The other day I ate some rather extraordinary Thai food for lunch and, on my way out, grabbed a fortune cookie. I cracked it open and read a silly little proverb meant to inspire, I suppose. I wish it had said “Brisk uphill walk after all-you-can-eat Thai is a bad idea.” Never mind. As I waddled my way home, regretting that last bowl of curry (so delicious…), I thought “This fortune sounds like something Joel Osteen would say.” And then it struck me—there is very little difference between Joel and those fortune cookies (except that the cookies are delicious, of course). And now, to prove it, I will give you these twelve quotes. You tell me which are from the fortune cookies and which are from Joel Osteen.
Note: Many, many fortune cookies were harmed in the preparation of this quiz.
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“Happiness is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it.”
“Do all you can to make your dreams come true.”
“Take time to make a difference. Think about how you can make somebody else’s life better.”
“Avoid focusing on the negative aspects of the past.”
“You have something to offer that nobody else can give!”
“When you can’t naturally feel upbeat, it can sometimes help to act as if you did.”
“To affirm is to make firm.”
“Relationships are more important than our accomplishments.”
“Somebody needs your encouragement. Somebody needs to know that you believe in them.”
“The best things in life aren’t things.”
“You will produce what you’re continually seeing in your mind.”
“Judge each day not by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant.”
So how did you do? I would have loved to be able to package this as a slick little quiz, but unfortunately I couldn’t find software that would do that without either attaching unsuitable ads or otherwise polluting your computer.