A Family Policy [Carla]

I've written about this before here, but due to the time of year, I think it's a good time to bring this up again.

Sick kids in church...

My husband Kevin and I strongly believe that if your kid is sick, and potentially contagious with a cold or flu, they ought to stay home from church or mid-week kid's programs. Of course that means one of the parents has to stay home too, and 99.99% of the time that means me, in our house.

This family "policy" we have wasn't agreed on lightly. None of us enjoy staying home from church, and none of us want to. But weighing the pros and cons of the situation, it's a rather selfish thing to do to simply medicate up, and drag your kids off to church so that you can be there. All the while, they (or you) are spreading your virus to everyone else there, so that others can begin suffering in a couple of days and miss church next week.

Since our son Samuel burnt his foot 3 months ago, for one reason or another I have only been to a Sunday service once. He wasn't able to go for several weeks due to that, but then the fall colds started. It really really bothers me, but there is very little I can do about it. We can only attend every other week as it is, with Kev's work schedule, and it seems that it's always the Sunday that we can go, that something happens where I end up staying home with a sick kid, or being sick myself. With 5 kids in this house, it's almost as if the viruses we get just seem to rotate and someone is always sick, from about mid-September until March. It was really bad last year, and I think I went 3-4 months at one point without ever being at church. It made me feel a little better knowing that we weren't the only family dealing with it though.

Problem is, parents who DON'T keep their sick kids at home.

Here's a very real scenario that plays out in our house all winter long:

Kev and most of the kids go to church on Sunday. I stay home with a sick kid. Someone else has taken their sick kid to church, and 2 of mine catch it. Of course we don't know that they've caught it, but by Tuesday or Wednesday morning sometime they're coughing or sneezing, runny noses and body aches. A week goes by, and we miss the next Sunday anyway because Kev's 45 miles away at work, with the van. Week 2 begins with 2 of the kids nearly over their virus, with 2 more of them (and me, and Kev too) just coming down with it. By the next Sunday, when we all could have gone to church, one or more of us is staying home with a sick kid, because some other parent took their sick kid to church.

Now I realize that sometimes your kids are contagious and you (and them) don't even realize they have anything yet, so obviously there's a no fault clause there. But what about the parents who KNOW their kids are sick, and medicate them and take them to church? Do they really think that the other kids in church aren't going to get it? Do they realize that those kids are going to go home and spread it around their families? Do they think about these things at all, or is being in church more imporatant to them than any of that?

Being in church for me, is a wonderful thing. I love to be among the saints, hearing the word preached, worshipping together, and praying together. I'm getting weepy-eyed just writing this, because I haven't been able to go for so long. I long to be there, but I don't long to be there so much I will drag along a sick kid to make you and your family sick, later in the week. IT'S NOT FAIR to you, and it's not fair to me, or my kids.

Because we homeschool, and because we live in the country (not walking distance to any friends homes), being in church on Sunday and Wednesday is the highlight of our week, for worship, and for social gatherings of likeminded believers. We don't get to go as a whole family, for most of the winter because other families don't think about this sort of thing when they take their sick kids to church. The kids are also going to miss the annual Christmas concert this year, for this very reason. They're not happy about it, and neither are we.

Kev and I both spoke to our pastor last winter about this and he wholeheartedly agreed. At least once that I know of he mentioned it from the pulpit during bulletin announcements. I've brought this up with other believers, and other pastors, and everyone seems to agree that if your kids are sick, STAY HOME. Treat the virus at home, so that everyone (not just your family, but other families too) can worship together next Sunday.

I wish everyone would do this. I wish everyone would be more mindful of those families that aren't coming during the winter months, and maybe ask themselves why.