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Selfish Prayer
- 01/22/07
- 38
This is probably another one of those articles that discusses something everyone else already knows and has already thought about, but for which I am a bit late to the party. I’m not necessarily the sharpest knife in the drawer and sometimes you need to give me a little extra time to figure these things out. So bear with me. A little while ago, as I was sitting around waiting for something exciting to happen, I began thinking about the phrase “selfish prayer.” I’m not quite sure why, but the phrase just struck me as one that would be worth thinking about. And so I did. It turns out that it was well worth pondering.
As I first considered “selfish prayer” I thought about the obvious applications for it: prayers that revolve around me—my needs, my wants, my desires and my dreams. I pray selfishly when I focus primarily on what I want from God rather than what He wants for me. And I pray selfishly when I focus on what I want at the expense of what others may want or need. Though we read a good deal about prayer in the Bible, we still do not really know how it works. We know that God hears the prayers of those who are His children and that He sometimes chooses to answer prayer and sometimes chooses not to. We know that he warns against prayers that are offered in a spirit of pride, of prayers that are offered in a spirit of selfishness, and against prayers that are offered as testimonies to my own goodness rather than to God’s grace. Ultimately, we know that prayer is part of the secret counsel of God and much about it is hidden to us.
But these are things I have considered before. I have often thought of the strange fact that, during many of the wars that have raged in days past, men on both sides of the conflict have prayed to God for protection and victory. Perhaps the American Civil War was the most notable of these for there were God-fearing men, men who are known for their godliness and desire to honor and serve God, each trying to defeat the other and each pleading for God’s assistance in doing so. Why God ultimately chose to answer the prayers of Abraham Lincoln rather than those of Robert E. Lee is something we do not know. Somehow it served God’s purposes. These are difficult issues, but issues I’ve thought about and wrestled with in the past.
As I continued to consider selfish prayer I was struck with my own lethargy in prayer. I was struck by the fact that so often I am simply too lazy, too tired, too distracted to pray at all or at least to pray as I should. And this comes on the heels of witnessing some amazing answers to prayer and hearing testimonies about God’s goodness through prayer. Just yesterday our pastor hinted at some amazing things that are unfolding in and around our church and remarked “and this comes just after our church’s week of prayer.” Just this morning Dr. Mohler published an article in which he reflected on his time being critically ill. A lesson he learned in this crisis was the value of the blessing of friends and the reality of the Church. He was ministered to by members of his local church as well as believers he has never met. “Their concern was a great encouragement” he writes, “and their prayers were incredible gifts.”
This just confirmed what I had been thinking about yesterday. Prayer is not just something I do for myself. Prayer is not something I do even primarily for myself. Rather, prayer is something I do for God. My focus in prayer is not to be on me, but on God. My focus is not to be on what is important to me, but what is important to God. It may be, and should be, that these are one and the same. I do hope that I am captivated and stirred by what is of importance to God. Somehow, along this journey of life, and despite reading some very good books on the subject, I have adopted a selfish view of prayer that places me at the middle of the prayer. Instead of focusing on God and His will, my prayers have far too often focused on myself and my will. This has led to far too many prayers that go barely beyond myself.
A while back I read John Piper’s description of how he prays and it struck me that I pray in much the same way. He speaks of praying in concentric circles, beginning with himself, moving to his family and then his church and then growing ever-wider to communities, nations and the world. I love this method, but have realized how often I expend a great deal of time in that small circle in the middle. I put less time into the next circle and may just stop there. Maybe on a good day I move a little bit further. But sooner or later my prayers peter out and I see that I’ve given a lot more time to myself than to the rest of the world combined. This is selfish; it’s selfish prayer. In my laziness and in my selfishness I have denied others prayer that is rightfully theirs. In forgetting to pray for my community, I have robbed them of prayers I ought to have provided for them. Who else will pray for these people if I do not? Who knows the opportunities that have been lost because I have not been faithfully praying for them. In forgetting to pray for my friends, I have robbed them of prayer that should be an expression of my love for them. And who knows what pain may have been avoided and what trials they may not have faced if only I had been faithfully praying for them. As I move from the small circles to the large I see just how selfish my prayers have been.
So what is selfish prayer? It seems to me that perhaps the most selfish prayer of all is the prayer that is never uttered. It is the prayer that focuses on me and never reaches to others who are so desperately in need of God’s grace.
I am a follower of Jesus Christ, a husband to Aileen and a father to three young children. I worship and serve as a pastor at 
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Comments (38)
I was reminded of this paragraph from “Demand #13” in Piper’s “What Jesus Demands from the World”.
“There is no uncertainty about the triumph of God. Nevertheless, in God’s providence it depends on human prayer. This implies that prayer is not only a duty of man but a gift of God. Jesus will awaken in his people the spirit of prayer that aks for everything it will take to accomplish God’s purposes in the world. The prayers of Jesus’ followers and the purposes of God will not fail.”
As a result, the last few days I have begun my time of prayer this way…”Father, awaken in me the spirit of prayer that asks for everything it will take to accomplish your purposes in my life, the life of my family, the life of my church and the world.”
I know there are a lot of “my’s” but I think they are qualified by his purposes.
Am I wrong, or do I remain selfish? Should I start with the world and work backwards?
Good thought-provoking post. It’s always good to know others are asking the same questions or struggling with the same issues.
Consider prayer as your child asking for something. Most of the time it revolves around himself/herself. Dad, can I have a pony, an Xbox, and motorcycle. If they persist, you sometimes give in.
But when your little child looks beyond his or her own needs and asks you to help others, or asks to spend time with you or go fishing, doesn’t it simply warm your heart?
God does give good gifts, but as we grow, we look at others and at God with increased love and our prayers follow our heart. Read pauls prayers for the churches and for himself. His prayers were focused on increased love, grace, and peace.
D,
Your comment is so right on. Tim, thanks for a great article.
D, thank you for giving that article complete relevence in three short paragraphs.
Alex
>>>Why God ultimately chose to answer the prayers of Abraham Lincoln rather than those of Robert E. Lee is something we do not know. Somehow it served God’s purposes.takes sides in war or violence makes me a little uneasy. I think it would be more accurate to say that if God takes sides, it’s almost always the side against our actions.
Just because one may be blessed by God, or in a relationship with God doesn’t necessarily mean He condones one’s actions. Did it serve God’s purpose for the U.S. to kill 140,000 citizens of Hiroshima?
Still, I found some thought and prayer provoking insight from your post. Thanks!
“…prayer is something I do for God.”
That statement doesn’t ring true to me… I can’t conceive of anything I can do for God. He is in need of nothing. The Piper quote that Chris gives in the first comment seems more accurate to me… “This implies that prayer is not only a duty of man but a gift of God.” Prayer is a gift of God for us. Piper uses a very helpful acronym for prayer… IOUS Piper:
“Ask God to give us an *inclination* to his Word and not to money or fame or power (Psalm 119:36), and to *open* our eyes to see wonderful things when we read his Word (Psalm 119:18), and to have hearts *united* in the fear of God rather than fragmented over a dozen concerns (Psalm 86:11), and to be *satisfied* in his steadfast love (Psalm 90:14). (This is the IOUS acronym I use almost every day in praying for those I love.)” Emphasis added
Found here:
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee/ByDate/2005/1287_How_to_Pray_for_the_Pastoral_Staff/
I have used Piper’s IOUS for about a year now. I think it is best to start with me and work outward through the concentric circles because IOUS keeps the prayer from being selfish. If God grants me the grace I am requesting in this type prayer, then He transforms me into the image of Christ. To be and live like Christ is anything but selfish.
In regard to the concentric circle notion, might it be more helpful to, as Chris inquired above, start with the world, and work backwards toward ourselves? That way, when it comes time to pray for yourself, you’re more able to see your own wants and needs in the broader context of God’s purposes for all His creation, which would in turn lessen our propensity to utter self-motivated prayers.
i.e. - 1) God, establish your purposes in the world; send your Word to all the nations and let your name be magnified in all the earth. 2) Let your light shine in my city, and let my church be a beacon of hope and love in a culture of darkness and depravity. 3) Be present with my family and allow them the grace to grow in grace and become more like Christ. 4) And for myself,….
I think following a pattern of prayer like that, praying for a raise at work or a new car or some other personal desire will stand out to us as self-motivated and not God-centered.
Thoughts?
Kyle
Good thoughts … I have always remembered something I heard about prayer—that it’s purpose is to bring us into alignment with what God wants for us, not necessary to bring us what we want.
I struggle with having a regular prayer-time, nonetheless.
I am selfish at heart. Thus, if I am sincere and authentic before God, my prayers will be selfish.
If I try not to be selfish, it is merely putting on a mask of spiritual artiface before God.
So there is a dilemma:Am I to be authentic yet selfish? Or insincerely pious?
Something tells me that God prefers me to be authentic.
Hi Tim
Interestingly enough, I wrote aboutt his a few months ago :)
http://warrenmyers.com/permlink.php?entry=20060703020332
WMM
Not sure if it’s truely selfish or not … but I often find myself praying for extended periods of time and never once mentioning anyone other than myself. Presumably, it’s not selfish as I’m confessing sin or begging for God’s direction and help. However, it feels very selfish as I can’t seem to get over myself long enough to actually take someone else before God in prayer. For my money, it’s a little frustrating.
Focusing more on the aspect of praise during prayer times may help divert attention away from self. I haven’t read much here in the way of praise, only about prayer for others (you & yours) vs. prayer for self (me & mine).
Is it possible that a primary focus on praise may divert attention away from self and toward other situations & needs that need supplication to the glory of God?
Just a thought.
“I am selfish at heart. Thus, if I am sincere and authentic before God, my prayers will be selfish. If I try not to be selfish, it is merely putting on a mask of spiritual artiface before God. So there is a dilemma: Am I to be authentic yet selfish? Or insincerely pious? Something tells me that God prefers me to be authentic.”
A true Christian, at the core of who he/she is, isn’t selfish. They old man is dead and they are alive to God (Romans 6). They are a new creation (2 Co 5:17) with a new heart (Eze 36:26) and are created in true righteousness and holiness of truth (Eph 4:24). Anytime a Christian is being “who he really is” he is all out for God! The problem is that we “let sin reign in our mortal bodies”. We need to simply become what we are.
Blessings
There are many things that could be said; I’ll limit myself to a few. My fear is that my words will sound acrimonious. Well, whatever.
1. Meaning no disrespect to Tim, Piper (and his IOUS), or anyone else who has put forth a step-program for prayer, but I thought Jesus had a pretty good model in the prayer he taught the disciples (the so-called “Lord’s Prayer,” although he never prayed it or needed to). It’s basically (a) pray for God’s will and glory, and (b) pray for our needs, i.e., “us,” i.e., the community or body of which I am a member (locally or universally). Seemed adequate to me.
2. As others have noted, prayer is not something I do for God.
3. “Who else will pray for these people if I do not? Who knows the opportunities that have been lost because I have not been faithfully praying for them. [sic]” - Tim Challies
“I have been very zealous for the LORD, the God of hosts; for the sons of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars and killed Your prophets with the sword. And I alone am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.” - Elijah the Tishbite
Somehow I doubt that God’s hands are tied and his will thwarted because you, I, or anyone else fails to pray as we should. I am somewhat surprised that a Calvinist would forget that.
The naked truth is that neither you nor I are that important: God does not require me to do something before he is able to accomplish his will.
Thanks for sharing the heartfelt words. Good exhortation.Paul said, “Therefore we do not lose heart. … while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen.” 2 Cor. 4:16-18
Jesus gave a parable to us, “that men always ought to pray and not lose heart”. Luke 18:1-8 (This is dealing with praying for His return, but it surely can apply to our whole prayer life as well, I would think).
I do tend to lose heart, because I look at the way things are, and feel like it doesn’t really make a difference if I pray, and also because my prayers seem to be too selfish.
Reading the Word of God before praying is helpful for me.But I do struggle with praying “amiss” even still. I pray that I would continue to become better at praying.
I have a friend and pastor who loves to pray an hour or two every morning. He’s amazing, and he never boasts about it, but humbly encourages others in the love and grace of Christ
“There are many things that could be said; I’ll limit myself to a few. My fear is that my words will sound acrimonious. Well, whatever.
1. Meaning no disrespect to Tim, Piper (and his IOUS), or anyone else who has put forth a step-program for prayer, but I thought Jesus had a pretty good model in the prayer he taught the disciples (the so-called “Lord’s Prayer,” although he never prayed it or needed to). It’s basically (a) pray for God’s will and glory, and (b) pray for our needs, i.e., “us,” i.e., the community or body of which I am a member (locally or universally). Seemed adequate to me.
2. As others have noted, prayer is not something I do for God.
3. “Who else will pray for these people if I do not? Who knows the opportunities that have been lost because I have not been faithfully praying for them. [sic]” - Tim Challies
“I have been very zealous for the LORD, the God of hosts; for the sons of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars and killed Your prophets with the sword. And I alone am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.” - Elijah the Tishbite
Somehow I doubt that God’s hands are tied and his will thwarted because you, I, or anyone else fails to pray as we should. I am somewhat surprised that a Calvinist would forget that.
The naked truth is that neither you nor I are that important: God does not require me to do something before he is able to accomplish his will.”
…I’ll bet you don’t pray very much : )
John Lee said in comment # 8:”I am selfish at heart. Thus, if I am sincere and authentic before God, my prayers will be selfish.”
Thank you!!! I stand corrected in part of my earlier comment above. What John Lee said is true and reminds me of…please indulge another Piper quote:
“Does seeking your own happiness sound self-centered? Aren’t Christians supposed to seek God, not their own pleasure? To answer this question we need to understand a crucial truth about pleasure-seeking (hedonism): we value most what we delight in most. Pleasure is not God’s competitor, idols are. Pleasure is simply a gauge that measures how valuable someone or something is to us. Pleasure is the measure of our treasure.
We know this intuitively. If a friend says to you, “I really enjoy being with you,” you wouldn’t accuse him of being self-centered. Why? Because your friend’s delight in you is the evidence that you have great value in his heart. In fact, you’d be dishonored if he didn’t experience any pleasure in your friendship. The same is true of God. If God is the source of our greatest delight then God is our most precious treasure; which makes us radically God-centered and not self-centered. And if we treasure God most, we glorify Him most.”
Found here
http://www.desiringgod.org/AboutUs/OurDistinctives/ChristianHedonism/
Aires:
You comment is a non sequitur: my attempt to emphasize some things is independent of the frequency of my prayers. Your ad hominem attack (which is also independent of how much you pray) seems to indicate that you cannot refute what I have said so you have attacked me.
Is this “shoot-the-messenger” approach typical? I hope not, since enables us to ignore what someone else says.
: ) just wanted to give you a chance to use your latin.
I was joking about the latin : )
…my real reason for replying is that I have noticed that many times Calvinistic brothers and sisters (of which I am) tend to be very rigid about these things…
Tim said:3. “Who else will pray for these people if I do not? Who knows the opportunities that have been lost because I have not been faithfully praying for them. [sic]” - Tim Challies
You said:Somehow I doubt that God’s hands are tied and his will thwarted because you, I, or anyone else fails to pray as we should. I am somewhat surprised that a Calvinist would forget that. The naked truth is that neither you nor I are that important: God does not require me to do something before he is able to accomplish his will.
Neither you are I are that important? Yes, God controls all things. There is not a maverick molecule in the universe. However, I think all Tim was saying is that prayer changes things and it could very well be that “we have not because we ask not”.
Pax: )
Good post Tim. I think your comment about robbing others of prayer has biblical warrant. It reminds me of Samuel’s speech to the Israelites: ‘Moreover as for me - far be it from me that i should sin against he Lord by ceasing to pray for you; but I will instruct you in the good and right way.’ [I Samuel 12:23]
“Somehow I doubt that God’s hands are tied and his will thwarted because you, I, or anyone else fails to pray as we should. I am somewhat surprised that a Calvinist would forget that.”
You are reading too much into what I wrote. God’s hands are not tied and his will is not thwarted. Yet His will and our prayers are clearly tied together so that if we do not pray certain things may not happen. We don’t understand how this works, but the Bible makes it clear.
Tim:
I honestly don’t see how I am reading too much into your post, given that you refer to “the opportunities that have been lost” due to your failure to pray at some occasions. Is anything lost aside from your own rewards? I don’t think so, nor do I think that the context supports you making reference to yourself. For that matter, I don’t think you have robbed anyone else of anything: others do not benefit from your or my prayers but from God’s activity in their lives.
If you say that you are being hyperbolic with the statements about loss, I think it would be equally clear that my own statement regarding your Calvinism would be very tongue-in-cheek. I would not think you capable of forgetting God’s sovereignty any more than of denying the five solas.
As you know far better than I, there are no lack of people who read your posts and would be neurotically driven to pray to the neglect of other responsibilities - and even then self-flagellating for having failed to pray more. The question is not, “Have I prayed as much as I could?” but “Have I prayed enough?” “Enough” depends on many things.
My third point was meant only as a corrective, not an aspersion. Sorry if it appeared to be the latter.
“…others do not benefit from your or my prayers but from God’s activity in their lives.”
Philippians 1:18-19 “Yes, and I will rejoice, for I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayers and the provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ.”
…I don’t think it is wrong to use the language Tim is using.
II Cor. 1:11 - ‘you also joining in helping us thru your prayers, that thanks may be given by many persons on our behalf for the favor bestowed upon us thru the prayers of many’
James 5:16 - ‘The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.’
To say that others do not in some way benefit by our prayers for them - is to take the force out of exhortations to pray for others and to make nonsense out of the passages that say people do benefit from prayer offered on their behalf.
We have to believe in some form of compatibilism when it comes to this issue. God is sovereign - but our prayers count. Both truths are equally taught in Scripture and to be believed. To emphasize one truth while rejecting the other leads either to a form of hyper calvinism on one hand or to a weak and powerless deity who hardly draws our respect on the other
If prayer meant nothing, Paul sure wasted a ton of time.
And what’s then the use of praying without ceasing?
What’s the point of Jesus’ parable about the person who persistently knocks at his neighbor’s door?
And what was all that talk from Christ about asking, seeking, and knocking?
I guess it was much ado about nothing.for
Hey, someone want to alert the Holy Spirit to stop praying for us…it really doesn’t have any effect in the end…and while you’re at it…tell Jesus to stop interceding for us also…He’s apparently wasting His time…as the Father is gonna do whatever He’s gonna do anyhow.
Sorry for the sarcasm…it just gets under my skin when someone questions the fruitfulness of prayer.
Tim said “Yet His will and our prayers are clearly tied together so that if we do not pray certain things may not happen. We don’t understand how this works, but the Bible makes it clear.”
This is truly a mystery…. yet if “certain things did not happen” if we do not pray, does this mean that somehow God’s sovereign choice is somehow negated or altered? (I writing as one who holds to the ‘doctrines of grace’). Somehow, somewhere as we pray we come alive to sometimes see the sovereignty of God in action and it draws us deeper to God… we are now walking with Him in the garden so to speak, listening to His voice and living in His grace. Do we actually change God’s mind? or are we seeing more clearly the outworking of His mind? (Perhaps certainly both - but what prayer with watching results in, is greater communion with the Father).
Excellent blog, and so very applicable, especially in our western society, where everywhere we turn, we are bludgeoned by signs and slogans telling us we don’t measure up. It’s no lie that our capitalistic economy relies on demand meeting, if not greatly exceeding supply, and the only way for the corporations to ensure that that mentality stays afloat is to slam us with a barrage of messages indicating that if we *just had the one thing* we’d be okay.
Considering this, it’s no wonder that our prayer lives are so self-centered. I cringe to think that this is a problem only for Christians in the most developed nations.
Sometimes I wonder what the poor nations think of us.
Brian-with-a-lamb’s-voice:
Somehow apologizing for sarcasm rings hollow when you deliberately and with “malice aforethought” go ahead and post it anyway. This is obviously the case since you left the apology prior to publishing the comment: if you truly were sorry, you would have changed the comment beforehand. Perhaps you don’t believe that sincerity really is important: that is the clear message of your comment anyway.
If I were of a mind to reciprocate in kind, I could say that I think you made your case as well as you possibly could. Take this statement, for example: “I guess it was much ado about nothing.for.” But that would be a cheap shot and sarcastic itself, and since the latter is often just a thin, translucent veil over an angry, troubled heart, I won’t indulge my flesh - at least this time.
But it would seem that there’s more under your skin than you know. You might want to see a spiritual dermatologist or internist or someone.
All:
For the record (although I cannot imagine anyone is actually recording this), I am not saying prayer is either unfruitful or a waste of time; I am saying that to emphasize one side (the human responsibility) and to neglect the other (God’s sovereignty) is a half-truth - not that Tim is or would try to mislead deliberately. He is, I think, a person of integrity.
Prayer is in the same category of antithetical notions as salvation: a work of God? of man? a joint effort? All seem to be indicated but, to our finite minds, appear mutually exclusive. Because this is is the case, it is necessary to treat both sides if we are to present an accurate depiction of truth.
My apologies - really - if I have offended the sensibilities of any groupies or bobble heads who hang on Tim’s every word and defend him more vociferously than he does himself. (I do not believe I have given offense but certainly some may have taken offense. I am not responsible for the latter.) But if I have made anyone think, if I have “disturbed the comfortable,” then it has been profitable and even edifying. Whether anyone likes it or not. Being spiritually comfortable is akin to being spiritually dead (“comfortable” here being a reference to growth, not peace with God).
This kind of interaction to me really is one of the all too typical, and sad things about the Christian blogosphere.
Brothers, even if we feel misrepresented or even attacked, let us always seek to live out the gospel with each other - to have the mind of him who was misrepresented, mocked, attacked and killed in our stead.
Romans 12:17-21 “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Those words are primarily meant for us as an exhortation to live out the message and power of the gospel in a hostile world. If that is the grace we are to extend to our persecutors, how much more should we show to our brothers and sisters in Christ?
It is rather sad to see this kind of blogging. As I was reading Tim’s post I read the very things that many are ranting over and thought to myself, “someone is going to read this and leave some hard core rebukes concerning the sovereignty of God.” We Calvinist’s live in persistent fear that if we take things like prayer or gospel preaching seriously that we’ll leave the sovereignty of God wanting. Tim…I know you’re a Calvinist, who loves the sovereignty of God as I. Thank you for taking your prayer for others seriously!!!! It seems that you are less afraid of SOUNDING like you don’t take the sovereignty of God seriously than not praying for others fervently!
To get beyond that issue, I will say this: prayer is learned and learned through much time and practice.
I remember the first time I read George Mueller’s autobiography and was amazed to read that he would be praying all night long without realizing it! That seemed so foreign to me as I labored to remain in personal prayer longer than 10minutes without feeling awkward or tired. To pray for extended periods of time, time enough to pray through the concentric circles takes much discipline and practice.
Not only is praying the amount of time we need to be in prayer the result of discipline, but also praying the way we should is a matter of discipline as well. I sat with a list of subjects before me for a long time. The list would look like this:
1. Praise - pray through a Psalm2. Repentance - including giving time for the Holy Spirit to reveal sin in my heart3. My own heart, needs, and concerns4. My wife and children5. My home needs6. My Church family - pray through a section of our Church roles7. Missionaries and other Churches I am close with8. Lost people I know need saved9. Cultural Issues10. Awakening in the Church
After disciplining myself to pray for these things daily for over a year I no longer need the list. At first it felt litugical (which I hate), silly, scripted, unnatural, etc… But, I realized that the very thing that kept me from praying this way was in fact my own selfish and lazy heart.
As with all sinful tendency’s we must discipline ourselves, as Paul put it, ‘beat our bodies into submission.’ I am not submitted as I should be yet and thus this is not a boasting session for me. But, I can say that I have experienced much fruit from engaging some riggorous discipline in this area. Praise God it is not only fruit in the sense that I am more faithful, but fruit in the sense that many of my prayers have been answered in a visible manner to my joy!
This is a long post and thus I will end it by simply saying this: Prayer is the manifestation of our dependence upon God, the measure of our prayers is directly proportional to the degree of dependence we actually have upon Christ! This may be why Paul uses the term “unceasing!”
Tim, I too have considered prayer. Often. And unfortunately, mine are often selfish as well. I did something, which for me, was something I needed to do. I made a promise to God that for six months, I would ask nothing for myself. I could ask for strength, or insight, or things of a spiritual nature…but no matter how bad things were, no matter how much I wanted to…I would ask for nothing that had anything to do with this world, outside of my spiritual needs.
For me it was an enlightening and growth time. My prayers changed dramatically. My relationship with God grew. I found it amazing how much there was to pray about, when I couldn’t be included. It also held up a rather ugly mirror of my prayer life, prior to my promise. It is a worthy promise to make and one I encourage others to do. But bear in mind, God does not…I repeat…does not…take this kind of thing lightly. Think long and hard before you make such a commitment.
On a second note. You may consider that in our prayers, we are revealing to God nothing He does not already know. Our requests and needs and wants are already displayed before Him. Prayer is not for Him, but rather a willingness on our part to humble ourselves and with an open mouth and a broken heart, express to God our frailties and the things of this life we need.
As you look at your children; and take care of their needs for years on end…you reach a point in their lives where they are grown. Your rules and requirements and teachings are a part of who they are. But as a parent with grown kids…do you want them to constantly come to you with the same ole kid needs and force you to make the decisions of life for them…or would you rather talk to them, hear from them their triumphs, and successes; to hear about their adult difficulties and in a mature way discuss things? To talk to them about life, and the tasks before them? This is what God seeks in prayer. The willingness of His children to come to Him with their lives and share it with Him.
Finrod - thanks for your further explanation.
The only reason I jumped in here is that your comments implied that Challies’ Calvinism was deficient. Anyone who reads this blog knows that Tim believes in the sovereignty of God. It would be rather tedious for him to have to rehearse that whenever trying to make a point in a related area as I am sure you would agree.
I think it would me a mistake to not pray for myself and even pray for myself as a priority. I begin my prayers in praise of God and praise Him throughout my prayer. I pray for myself early in the prayer. I review recent sins and ask God to give me the grace to turn from these sins. I pray God would incline my heart to His word and to open my eyes that I might really understand the wonders of His word and His incarnate Word. I ask Him to unite my heart with my husband’s in reverential fear of Him… to teach me what that means… to teach me about Him. I ask Him to satisfy me with His love…that I would be only satisfied with *His* love… that all my idolatrous loves of people, things or events would fall away from me. I cannot imagine not praying for myself, nor can I see how that would be a good thing.
I’m wondering about some of the Psalms, 64 for example. Is that a selfish prayer? Surely sometimes we are allowed to pray for ourselves and our needs.
Now if David had prayed to win the lottery… ;)
Take Care
Paul prayed for the Lord to remove a thorn. He certainly prayed for himself.God said to him His grace is sufficient. So Paul rejoices in the thorn, because God is glorified.
Paul also asks the saints to pray for him. That he would speak the truth with boldness, and as he ought to speak.
I do pray that I would be bold for the gospel. That I wouldn’t be ashamed of telling others about Jesus Christ, and that He is the only way, and the only truth, and the only life; and without Him, there is no way, truth, nor life for a person in the world.
“And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed unto the Lord, and wept much. …. remember me ….as she continued praying before the Lord, … Now Hannah, she spoke in her heart; only her lips moved …. And the Lord remembered her.” 1 Sam 1:10-13,19
It seems simple but something my momma used to say rings true…
“If it pleases you to please God, you can do as you please.”
I am pretty sure that is not original with her, however I think that in the application of prayer, the closer to God I become in my pursuit of what he wants for my life the closer my desire my prayer becomes to the actual sovereign will of God.
Still it leaves much open in my heart. Great thoughts
Ummm, just as a clarification, there are two Steve’s commenting here, and 31 is my only post on this subject….jut for every one’s information. I’ll start using my last initial to differintiate…
Thanks guys.
Prayer is putting ourselves in the presence of the Most High God, the Lord of the Universe. More important than what we say in prayer is the way He is loving and changing us. In our prayer, He is uniting our wills with His, so that ultimately the only things that we will desire to pray for are the things that are His will. Thus He shapes us so that we might be able to pray rightly and unselfishly by being totally united to His will. It is in this way that our prayers will move mountains; how can the Lord refuse the prayer of someone who is completely in His will? He uses His insatiable love for mankind to work through willing hearts. A willing, loving heart is the most precious thing to the Lord. If we desire Him, He will make that desire wholehearted so that we are free to pray as we ought.