I don’t know what the Catalyst Conference is and I don’t know how they know who I am. A few days ago I went to my post office box and found there are a rather large package. I do not receive a lot of large boxes at the post office—it is usually either books or mysterious letters from conspiracy theorists who just *have* to let me know who is taking over the world and why (no joke). The rather large box contained a strangely-shaped triangular box which, it turns out, was an advertisement for this upcoming Catalyst Conference. Because of the sheer originality of the package, I snapped a few photos and figured I could post them here.

So here is the funky triangular box that was inside the rather plain brown shipping box.

And here is a close-up of one of the sides of the box.

Cracking the box open, I found all kinds of interesting things.

And here they are. A basketball and hoop, magnets, fliers, temporary tattoos, paper footballs, some kind of weird foam stuff, a deck of triangular cards and so on. Almost all of it was branded with the Catalyst name and logo.

I don’t think I’m going to be heading to this conference. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m too old to do so. But at the very least, I’ve got to give them kudos for the originality of their advertising…

The Bible Experience is a unique product. Featuring a unique cast, it offers what is surely a unique recording of the Bible.

Hear the words of the Bible brought to life like never before. Inspired By…The Bible Experience: New Testament Audio CD is a fully-dramatized reading of the Bible performed by an unprecedented ensemble of distinguished African-American actors, musicians, and personalities. The cast, including recognizable voices as Denzel Washington, Blair Underwood, and Angela Bassett, reads the Bible using the accessible and trusted Today's New International Version (TNIV).

While people commonly speak of attempts to “bring the Bible to life,” I object to using this expression in connection with Scripture. After all, Hebrews 4:12 tells us that Scripture is already alive: “the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” While people who speaking of “bringing the Bible to life” may not necessarily be making a statement about the nature of the word of God, I do feel it is best to avoid this kind of careless language lest we feel that the Bible, read with expression or dramatized, is somehow more living and more active than the Bible read quietly or silently.

That small critique aside, this product is really just a recording of the Bible (in the TNIV version) read by an ensemble cast of popular African American actors, musicians and other celebrities. It is “lightly dramatized” meaning that it is read with a good deal of passion and expression, and there are ambient noises, crowd reactions, and so on. Unlike versions of Scripture read by a single narrator (think Max McLean reading the ESV), this one has different actors reading the words of the different biblical characters.

Inspired By…The Bible Experience breaks new ground in the presentation of the Bible. Unique among audio Bible productions, Inspired By…The Bible Experience is a captivating performance of the Bible presented by an ensemble of today’s-top name artists, musicians, directors, and award-winning producers.

Inspired By…The Bible Experience features a cross-generational and cross-cultural roster of talent that connects a wide variety of entertainment genres and personalities. With nearly 200 celebrities and notable personalities recorded to date, this historic production features stars from across the entertainment spectrum.

Cast members include:

• Samuel L. Jackson as the voice of God
• Blair Underwood as Jesus
• Denzel Washington as the Lover of the Song of Solomon and his wife as the Beloved.
• Angela Bassett as Esther
• Cuba Gooding Jr. as Judas

The New Testament is currently available in stores and will be followed in 2007 by the Old Testament. In all, the cast numbers over 200, all of whom are African American celebrities. It is available digitally or on CD.

I did not listen to the entire series of CDs (there are nineteen of them for the New Testament) but the portions I did listen to, primarily from the gospels, were really quite well done. This product is certainly different, but I can see nothing inherently wrong with it! There were some strange moments, and there is something more than a little strange about hearing voices that are well-known though in far different contexts. Still, the recording is done well and the dramatizations are really quite good. This isn’t a product I am likely to use very often, but I can understand its appeal. I certainly hope it can find a market and that the words of Scripture can go beyond the ears of those who hear it, beyond the mouths of those who read it, and penetrate their hearts, just as we would hope and expect for words that are living, active and sharper than any two-edged sword.

The Outdoor Bible is the flagship product for Bardin & Marsee Publishing, a small publishing company based in Canton, GA. Available in the New Testament and in the New American Standard Bible translation, this Bible’s claim to fame is that it is designed for the great outdoors. Made to be used by the outdoorsman, the Bible is printed on durable, tear-resistant plastic material, making it fully waterproof and able to withstand the rigors of the hiking, camping and other activities. It comes packaged in a small burlap bag, a digitized camouflage bag or a God’s country camouflage bag (which is camouflage but with a picture of a cross on it). The product includes six volumes, each of which is folded like a map on 10” x 13” sheets and contains one or more books of the Bible (Volume 1 - Matthew and Mark, Volume 2 - Luke, Volume 3 - John, Volume 4 - Acts and Romans, Volume 5 - 1 Corinthians thru Philemon, Volume 6 - Hebrews thru Revelation).

THE OUTDOOR BIBLE® is printed on 100% plastic material, which makes it a fully waterproof Bible. It can be rained on, snowed on, or fully submerged in a body of water - with no damage.

THE OUTDOOR BIBLE® is made to withstand the rigors of the outdoors - whether used on a backcountry trail, a boating trip, or at a park with your family - THE OUTDOOR BIBLE® will endure your chosen adventure.

THE OUTDOOR BIBLE® will maintain its form during everyday handling and is resistant to typical outdoor wear and tear.

The Bible can be submerged in water or even frozen without adversely affecting it. Because it is plastic and waterproof, the Bible has a possible application for those who do not spend a great deal of time in the outdoors. It can be flattened and pressed against the wall of a shower where it should stick and make for good reading in the shower.

I quite like this piece of ChurchMerch. It fills a niche and does so in style and with a solid translation of the Bible. It is a great product to consider for the outdoorsman in your life. The only real drawback I can think of it is that the type is quite small and would be difficult to read in low-light situations. Beyond that small complaint, I consider it a fine product.

You can read more about it, watch a video or buy it at theoutdoorbible.com. It is also available from sellers associated with Amazon.

ChurchMerch is a new feature here at Challies Dot Com. Under this heading I intend to examine some of the merchandise that is being and will be marketed to Christians. I will expand a little bit beyond merchandise and may also examine movies, television shows and other media targeted at the “faith and values” crowd. As this audience grows, so too does the amount of material intended for it and we will no doubt see the good, the bad and the ugly of ChurchMerch.

Today I will take a brief look at The Original Love Song, a CD recording of the Song of Solomon.

The Original Love Song brings The Song of Solomon to life with a masterful blend of sensuous dialogue and musical imagery… tastefully weaving the most famous love poems of all time into a compelling theatrical style story with an enchanting score by Academy and Golden Reel Award winning film composer, Alan Howarth… Each line of The Original Love Song was hand-picked, word-for-word from six different translations of the Bible, retaining the charm and poetic flow of the old-world vernacular. Every verse is then complimented with its own enchanting musical composition; capturing the message and essence of the spoken word with compelling aural imagery… The Original Love Song makes a perfect wedding gift, a thoughtful anniversary gift, and a wonderful Valentines Day gift… as well as a way to help rekindle romance, share your feelings, or get couples communicating in your marriage ministry.

In other words, The Original Love Song is a recording that attempts to capture a sensuous, erotic feel with both the spoken word and the background music. According to the producers, “The Original Love Song is a moving and sensual interpretation that deals with intimacy and virtue… [that] literally whisks the listener off to a very special place of sensual innocence and spiritual passion; a place so deep and so real, that many come away deeply moved, yet spiritually and romantically invigorated.” The Tampa Tribune says “Couples who want to put a little spiritual spice in the bedroom can get it from a breathy recitation of Song of Solomon, accompanied by mood-setting soundtrack.” The words are spoken in a sultry tone clearly intended to convey sexual desire. The music contributes to this atmosphere.

The CD booklet contains a separate section for men and women, each offering gender-specific advice. For example, for women it suggests “Compliment him often. In tracks 3 and 11 in The Original Love Song, the Shulammite calls Solomon a ‘stag or hart.’ In today’s language, stag means stud. So once or twice a week when your husband comes home from work, say: ‘How are you, Stud?’ He is a stud! He’s the only stud you’ve got. I guarantee you, he’ll like it.”

Like any good ChurchMerch, The Original Love Song is available in multiple versions and with multiple options. The CD is available with two different covers, there is a Wedding Bundle (which includes “an excellent book on spiritual bonding entitled ‘A Marriage After God’s Own Heart’ by noted Christian author Dr. David Clarke” and comes bundled in a royal blue velvet pouch, de-bossed with the ‘One Flesh’ male / female symbol. There are also gift pouches that can be purchased separately.

You can learn all about it www.originallovesong.com. You can read descriptions and reviews, meet the contributors and listen to audio samples. And, of course, you can buy it for yourself.

My opinion of this piece of ChurchMerch is that there is really nothing inherently wrong with it. The Song of Solomon is clearly intended to be a book about love and sexual desire. I don’t see anything unbiblical about setting it to a bit of music and reciting it in a tone that would convey much of the book’s intent. This is not to say that I enjoyed it. The fact is that I found it more than a little corny and certainly could never use it the way it is intended. If you can listen to this without rolling your eyes or giggling with embarrassment, you’re a better man than me. I give it points for originality and for quality of presentation, but little more than that.

If you know of some ChurchMerch I absolutely need to examine, feel free to drop me a note.

So a friend of mine saw a rather strange item on my Amazon wishlist and decided he would, as a bit of a gag I suppose, buy it for me. And so in today’s mail I found a copy of “Your Best Life Now: The Game.” The box declares that it is “Inspired by the #1 New York Times Bestseller” by Joel Osteen and says, “The 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential.” I immediately cracked open the box and set the game up on the parquet floor in my office. I did not have time to really figure out how the game works, but did snap a few poor quality photos of it (you can click on any of the pictures for larger versions).

So here is the box. Very exciting. Joel looks happy, as always. I would be too if someone turned my book into a board game.

And here is what the game looks like when it’s all setup. The board is pretty bare. Players begin at the “Today” space and work their way towards the “Tomorrow” space. Or as the manual says, “You’re starting the game ‘Today’ and playing for your full potential ‘Tomorrow.’” I wonder if backsliders can play the game backwards.

Players progress through seven levels in the game. Each level has a challenge that must be overcome in order to progress to the next stage. Naturally, these levels relate to the seven steps of living at your full potential. To begin the game, each player takes a piece of paper and writes a goal he or she would like to reach. These papers are folded and placed in the “My Miracle” envelope which is then placed under the “Tomorrow” space on the board. Each player is also dealt seven Wonder Word cards and two Have Faith cards (which can be used to keep a player from missing a turn later in the game). Tokens are placed on the board, the youngest person at the table rolls the dice, and the game begins.

Level 1 is Enlarge Your Vision. At this stage players select an Enlarge Your Vision card, each of which has a picture or image on it. Players search for images within the image (such as a cat in a cloud or a dollar bill in Joel Osteen’s eyes). There are no right or wrong answers.

Level 2 is Develop a Healthy Self Image. At this level players, after turning the 15-second timer, make positive statements about themselves while looking into the tiny, barely-reflective mirror provided with the game. A player who cannot complete this challenge, either due to low self-esteem or uncontrollable laughter, will lose a turn (unless he wishes to use a Have Faith card). “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog-gone it, people like me.”

Level 3 is Discover the Power of Your Thoughts and Words. At this stage players draw a card with a negative word on it and they must build positive words off this negative word much like a crossword puzzle or really easy Sudoku. Players have fifteen seconds to list at least three positive words. If a player cannot do this within fifteen seconds, he can play a Have Faith card. In this case he must also draw a Wonder Word card and make a positive statement using the word on this card.

Level 4 is Let Go of the Past. At this level players must tell stories or list items about their past based on suggestions on the Let Go of the Past cards. If a player cannot do this and opts to play a Have Faith card, he must make a statement about his past using any of the Wonder Word cards.

Level 5 is Find Strength Through Adversity. This time around players draw a card and read a statement about a famous person who faced adversity (I’m guessing Jesus, Stephen and the martyrs are represented). He will then explain how he has faced similar adversity and succeeded. If he cannot do this, he can play a Have Faith card, in which case he will need to make a statement about deriving a positive from a negative based on a Wonder Word card.

Level 6 is Live to Give. The first player to reach this stage opens the My Miracle envelope and reads all of the goals aloud. Each of the players takes the other players’ goals and writes a “Potential Promise” for each goal. This is a promise to help the winner of the game to reach his goal and help him live life to its full potential. The potential promises are placed back into the envelope. Subsequent players to reach the level must use a Wonder Word card and make a statement about giving using that word.

Level 7 is the exciting conclusion. Each player is asked to make statements and tell stories about things that make them happy (Like squirrels. Squirrels make me happy with their silly chattering and funny teeth). A player must make a statement or tell a story according to the instructions on the card.

The first person to reach “Tomorrow” wins the game. He opens the My Miracle envelope and reads about the goals and promises of all players. The other players must now help the winner reach his goal by fulfilling their promises to live Your Best Life Now! No word on whether the losers get to have a good life too, or if they are condemned to mediocrity.

And that’s the game. I feel dirty.

You know, as I read through the game I was drawn, somewhat nostalgically, to an episode of The Simpsons I watched many years ago. In that episode Springfield has gotten a professional soccer team. At the beginning of the first match, soccer hero Pele is paraded onto the field. He stands at center field and says, “Pele is king of the soccer field. To be king of your kitchen, use Crestfield wax paper.” The owner of the team then hands him a giant bag of money and Pele marches off the field. I can’t help but think that this game represents just that. “Endless Games” handed Osteen a big ol’ bag of money to use his name and the title of his book. I’m guessing, though, that I am the only person in the world who actually owns this game.

My sister and brother-in-law are visiting us next week and I’ll be sure to drag it out and play a game of it with them. Should be fun. I’ll let you know how we enjoy it. Meanwhile, begin to anticipate the imminent arrival of The Discipline of Discernment: The Game, coming your way in the Spring of 2008!