Things You Never Wanted To Know

Just for kicks, here is a list of things you never knew about me and never wanted to.

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Since we got married, Aileen and I have lived in four different houses. Our current home is the only one we have owned as the previous ones were all rentals.

The first vehicle I ever owned was a Chevrolet S-10 pickup truck. Since then I’ve owned two Toyota Corollas, one Ford Windstar and one Dodge Grand Caravan.

I was raised on a steady diet of the NIV. In grade school and high school we studied the RSV. The church I attended in college used the NKJV. I now use and prefer the ESV.

I have one older brother and three younger sisters.

I started at a new high school for twelfth grade. On my first day at this new school I met a young lady whose first words to me were “Shut up or I’ll kill you. I’m going to absolutely kill you.” She never did kill me and despite her threats I married her a few years later.

The taste of alcohol makes me feel sick to my stomach.

I have been in a wedding party twice, both times as a groomsman. At this point, with most of my friends being married, I don’t like my chances of being in too many more.

The first real job I ever had was pumping gas.

I drink two cans of Coke per day, one just before lunch and one in mid-afternoon. I used to drink two cans of Diet Coke but Aileen decided that Aspartame is evil and that sugar is better for me. I have the remarkable ability to make these two cans of Coke last for pretty well the entire day.

I am incapable of throwing a Coke can away until it has been thoroughly crushed.

My wife and I got married on August 8 of 1998. It was well over one hundred degrees that day and neither the church nor the reception hall had air conditioning. Bad move.

I have never eaten Chinese food or eaten at a Chinese restaurant. I don’t intend to do so anytime soon.

In high school I was sent to the office only once. My transgression was in secretly solidifying the teacher’s coffee. The principal burst out laughing when he heard what I did.

In the eighth grade I ran a smuggling operation where I would disappear from school property during lunch break and run to a local store. I would buy candy and sell them to other kids at marked up prices.

I don’t drink hot beverages.

The first book I ever remember reading is The Pilgrim’s Progress.

I likely only passed eleventh grade chemistry because during the exam I was sitting immediately behind a very clever girl who happened to be left-handed while I am right. I was able to see and copy her answers. Despite having repented of this, I still feel guilty about it.

More in Hymn Stories:

  1. What Could Be
  2. Cutting It Straight
  3. Book Review – The Fallacy Detective
  4. Pious and Reclusive for Christ
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