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Things You Never Wanted To Know
- 01/27/07
- 24
Just for kicks, here is a list of things you never knew about me and never wanted to.
Since we got married, Aileen and I have lived in four different houses. Our current home is the only one we have owned as the previous ones were all rentals.
The first vehicle I ever owned was a Chevrolet S-10 pickup truck. Since then I’ve owned two Toyota Corollas, one Ford Windstar and one Dodge Grand Caravan.
I was raised on a steady diet of the NIV. In grade school and high school we studied the RSV. The church I attended in college used the NKJV. I now use and prefer the ESV.
I have one older brother and three younger sisters.
I started at a new high school for twelfth grade. On my first day at this new school I met a young lady whose first words to me were “Shut up or I’ll kill you. I’m going to absolutely kill you.” She never did kill me and despite her threats I married her a few years later.
The taste of alcohol makes me feel sick to my stomach.
I have been in a wedding party twice, both times as a groomsman. At this point, with most of my friends being married, I don’t like my chances of being in too many more.
The first real job I ever had was pumping gas.
I drink two cans of Coke per day, one just before lunch and one in mid-afternoon. I used to drink two cans of Diet Coke but Aileen decided that Aspartame is evil and that sugar is better for me. I have the remarkable ability to make these two cans of Coke last for pretty well the entire day.
I am incapable of throwing a Coke can away until it has been thoroughly crushed.
My wife and I got married on August 8 of 1998. It was well over one hundred degrees that day and neither the church nor the reception hall had air conditioning. Bad move.
I have never eaten Chinese food or eaten at a Chinese restaurant. I don’t intend to do so anytime soon.
In high school I was sent to the office only once. My transgression was in secretly solidifying the teacher’s coffee. The principal burst out laughing when he heard what I did.
In the eighth grade I ran a smuggling operation where I would disappear from school property during lunch break and run to a local store. I would buy candy and sell them to other kids at marked up prices.
I don’t drink hot beverages.
The first book I ever remember reading is The Pilgrim’s Progress.
I likely only passed eleventh grade chemistry because during the exam I was sitting immediately behind a very clever girl who happened to be left-handed while I am right. I was able to see and copy her answers. Despite having repented of this, I still feel guilty about it.
I am a follower of Jesus Christ, a husband to Aileen and a father to three young children. I worship and serve as a pastor at 
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Comments (24)
Wow…now I feel even more connected to you and your site, even though you don’t drink hot beverages (I drink coffee everyday, and have been for near on 20 years) and don’t like Chinese food (my favorite), you DO drink coke, which I love and is my only beverage of choice…I hate Pepsi.
What is your favourite sports team in Toronto? Go Jays Go!
I once hit my high school science teacher in the head with a flying pen … accidentally, of course. The class thought it was funny. She didn’t. You can guess where I ended up, while she gave the rest of the class a lecture on how accidents can kill people.
You may have repented of the cheating…but have you confessed this sin to the school?
Your diploma may be rescinded because of this and you may now actually be a highschool drop out!
This of course may start a chain reaction of negations from that point, resulting in everything you accomplished since then being a lie.
What a bummer!
Thanks Tim, that was fun!
I cheated my way through my first semester of Bible college (I was pretty sinful at the time and not even sure if I was regenerate). After graduation, I confessed it to the Dean but they never rescinded my diploma. I don’t feel nearly as guilty about it now as I did before I confessed. Maybe that’s what the Lord wants you to do (?).
Thanks for the personal info. I’ve been reading your blog every day for months and now really feel like I know you well. Kind of weird how blog stuff works - I know you better than my next door neighbor - and you have no idea who I am! Maybe I’ll say “hi” at the TFL Pastor’s Conference.
I need to know how you solidified your teacher’s coffee. That’s right, need.
“…one Dodge Grand Caravan.”
I know you live in Oakville. Just out of curiosity, did you buy your Caravan at Oakville Dodge, 4th Line and Speers Road? I used to be sales manager there.
Take Care
I’m with David on the coffee solidifying front. That was the first thought when I read it - inquiring minds want to know….HOW??
——bill
I also want to know how you solidified your teachers coffee. Sounds like a fun prank to play on my roommates that are coffee snobs.
“Just out of curiosity, did you buy your Caravan at Oakville Dodge, 4th Line and Speers Road? I used to be sales manager there.”
No. I got the van from a place called Somerville.
As for the coffee solidifier, I was in a gag shop and found some kind of a powder you can add to beverages to immediately solidify them. It actually turned them into some really thick kind of gel. It was thick enough that you could turn your cup over and it wouldn’t come out. But it solidified it quickly enough that the beverage still looked pretty much the way it did before.
I never managed to find that stuff again.
Looks like this may be pretty similar.
I don’t drink hot beverages for refreshment (even good coffee tastes like burnt rubber). But I do occasionally drink a hot chocolate or apple cider to warm up. I guess Canadians are used to cold weather — we Georgians aren’t. ;-)
Chinese food is something I like to do once a month or so.Chicken & Broccoli, an eggroll, and Wonton soup, and I’m sitting pretty, and ready to munch out.And it’s only $7.00!
How about you try real Chinese food, cooked by a Chinese person - for that matter, get a few friends from different provinces within China for a really diverse experience - rather than what passes for it at a Cantonese takeout? No Chinese person I know would ever eat from a “Chinese” takeaway in the UK - I don’t imagine the US & Canada are much different! But what I’ve had cooked for me by Chinese friends, now, hmmmm….
Tim . . .
I think you may be wrong about at least one thing. Since I believe you have a daughter or two lying around the house these days, I’d say your chances of being in a wedding again are a lot better than you think! LOL . . .
>>Looks like this may be pretty similar.>>
Do you realize what kind of hit count you have just solidified for this vendor? (pardon the pun…)
Tim,I’m a professional magician. The coffee solidifying stuff is a product that magicians call “slush powder”. Here it is: link
I enjoy your blog. Let me know when Reformed Eye for the Arminian Guy begins casting. I’ve got some friends I want to recommend.
Thanks,Scott Davis
You know, I decided a long time ago that drinking would be a lot of fun if it weren’t for that bad alcohol taste.
I have been in a wedding party twice, both times as a groomsman.
Never as a groom?
I have never eaten Chinese food or eaten at a Chinese restaurant. I don’t intend to do so anytime soon.
As trangre pointed out, that’s not really Chinese food (I still love the General Tso’s Chicken). There are a lot of good Chinese restaurants… in China. Actually, based on personal experience, there are plenty of bad ones there as well!
Then again, why travel all the way to the other side of the world? Just come down to Texas, and my wife will whip up something for you.
P.S. It seems like nobody is ambivalent about Chinese food — either they love it or they hate it.
I have never eaten Chinese food or eaten at a Chinese restaurant. I don’t intend to do so anytime soon.
If you could, come by Singapore and try the chinese food here! It’s very different from the ones in US, and China. Wide range of other types of food too. (By the way, out of curiosity, have you traveled to Asia?)
Thanks for posting this. Kinda fun just to think back at the wacky things we did when we were younger… (of course, still young at heart!)
Love reading this site - your writings and insights has been very helpful and encouraging!
All the best to your upcoming book - and do hope I can get hold of a copy here in Singapore!
Whatever prompted Aileen to say she was going to kill you?
I have never eaten Chinese food or eaten at a Chinese restaurant. I don’t intend to do so anytime soon.
Perhaps you ought to try some? You do not know what you are missing out on.
Ask your Chinese friends to take you out to a restaurant they go to and let them do the ordering. You won’t regret it.
Shut up or I’ll kill you.
Sounds like an Oklahoma girl to me. I guess you guys just wanted to make the fighting and making up more convenient?
Chinese is definitely best when you’re in one of those little family restaurants where they cook everything right there in front of you.
Josh”…the word of God is not bound.”—2 Timothy 2:9
Hey there Tim, Chris Farenhorst here. I was just talking with Jeremy Veldman last night and he mentioned that he talked with you recently and told me about this sight. Would love to hear how you are doing etc. You can email me if you like. I am currently living in Beamsville with my wife. Chris