King for a Week is an honor I bestow on blogs that I feel are making a valuable contribution to my faith and the faith of other believers. Every week (or so) I select a blog, link to it from my site, and add that site’s most recent headlines to my left sidebar. While this is really not much, I do feel that it allows me to encourage and support other bloggers while making my readers aware of other good sites.
This week’s King for a Week is Married Life, a blog ministry of Covenant Life Church in Gaithersburg, Maryland. The site features four authors who “hope that through this blog you will encounter a wealth of theologically informed, practical ideas designed to make an immediate difference, ultimately an eternal difference, in your marriage and family.” Most weeks they feature “Romantical Mondays: Starting our Week off Right!,” “Thursday’s Thoughts for Parents,” and “Miscellaneous, but Meaningful, Stuff on Marriage.” There is much wisdom to glean from these men and I’d encourage any married person to read it.
In the coming days you will be able to see the most recent headlines from this blog in the sidebar of my site. I hope you will make your way over the site and look around.
I continue to accept nominations for King of the Week. If you have a site you would like to nominate, feel free to do so by clicking on the “suggest” button below the King of the Week box. Thanks to those of you who nominated this week’s honoree.
Comments (17) »
1. Alex Chediak
July 13, 2006
10:29 AM
Good choice, Tim!
2. Irish Calvinist
July 13, 2006
10:46 AM
Tim,
Good job promoting Married Life. I have really enjoyed the blog as they have been a great encouragement to me as well and I’m sure many will appreciate the faithful work by those over at Covenant Life.
Erik
3. Paul Martin
July 13, 2006
12:45 PM
“Every week (or so) I select a blog…”
That ought to keep Marc off your back!
4. Tim Challies
July 13, 2006
2:08 PM
“That ought to keep Marc off your back!”
I’m hoping so. Frankly, I’m surprised that Centuri0n hasn’t shown up yet and demanded another couple of weeks!
5. s. zeilenga
July 13, 2006
2:37 PM
Hmmm… I don’t see much of anything on breastfeeding though.
Ha ha…
z.
6. chris
July 13, 2006
3:32 PM
I am looking for help from my “calvinistic” brothers since the topic is marriage. Both my wife and I have been married for 16 years and were members of a Baptist church since our marriage began. We were raised and taught the doctrines of “freewill” and really had not experienced anything else. We were literal impotent to such doctrines as regeneration, salvation, election, depravity of man ect.
But for the past few years God has placed such a burden on my heart and I searched and read and only one thing made sense. And that was the Sovereignty of God and that lead me to the doctrines that such notable authors taught as Pink, Spurgeon, Owens, Luther, Edwards, ect.
The problem is it has totally destroyed my marriage. My wife loaths my new beliefs so much so that it has ripped a wedge so deep that I feel may not be reconcilable. I was wondering if anyone else has experienced what I am going through and what they did to recover. God Bless you all.
7. Dallas Pymm
July 13, 2006
4:30 PM
I am sorry for your pain right now Chris. I can probably offer very little, but I went through something not as serious with my wife. We both got married with an Arminian like perspective on salvation, and the Lord opened my eyes to His sovereignty shortly after we were married. She cried when she found out because we no longer believed the same thing. I prayed for her a lot, and for our marriage. We were looking for a new church and my wife agreed to attend a reformed Baptist church with me and we both loved it. We are now members and she has since had her heart opened to God’s sovereignty in salvation as well, and we are closer than ever. All I can say is pray like crazy. I will keep you in my prayers regarding this. It sounds like your conflict is greater than mine was, but I hope it may have been encouraging to hear that you are not alone in this situation and God has healed my marriage and glorified Him through it because of that struggle. God bless you.
Dallas
8. chris
July 13, 2006
5:49 PM
Dallas,
Thanks for your email and it does help. I am not trying to bash on my wife because my faults are so many they couldn’t be counted. But I am trying to find out a solution from others who have lived this and hopefully share their experiences. I appreciate your support and prayers. I only wish I could get my wife to visit a reformed baptist church! The only way that could happen is if she wasn’t breathing. It is far more worse than that. I get called a heretic on a daily basis and just the other day monergism.com sent me a shirt as a gift and my wife would not allow me to where the shirt. Thats how bad it has gotten. But I will pray that God will open her eyes because I want unity so badly with my wife. Thanks again.
9. Dallas Pymm
July 13, 2006
6:06 PM
Chris,
I hear you brother. My wife’s family has given me a hard time. Telling me I believe in a doctrine from demons and all. Our marriage small group has been very good, but you can tell they think I am whacked out. They would never say so and love me to death, but It seems they don’t understand why I believe this even though it is plain in scripture. Our finding our new church was quite different. We had been looking for a church and my friend invited me to his. We only went to visit with him because he had no one else his age at it. It is very small. Well….we loved it. This really helped because she got to see the passion that reformed people have for God and I think it was a primary way God softened her heart to this other than His word. Keep praying brother. Also, it might help to find a like minded brother to meet with and pour your heart to him as well. That helped me as well. I was blessed to have many people praying for this.
On a more important note :o) how did you get that shirt for free! :o)
Dallas
10. GWilly
July 13, 2006
6:21 PM
Chris,
I’m really sorry for the trial you are undergoing.
I think a couple of Southern Baptists girls may have dumped me because of my reformed beliefs. That was in junior high. I would have had a really good relationship with a Disciples of Christ girl, but neither of us could convert the other. Having a wife who is likeminded is a blessing I should never take for granted. Thanks for reminding me of that. I pray you have peace in your household soon.
11. Chris
July 13, 2006
8:47 PM
Dallas and Willy,
Thanks for the support. Dallas I don’t know why John Hendryx sent me a t-shirt. I think it was because I sent them a check a few months ago as a love offering. But the t-shirt is probably in the garbage by now.
12. Jerry Morningstar
July 13, 2006
10:55 PM
Chris - I might add a couple of thoughts to your dillemma. I think you and your wife both need to try and downplay your doctrinal differences for the sake of your marriage. You both are Christians. While - this certainly can be a contentious issue - it’s not like you’re married to a muslim or a Catholic. I would encourage you to pray over this matter and ask the Lord if there is anything you are doing to make the situation more contentious. I think keeping a marriage together is more important than being a vocal Calvinist. [Receiving a monergism t-shirt is a little vocal] Pray for your wife - she may come around with the right touch and attitude. If not - God still calls you to live together with her in an understanding manner [ I Pet. 3:7]. Pray for spiritual growth - the severity of the division could be a reflection of a bigger issue of power struggle in the marriage. Focus on growing in the departments of loving and respecting each other - and that will only help. You can and must respect each other - even if you disagree and disrespect the others’ particular doctrine. Our wives are called to follow - but we are called to love [Eph. 5:25]. Make sure you are holding up your end of the marriage and pray to God that she follows your lead. Your situation is far from hopeless - God has done bigger miracles. I hope and pray things go better for you.
In Christ
13. BlackCalvinist
July 13, 2006
11:02 PM
Hey Dallas,
I’m not married, but I’ve seen this convo play out repeatedly. Every man I’ve come across who’s been through this has said that the key is to be loving and patient with your wife. It may take a while (years), it may go by quickly, but she’s the Lord’s just as you are and He’ll work on her heart and bring her around as long as you keep GENTLY sharing time in the Word together.
I’ll pray for you and your wife. I hate to see any couple have division.
14. chris
July 14, 2006
7:07 AM
Jerry,
Great advise. I do need to be more loving and have been praying for some time. Its a weird thing though. I have never been so close to God. So much that I fell his presence. And yet be so far away from my wife. The humanly side tells me that the closer I get to God the closer I should get towards my marriage but sometimes God doesn’t work like that. God bless you and thanks.
15. dvdf
July 14, 2006
8:37 AM
Chris,
I have been going through what seems to be the exact same thing as you, I am called a fanatic by my wife, I was wondering if you have gotten to the point of feeling like there is little hope of reconciling. I continue to pray daily, I have gone through times recently where I thought nobody could understand, and just when I think there is no hope at all God says gently and lovingly “my grace is sufficiant for you”. Brother, I will pray for both of us daily please keep me updated, it is a real encouragement to know that I am not alone..
fanatic (her nickname for me)
16. april
July 14, 2006
9:35 AM
As a wife who is reformed to a (reforming?) husband, I have a different perspective. My part is easier, because I don’t have to lead, just submit! But we are attending a non-reformed church and I have struggled with this for years. I would LOVE to attend a church more in line with my theology, but my husband believes we are not released to leave.
As a reformed person among arminians, I view myself as a sort of missionary to the confused (JK!). While they may think I’m off my rocker theologically, they get to see someone who loves God (likes them), seeks to serve (like them) and is growing in her faith (like them.) Sometimes they even say something outrageous like “you know, that’s a very good point.” It also helps me to continually search scripture so that I truly understand and know what I say I believer. So maybe God has placed you in your church for reasons you don’t yet understand.
I will pray for you and your wife. And, for what it’s worth, she’s probably scared more than anything.
17. Fernando Caballero
July 14, 2006
11:07 PM
I am married and I looked forward to reading the King For A Week - Married Life website. I was some what turned off by their short sighted view of the words “Judge Not”.
There is plenty of confusion and misunderstanding about judging others as well as one self that the site does not positively add to the discussion on the subject.
Just to mention one verse quoted: ?For I did not come to judge the world, but to save it.? John 12:47
That is true Jesus did not come to judge the first time around but non-believers will have to watch for His Second Coming. I don’t think he is going to be saying that he did not coming to judge anyone the second time around…