgin territory, i.e. more children in the past meant more workers to provide for the additional mouths to feed.
11. Finrod
February 1, 2007
3:29 PM
What happened? Did my previous (albeit looonnnnggg) comment get lost? Banned?
Timmy, can you hear me?
12. Kate
February 1, 2007
4:27 PM
Some of these verses, such as “be fruitful and multiply” could be cultural. There are so many factors, like overpopulation, which were not issues when the Bible was written. Example: Orphanages in China and in many other countries are absolutely overflowing with children that cannot be provided for—who desperately need a good home—while some families are having 6-8-10 kids each. I’m not arguing that the desire to have many children is wrong. I just argue that, perhaps, more families might “be fruitful and multiply” by adopting rather than purposefully having their own. Or, at least, do a little of both. Overpopulation is a huge problem that we can’t totally ignore. As Christians, we are also called to be good stewards of the Earth and our resources. Wouldn’t this apply?
One more thing, if God opens and closes the womb, as the Bible says, the use of birth control isn’t going to stop His will. Sometimes people approach this topic as if we could, somehow, interfere with God’s plan. Believe me, I have 3 kids under the age of 2—all conceived while using birth control! I am living proof that God will work as He sees fit, regardless of what our plans are. I am also living proof that He does provide! Thanks for your thoughts, Tim. I enjoyed reading this post!
13. Mike Wittmann
February 1, 2007
4:36 PM
I find it extremely troubling that Christians try so hard to prevent babies and, and the same time, try so hard to pile up the things the Bible says are temporary and fleeting (money, houses, cars, big TVs, etc.). It seems that our attitude on children has, to our great shame, been shaped more by the introduction of a little pill than it has by the Word of God.
Speaking of “The Pill,” it is scientifically accepted that one of the ways the Pill works is by making a woman’s uterus hostile to a fertilized egg, so it cannot and will not implant as it makes its “journey” through the womb. Non-christian doctors know this. “Ultra-pro-life” doctors know this. The only medical community that questions this are doctors who consider themselves pro-life, but don’t want to have to take such a hard stance that they can’t still proscribe birth control pills to their patients.
14. K C
February 1, 2007
5:18 PM
Tim,
I am glad for your discussion on this issue. I am thankful for your balanced approach so far, and I sense you will continue it in the next article.
One area that I hope you discuss is that of “uncontrolled childbearing.” We know of a Christian couple who currently has 12 children (nothing wrong with that in and of itself), believes birth control is unbiblical, and plans to have more children in the future.
The problem is, the man of this large household has not/cannot support his 14-member family. He is on state/government aid and dozens of guilt-ridden church members have “picked up the slack” for them by constantly buying groceries, clothes, shoes, etc for their children because they feel they are neglected. I have observed their children at church dinners eating as though they were making up for days of starvation and collecting food in their pockets to take home.
The questions I have pondered regarding this situation is this: Is it right to hold to your own convictions of birth control even when it affects other people and forces them to shoulder the load that you cannot carry? Is it possible to sin by having too many children? Or, is it merely unwise (a wisdom issue)? Any thoughts you might have regarding this idea of “uncontrolled/unwise childbearing” would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks again for your boldness to blog about this.
15. David Ould
February 1, 2007
5:40 PM
Thanks for a great post, Tim. Have you read “An Open Embrace” by Torrode and Torrode? It’s a great look at the issue by an amazingly mature young Christian couple. Certainly helped my wife and I out loads in sorting out our motivations in this whole area.
16. joseph blough
February 1, 2007
6:04 PM
Challies said:
“Not too many people would enter a battle with a quiver “full” of only one or two arrows.”
Well, not too many Christians would live in the city with a quiver holding more than 3 arrows. All of the Christians I know with a “full quiver” live out in the boondocks. But then again, I guess its easier to fight the lions, tigers, and bears out there with a “full quiver.”
17. Blake
February 1, 2007
6:06 PM
Overpopulation is a scientific myth, and also non-sensical if you believe in the supremety of God. It would be like saying God had a vineyard and “over-planted” it and is now fretting over how the vines choke the vines—this is a non-possible theological position. Besides, I read on AIG (http://www.answersingenesis.org/creation/v23/i3/people.asp) one time that all of man’s industrial and agriculturalinfrastructure and inhabitation covers less than 5% of the earth’s habitable landmass. That’s not including mountain ranges, deserts or uninhabitable tundra or marsh. Hmmmmm. I think this is exactly what some have said already: throwing out God’s standards because of human wisdom.
18. MM
February 1, 2007
7:10 PM
I found comment by Mike above to be true for us. Before we were getting married we went to my ob/gyn (who I went to church with) for me to get my prenatal vitamins and exam, etc. We talked to him about the pill and tried to talk to him about why we weren’t going to use it. He outright denied that the pill could actually cause an abortion by not allowing a fertilized egg to implant even though we knew that if we opened his Physicians Desk Reference it would say the exact opposite.
Very sad!
19. Tom
February 1, 2007
7:25 PM
Although this discussion is primarily theological, it’s highly personal for me. 15 years ago, after the birth of our third child, I convinced my wife to allow me to have a vascectomy. I believed at the time that I was exersising proper leadership by taking control of the situation. I didn’t seek biblical counsel, nor did I seek pastoral counsel. Very shortly, I began to regret the decision. For years I’ve had this sense that I’ve denied my wife the joys of additional children, because that’s what she expressed to me when we became engaged. I’ve considered over the years, a reversal, but it was cost prohibitive, not to mention, no guarantee of success. Well, now I could probably afford it, but my wife has reached that age that it would be very risky.
Tim, your post prompted anew the sense of regret that has existed on some level for years. However, I feel much released and forgiven after sharing my thoughts with my wife and asking her forgiveness. The fact is, my wife forgave me long ago and she reminded me of the joys still to come by way of grandchildren (our 1st will be coming in a few days).
20. Jane
February 1, 2007
7:27 PM
Curious as to how you view the Pill for non-contraceptive purposes? I am single, but am on the Pill to treat endometriosis. In my case, the Pill is supposed to both lessen the symptoms (ie debilitating pain) and slow the progression of the disease.
My dr. said that pregnancy will help slow it/ stop it as well, but since I’m unmarried, that’s not an option now. If/when I do get married, I want to know: is it still ok to stay on the Pill to help out with this condition? If it really is an abortifacient, then the answer is “absolutely not.” But I am worried— I don’t want to have to go through this kind of excruciating pain again, but I cannot stay on the Pill if it truly is an abortifacient. Anyone here able to shed a little light for me?
21. Meredith B.
February 1, 2007
10:34 PM
Tim, I appreciate your balanced and thoughtful commentary so far.
Jane, I understand your dilemma. My husband and I have never used birth control, especially the pill after I read Randy Alcorn’s research on the subject. If you go to his website, www.epm.org, you can find his well researched booklet on the subject. Another thing - when researching whether a contraceptive method is an abortaficient you need to read carefully. Many doctors do not consider something an abortaficient until after the fertilized egg has implanted in the uterus. The pro choice movement will even claim that the morning after pill is not an abortaficient because it catches the fertilized egg before it’s implanted. They don’t believe it’s a real pregnancy until then while pro-lifers would contend that life (and pregnancy) begins at conception even before the fertilized egg has implanted in the uterus. I hope that helps.
Blessings.
22. Chris Umphlett
February 1, 2007
10:45 PM
good stuff. i have thought about this topic a lot too the last few years, especially prompted by hearing and reading pro-life Catholics at conferences or speakers we brought to my school.
Catholics deserve a lot of credit for bringing awareness to these issues. For the commenter who mentioned the sexual revolution in the 60s, i believe that Pope John Paul(?) wrote before then that if our society began using birth control, there would be an increase in not only abortions and sexual immorality, but euthanasia and “death” related-issues. you can argue about the causality, but very prophetic words..
23. A mom content with four
February 1, 2007
10:53 PM
God gave me a uterus AND a brain. Don’t you think he would want me to use both?
24. Jim Swindle
February 1, 2007
11:05 PM
If I understand the Old Testament holiness laws correctly, a couple who followed them would be likely to have a child every couple of years, instead of every year.
Jewish couples were forbidden to have relations during a woman’s time of uncleanness. Some people today seem to think it’s a couple’s duty to have sexual relations every time it’s physically possible. That results in more children than would come from following the Old Testament law.
25. Julie
February 2, 2007
12:40 AM
I have to agree with Mr. Swindle. I think that OT families (or family life prior to electricity and indoor plumbing) had to work hard to search and prepare food along with washing clothes, sewing, farming, etc, that they were too tired to perform everynight. Plus they weren’t exposed to half nude bodies running around, and soft porn TV commercials, perverted music, and all of the sexual debauchery that goes on in this day and age. Plus they breastfed for two or three years and probably understood the rythm method bettter than most women today. Plus they had shorter lifespans. And they needed more children to help within their households. But I still believe that God is the giver of life to whomever and however many. He is the Sovereign King!
26. Sheree Cade
February 2, 2007
1:14 AM
If our days are numbered and God heals, do we alone pray if we have an appendicitis, or do we also seek medical intervention via an appendectomy?
What about penicillin for strept throat?
What about birth control that doesn’t abort an embryo?
Sexual abstinence is permitted “with agreement for a time so that you may devote yourselves to prayer”. Could that be specific to abstaining and praying together for God’s will regarding having a child?
Thanks for your insights.
SLC
27. Blake
February 2, 2007
2:36 AM
Lumping birth control as a medical breakthrough that people should be grateful for right along with penicillin and medical treaments shows an attitude opposite to scripture—children are not a disease, infection or problem to parents, but a blessing. I am stung with sadness and almost feel a chill run down my spine when I go to the local drugstore and see the isle marker that says ‘family planning’.
Jim, about the Old Testament families—a woman cannot possibly conceive a child for a few days before, during, and after her femine cycle (it is not a time of uncleanliness… there is no more uncleanliness thanks to Christ). God designed it this way, and it’s surprising how few people seem to know this, but there are only 2 or 3 days a month a woman actually is able to become pregnant.
28. Josh
February 2, 2007
9:24 AM
God gave me a uterus AND a brain. Don’t you think he would want me to use both?
I like this quote from above because it pretty well describes the way I feel about it. A family reaches the point where they realize ‘OK, its time to stop TRYING to have more kids.’ I’ve got what would be called a ‘bunch’, at least these days. I won’t turn any more down if we happen to have some more but we’re not trying any more. I hope that makes sense.
Yes we have brains and they ARE to be used for thinking. What a concept.
Tim I’ve got to hand it to you man, you are unafraid to write about anything.
Josh
“…the word of God is not bound.”
—2 Timothy 2:9
29. Sally
February 2, 2007
9:48 AM
I honestly think the concept that God will provide no matter how many children you have is simplistic. Surely God expects us to be responsible about our ability to provide for, and keep safe, those children we do have. How well is God providing for children starving to death in Africa? Yes, God does expect us to use the brains he has given us. If I have numerous children and so cannot keep watch over them all the time to assure their safety, and one falls off the deck and becomes paralyzed, is that God’s will? I don’t think so. What if I had limited myself to 2 or 3 so as to be able to be a more effective parent? Does God provide all large families with huge incomes so that the mothers can hire nannies to help out? Not as far as I can see. Can all large families ( and even small ones) afford to send all their children to university? Of course not. But does that mean that God is against education?
If God will really provide no matter what, then why don’t my husband and I quit our jobs and wait for the money we need to care for our family to fall from the sky.
30. Sheree Cade
February 2, 2007
9:50 AM
Blake, “shows an attitude opposite to scripture”…Wow, you read in something that is not there. I do believe “children are a blessing”. My question about seeking medical intervention (appendectomy) when God is soveriegn over the number of our days and He heals came from your initial posting of “I guess I’m thinking if someone really believes the Lord is soveriegn over the womb, why would you want to take it into your own hands and try to help him?” That logic seems inconsistent when applied to other areas of the Christian life.
SLC
31. deborah
February 2, 2007
10:09 AM
Blake,
“a woman cannot possibly conceive a child for a few days before, during, and after her femine cycle”
Um, no. There is less likelyhood that a woman would become pregnant during those days, but not impossible. Also, you fail to take into account women without regular cycles or excess bleeding. So even if your statement was true, some women have great difficulty determining when that “safe” time would be.
32. Tim Challies
February 2, 2007
10:46 AM
Thanks for all the comments. I’m going to read through them over the weekend and post the second part of this article on Monday. I got distracted today by something else!
Tim
33. Lance Roberts
February 2, 2007
11:09 AM
It’s all about sovereignty, either God is sovereign over the womb, or man is.
Overpopulation is a myth.
Why would you reject the blessing of God?
34. Blake
February 2, 2007
11:17 AM
I believe God is sovereign over the number of days of every life, but he uses things like surgery to heal—just like God is sovereign over the work of world evangelism, but he uses missionaries to make disciples.
All I meant was that my first statement about not trying to help God with contraceptives can’t be applied to things like infections and diseases, because those things are not blessings. Children are, and to use medical means to stop blessing is strange. When someone has a health problem and gets surgery, they can have this attitude of, “dear God, thank you for doctors and medicine and thank you for bringing me through this time of trial that is sure to make me stronger and closer to Christ. I pray you would have your will but if possible, that I could live to an old age to be a blessing to others and grow in faith.”
When someone has 2 children and then stops, it seems like an attitude of “dear God, I appreciate very much your wisdom in giving me 2 blessings, but even though your Word tells me more blessings will make me happy and strong and that you will personally see to the provision (through me and my work) of every blessing you send, I am going to pass; and in fact, I think I’ll just make sure you don’t throw any curveballs by using a few mgs of this chemical in my wife or a thin peice of latex. That ought to stop you in case you get any ideas that would further burden my life…”
God gives us a brain—why can’t we use it to see how completely bourne out of the thinking of this world an attitude like that is? Why can’t we use it to transform our beliefs and values to match scripture rather than culture?
35. Blake
February 2, 2007
11:43 AM
Sally — the same thing could happen with 2 or even 1 children. Lots of things could happen. And yes, it would be God’s will if it happened, just like Katrina, the Tsunami, 9/11… but besides, you choose: would you rather be paralyzed for life or never even born?
36. Sally
February 2, 2007
1:19 PM
Blake:
So according to you God is responsible for all the bad things that happen ? Bad stuff is his will? I believe a large number of theologians would disagree with you. I thought that was Satan’s work.
More children are not a blessing to starving mothers in Africa. The whole world is not like North America.
Sally
37. Joel
February 2, 2007
5:27 PM
Being Catholic, this is a little more cut-and-dried for me than for Protestants. We have a specific set of guidelines, even if they’re not universally followed. Still, I get some odd looks when I say that we believe in birth control, as long as God does the controlling. (As our seven kids can attest.)
38. Michael Garner
February 2, 2007
6:20 PM
Sally said:
“So according to you God is responsible for all the bad things that happen ? Bad stuff is his will? I believe a large number of theologians would disagree with you. I thought that was Satan’s work.”
There is no point in arguing over the percentage of theologians who may or may not agree/disagree with the statement. What we are both concerned with (Blake too, I am sure) is what the Bible teaches.
The Bible teaches that God is sovereign over all events, regardless of whether they appear good or evil. I think the most helpful event to look at is the crucifixion of Jesus. This is the most evil event of all time. The ONLY innocent person of all time was crucified by evil men (according to the Scripture). One could even argue that it was the work of Satan!
However, the ultimate truth is that God was sovereign over this event and it was his will. Just as Genesis 50 tells us, “You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.”
This is not only the case with evil caused by man, but also “natural evils” (natural disasters, etc.).
As Eph 1:11 teaches, God works all things according to the purpose of his will.
It is a terrible thing when disaster strikes. Sometimes it looks like there is merely gratuitous suffering. However, the solution is NOT to discount the sovereignty of God over these circumstances. The solution is to realize that we have limited perspective and the all-knowing creator of the universe works all things according to the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose.
God bless,
mike
39. afrikaner
February 2, 2007
9:19 PM
By instigating birth control is it possible that man has indeed become sovereign over God by ultimately stopping the formation of a human being? If there is no human being - then there is nothing to be saved or condemned. Does this alter the plans of God for predestination and election somehow? Or does God still have His people in those ‘elect’ eggs and ‘elect’ sperm that haven’t become the eggs they may have become if there were no birth control intervention?
I believe in birth control and believe God uses it for His own purposes.
40. Thomas Twitchell
February 2, 2007
9:36 PM
Wow, this is all something my fiancee and I have been talking about for months. We have been thinking along all these same lines, but it’s surprising how many people have counseled us and looked at us like we were crazy if we didn’t want to use it. I guess I’m thinking if someone really believes the Lord is sovereign over the womb, why would you want to take it into your own hands and try to help him?
Blake February 1, 2007 11:53 AM
take it into your own hands and try to help him?
Blake, was this a joke?
41. Diane
February 2, 2007
10:01 PM
“God gave me a uterus AND a brain. Don’t you think he would want me to use both?”
He gave me the same, yet……..my aim in life is not to please myself, but to please HIM. And, my belief is that Scripture teaches that children are a blessing, and that God is sovereign over all things, including my womb.
Just because a couple doesn’t use any birth control doesn’t mean they will have a lot of children. We have never used b/c in over 17 years of marriage, and God has blessed us with two children. There are others He has not blessed with children, and others, He has blessed them with several children.
God does provide for His children. He promises to meet our needs, not our wants. I like the below verse:
Psa 37:25 I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread.
He has never failed us yet. As I write this, we have a broken down van, and it’s our only transportation. My trust is in Him alone.
42. Blake
February 3, 2007
2:24 AM
Well put, Michael Garner! Amen to that.
Thomas - I don’t see how it could be a joke when it’s given as my honest thoughts on the subject. However I wonder if what our South African friend said was a joke too…
As Diane says - why should our focus in life be anything other than bringing honor to such a great God? Rather than ask the question: is it a sin? (which is a pretty pathetic question to ask as a believer… seriously, it’s literally the least, most mediocre, bare minimum, shallow and insincere question someone could ask the Lord) Believers should ask the question: how does this help me run? is this holy in the sight of the Lord? how does this help me fight temptation? will this give honor to Christ? would this make the Lord unashamed to be my God? You see the difference between those mindsets? Night and day!
You see, someone living a life focused on honoring the Lord the very most they could would see something like birth control in a different light than the world does. All I wonder is how can it be the most honoring to my sovereign, living God to “assist” him in planning my family… in case he might have plans I’m not ok with.
43. afrikaner
February 3, 2007
6:36 AM
Of course God is sovereign! The bible is absolutely clear on that. However I believe that He understands the human condition more than any of us could ever know. He knows our sittings and our uprisings. He knows we are weak. He uses means for our good - both in chastisement and giving all things freely to us. He knows that some will use birth control… he knows that there will be a certain number in the elect … before the foundation of the world. I see no problem in control of fertility by means…… I have seen the misery of unwanted pregnancy, of children born to die of AIDS, of not having enough to eat, …. it is very convenient in the affluent west (minority countries) to be so super spiritual about these things and use wisdom literature inappropriately for one’s own ends. Nobody answered the person who has a church member abusing the welfare system or their church fellows…. why don’t you just you use a condom and be done with it and stop sinning against your Lord and brethren in your misguided self righteousness. These are not easy questions to answer and to give a glib self righteous answer to the question of birth control is just too simplistic. (A bit like Job’s well meaning but totally off the mark firends….) I can just see the puffed chest being pushed out by home schooling, home churching, huge households in a pharasaical ways belittling those brethren who hold to a different view. Their sanctification and obedience to God is so much more fulfilled and of course they have more covenant children to fill their legalistic churches.
Hope to see Tims second part soon.
44. Michael Garner
February 3, 2007
7:16 AM
Afrikaner,
You said:
“I have seen the misery of unwanted pregnancy, of children born to die of AIDS, of not having enough to eat”
Would you allow me to suggest that this is the misery of a fallen world and not necessarily the “misery of unwanted pregnancy?” The Bible never once portrays pregnancy (“wanted” or not) in this manner. However, it often portrays the fallen nature of this world in this manner.
You said:
“I can just see the puffed chest being pushed out by home schooling, home churching, huge households in a pharasaical ways belittling those brethren who hold to a different view. Their sanctification and obedience to God is so much more fulfilled and of course they have more covenant children to fill their legalistic churches.”
That is such an inappropriate pair of sentences that I can only hope a retraction is printed as soon as possible. I believe you warned others about “glib self righteous answers.”
In Christ alone,
mike
45. Chris Umphlett
February 3, 2007
9:04 AM
in response to Afrikaner when he asked, can birth control make you sovereign over God?
I would say no. i don’t know yet what my opinion is on the subject, what i will/would do, but answering this would be one reason to use birth control.
Birth control in all forms (except for maybe the surgery route?!) is not 100% effective.
Even the pill.
I knew a couple this summer that had either their first or 2nd child while using the birth control pill. that failure, along with their questions about it, i think had led them to not use the pill anymore. but i also see that event as proof that you can use the pill and not be totally “playing God” on the when/how many kids subject
FWIW
46. deborah
February 3, 2007
10:02 AM
I think that there are also issues of perspective. My friend and I disagree on birthcontrol. I believe that if I use it, God is all powerful and can cause pregnancy anyway if it is his will. My friend believes that if she doesn’t use birthcontrol that God is all powerful and can prevent pregnancy anyway if it is his will. I think that we are both correct.
47. Carole
February 3, 2007
10:04 AM
Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21
A pastor of ours once said, “I have enough humanism in me to last a lifetime.” This discussion reveals how far we have strayed from God’s perspective on children, how influence we are by humanism. Even those of us who want to have larger than average families hold to worldviews colored by our postmodern society. Some of us are conned into believing the myth of overpopulation, or succumb to the scarcity mentality - not enough money, time or resources to have a large family. Others of us may seriously contemplate the possibility of having a large family but are afraid of the ridicule from neighbors, friends and family. Fear. Pride. Unbelief. Self-righteousness. Lots of ugly things rear their heads when the issue of family planning is raised.
I agree with Blake (#42) - we should be asking ourselves, with honesty, what’s in our hearts? Where does our treasure lie? Am I choosing this because it’s easier for me? More convenient? What does the culture teach about children? Do they value them? How has my Christian worldview been compromised by the ‘subtle’ influence of our culture?
It’s easy for this debate to become heated - strong convictions reveal themselves, emotions are roused. I am certainly one to get excited about this issue. I want to win over anyone who sees differently than me - let me whip out my bible and thump it over their heads a few times, that will set them straight. :) Not really. But how about asking honest questions and allowing God to move in our hearts and reveal His will? It isn’t always comfortable, the answers aren’t always ‘easy.’ And yet I know without a shadow of a doubt that I would rather err on the side of life, I would rather believe in a great God who does provide, I would rather live for a King who reigns supreme in every area of my life.
48. Mandi
February 3, 2007
11:51 AM
I wanted to address the person who mentioned the person who keeps having children that they cannot provide for. Sometimes it is other people’s circumstances that allow us to be blessed with giving. I think it is wonderful that the church family is pouring out their hearts to these children and providing them clothing and food. God is certainly glorified in this….and maybe this is the Lord’s way of providing for these kids. I have 4 children and I remember when my husband was laid off. We were so blessed by the outpouring of love from our church. I was thanking my friend after she had brought us over a hot meal and in return she thanked me. She thanked me for allowing her to be generous.
I also wanted to note that it is tragic what happens in Africa. I too cry when I see the children with skin and bones and bloated bellies. But do I think that any of those children are a mistake?! No! The director of the Pregnancy Center where I work returned recently from a mission trip in Africa. She was amazed at the genuine love she was shown and the humbleness of their hearts. Sometimes I wonder if people in 3rd world countries are actually the blessed ones.
And one final note, many of the reasons that people have listed here for wanting to contracept are the exact same reasons that women give me for wanting to have an abortion. I love the idea in the Theology of the Body —— In order to be “true to the sign,” spouses must speak as Christ speaks. Christ gives his body freely (“No one takes my life from me, I lay it down of my own accord,” Jn 10:18). He gives his body without reservation (“he loved them to the last,” Jn 13:1). He gives his body faithfully (“I am with you always,” Mt 28:20). And he gives his body fruitfully (“I came that they may have life,” Jn 10:10).
You can read the whole article by Christopher West here: http://www.christopherwest.com/article4.asp
49. Blake
February 3, 2007
12:09 PM
Amen Carole and Mandi! Especially Mandi with that great illustration of how in a situation of need, both the people who are in need AND the church that meets the need are blessed greatly. We are seeking to honor God the most we can by using his standards and values, not to honor God the most we can by still holding to our culture-shaped values—which isn’t very much at all. A surrendered life to Christ is a daily battle of crushing the mind of the flesh and groaning to have a redeemed transformed wisdom of the Lord, but we are very blessed there are so many debates we don’t even have to consider; they are made plain in the Bible.
50. Ann
February 3, 2007
12:23 PM
Michael Garner and Afrikaner have both made very good comments.
FYI to all who want to use birth control—a condom with spermicidal (used together) is very nearly as effective as the pill and prevents the egg from being fertilized—so is not an abortifactant.
God’s design in creation was for mankind to order and subdue the earth. We are to manage the earth with wisdom, including birth control. The command to be fruitful and multiply was given to Isaac and then to Jacob. Contextually I see this as a command for the benefit of growing the nation of Isreal. I don’t see it given as a Creation command or a Mosaic command. To apply this command to us today seems to be forcing meaning into the passage. Am I missing something? Also, check out this from John Piper http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/QuestionsAndAnswers/ByTitle/1440_Does_the_Bible_permit_birth_control/
51. Sally
February 3, 2007
12:52 PM
Thank you Ann for the John Piper link. I recommend that all who are commenting here read the article.
52. Mandi
February 3, 2007
3:03 PM
If we were to apply the “free, total, faithful, fruitful” principle to the condom it does not pass. The marital union is supposed to be the greatest representation of God’s love that we have here on earth. It is a reflection of His love. When a husband is wearing a condom he is saying to his wife, “you can have me but not my fertility…” He is not giving his body without reservation or being fruitful. I cannot imagine that any man enjoys wearing a condom. I also disagree with Piper’s statement that artificial contraception and NFP are the same thing. I defer to my previous link on this as Christopher West has devoted his life to these teachings and says it far more sensical and eloquently than I could. I just think that contraception does nothing to bring a couple closer. I’m talking real intimacy here. I’ve never heard a couple say, “now that we are using birth control our love making is just so much better” — but I have heard plenty of couples comment on how much their love life improved after getting rid of contraceptions. I ultimately think it is up to each couple to decide but I think they are missing out on something really beautiful when they take the contraceptive mindset. And one other thing about Piper’s article….I don’t think most people are contracepting because they have prayed about the size of their family and what to be good stewards. I think most people contracept because “everyone else is” and because they don’t want to think of giving up the better car, house, tv, vacation, etc. Either that or God really does want everyone to have 2.2 children since that seems to be the answer most people come up with when planning their family.
53. Sally
February 3, 2007
3:58 PM
Mandi,
While I respect your viewpoint, based on your last sentence, you are thinking from a position where you are comparing to other Christian, North American couples who have income, a roof over their heads, etc. It is not necessarily applicable to all males and females in the world (think poverty stricken overcrowded countries). Are they any less God’s people than you and your church’s members are? There is no such thing to them as a “better car, 2.2. children” etc. Could you imagine contraception as actually a responsible choice for a mother with 9 children all living in squallor with insufficent food, no clean water? That is quite different from suggesting that a wonderful ,well-off Christian couple living in this country should be willing to add to their family by avoiding the use of artificial methods of birth control and thereby add to the number of Chrsians here. But the Bible doesn’t say “American Christians do this, but Indians and Africans, do something else”.
54. Joel
February 3, 2007
5:02 PM
I liked G K Chesterton’s words on the subject (probably misquoted a little): “When people speak of birth control, they really mean no birth and no control.”
55. Carole
February 3, 2007
5:19 PM
Sally, I feel that your thoughts on ‘poverty stricken overcrowded countries’ are clouded by our American view of children. We feel that they are a burden. Families in third world countries view them as an asset. We raise them on television, video games, soccer clubs and prom dances. They raise them to work hard as productive members of society.
The solution to poverty is not to reduce family size. Any time we try to intervene with solutions that ‘work’ in our western affluent culture, an integral balance is thrown askew. For example, when Nestle began giving formula to women in third world countries the ramifications were profound. More children were dying after formula was introduced than before. Since they were not breastfeeding, women experienced an early return of their fertility, which certainly didn’t help the situation. (yes, breastfeeding is a great way to space babies!) Lo and behold, God’s design for breastfeeding has been found to be superior to that of man’s invented formula! In the same way I believe that intervening with contraceptives as an ‘answer’ to the poverty crisis will only result in a deeper crisis because it goes against the natural design of a woman’s body.
Here are just a few links to articles addressing some of these issues and more:
http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/Organizations/healthnet/SAsia/depop/Chap3.html
http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/population/pc0007.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nestl%C3%A9_boycott
http://www.babymilkaction.org/
56. Heather_in_WI
February 4, 2007
12:57 PM
“When people speak of birth control, they really mean no birth and no control.”
You can read this in context here: http://www.cse.dmu.ac.uk/~mward/gkc/books/Social_Reform_B.C.html
It is a fantastic read! :)
57. Kim K
February 4, 2007
2:51 PM
I’ve wrestled with this one. After having my tubes tied after the birth of our 4th child, I couldn’t help feeling that God was unhappy about all the Christians who voluntarily sterilize themselves. There are legitimate reasons, to be sure, but I think the root cause is usually convenience.
I found it unsettling that, when we were pregnant with our 4th, our church family were the ones saying things like, “I glad it’s you and not me”, and “You certainly didn’t plan this, did you?” (We’ve since adopted 3 children, and then no more questions about planning were asked!)
Also, our pastor was giving a sermon on child-rearing and joked about wanting to kill your teen-age children. Killing your children is now joke material in church? I think the church has a tendency to lose its focus on how God views children and families.
58. Anne
February 4, 2007
8:26 PM
I suffer from severe depression and an anxiety disorder. When we had our first child - a beautiful baby boy - I fell into a deep pit of despair and mananged to climb out after 10 long, hard months. My husband had to juggle a full time job, a new baby and a wife who couldn’t really look after herself, let alone a baby. When the baby was 19 months old we fell pregnant with our second child, a girl. At first we thought that we had escaped the curse of PPD, but it was not to be. I fell into the same pit and we had the same difficulties - deep, long lasting, physically, socially, emotionally and spiritually, life inhibiting post natal depression. This time my husband had two children to care for and I was seriously ill not for 10 months this time but two years. I was unable to undertake the simplest of tasks and was dependent on my husband for everything.
We wanted a third child (and I was very keen on a fourth), but at the age of 35 and having only just emerged from the despair of PPD, we knew that our child bearing would have to come to an end. The children that we had needed a mother who could look after them, and love them and teach them in the ways of the Lord - not a mother who could barely get out of bed in the morning. I had a greater than 99% chance of the PPD recurring and it being worse the third time. To have had another child would have been nothing short of irresponsible in our case. We undertook permanent birth control not because we were selfish or acting contrary to God’s Will but because of this illness that I have. Incidentally, I was the one who had surgery for birth control because I know that my child-bearing days are numbered but my husband’s are not. If anything was to happen to me and he married again, he’d be able to have more children.
Thanks to the fall of man and the entry of sin into the world this world is not perfect. My body is subject to illness and decay as is everyone’s. It just happens that the decay in my case has its worst affects in the child-bearing arena. It’s not fair and I would wish it otherwise, but that’s the facts.
59. Chris Gates
February 5, 2007
12:01 AM
There are many couples in the church today that desire to have children but can’t have them (or at least God has saw fit not to give them any as of yet). But, these couples are the exception. It is sad, but the truth is that we do not value children in this country, or in the church today. My wife and I used birth control for the first 5 years of our marriage. This is something that we now deeply regret. We have one son (15mths), and have been married for 7 years. I don’t think there is much difference between birth control and abortion. One just takes place prior to conception (in most cases) and one takes place afterwards. Who are we to tell God how many children he may bless us with? We need to repent of our rebellion before God.
Soli Deo Gloria,
Chris.
60. Joel
February 5, 2007
12:33 PM
I don’t think there is much difference between birth control and abortion.
I see a difference only in terms of societal morality. Both of them are sins against Christian morality, but I don’t see that a non-Christian has any reason to be bound by our beliefs about contraception, any more than about Sunday observance or the Bible. Abortion, on the other hand, is an abomination regardless of whether you are a Christian or not.
61. David
February 9, 2007
12:32 PM
This is good, but we cannot pit God’s sovereignty against our participation and responsibility. The reason I say this, is because God gives life to all babies born out of wed-lock, and to drug babies, and to alcohol syndrome babies, and to all babies that are born due to irresponsible and sin-filled choices of parents. God gives life and abortion is not an option. Nevertheless, these parents are still responsible for having these children in the contexts in which they have them. They were not passive, and neither are we when we have children. Our choice is involved, and God by his divine providence coincides with that choice. Therefore, I think we need to be careful not to argue that because God is in control, that we should not consider our responsibility in the matter of having children.
62. SH
February 14, 2007
2:38 AM
“And God blessed them; and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky, and over every living thing that moves on the earth (Genesis 1:28).’”
The first time God told mankind to be fruitful and multiply was not when speaking to Issac, rather, when speaking to Adam and Eve (!)
(This in response to the comment about God only telling Israel to be fruitful and multiply.)
>