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How I Got Here (Part 3)
- 10/25/10
- 27
I’ve now written two articles about how I got here (part one and part two). I sat down to write about the background to this site—the events that led to its beginning—and got a little distracted along the way. Today I’ll actually get to the heart of the story.
I ended the last article in September 2000, at the point where Aileen and I (and our baby son) moved to Oakville. As we did so, we left behind the Dutch Reformed tradition—the only tradition we had really known. We had a few weeks’ worth of experience in the Baptist world but no more. I had never read a Christian book, at least to my memory, but had a background of strong, Reformational theology.
For almost a year we bounced from church-to-church in the Oakville area. We attended a couple of them for an extended period of time (a few months) but in both cases found the churches hopelessly shallow and largely disinterested. We did not have the vocabulary to describe them beyond just being shallow. The sermons were short and topical, the services focused on things other than the Bible. We made no friendships and found no fellowship, even after attending one of these churches for four or five months (literally, we didn’t have anyone show even the least bit of interest in us).
It was just about a year later that we received a card in the mail announcing the start of a new church, a Baptist church, that would meet in a high school near our home. We liked the idea of being involved in something new and exciting and decided we would check it out. It was a Southern Baptist church and one that was meant to be the starting point of a whole church planting movement that would blanket the Toronto area and, eventually, all of Canada. We went to their very first service and were immediately intrigued. The theology seemed sound enough but what really drew us was the emphasis on mission, on being part of a movement that would be dedicated to spreading the gospel. We had never heard of anything like it. But as soon as we did, we were hooked. We were very eager to take an emphasis on mission over an emphasis on theology. In fact, we now believed that Reformed theology was inherently anti-evangelistic.
This was a church we could get behind and we soon settled in and became members. We joined a small group and found deep, meaningful, lasting friendships there. These were exciting times. The church grew quickly, soon passing the 100 mark and then reaching toward 150 (which is amazing growth in a Canadian context). The church soon planted several others, beginning this movement that would transform Canada.
It was around this time, late 2002, that I registered the domain challies.com. My parents had recently moved to the U.S. and I wanted to have a family site through which I could share photographs of the kids. And so I grabbed the family name and set up a site. Being a budding web designer, I used it as a test ground to try out some new designs and new methods. At one point I decided to write an article or two. In one of his sermons, our pastor mentioned Mother Teresa in a positive sense, using her as an example of true Christian virtue. I looked into her and wrote an article I titled The Myth of Mother Teresa. I enjoyed doing that writing and eventually wrote another article or two. The search engines worked their magic and soon people were reading these articles. About a year after the site started, I pulled down the photographs of the kids and decided to focus on writing. It was at the end of 2003 that I made the commitment to blog every day, a habit I’ve maintained to the present day.
But. You knew a but was going to come in sooner or later, right? The first couple of years were a honeymoon time. Two things combined to bring the honeymoon to an end.
The first crack in the foundation came when I began a new job. I had been laid off from one company and had just begun at a new one. And I hated it. To keep myself sane, I would go for a walk each day at lunch time and along my route was a Christian bookstore. One day I ventured in and bought two books, one from an author whose name I had heard a couple of times and the other by one I knew nothing about. The first was Ashamed of the Gospel by John MacArthur and the second was Whatever Happened to the Gospel of Grace? by James Montgomery Boice. Out of all the books in the store I walked out with those two. MacArthur’s book, I came to see, may as well have been written as a direct response to the church I was part of. And Boice’s book may as well have been written to warn me and remind me of all I was leaving behind as I walked away from Reformed theology. And I can say without hyperbole that these two books, that one-two punch, changed my life. Things were never the same.
The second crack in the foundation came when the pastor announced that we would be starting a study called The Purpose Driven Life. I knew very little of Rick Warren, though I had read The Purpose Driven Church earlier in the year at the pastor’s suggestion. I knew the book but had no idea how big Warren’s ministry and influence had become. In early 2003 our church committed to going through PDL and at this time I was involved in lay leadership within the church. I decided to use my blog as a forum to go through the book day-by-day, focusing particular attention on Warren’s use of Scripture. Unknowingly, I had tapped into an area that was of great interest to many Christians and, in particular, conservative and/or Reformed Christians. The number of visitors to the blog climbed rapidly. And I began to see that Rick Warren was at times unbiblical and at other times sub-biblical.
By the time I had read those three books—MacArthur, Boice and Warren—I knew that I was in the midst of a crisis. MacArthur was saying to me that we are our theology—that what seems to be good practice can’t be good at all unless we have our theology right. Boice was saying that we need to return to our theological roots. Warren was saying that we need to do whatever God seems to be blessing. The battle lines were drawn. And I became convicted that theology matters but even more, that Reformed theology matters; that it is biblical.
We did not leave that church right away. Actually, we stayed there until 2006. But things weren’t ever quite the same. Now I assumed that I could be a force for change—that if people just saw what I saw, they would want to change too. I was largely humble about this, I think, but still insistent. And I was to be disappointed.
There was one phenomenon I noted in this time. This church did a great job of drawing people into the church and encouraging them to turn to Christ. There were many very credible, undeniable professions of faith through the ministry of this church. But we began to see that so many of those who got saved hungered for something this church would not give them. Many walked in the front door, were saved, and then a few months later walked out the back door to the Harvest Bible Chapel in town where they were fed on a diet of Scripture. At one point we went on a men’s retreat where a guest preacher delivered an expository sermon and many of the men of the church came to me afterward and said, “I don’t know what that was, but it was amazing!” They hadn’t known how hungry they were until they got a glimpse of true spiritual nourishment.
In 2004 The Passion of the Christ was released. Our pastors had been sent to an early screening and returned from it raving about the film and declaring that this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for evangelism. They asked the congregation to dig deep in a special offering and eventually sent thousands of people in the community to see the film (they raised sixty thousand dollars for this purpose). They had small groups and seeker groups prepared to handle the flood of converts. Thousands took the tickets, but not a single one showed any interest in the gospel. Literally, not one. Meanwhile I went to the first screening on the first day and wrote a critical review of the film. Once more thousands, then hundreds of thousands of people, came to the blog and read the review. The number of daily visitors climbed from the hundreds and into the thousands.
And here was the great irony. At this point I was becoming a voice of Reformed theology, of this Young, Restless, Reformed movement, even while I was somewhat torn about such theology. I believed it on one level, but went to a church that denied it. And still I felt that at some level Reformed theology could not be reconciled with a desire to share the gospel. I was one of the voices of the Reformed though I was not fully Reformed myself. I was receiving emails from people asking if I thought they should leave churches that sounded an awful lot like mine. The irony was not lost on me, but I did not know how to reconcile this in my mind.
Problems came to that church, eventually—problems based largely on very poor church leadership structures. By late 2005 we had completely lost our confidence in the leadership and realized that the church would never change; our hopes had been hopelessly naive. Many of our friends realized the same and moved along. The church was just a shadow of its former self. The enthusiasm was gone and now we realized that there was no sound theology to back it up. We had no evangelistic movement and had no good theology. Along the way Aileen and I had been changed, not because of what the church was, but because of what it wasn’t. We couldn’t look back.
We experienced an interesting providence in this time. One day I noticed a comment on my blog from a guy named Paul Martin and for some reason clicked on a link to his blog. I was surprised to see that he was a pastor in Toronto and that he was Reformed. He loved Piper and MacArthur and the guys I had grown to love. I sent him an email and we met for lunch a couple of days later. And that was that—I knew what I had to do. The very next week we visited his church, Grace Fellowship Church, and began to attend there just a short time later. And here we found a church that loved Reformed theology, that loved the gospel and that loved to share the gospel with the lost. Here we found people who were being saved and growing in their faith and sharing that faith with others. And they were doing it all exactly because of their strong grounding in the doctrines of grace. I would be lying if I said that it was an immediately easy transition; in some ways we missed the “bigness” of all that happened in the old church. It took us some time to learn how to love GFC and to learn to be loved by the people there. But all along, we knew it was where we had to be.
We remember that old church church with a strange fondness, yet a genuine frustration. We realize now that it was a church growth church, one founded on the ideology of Rick Warren and Bill Hybels and others like them. We knew nothing of this at the time. We have the vocabulary for it now and would never make the same mistake again. God chose to bless us despite our downplaying the importance of sound doctrine. And he patiently taught us that we could have theology and practice together—that the best practice must come out of the best theology. He taught us that theology truly does matter. And we aren’t looking back.

I am a follower of Jesus Christ, a husband to Aileen and a father to three young children. I worship and serve as a pastor at
Releasing on April 1, The Next
Comments (27)
Thank you, Tim, for this post. Thanks for your vulnerability regarding your journey and your confidence in sound theology and its power. You and I share a sweet friendship with many of the soldiers you’ve mentioned. God bless you.
Wow. Sounds all to familiar! Accept for writing a blog about it. ;-). Thaks for sharing.
My wife and I share, in many parts, your journey, and it was a blessing and divine relief to have found Reformed Theology when we did. We felt so alone and so out of place and out-of-know where, God hit us with the truth! I praise God for bringing all of us to the Doctrines of Grace.
And i praise God for the internet. Without the internet and Reformed blogs, and reformed preaching, who knows where we would be!
God Bless,Kevin
God is good, and patient and wise. Thanks for sharing the details of His sovereignty over your journey…. now I must go read those old posts of yours.
Thanks for giving us a ‘sneak peek’ into your journey towards Reformed Theology Tim.
For many of us, this was our journey as well. The frustrations and discoveries are (were) all too familiar.
I appreciate you going down memory lane; it was actually, in an odd kind of way, quite nostalgic. In a sense, this period of life is where the light bulbs went on for so many of us “Young, Reformed and Restless” folks.
All I can think about when I read this is how kind God was to us to bring you and Aileen and the kids to GFC, brother.
Tim,
I have a question for you. Did you find it hard to share your faith when you were attending this church that claimed to be a reaching church?
Or to put it another way, did you find your experience of sharing the gospel much more freeing and genuine at Grace Fellowship than at your previous church?
I know for me when I was in that situation, I was conflicted between what they wanted me to do in witnessing and what I knew to be the Gospel.
Excellent. This does my heart good to read.
Thank you for sharing this, Tim. It brings tears to my eyes. I can relate to much of what you have shared, except the part about having a reformed church in your city. We have none, and continue to struggle with fluffy seeker-sensitive, heavily Arminian teaching at even the best of churches here. I must rest in the sovereignty of God, even while the churches do not.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It really is an inspiration to me, since I also aspire to be a writer, a published one at least. I’ve been blogging consistently for a year.
God has been really gracious. I haven’t written a book yet, but I met the woman of my dreams through the blog. We are now married.
http://lovedoesntletgo.blogspot.com/2010/03/this-is-power-of-love.html
This is a great life experience narrative… one that resonates with me. I am a church planter in Providence, RI and have to say, much of my own philosophy of ministry has been chiseled out of similar experiences. In fact, I have found that the average evangelical has no structural criteria with which to judge the health of a local Church. And while no Church hits it perfectly, I must say that most evangelical clergy do not even know what targets to aim at in the first place. This is where traditional Reformed Theology that is rooted in “word and sacrament” excels in its presentation of the Christian faith. It looks at the Church through the New Testament lens of Acts 2:42 where the regular ministry of the Church is fundamentally (1) the preaching of he apostle’s doctrine, (2) to covenant community, (2) the sacraments, and (4) prayer. These are the regular rhythms of discipleship that create Gospel formation. I wrote a paper called “Choosing a Church” in response that I have been having a lot of success with in helping Christians form a healthy set of criteria for choosing a church home. http://sjchurch.org/about-us/position-papers
I remember my church (SBC) taking up the forty days of purpose challenge. There was a “fast” associated with it. After a few chapters a few of the young men in our church decided to “fast” reading the book for the remainder of the challenge…
It was also around that time I was shocked and awe’d by a Piper sermon at Passion ‘03 OneDay conference. Haven’t been quite the same since…
Thanks for the brief bio, it’s amazing how God can providentially converge so many different paths back to the doctrines of grace.
Ashamed of the Gospel remains one of my favorite books and was also instrumental in exposing the follies of my former philosophy of ministry.
Praise God for His continuing kindness toward us!
Thank you Tim. I am glad you also took the round about way of telling this story that let us see what it meant for you to work through your questions about reformed theology and how Aileen was a part of all of it. Keep the faith. ~jesse janis
Thanks for sharing your journey with us, Tim. It helps to know that others struggled with some of the same issues along the way.
It brings tears to think of God’s kindness to his people in guiding us so surely along into his truth. All for his name’s sake, his glory, and our good.
Thanking God for you and for this website that meant so very much to this amazed believer beginning in late 2003/early 2004 (and still does).
Thanks Tim, Your story has been inspiring. I am an associate pastor of a church very much like the one you have described and I to have struggled in hope’s of bring change to this church; however one mention of the fact that I’m reformed in my belief would see me surely fired the next moment. There are some major red flag issues at this church as well and it is not unreasonable to think ones theology or lack of theology to be the blame for many a problem we face. Please pray for us as God would allow you. Thank you.
Tim
Much like others have shared I can totally relate to your journey. In fact you have played an indirect role in helping me find the Church my wife and I are now attending. One of the pastors in your Church got me in touch with my present pastor.We are not completely settled in yet, but I am excited at the possibilities God has in His plans.
God works in mysterious ways. I am thankful that God has given you this platform to share your thoughts, wisdom, and passion. It is truly amazing how intricate the details of life are woven into glory being brought to God despite a like of sound teaching. I remember reading Purpose Driven Church prior to diving into Reformed Theology and I was appalled then. I can’t imagine what my thoughts on it would be now. I think it was actually reading that book that made me start to ask a lot questions I was too scared to ask before. Anyhow, thanks again for sharing. I love to hear stories of God’s grace in the lives of brothers and sisters.
Tim you’re story is very similar to mine, with the exception of that I spent my first 6 years as a Christian in a “Hybels” like mega-church and didn’t have a clue about Reformed theology . I think I found you’re blog right around the time I was looking at Calvinism (trying to disprove it of course!) I respected your viewpoints and wondered what type of church you went to, as I wanted to find one like that! But I don’t think you mentioned it in your old layout.
Turns out we found a good church soon after, as I got badly defeated in the battle against Calvin and soon defected. The interesting thing is that later I found out our pastors went to TMS together, and that Paul had even preached here once just a few months before we began attending.
Wow I found you I think about the time you were writing about the Purpose Driven book. I was looking for commentary on the net about it because I was also questioning it. My story so parallels yours almost to the letter. The only difference is I had been part of “a church growth church” their equal “ideology of Rick Warren and Bill Hybels and others like them.” for nearly 30 years. I finally woke up to what was going on and got on the Net to look for some help. Along with the JollyBlogger and you and a few others I got the help I was needing. Help to think through the dramatic change I was about to make.
It was difficult thing to leave that church. As of yet I haven’t found another. It’s been nearly five years now. I don’t regret my choice or the break from “church” things I have taken. I was in leadership and very much involved with the support ministry of choir and the drama team for a very long time. I needed to get away from all that and be a student of theology and apologetics again. I needed to do some reading, a lot of reading. I needed to get in touch again with the reformed teachers I was so enamored with in the 70’s - in college, via Intervarsity Christian Fellowship.For the past few years I have become aquainted again with Schaeffer and CS Lewis. But my greatest joy has been meeting John Piper, John McAthur, Al Mohler [love Al Mohler] and all those folks that seem to be a part of what is called the New Calvinist wave of thinkers. I suppose you are included in that group. I do know that you have been instumental in leading me to them. And if I ever met you, which is probably not likely, but if I did I could not hug you hard enough to thank you for that. So please imagine it done.
It’s time now for me to join a church again. I have missed the fellowship of a church. I have one in mind. It’s a Southern Baptist Church and the pastor seems to hold to a reformed view, jhe has at least indicated that in response to my letter to him. I guess I will see. At least now I feel equipped with the knowledge to ask the right questions and to be more discerning and the passion to remain so.
I feel a bit nervous and some reluctance to find my place in a fellowship again. I don’t relish the position of being the new person. But I know I need to try. I see this as my third stage of my life, and my last opportunity to be of some good influence in some way in the telling of the Gospel. Time again to join in the race.
Thank you again Tim for your example and witness.
~ Ellen
My husband and I are in the midst of making the transition exactly like the one you went through, and I understand the “fondness, but with genuine frustration” feelings you have toward your old church. I am missing the people and familiarity of our old church, yet I cannot countenance the lack of theology and lack of a clear Gospel message there. I am hoping we grow to feel as comfortable and familiar and “at home” with our new church as we were with our old. It is a difficult transition to go through.
“And he patiently taught us that we could have theology and practice together—that the best practice must come out of the best theology.”
I pray, I pray, I pray, that God would help us all be so blessed to be part of such a fellowship.
I’m happy for you, but sad for me and others like me who must serve Christ with joy and diligence in the midst of bad theology and/or bad practice. Some of us have no better alternatives, and we are not in any position to influence for the better.
I feel your pain, although I have recently found a biblically solid Church; for many years I have had no choice but to go to a Church with unsound theology.
However, I believe you are wrong about not being able to influence the Church for the better. God is sovereign and he has you going to this particular Church for a reason. All you can do is live what you believe and respectfully say the truth in love when opportunity presents itself.
In this manner you have more influence than you can ever know. This is tough to see at times, but a truth that we shouldn’t forget. Romans 8:25-29
I am wrestling with combining the theology of the election with the ministry of evangelism. Tim, you have a lot to say to me. Thanks for sharing your honest journey.
This is interesting for me to read this “retrospective,” considering that I had glimpses of it along the way, way-back-when.
Carol wrote
“I am wrestling with combining the theology of the election with the ministry of evangelism. Tim, you have a lot to say to me. Thanks for sharing your honest journey. ”
This might sound a little bit simplistic an answer, but basically God uses means to reach His elect with the Gospel. In this case God uses Christians who are obedient to God’s command to go into all the world and proclaim the Gospel.
The elect do not have a sign on them that reads “elect”, so it is our job as Christians to proclaim the unadulterated Gospel to everyone as the opportunity presents itself. The Holy Spirit then works in connection with the Gospel to reach the elect so they will be irresistibly drawn to Jesus. To me this is a very freeing aspect; all I need to do is deliver the message and God takes care of the rest. I don’t need to feel guilty about whether or not someone becomes a Christian or not, that is God’s business not mine.
Think about that for a moment; God gives us the privilege of proclaiming the Gospel to the lost, but the onus is not on us at the result of the proclamation. God’s Word always accomplishes what He desires for it.
One of the main problems I find with many Church movements today, is not sincerity. It is that they try to do the job of the Holy Spirit. When we do this, we are unknowingly thinking we can do a better job than God.
Reformation is not “taught” in the bible, man-made at best.
What counts are changed lives and fruit of the Spirit. Much said and theologised, God will only look for fruits when we see Him face to face. What i meant is - reformed or not, we are called into account for fruits from the saith we profess and how we lived this life! How we shared the gospel in the lives we live.