On Saturday I submitted the manuscript for my book. That evening we had some friends come over, and among these friends was Paul, our pastor, who took the opportunity to share a song he had written for the occasion. I do believe this marks the first, and probably the last, time anyone has written me a song. It’s a humdinger, too, even if it is somewhat lacking in historical accuracy.

I assume you can figure out the tune, but if not, think “Beverly Hillbillies” or just click here.

Let me tellya story about a man named Tim
Poor web designer barely kept his figure slim
Then one day he posted pictures of his dog
And up from the ‘net came a bubblin’ blog
Weblog that is
Ee-lectronic gold
Ethereal thoughts…

Well the first thing ya know Ol’ Tim’s an uber-blogger
There aren’t any words that rhyme with uber-blogger
He thought, “Writing books is where I ougtta be!”
So he loaded up his thoughts and called his pal J.T.
Justin Taylor that is
Piper’s guy
Influential Crossway Editor…

So Tim pitched the book and Crossway gave him cash
He bought himself a camera, then played Balderdash
The next thing you know, it’s March the thirty-one
And Tim’s little book isn’t even nearly done
Busted, that is
Wasted opportunity
Time to pay back the advance…

Well Tim hatched a plan and told his lovely bride
He used his discernment and a trailer-load of pride
He gathered up old blog posts and gave ‘em a new look
Then he sent it off to Crossway and called it his “New Book”
Deception, that is
Easy money
Milking Americans…

“The Discipline of Discernment!”