I woke up early this morning, a long time before my alarm was set to start buzzing. I woke up with a phrase bouncing through my mind—a phrase I’ve been thinking about for a long time. Some time ago I was thinking about children who have the privilege of growing up in Christian homes but was drawn to the many I know who have fallen away from the faith. Despite the great honor given them in being raised in a family where they were taught the Christian faith, they fell away and rejected the faith of their parents. What a horrifying thought it is that these people will have to stand before God knowing that they rejected a gift of inexpressible value.
I thought about this for a little bit and then turned to the lesson I’ll be teaching tonight at our mid-week services. Aileen and I lead a class for junior high kids and are working our way through a Children Desiring God curriculum. It just so happens that this week’s lesson is one that challenges these children not to neglect the gift they’ve been given. This week’s focus statement is “Man is without excuse when God rightly withdraws His restraining grace and gives man over to his sin.” As you might expect, the key verse is from Romans (Romans 2:4 - “Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?”).
The phrase that was bouncing in my head this morning and the phrase that summarizes this lesson, at least in my mind, is this: “living on borrowed grace.” Those children who are born into Christian homes—children who from their earliest days learn stories from the Bible, who watch their parents living the Christian life and who attend church week after week—are living on borrowed grace, at least until they turn to Christ in repentance and faith. This is true of all unbelievers though in a particularly pronounced way with the children of Christians. They enjoy a grace given by the God in whom they do not believe. As Jesus tells us, God “makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust” (Matt. 5:45). Grace abounds in this world and grace abounds in a special way in the homes of those who love Him.
Those who do not love the Lord, those who do not serve Him, are living on borrowed grace. They are living in light of a grace that is not rightly theirs; they have not turned in love and faith to the One who gives such grace. They live like this grace will continue indefinitely, eternally, while in reality the clock is ticking down.
My heart longs for my children and for all of the children in my church that they would embrace the faith that is being taught to them and modeled for them. The consequences of such a rejection are terrifying. “For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened.” For those who turn away, this borrowed grace will begin to be withdrawn. God will withdraw His restraining hand and give them over to their sinful desires. Paul says as much in Romans 1:24-25: “Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.” I have seen this and you undoubtedly have, too. I have seen young men turn away from Christ, turn away from their families, turn away from the faith, and embrace lifestyles of gross immorality. That borrowed grace that had restrained sin was gradually loosened as they rejected the source of all grace.
And still they continue to live on borrowed grace. Though they have rejected the Savior, rejected the Creator, they continue to enjoy the beauty of this world and so many of the graces it contains. This is what Christ would say to them: “But because of your hard and impenitent heart you are storing up wrath for yourself on the day of wrath when God’s righteous judgment will be revealed” (Romans 2:5). A time will come when all grace will be removed. Rain will no longer fall on the just and the unjust; the sun will no longer shine on those who have rejected God. God will demand an accounting of the grace that gave them life, the grace that sustained them through life, and the grace that was freely offered to give them everlasting life. May they, in that day, be found in Him.
Comments (15) »
1. Tim Irvin
September 24, 2008
9:34 AM
Good Article. I love the idea of “Restraining Grace”. I always think of 1 Samuel 25:33-34 in this regard.
I’m not an expert in the field but isn’t the idea of “Borrowed Grace” the basic tenant of Covenant Theology?
2. Barry
September 24, 2008
10:01 AM
Hopefully you won’t lose much more sleep over this now that you have written it down. This hits home with many folks, especially me. My wife and I have tried to raise all of our six children in a Christian home. But we have a couple of children who seem to have walked away from the faith they were raised with and it breaks my heart at times. Especially when I think of the verses such as the ones you mention in the posting.
3. Travis
September 24, 2008
11:52 AM
I am a youth pastor and this is so hard to watch this happen time and again. Jr. High is when most of these things start to take place and it is frustrating watching parents hit their heads against the wall trying to keep their kids walking in the faith. It is so difficult for these parents to avoid succumbing to the pressures of keeping kids active in school and then church life as well. Neither of which guarantee much of anything except a greater opportunity to make a wise choice.
I believe in my heart it is our children and their choices that become the most difficult to rely on the Sovereignty of God. We control so much of who they are from day one the idea we don’t get to keep doing this forever is difficult to wrap the head around.
4. Emily
September 24, 2008
12:00 PM
thank you for sharing these thoughts.
i spent the first 22 years of my life living on borrowed grace, and the next 3, unaware that only by God’s grace, I was not consumed by His righteous anger. Three years ago, again, all of grace, my eyes were opened to see the beauty and depths of my Savior’s redeeming grace.
I will pray that the children that hear of God’s grace tonight will truly understand the kindness of God in grace.
Thank you for the fresh reminder of what took place when my master purchased me back as his bride from the slave block. i’m so glad He didn’t leave me with “borrowed” grace.
5. Jason
September 24, 2008
12:50 PM
Wouldn’t borrowed grace be what is referred to as common grace vs. saving grace? Common grace being grace extended to all mankind and saving grace extened to those whom God has chosen to redeem.
6. Greg
September 24, 2008
1:52 PM
Hi Tim,
Sorry to get a hold of you this way - but do you have any idea where (or if) Fireproof is playing in Ontario? Hope you are doing well.
Greg
7. donsands
September 24, 2008
2:16 PM
Hopefully these prodigals will come home after they have seen the error of their way. Some do. And hopefully the ones that hang out in the church community, and never embrace Christ will also be awakened to their self-righteousness.
Sure there will be those who are ice cold to God’s kingdom, but it’s the lukewarm church goers that the Lord shall spit out of His mouth. That’s incredible to think about as well.
Thanks for the good thoughts. We need to hear the down to earth Scripture truth, all of the counsel of God.
8. Jamie
September 24, 2008
4:15 PM
You’ve hit what I consider the conundrum of Calvinism - the “I” in TULIP is a bit problematic. I’ve pondered this and am at a loss. If these people who have grown up in Christian homes walk away from the faith, then the faith was never theirs and they die in their sins. According to scripture they were never effectually called, because if they were, they would at some point in their lives be genuinely converted. If I understand irresistible grace correctly, when the Spirit calls someone to faith, they can not reject the Spirit and are born again. The Catch-22 is, as your article points out, these individuals will be held more accountable than others who have rejected God yet they can’t come to God unless the Spirit calls them. So my question is this, is the effectual call of the Spirit truly irresistible, or does the call go out and it can be rejected due to the hardness of one’s heart? The prime Biblical example that I can see is in the OT where God continually calls Israel to repent, yet she remains in her sin. If the Spirit effectually called Israel, then they would have repented, but since they didn’t repent they died in their sins and thus the Spirit never effectually called them. I’m not sure if I’m explaining my thoughts clearly. Basically I’m wondering how can someone who grows up in a Christian home and rejects the faith of their family be held to a higher standard than someone who does not grow up in a Christian home? As I understand Scripture and the doctrine of Irresistible Grace, neither individual was ever called by the Spirit and we know that dead men can’t choose God.
Your thoughts on this would be much appreciated.
9. donsands
September 24, 2008
5:02 PM
.” I’m not sure if I’m explaining my thoughts clearly. “
Your thoughts were well written. I suppose Tim will answer, but real quick.
There’s a great mystery to election. There’s a spiritual missing link, as it were.
However, the revealed things are for us, and as far as can see, according to the Scriptures, God will have mercy on whom He will, and He will harden whom He will. One lump of clay, and yet God uses this same lump, to make two different vessels, one of honor, and another for dishonor.
We are called by God to repent, and to receive His gift of Christ, for the forgiveness of our sins. It will never happen unless He opens our hearts, and yet we are responsible if we don’t.
This is as far as the Scripture takes us.
I have called out for Christ to forgive me, even knowing that i was dead in my sins, and without hope. I am humbled by God in the fact that He owed no mercy to me.
In fact, He owes no one mercy.
What if God decided to harden all, and judge all, we would all still be guilty.
But God is merciful, and full of great love for us, His elect.
So the answer I have is that there’s no answer really. Except if you haven’t come to Christ, even knowing this, then now is the day of salvation, and today is the day to repent, and trust Christ.
I’m not speaking to you, but making a general statement for us all.
10. donsands
September 24, 2008
5:07 PM
And the other point i wanted to make is that God holds us responsible for how much we have received, and shall judge according to the knowledge of what we know, and how much we have been blessed. It’s another truth of Scripture, which our finite minds can not fathom. At least mine can’t.
But knowing this should makes us fear Him, and then love Him even more.
11. Jeri
September 24, 2008
11:55 PM
And, Jamie, I would just add that there are two kinds of calls from God…there is his general call, the grace that can be resisted, and there is His effectual call, the grace that ultimately will not be resisted. Yet those who resist and continue in rebellion are accountable and responsible for their hardness of heart. It’s hard for us to understand; donsands did a good job talking about God’s counsels being his own, and that Scripture only tells us so much. God’s call to the nation of Israel was that general call to repent. The Lamb was slain from the foundation of the world; Israel’s rejection of God and of his Messiah were part of his plan of redemption.
I think that’s said right, but maybe someone else can add something helpful.
12. Armen
September 24, 2008
11:59 PM
Jamie,
Men love darkness, rather than light. That’s why the wrath of God abides upon them. Youth who are brought up in Christian still sinned in Adam (Rom 5:12) and love sin in spite of the privileges. What God does for his elect people, is overcome the bent will and desire to love darkness, and bring them to a point of willing repentance toward God, and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ (Acts 20:21).
Truly, it is a mystery, but praise God it is true!
As for the article, I’m reminded of reading something of A.W. Pink (can’t remember which book) where he mentioned that the common mercies which all creation experience (e.g. rain), were blessings to God’s people, but curses to the ungodly.
13. Anon
September 25, 2008
8:26 AM
Tim - does grace run in genes? (And no I’m not a hypercalvinist.) Seriously - do we need to ‘stress out’ like some Arminian - is God sovereign or not? If He is not sovereign then salvation of anybody - including so called ‘covenant children’ - becomes that of works? Do you believe in the perseverance of the saints? Do you really believe in election? If someone - including our very children rejects the grace of god (and all do, except by being born again … even if they do not experience the birth but just grew into loving Christ, as have some of my own children… we don’t necessarily see any great ‘conversion’ experience..) - were they not destined for destruction and death - and were they not willing partakers of rejecting God (as are all men)….? Are children of believers somehow regenerate and then lose their lives because of their rejection of Christ? Do they lose their regeneration? Does faith even come via baptism (as the Anglican church - in Australia - teaches), and then somehow faith is lost? I grew up and have been taught paedobaptistic covenant theology (in a reformed Presbyterian church) for a long time … but found it - ie ‘covenant theology’ as it stands for children - wanting…. I ask you again - does grace run in genes? To me the phrase “Borrowed grace” is nonsense in as much as that common grace (creation and the works of God manifest to all) is available to all - yet man and children reject God. Only saving grace is a gift …. true saving grace is only as God gives it - irresistibly, to His own … Is it not Limited, unconditional, and does He not preserve those whom He gives faith by His effectual grace? So what is this thing called “restraining grace”? Is it not a man made doctrine? Grace does not run in genes - otherwise all so called ‘covenant’ children will be saved and the church would be growing exponentially…
14. Stefan
September 25, 2008
5:32 PM
We are all non-believers—unregenerate, dead in our trespasses—before we come to the Cross of Christ in repentance. It doesn’t matter whether we grew up in Christian homes or not. Consider Samuel’s sons, who inherited no blessing from God simply because their father was a prophet.
If a child walks away from the Christian home he grew up in, he is not walking away from a faith he never had (unless he had already made a credible confession of faith and showed the fruits of the Spirit). But conversely, even if a child grows up in a Christian home and doesn’t turn his back on the faith of his parents, he is still without redemption until he repents for his sins (among which might be sin of righteousness, in his case) and entrusts his life to Jesus Christ.
And the GOOD NEWS is that there’s still hope in either case! God still promises forgiveness of sins, salvation, and eternal life for all those who repent and call on His name—whether they have never left the family home, or have spent a life in prodigal debachery. Christ’s blood and imputed righteousness alone—applied directly to us, not transmitted through our parents—are what make us right with God.
15. wireshaper
October 1, 2008
1:12 AM
Thank you for this post, I could feel the passion you were writing with. I have felt this urgency when working with kids, wanting them to understand that they need to accept God themselves. I was also in a place in my own walk with God where I needed to read Romans 2:4