Hello, I Love You

Hello I Love YouI have just one memory that involves Ted Kluck. A year ago, maybe a little bit less, he and I were together in Chicago at a small gathering of young(ish) Christian authors. Ten or fifteen of us were gathered there, sitting around a group of tables in a hotel conference room. We had the opportunity to spend an evening with D.A. Carson, the D.A. Carson, to ask him any question we wanted. It’s no small thing to have open access, even for an hour or two, to one of the world’s greatest theologians. The questions were flying fast and furious. Unfortunately for Ted and for me, we were the only two there who weren’t involved in some level of graduate degree in theology. I was rooming with a guy who, if I have it right, is significantly younger than me but the owner of two PhD’s.

Meanwhile, I have a three-year degree in history and Ted, well, he’s a former football player who undoubtedly took a few knocks on the head along the way. Ted and I sat opposite one another at this table, both feeling like the dumb guys. We didn’t understand the questions and we sure as shootin’ didn’t understand the answers. Later we commiserated, celebrating being the dumb guys. It’s a good memory.

But really, that memory has very little to do with this book review, a review of a book dealing with adoption.

Adoption is all the rage today. Is that an obnoxious thing to say? I simply mean that lots of Christians, and Reformed Christians in particular, are talking about adoption and, even better, getting involved in adoption. In recent years we’ve seen the birth of a great organization and conference dedicated to it and we’ve seen the release of a couple of excellent books on the topic. Best of all, we’ve seen more and more people actually adopt children, welcoming them to their homes, to their churches. Like many of you, I’m excited for this trend and hope it continues.

A new book on adoption, and one that is quite a bit different than the rest, is Ted Kluck’s Hello, I Love You. This is essentially a memoir, a story written during the time that Ted and his wife Kristin adopted two boys from Ukraine. As such it provides a gut-honest look at the trials, the tribulations and the eventual joys of adoption and, in this case, overseas adoption. Along the way it covers topics like infertility, international travel and spiritual depression.

One of the strengths of this book is the wry sense of humor Kluck maintains throughout. Though he deals with a serious topic, he allows his sense of humor to shine through. He’s adept at finding the humor in just about any situation. It’s not often of the laugh-out-loud variety, but it’s humor nonetheless. One of the weaknesses of the book, strangely enough, is this same sense of humor. Different people have different tolerances, I suppose, for the extent and the amount of the humor and I found that after a while it got a little predictable and maybe just a little bit too much. The same goes for Kluck’s honesty. Yes, I wanted him to be honest about what they encountered and how they dealt with it, but at times it seemed like he stubbed his toes against some kind of a line and occasionally crossed it.

I have to say, though, that neither one of those little complaints did much to temper my enjoyment of the book. And certainly neither one would keep me from recommending it. The book is successful exactly because of Kluck’s honesty about the trials that came with the adoptions. As I, the reader, read about yet another roadblock, I wanted Ted and his family to overcome it. As the final paperwork was complete and as they headed home with their son, I rejoiced along with them. Somehow all of those trials made the joy more complete.

This is not a textbook for adoption and not a theological defense of it. Instead, it’s a memoir, a story of adoption. And it works very well on that level, as narrative. But it also works well in pointing subtly to the bigger point of the spiritual reality inherent in adoption and the spiritual struggles so often encountered by those who pursue it. And besides all of that, it’s a fun book to read. Win, win. It’s pretty good for a fellow dumb guy.

You can buy it at Westminster Books or Amazon.

Comments (8)

1
Anonymous's picture

As an adoptive parent I’d recommend Ted’s book to anyone that is thinking about adopting alongside Russell Moore’s book Adopted for Life. We adopted here in America through the foster care system but a lot of the feelings and circumstances associated with adoption are the same.

2
Anonymous's picture

We didn’t understand the questions and we sure as shootin’ didn’t understand the answers.”

I’m hip to that, and even moreso with my pea brain. I read an interview in Modern Reformation Mag. of DA Carson. He was asked questions by Michale Horton about Scripture and systematic theology. I did actually understand the some of it, I think, but I was lost. My brain was vexed.

Nice post. Ted Kluck did always seem to me a happy-go-lucky guy, who is serious about the Gospel, and football.

Adoption is something I feel I could never do at 57 years old. Maybe I should have done something earlier in my life.

3
Anonymous's picture

Our family is in the process of adopting from Ethiopia and I ordered this book specifically for my husband. I read adoption blogs every day, most written by women. It’s important that we hear the story of adoption from the father’s perspective too. Thank you for your review!

4
Anonymous's picture

As an adoptive mom of 4 (mom to 8), I know well how important this honesty is. Adoptive parents feel we can’t be honest about our struggles. People will say we made our bed and have to sleep in it. When we admit that we didn’t experience love at first sight with our adoptees, people will say we are awful and heartless. People who have never adopted are harsh judges in my experience.I can’t wait to read this book!

5
Anonymous's picture

Adoption is WAY romanticized in American culture, including evangelical culture. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s a wonderful thing, a rewarding thing, and to be encouraged. But romanticizing anything is never constructive, and I’m glad that this book seems to combat it.

6
Anonymous's picture

People who have never adopted are harsh judges in my experience.” -Ginger

I never adopted, and I can say you are admired by me. I have some good friends who adopted to babies who had HIV. They are a white couple with six children of their own, and they adopted a black girl, and a black boy. This was 20 years ago. The girl has since went to be with the Lord, about a year ago, and the boy, Sam, is doing great as a student at UMBC, and he plays lacrosse.

God bless you and fill you with His love, truth, and joy. Amen.

7
Anonymous's picture

Reality is good. I have adopted 2, and also have 4 bio kids. I would not ever feel I could be honest with most people about the struggles involved for the adopted kids. The bonding is hard work, and SO SO worth it, but it isn’t as though a family can be constructed in any way without some serious effort. It can be overly romanticized. There are a great many tragic disruptions going on as a result of unrealistic expectations. Good to hear about this book.

8
Anonymous's picture

For anyone who has the heart, find a couple in your church struggling through infertility or in the process of adoption. Then pray with them and support their adoption. You may not be able to adopt, but you can encourage those who are in a position to. My wife and I were so grateful for the gifts and encouragement that brought our son into our family.

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