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Distrust, Suspicion, or Love?
- 01/18/08
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I grew up in a Christian culture in which very little evangelism took place. How little? Well, the first adult I ever witnessed getting baptized was my wife (she was my girlfriend at the time) and that was when we were eighteen or nineteen. It was the first time our church had ever baptized an adult. And what's more, it was the first time most of the people who attended that church had ever seen an adult get baptized. While it is not necessarily so, it seems that there is usually something amiss with the evangelistic focus of churches that never, ever see any outside converts through their ministry.
A few years after my wife's baptism we moved away from the town we had grown up in so we could be closer to my place of business. In the past decade we have been members of two different churches that place much greater emphasis on reaching the lost. We have seen many, many people come to faith, including several who are now close friends. We have seen lives be altered dramatically and have seen more baptisms than we can count - baptisms in churches, rivers, pools, hot tubs and a really big, ugly aluminum tank. We have shared in the joy of seeing people profess their faith by being baptized. It truly is one of the greatest events on any church’s calendar!
Over the years I’ve had to reflect on what made the churches I attended as a child and teenager so ineffective at evangelism. I have to be careful here because I know several people from the churches of my youth who read this site and I want to be careful that I accurately characterize these churches. While there are several reasons I could provide, and they are of varying importance, there is one that I believe stands at the foundation of the rest: These churches often regarded the unbeliever as the enemy. Of course the church would never have articulated that belief, but it seemed to be deeply rooted.
This attitude manifested itself in many ways. One of the clearest ways was among the children of church members. They would rarely, if ever, be allowed or encouraged to play with the unsaved children in the neighborhood. I knew a man who was an "urban missionary" whose children were confined to their backyard and were never, ever allowed to play with the other children in the area. The churched children were not allowed to play with other children lest they become corrupted by their worldliness.
My observation was that this approach failed badly. First, the church was not faithful to its calling to take the gospel throughout the world (the world that begins just outside the front door). They preferred to exist in an enclave, safe from outside influences. Second, the children developed a fascination with the world simply because any access to the outside world had been denied to them and they had never seen the pain and heartbreak that are the inevitable result of forsaking God. The world looks awfully attractive until a person sees the results of giving himself over to it. Third, the parents were prone to ignoring worldliness in their own children. I know that I saw more drugs, more drinking, more disrespect and more awful behavior in the Christian schools I attended than I did in the public schools. This isolation simply did not work. We do not need the world to teach us worldliness. Rather, worldliness arises from within.
The attitude that was modeled by my parents was far different. My family took the opposite approach and we were always encouraged to make friends with the children in the neighborhoods we lived in. We saw many children and parents come to faith in this way. Many others may not have become believers, but they received a clear presentation of the gospel so that they are now without excuse. And regardless of whether or not these people came to faith, we gained many good and valuable friendships. Mom and dad did not do this because they regarded the folks in the neighborhood as a project, but out of a genuine love, concern and appreciation for these people. The person next door was not an enemy, but a person who was just as unsaved as my parents were not too many years before, and was thus someone in desperate need of a Savior. And they intended to give everyone the opportunity to meet the Savior through them.
Sometimes worlds clashed. There were a couple of times when my sisters brought friends to church, friends who were unsaved but were showing interest in the gospel, only to have them mocked or scorned. One little girl was scolded and had her ear "flicked" by the woman in the pew behind her because she was not able to sit still throughout the service. A friend my sister brought to church was openly mocked by the children in the church because he had dyed-blond hair and an earing. He never returned, and as far as I know, never expressed any openness to the gospel after that time.
I truly believe, after many years of reflection, that the real problem in these churches was in their attitude towards the unbeliever. The person next door was the enemy, a person to be feared for what he might do to the family, and the children in particular, and thus someone to be regarded with distrust and suspicion rather than with love.
Sometimes I think it is little wonder that many people in the Emergent camp rail against evangelism metaphors that make the unbeliever sound like an enemy. Perhaps these metaphors do cause us to regard unbelievers as a rebel army that we need to fear. It occurs to me that when we sing "Onward Christian Soldiers" we are not singing a battle cry that will lead us out to battle against the unbeliever next door. No, we are not waging war "against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places" (Ephesians 6:12).
The real enemy is not next door. The real enemy is our own sinfulness and the worldliness that continues to try to manifest itself in our lives. The enemy is within, not without.
I am a follower of Jesus Christ, a husband to Aileen and a father to three young children. I worship and serve as a pastor at 
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Comments (25)
Hello Tim; First time commenter! It is nice to see a Canadian blogger! I have been wondering if there were any with anything to say and it sounds like you are one that has something to say. It is noce to get a Canadian perspective on the net on all things Christian. Just wondering… Are you of CRC background? I am and this post sounds a lot like I could have written it… Blessings and keep up the good, and gracious blogging.
Are you of CRC background?
No, but similar.
Amen, brother. Couldn’t have said it better myself. I grew up in the same environment, and share many of the same concerns. However, thank the Lord for believers and bodies who out of love for Christ do reach out to the lost and call them to believe in the truth.
Your are so right. What is most convicting is that I have been on both sides of the camp. The side of the “misfit” unbeliever and the side of the “Christian” hypocrite. ugh.
A few thoughts:
They [the children from the churches in your past] would rarely, if ever, be allowed or encouraged to play with the unsaved children in the neighborhood.
Have you witnessed to any degree this ridiculous mindset (which you saw years ago) anywhere today?
I know that I saw more drugs, more drinking, more disrespect and more awful behavior in the Christian schools I attended than I did in the public schools.
Do you think this would still be true today? My thinking has always been that you can find what you want to find in any situation (private or public school)…except in the home school! ;-)
The enemy is within, not without.
I’m not sure this is a complete statement. The enemy the Christian fights is only partly within us (our flesh).
Our neighbor is certainly NOT our enemy…but the world (and all that that includes) IS our enemy, along with the flesh and the devil.
Good, thought-provoking post, Tim.
Tim, A much needed word to those who frequent your blog. I recently read an article by Jimmy Williams at http://www.leaderu.com/orgs/probe/docs/apol-eva.html
In this article he describes different evangelistic approaches evident in Christianity today. Unfortunately, many doctrinally minded folk fall into what Williams called the “defensive approach” to evangelism. The defensive approach is where Christians are so afraid of being defiled by the people of this world that they fail to fulfill one of the greatest commandments in Scripture—evangelism.
Williams says, “We are to be taking ground, not just holding it.”
Jimmy
On occasion I’ve wondered if this attitude toward unbelievers arises out of an insecurity with their own faith of sorts—meaning that “outsiders” might question their beliefs or lead them into a sinful lifestyle, which could lead to doubts or force them into really reflecting on their beliefs and how they live them out. I was not a Christian in college, and it was always surprising to me when believers couldn’t explain what they believed or refused to discuss scripture in class (“because it isn’t literature to be dissected”). It sometimes seemed that they had just accepted what their parents told them about religion, never actually evaluating it themselves and just clinging to what was comfortable and in their little bubble.
Ally,
I think a major part of the problem today is a lack of true discipleship within our churches. Christians are simply not adequately equipped after conversion.
One big problem is that many see the Great Commission as being about evangelism, when if fact that is only the very first part of the Commission. The majority of it is discipleship, which is all but lost in today’s evangelicalism.
“Go and teach/disciple the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit, teaching/discipling them to observe all that I have commanded you.”
Have you witnessed to any degree this ridiculous mindset (which you saw years ago) anywhere today?
Yes. I won’t elaborate, but yes, I have.
I’m not sure this is a complete statement. The enemy the Christian fights is only partly within us (our flesh).
No, it’s not a complete statement. Nor was it really meant to be!
Good word. Although I think the biblical perspective does kind of paint the unbeliever as an enemy, it also clearly instructs us on how to engage our enemies. I don’t think that the mindset that the unbeliever is an enemy is necessarily wrong, what’s wrong is the church’s understanding is lopsided. By all respects, we ought to be able to hold love for our enemies; if you divorce your people from either word, love or enemies, you could end up with major problems. To not regard the unbeliever as an enemy, you risk being given over to their ways. To not embrace love for the unbeliever as an enemy you end up with what you just described.
My two cents.
Bill… your “2 cents” was invaluable. Very well said and thought provoking.
Similarly, I am impressed with the efforts of Evangelism Explosion and a new evangelistic initiative called XEE. I’ve never considered EE as hostile in the manner Tim expresses, but this new initiative seeks to value relationship building and dialogue. I appreciate their willingness to change.
“Come out from among them and be separate” was the verse that sticks to my mind from my fundamentalist days. They emphasized God’s comdemning the Israelites ways of intermingling with the Gentile nations. We should also be separate from the world, and “touch not the unclean thing”.
I do not know how this harmonizes with Christ’s command “Let you light so shine before men..” or His mingling with Roman soldiers, tax collectors, prostitutes, Gentiles. Even His Incarnation speaks of God making a home with unclean people. Or His unflinching, unqualified denunciation of the Pharisees, the “separate ones”.
Ruben,You said, “We should also be separate from the world, and ‘touch not the unclean thing’.”
I agree with you have written here because it is a quotation from the Scriptures, however, I am not sure if i agree with how you are applying it. Jesus touched many unclean things—he rubbed shoulders with the tax collectors and prostitutes. Heck, He even went to their houses ate their food, and maybe even sipped a bit of their wine (in moderation). This is an excellent passage, but we must really think about how it is to be applied to us in our every day lives.
I do not claim to know how it applies to me in every area of my life, but I do know that Jesus came with compassion on the multitude. He did not steer clear of all lost people. He engaged them, healed them, touched them, ate with them.
Maybe we are on the right track if some think we spend too much “hang out” time with the lost while some think we spend too little “hang out” time with the lost. Just a thought.
Jimmy
Jimmy I agree with you completely, heck the Lord even touched leprosy! I was just digging up old baggage from my fundamentalist days and contrasting that to Jesus.
evangelism metaphors that make the unbeliever sound like an enemy
Not disagreeing with you, but can you provide an example of what you are talking about? Just curious.
Long time reader, first time commentator. I couldn’t have said ti better myself to be frank. You’ll be hard pressed to find less Christian people than those in churches like that.
I was brought up a Christian by my parents, but always allowed to think and experiment as I wished. As I result, sure I’ve made some whopping mistakes in my time, but I’ve also (I believe) become the person that I am because of them.
Hiding from the world and shutting it out won’t make it go away, nor does it make you better than the rest of it. It just means that you end up with too much piety, and too little faith. As the saying goes, “a man who is quick to find the splinter in another’s eye oft misses the plank in his own”.
More damage has been done to the reputation of Christians and Christianity by people like this, than by any other group.
To this day, it baffles me as to who and how it is they think they’re helping…
It is altogether to easy to forget that sin is not an external problem but internal. We do not become sinners because we do works of unrighteousness, but because we are born in a state of spiritual death. I think we also to easily forget that the truth of God’s word was once alien to us and that by God’s providential means the gospel was once presented to us and by the power of the Holy Spirit we were made to love that which we hated and rebelled against. This is true whether you were born in a christian home and went to christian school or had previously never heard a word of the gospel, at one time you (and I) were rebels set against God. I pray that those of us who have been given new hearts, would also be blessed with mouths to speak what wondrous things our Lord has done and not just use those lips to encourage brothers in the faith, but those who are yet strangers to the grace of God.
I am humbled every time I read “Memoirs and Remains of Robert Murray M’Cheyne”. God so blessed M’Cheyne with a desire to reach the lost with the hope of the gospel and I can say with confidence that the a primary reason for his desire was that he saw the sinfullness of the human heart and at the same time the all-sufficient savior that gave him peace. His desire was to point others to that same source of reconciliation. May God grant that this would also be our calling and our delight. If you have not read this book by Andrew Bonar, I strongly recommend it and in particular I love his letters to a soul seeking Jesus.
2 Corinthians 5:18-2118 All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; 19 that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. 20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. 21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. ESV
Tim,
Sadly we as Christians view EACH OTHER as the enemy so it stands to reason we would certainly view the unbeliever as the enemy
I come from a Separatist Baptist background. We were against everything and it was natural to view outsiders as the enemy. The challenge is to be in the world but not of the world.
Helpful to me on this subject was several sermons that John Piper did on Romans 12:1-2 (“Do not be conformed to this world …”). Here he discussed the tension between the “indigenous principle” (fitting in in one’s culture) vs. “the pilgrim principle” (we’re only passing through). We find support for both in the Bible. There’s a tension between these two principles wherin every believer has to work out the balance.
Oh! I forgot to include the link to the sermon I referenced above. It’s http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByScripture/10/176_Do_Not_Be_Conformed_to_This_World/
“I know that I saw more drugs, more drinking, more disrespect and more awful behavior in the Christian schools I attended than I did in the public schools.”
This kind of blanket statement makes me cringe. It reminds me of people who know one person outside of their own race and then make a pronouncement about all “those” people. You are speaking of your personal experience, but seem to be passing judgment on all Christian schools as h***-holes compared to public schools. Certainly there are good Christian schools and good public schools.
BTW, I was educated in public school.
Tim,Well said. I resonate with your words and appreciate the lack of an “us vs. them” mentality. Jesus rebuked self-righteous religious people and not the “world” at large. He offers the Gospel (Himself) instead of Religion, while I find my heart by default heading towards pride and thinking I’ve done something to earn God’s love. As Tim Keller consistently reminds us, “I’m accepted, therefore I obey,” and not the other way around (if I obey He’ll accept me). I am (we are) so bad He had to die, and so loved He was glad to die.
Of course, all people need to come, repent and believe in Christ, and He must draw them. Perhaps if I don’t get in the way, He can use me in the process. That is why displaying the true Gospel of Grace (and not just moralistic Religion) to the world is so desperately necessary, for them, for me, and for displaying God rightly.
Thanks for the reminder to that end.
Tim,This post was sobering, even more so since my church has only seen 2 baptisms in the 4 years that I have been there. This, in a church and country where less than 1% are Christians.
I have many friends who have the very same mindset as you have described. I have always considered myself more of a puritan, rather than a separatist. And thus, we have hopefully modeled and permeated our home with the truths of God’s Word, while also being able to share those truths with our unsaved friends and neighbors. And as parents, there will be times we must use discernment in some of those relationships, but there’s never anything that He can’t handle or shield our children from.
Great thoughts and well said today!
A thought-provoking insight for sure. I certainly know where you’re coming from and agree with the gist of your thoughts. However, perhaps the word “enemy” is not quite correct, since most people in the circles you speak of would agree with the statements that the enemy is not flesh and blood but spiritual powers and principalities. They would also agree that unbelievers are clearly called enemies of God, rather than our personal enemies. They also know that we are called to love our enemies. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that they view the unbelieving neighbour as a danger, rather than as an enemy (which is different, but would also result in the unfortunate actions that you speak about).
To use a different example, namely the Biblical exhortation for Christians to be like salt in this world, perhaps we believe that our children are not yet mature enough to defend themselves against the spiritual dangers that lie around them and of which they would be exposed to by mingling with unbelievers. We believe that unbelieving children would be salt affecting our children, rather than believing that our children can be salt to the other children. The concern that we, and/or our children, are adversely affected (and this is a valid concern supported by Proverbs like “bad company ruins good morals”) seems to outweigh concerns that we should be salt for good in the lives of others. And once children have been protected in a bubble for many years because of this concern, it is a comfortable habit (or bubble) that is not always so easy to break out of once one reaches maturity or adulthood.
So the 2 questions are: (1) Why do we often think others will affect us negatively, rather than us affecting them positively? Why do we have such an “us vs. them” mentality in the first place? And (2) Why does our concern of being negatively affected outweigh our concern for being salt and light in this world?
I believe the answers to these questions bring us into deeper realms of heart-felt and passionate beliefs vs. indoctrinated assents to standard questions, the place of prayer in the life of the church, the cultural and ecclesiastical settings in which creeds were written giving rise to particular emphasis on certain issues and de-emphasis on other issues in creedal churches. Well, you’re the blog writer, so I’ll leave it at that for now.