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Familiarity and Contempt
- 09/09/09
- 15
When I need to travel by plane, I often catch a shuttle to the airport. This is one of those little buses that will pick me up at my door and drop me at the terminal. The service is a little bit expensive (and getting more so), at least compared to having Aileen drive me, but the cost is well worth it when compared to waking the family at 5 AM and bundling them into the car. That just does not work out well.
A couple of months ago, when heading from the airport to home, I noticed a little magazine in the seat pocket ahead of me and, with nothing else to do, dug it out and gave it a read. It was a tourist guide to Southern Ontario, focusing on Toronto and the cities and towns surrounding it. Naturally, I flipped about halfway through to the "O" section to see what the editors would say about my home town of Oakville. They had a lot to say, as it happens. They mentioned the beauty of the old neighborhoods along the shores of Lake Ontario where many of the homes have stood for 100 years or more and where you need not even apply unless you've got at least seven digits to put toward your home. They mentioned the main street with all its quaint shops, boutiques and cafes and suggested that a person could easily spend a day there browsing, shopping, eating, snapping photographs. They wrote of the beautiful harbor, of some of the provincial parks and of the little museum dedicating to preserving the history of the area. They declared Oakville an exceptionally beautiful town and a must-visit for anyone who happens to be in the area.
As I finished up the Oakville section, I couldn't help but think, "Wow. Oakville sounds like a really great place!" The editors' description of my town opened my eyes, or re-opened my eyes, to some of the beauty I have lost in its familiarity. I see so many of these things so often that they have lost their interest, lost what sets them apart. It brought to mind the old cliche, "Familiarity breeds contempt." When I see those grand old homes, I see inflated real estate prices and snobby kids who attend tens-of-thousands-of-dollars-a-year private schools that pretty much set them up for life in the local old boy network (and where their high schools are called "colleges" just to set them apart). When I see Lakeshore Road, the main street, I think of overpaid merchandise and far too little parking. I have rarely ventured into the local parks and have never set foot inside the museum. I suppose I've pretty much taken my town for granted. In all its familiarity it has eventually generated contempt. It's just Oakville, right?
I would like to say that since that day I've taken a renewed interest in my town and have begun to see it for what it is. Maybe in some ways I have. The last time I went down to the old part of town I did pause to take in some of those grand old homes and to appreciate their beauty. And there is beauty in those homes--more so, I think, than the new builds that fill so much of the rest of the town. We recently went down to the edge of Lake Ontario, right near the museum, to shoot some family photographs and couldn't help but note the beauty of the parks and the unique character of the old part of the town. It is picturesque, without a doubt.
But even more than helping me appreciate the town I live in, simply reading this simple little magazine began to open my eyes to some of the other things in life I take for granted, some of the other things I've allowed to become too familiar. Some of God's greatest gifts to me are the ones that are closest to me and it is discouraging that these are the very ones with which I am most likely to grow too familiar--so familiar that they begin to seem so drab, so...normal. The remarkable can so soon become unremarkable just by its closeness. The greatest gift can fade just because it is so accessible. Discontentment seems native to the human heart, at least in this sinful world. And I think we all are prone to allow the greatest, closest gifts to fade simply by virtue of their familiarity.

I am a follower of Jesus Christ, a husband to Aileen and a father to three young children. I write books and blogs for fun while doing web design and consulting for a living. I worship and serve at 
Comments (15)
Thanks for that. It's a great illustration. I may just borrow it sometime!
I've been laid up for a couple of months. (I had my left Big Toe amputated) and I've been watching the Food Network a lot.
I don't believe I've ever read anything that you've written about your favorite foods or the foods that are popular in Canada. I've read where you take your kids to McDonalds and I've read where you wanted to eat a particular burger on one of your trips to California but that's about it. Do the restaurants in Ontario focus on French cooking? Do you find things like squid and octopus on the menus? What is a night of "Fine Dining" for Mr. and Mrs. Challies?
Toronto is multicultural to the extreme, so there is every kind of dining around here. Aileen I are steakhouse kind of people, so when we go out, we'll generally go and get a great steak. But if we wanted Indian or Chinese or just about anything else, we could get it close to home.
I don't think Canada really has much in the way of distinctly Canadian cuisine--not much that we're really known for. Pea soup perhaps? Beaver tails? Not a whole lot comes to mind!
I confess that I suffer from this too regarding my home of Girard Kansas. Now, there are no real "rich" areas of town, but the fact that all one sees is pasture land and wheat fields gets old...it traps you. I ran from this trap and joined the Navy and haven't really looked back since. This is a good reminder to consider going back, if just to see if there's something there. Thank you for this post.
Thank you! I've been feeling down and discouraged for some time and this really encouraged me to reflect and consider what blessings God has poured into my life. I think I got so used to this new life he's given me I just stopped appreciating it.
This post highlights a practice I have long delighted in cultivating in my life: celebrating that which makes the ordinary extraordinary. I can't help but receive great joy when others share the details that I might otherwise not have known or appreciated. Thank you so much for sharing this, Tim! But more than that, your post made me see the Lord in a new light. I mean, isn't it just amazing that God's familiarity with us never breeds contempt? Even though He knows every detail of us from beginning to end, His delight for us never changes or ceases. In this same way, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit know and delight in one another completely and eternally. It's absolutely staggering! How I love our God!!!
Thanks Tim for a nice observation...helpful to me today. And thanks Lori for your insight, I really appreciate that, too!
I enjoy reading your thoughts daily and they always give me something to ponder.
However for the past few days the RSS feed hasn't been working in my feed reader (I use a sage plug-in for Firefox.) It says there is an XML Parse error. Just wanted to let you know. Keep up the good writing.
Poutine, don't forget poutine, Tim.
Butter tarts, chips and gravy (french fries and gravy), french fries with salt and vinegar, nanimo bars, big turks, passion flakies, smarties, coffee crisp, pink cream soda
Tim Hortons is the main source of nourishment for Canadians. You can find a "Timmy's" on almost every street corner in major Canadian cities. Tim Horton was a professional hockey player who died in an accident. His name, coupled with the warm comfort food and coffee served at the restaurants bearing his name have worked themselves into the very fabric of the Canadian identity. So strong is Canada's affinity with "T-Ho's" that it is essentially a symbol of Canada like the maple leaf and the beaver.
Heartfelt gratitudeCan not be mustered upIt wells up withinChristianHaiku.com
Ha ha ha Jane...junk food galore. When I came back to visit Toronto less than a month ago, I got Ketchup chips, a Coffee Crisp, a Vachon Flaky Cake..but I couldn't find the Eat-Mores! I then stopped at Timmy's a gazillion times, not for the coffee mind you, but to get some hot tea and the occasional maple donut. Gain-weight program, you know?
Anyone ever try Ethiopian food? My daughter took me out to this little haunt on Bloor - loved it.
It's a great little town. I even noticed a ragtag cryptomeria just barely surviving by the lakeshore. They grow well here in TN. Ther used to be a good bakery on Main St when I was landscaping for the Sorensons.
Don't forget dill pickle chips and Smarties...