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Friday Frivolity

I’m going to be rolling out a new feature of this blog on Monday. Or am am hoping to, anyways. It is a feature that is long overdue, and one I hope contributes to the blogosphere. So check back Monday for that - it’s guaranteed to be a letdown.

Two weeks from today I will be making the trek to the bustling metropolis of Minneapolis to attend (and blog) the Desiring God National Conference. I will be teaming up with Doug McHone (of Coffeewirls fame) to bring a riveting play-by-play of the event. We haven’t discussed roles yet, but I’m thinking he should be Al Michaels and I’ll be John Madden. I guess that means I have to say “cankles” a lot. I’ve arranged some prizes to give away, so mark the date on your calendar and be sure to check in at this site, or at coffeeswirls.com.

I will be flying aboard MidWest Airlines, an airline I chose based entirely on price. Seats on their planes were significantly cheaper than on any other airlines. I hope that is simply because they are a not-for-profit organization and not because they cut corners in their hiring and maintenance practices. My itinerary has me leaving Toronto at about 10:30 EST. Of course I have to clear U.S. Customs before I can even set foot in the plane and that is bound to take some time. Last time my sister and brother-in-law flew out of Canada my sweet little sister ended up being quite rude to a Customs agent who was growing increasingly rude with her. I intend to be my usual charming self and avoid any similar trouble. And of course, after Customs, I still need to pass security. MidWest saw fit to send me the following guidelines:

  • Avoid wearing clothing, jewelry or other accessories that contain metal when traveling through the security checkpoints:
    • Heavy Jewelry (including pins, necklaces, bracelets, rings, watches, earrings, body piercings, cuff links, lanyards or bolo ties) [shouldn’t be an issue. I’ll remove my extensive jewelry collection before going through customs screening
    • Clothing with metal buttons, snaps or studs [I’m not Amish, you know].
    • Metal hair barrettes or other hair decoration [I barely have enough hair to decorate it].
    • Belt buckles [I don’t think I have a belt with a plastic buckle].
    • Under-wire bras [I’ll make sure to wear one without wires].
  • Hidden items such as body piercings may result in your being directed to additional screening for a pat-down inspection. If selected for additional screening, you may ask to remove your body piercing in private as an alternative to the pat-down search. [Great, so now I have to remove all my body piercings too].
  • Take metal items such as keys, loose change, mobile phones, pagers, and personal data assistants (PDAs) out of your pockets. [Alright, I get the idea].

After a flight of an hour and a half (I think - it’s hard to tell with the various time zones), barely enough time to skim through the on-board magazines, I will arrive in Milwaukee and will have to waste some three hours before the final leg of my journey, a grueling hour-long flight to Minneapolis. MidWest tells me that the plane, a Boeing 717 which probably outdates me by several decades, features “extra-wide, two-across leather seating in every row, plus baked-onboard chocolate chip cookies on many flights.” I’m pretty sure I’ve never been on board a flight that featured fresh-baked cookies. According to the seating chart posted on MidWest’s site, it seems that the 717 has outdoor bathroom facilities, as they seem to be located on the right side of the aircraft, immediately beside the tail. That could get windy.

And now, with no further ado, I present the most frivolous link I have yet posted. This is one of the funniest sermon bloopers I’ve ever heard. You may not want to watch this at work or with the kiddies around you. Did Lot Pitch His Tents or did he…? Make sure you watch to the end so you can witness the complete meltdown of an awfully embarrassed pastor.