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Tim Challies

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Personal Reflections

February 03, 2007

I am drawing ever-closer to the deadline to hand my book to the publisher. The current word count is somewhere around 43,000 and the page count around 140 (though obviously the page count can change a whole lot based on the spacing, font selection and so on). As work continues and as the book draws closer to completion, I am becoming increasingly excited and, even better, increasingly convinced that this book may actually have something to say (imagine that!).

There have been a lot of pretty neat God moments along the way. A few weeks ago I had decided to focus a day’s writing on a passage in Hebrews, but did not have a lot in the way of Hebrews resources. The mail showed up just a few minutes after I had sat down at my desk and, when I opened it up, found a review copy of a newly published commentary on Hebrews. It addressed head-on the issues I was writing about that day and proved very helpful to me. Just yesterday I decided to focus on a particular passage in Ephesians. Once again the mail showed up and there, courtesy of a publisher, was an Ephesians study guide that I had not ordered and had not expected. And once again it proved very helpful. Since this project began I’ve seen irrefutable evidence of God’s assistance with this project; I’ve seen it time and again. These little moments, these little moments of providence, have been greatly encouraging to me.

I anticipate that the manuscript will be ready for me to send to the publisher around six weeks from now (eight weeks at the lastest). That may be a tad ambitious, but I do hope I can make that deadline. However, for that to happen, I think I am going to need a lot of prayer. My spring live-blogging schedule begins in just two weeks (with a trip to California for the Resolved Conference) and between then and the end of March I’ll be making yet another trip to California for the Shepherd’s Conference, a trip to Orlando for Ligonier and a trip to Atlanta to visit my family. And, of course, I have a lot of web design projects underway with new ones set to begin soon. If this book is going to be completed, I’ll have to be very careful with my time, something that has always given me trouble. I am also going to have to steal some time from my paying job in order to work on the book which could potentially introduce financial difficulties (especially with a particularly horrendous tax bill facing me not too long from now, for such are the joys of being self-employed). Despite a busy schedule I’m confident that I can keep all of these balls in the air, but only with God’s help.

And so I’d ask for your prayers. Please pray that God will continue to bless my efforts in writing this book; pray that God will help me organize my time and use my time wisely; pray that God will keep me from cutting into my time with Him in order to work on other projects; pray that God would provide for us financially. I covet your prayers and thank you in advance for them!

January 31, 2007

Being a parent is wonderful. Parenting is filled with moments of joy and happiness and excitement and love. But it’s also filled with moments of almost overwhelming frustration. We’ve had plenty of great times and plenty of awfully frustrating times in the past few weeks. A couple of days ago Aileen and I were talking about the children (our two older children in particular) and I said, “You know, what I find most frustrating is that they seriously think we’re out to get them. They really think that we are always raining on their parades rather than looking out for their best interests.” And sure, there are times that we are acting selfishly, putting our own interests ahead of those of our children. But far more often than not, we are truly interested in protecting them, and most often we need to protect them from themselves—from their own silliness, willfulness or ignorance.

“No, really, pants that end four inches above your ankle look really, really silly!” “No, those are long johns, not pants. You wear them under your pants, not instead of pants!” “You do NOT want to eat that. Trust me!” And so often the response we get is anger or frustration rather than gratitude. If you are a parent you know exactly what I am referring to. Children are constantly doing, saying and attempting things that are going to put them in danger or perhaps even just make them look and feel ridiculous. We are constantly reacting to these things, trying to help them understand what is best for them—what will serve them rather than hurt them, what will be good for them rather than harm them. It is a constant battle to help them understand how to live in this world.

Over the past few days I have been reading the manuscript of a book that will be published later this year. It is a book dealing with relationships between men and women. It is quite atypical as these books go, focusing on complementarity and focusing on the gospel. In reading the book I was struck by how the sin of my children is really so similar to my own and to the sin that has plagued humanity for so many years.

You know the story of Genesis 3 as well as I do. That crafty serpent comes to Eve and says to her:

“Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.

God, the one who created the world, told Adam and Eve how they were to live in it. They were able to enjoy everything the world had to offer, but for one tree. The whole world was open to them but for this one small thing. But we all know how it happened. Satan convinced Adam and Eve that God was not really looking out for their best interests at all. No, God was being selfish to deny Adam and Eve the fruit from that tree. He was holding them back, keeping them from being like Him, knowing good and evil. And so they rebelled. They did things their way. They lost confidence in God’s benevolence and gobbled down the fruit. But no sooner had they eaten that fruit than they saw that they were naked. Their eyes were opened, the Bible says. Their hearts were shut. The wages of their sin would be death. I can’t help but wonder how long it took after they sank their teeth into the fruit that they saw some innocent little creature be pounced on and devoured before their eyes. How long before they saw blood flow and began to witness the carnage they had unleashed?

Since that day we have all rebelled against authority. We no longer believe in the benevolence of those who lead us. Children naturally assume that their parents are out to get them. Wives believe that their husbands are looking out for their own interests above anyone else’s. Citizens assume that governments are shortchanging us. And all of us believe that God is being less than forthcoming, less than loving. We believe that God is giving us something less than what is best. We react to his loving commands with groans and grumbles and frustration.

The frustration I feel with my children when they rebel against my concern and my love for them, must be only the faintest shadow of the frustration God feels towards me. They rebel against me in small ways while I rebel against Him in ways that are so much bigger and so much more significant. The sin of my children has given me opportunity to reflect on the state of my own heart and to repent of my sin of rebellion against God’s authority. Parenting is sometimes a delight and sometimes a frustration, but always an opportunity to learn and to grow. I’m grateful that God let me learn this lesson.

January 23, 2007

This thing called blogging is not nearly as easy as it looks, and this is especially true in a blog that receives a good deal of traffic. I suppose if you were to plot out the history of this blog in terms of its traffic, you would end up with a graph showing a slow but steady rise from the left of the graph (representing the time I began the site) to the right (representing today). I do not follow traffic all that closely and have never invested any time in streamlining this site for search engine optimization and the like. I just like to write and to attempt to encourage and interact with other believers. And yet a quick look at my site’s statistics shows that I should anticipate more than a million unique visits in 2007. Traffic continues to grow. And really I hate the word “traffic.” After all, each visit is made not only by a computer, but by a person. Traffic seems so dehumanizing. As the readership of this site has increased, so have the types of people who read it.

When a blog first starts out, there are typically only a few readers and the readers that do spend time at the site tend to agree with the author. When I first began writing at this site, it was only my family that read it. Eventually a few friends and friends of friends began to read it. But as it grew, people from further outside my circles began to show up. Soon it was being read by people I had never met and people whose theology was light years away from mine. As the readership grew, so did the number of theological perspectives. Needless to say, where there is a large number of perspectives, there will be a large number of disagreements.

So while today some people read the site because they tend to agree with my theological perspectives, others read it precisely because they do not. Some read it simply because they’ve heard about it and want to know what the fuss is about. Still others read it because they want to comment in the hope that people will follow a comment link back to their own blog. Some probably read it because Phil Johnson got it in his head to begin calling me “The World’s Most Famous Christian Blogger” and people who saw that title simply wanted to figure out who I am. Either way, where people used to read the site primarily because they felt some kind of affinity with me, people now read for any number of reasons.

This has introduced an interesting phenomenon and one I’ve only noticed recently. It seems that the site is now at the point that, no matter what I write, someone will disagree with me (and may just disagree vehemently). If I mention a contentious issue like the TNIV, I can be assured that someone will be bothered that I did not provide a blanket condemnation of the translation. But, of course, had I done so, others would have been bothered that I overstepped my bounds. This is inevitable, I realize. But it is requiring me to make adjustments to my mindset in regards to the blog. I am usually a person who shuns controversy and it is quite foreign to me to have to deal with people who strongly disagree with me.

I have also come to realize the importance of theological precision. I do not consider the vast majority of what I write to be systematic theology or even to be true teaching. Often I just reflect on what has been playing through my mind and make those reflections public. Yesterday, for example, I wrote about prayer and said that prayer is not something I do for me, but something I do for God. A few commenters noted this and disagreed with me, saying that there is nothing God needs from us. I do not wish to open this can of worms except to say that yesterday’s article was not meant to be a theology of prayer. Really it was more of a personal reflection upon the subject of prayer. The difference was clear in my mind and yet I suppose I failed to convey that. Either way, I’ve come to see that I need to attempt to ensure greater accuracy and precision. I may have to scale back a little bit on my personal reflections since, by definition, they do not always represent fully-formed theology. They are personal and perhaps are often better left that way.

There have been times in the past when this site has undergone something of a transition. What used to be a site that displayed photos of my family morphed into a site that was a little bit like a watchblog. And when I got tired of that game, it morphed into whatever it is now. I’ve got a feeling that another transition time is coming and that it is going to have to come if this site is to remain a useful resource. But to this point I am not sure what this transition involves. I probably won’t know until I can look back on it.

I do not say all of this to complain. It’s just that this is a new phenomenon to me and one that is going to take some adjustment. I suppose it comes with the territory and is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s just something I have become aware of and something I need to ensure I am equipped to deal with. So please be patient because I’m still learning.

January 08, 2007

Prayer Answered:

R. Albert Mohler Jr., president of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, was moved out of intensive care and into a private room at Baptist Hospital East this afternoon and continues to improve following complications from abdominal surgery that was performed Dec. 28.

Russell D. Moore, dean of the School of Theology and senior vice president for academic administration at Southern, said Mohler is in good spirits following a difficult weekend.

“I am extremely encouraged after having just left his room,” Moore said Monday afternoon. “He is eating, he is in good spirits and it looks as though the situation is completely under control at this point. He looks strong, is in remarkably good spirits and is even cracking jokes.

“Dr. Mohler is very appreciative of the prayers of God’s people and the outpouring of support from the churches and from the community.”

Mohler was placed in intensive care Friday after developing blood clots in both lungs. After nearly a week of intense abdominal pain, he was admitted to the hospital on Dec. 27 and underwent surgery the following day.

While physicians reported that the procedure went well and that Mohler’s abdominal issues were remedied, the development of blood clots led doctors to move Mohler to the hospital’s intensive care unit.

Moore asked that the seminary community and local churches continue to pray for Mohler and his family during the recovery. It is not yet known when Mohler will be released from the hospital, however Moore said the improvement in Mohler’s condition along with his high spirits were readily evident.

“He has a stack of books and articles in his bed along with a massive number of highlighters,” Moore said, “so the Albert Mohler I know is back.”

Prayer Requested:

Let’s continue to pray that God will heal Dr. Mohler and get him back to serving Him in his home, church and seminary.

January 07, 2007

As I continue to press on with writing The Discipline of Discernment and as I see the book starting to come together I am slowly beginning to consider some of the finer details. For example, I have decided to add a “Key Thought” to the end of each chapter. I always appreciate when authors are deliberate about ensuring that the reader has understood the purpose of each chapter (Bryan Chapell’s Praying Backwards is an excellent example of this) and that the reader understands the flow of the book (and I think Alex Chediak’s With One Voice does an admirable job in this regard). Because my argument builds from chapter-to-chapter I feel it is important that people understand each of the components and that they remember what has already been covered. Other details may include whether there will be an index, a Scripture index, and so on.

Another item I am considering is study questions or application questions. This would be a short list of five or ten questions at the end of each chapter that would allow people to think about the topic and begin to apply it to their lives. However, I am not convinced that such a guide would be worth the effort. I will, to my shame, admit that when I read a book it is very rare that I pause at the study questions. I would not be surprised to learn that most other people also pass over them.

And so I thought I would take this public. This is not to say that I will necessarily base my decision on the consensus view here, but more that I am simply interested in learning about your reading habits. And thus I ask: Do you read the study guides or application questions in the books you read? Do you consider the questions and answer them, or do you simply pass over them and move to the next chapter?

January 04, 2007

My work on The Discipline of Discernment has taken me to many places in the Bible and to many of the books on my bookshelves. I have been surprised and delighted to see how God has been preparing me to write this book, for many of the books I have read in the past few years tie directly into what I feel the Bible says about discernment. I’ve found help in books by many authors and on a variety of topics.

Some of the areas I have researched in connection to my book have been little more than rabbit trails. As I’ve done the work I’ve found that they are dead ends and do not tie into discernment at all. Others have proven to be far more valuable. One area I was researching on the weekend was an area in which I read quite extensively a couple of years ago: knowing and doing God’s will. As I looked into this area, I browsed through several books I had read in years past. And this led me to a book by Jim Elliff.

In his small but helpful book Led By The Spirit, Jim Elliff describes Christians he terms “illuminists” - people who, when confronted by difficult decisions in life, seek guidance from God by getting a series of impressions which they believes come as God directly impacts the spirit. This term is not to be confused with illumination, which is the Spirit’s work of illuminating the words of Scripture to believers. Elliff used to practice this kind of decision-making so knows it well. I also know it well and have often encountered Christians who place a great deal of emphasis on listening for and heeding these impressions. With some of these people it is clear that they are not hearing God-given impressions for God would not give the kind of guidance they attribute to Him. With other people, and here I think primarily of some of the Charismatic Christians I have met recently, it is not so easy to discount the impressions. They truly do appear to be listening to God and to be responding to Him in a way that is consistent with Scripture. In fact, meeting such people has really made me wrestle with my position on this issue.

Regardless of your take on this issue, I think you will find this quote from Elliff both helpful and meaningful:

God may use the sincere individual who gets his guidance the illuminist’s way. He may bless him. He may honor his faith more than his method. I am quite sure that God always condescends to our imperfections. And if there is immaturity, we must realize that God will often use in our zealous immaturity what he disallows in our maturity.

The Great Awakening preacher, George Whitefield (1714-1770), who had such tendencies in his earlier days, later commented, “I am a man of like passions with others, and consequently may have sometimes mistaken nature for grace, imagination for revelation.” He put away his illuministic patterns as he grew in Christ. Yet, it is important to note that he was used in those earlier days just as dramatically as in later life.

I do not mean to say that those who listen to impressions are necessarily immature. Rather I’d point you to a wider application, and one that I have found very reassuring and encouraging. Elliff is absolutely correct when he says that God condescends to our imperfections. I believe this is especially the case when our imperfections are due to immaturity in the faith. God may see fit to use zealous immaturity. But, as time passes, He expects that we grow in our knowledge and our faith. And when this happens His expectations of us no doubt increase.

But I thank God that He does condescend to our imperfections and to my imperfections. Knowing myself as I do, I know that I offer Him more imperfection than perfection. I know that I am often zealous in my imperfection and am grateful that He chooses to honor this zeal, even when I am just plain wrong.

January 02, 2007

As you may know, I am in the midst of writing my first book. I am now four months into what I hope will be a six-month writing period. This will be followed many many months of editing, proofing and whatever else happens between the time a manuscript is submitted and a book arrives in the mail.

If you have read this site for any length of time, you’ll know that I am a lover of books and that I read near-constantly. I know a lot about books, but until recently have known very little about actually writing one. A few days ago I began to think about the past few months and what I have learned thus far. I thought I’d share a few of these things (though I’m sure there will be much more to learn as this project continues). So here is what I have learned so far from writing a book.

The Bible says things far better than I ever could. While I am not sure that the following will survive the editing process, it was something I wanted to add to the book’s introduction for my own benefit so I could read it again and again through the months I spend writing: “You will no doubt note that I refer to and quote the Bible many times throughout this book. I do so simply because I have nothing to offer but what Scripture says. I have not mastered the discipline of discernment, but like you, I fail often in my attempts to separate what is true from what is false. I have written this book as much for my benefit as for yours. I have approached this book with what I hope is a spirit of humility, asking God to direct my mind and to lead me to the portions of Scripture that are most relevant to this study. I believe He has been gracious in doing so and I trust that you will benefit as much from reading this study as I have from writing it. So please, because I offer only what Scripture says, do not glance fleetingly at the passages I reproduce in the text, and especially those at the beginning of chapters, but read them slowly and meditatively, letting them penetrate your soul. I have not inserted verses of Scripture simply to prove my case; rather, these verses are my case. If you are to remember anything from this book, let it be not my words, but the words of the Bible. This is my hope; this is my prayer.” The first few drafts of the book, where I had done little more than outline the content as I anticipated it coming together, were based around my ideas. But as time has gone on and I’ve studied verse after verse, passage after passage, the book has been reshaped and reframed. The book is being framed increasingly around the Bible and about passages relevant to the study. I’ve done this simply because the Bible speaks so clearly and so convictingly on the topic of discernment. My task revolves around pulling together the relevant passages and explaining or expositing them. In this way I am letting God to the talking through His Word. And He can say things far better than I can!

There is an incredible unity in the Bible, from book to book, testament to testament. What the Old Testament says about discernment is completely consistent with what the New Testament says. What Jesus says is that same as what John and Paul say. There are no passages that are isolated from the others or that say something contradictory. Despite the difference in language, culture and authorship, unity is preserved throughout.

Writing a book is a labor of love. My wife can attest to this as much as I can. She has seen me become sorely discouraged through the writing process and has also seen me full of excitement as my studies have led me to something new and something that has gripped my soul. I have heard many authors compare writing a book to having a child and it seems an apt metaphor, though one I’m sure I’ll understand more fully once the editing process is complete (a process I expect to be both excruciatingly painful and exceedingly humbling).

There is nothing that has not been said before. In fact, if an author has something to say that is completely new and original, it seems unlikely that it can be consistent with Scripture. Thousands of years ago the sage wrote “Of making many books there is no end” (Ecclesiastes 12:12). If this was true then, how much more is it true today when we see tens or hundreds of thousands of books being released every year. The task of the author seems increasingly to be collecting and coordinating facts that already exist to shine the wisdom of the Bible on a particular topic. While the topic of spiritual discernment has received very little attention compared to other subjects (prayer, spiritual disciplines, church growth, etc, etc…) there is still a bounty of information available for anyone willing to invest in the time and effort of searching it out.

Writing a book requires prayer. I have been praying for this book for a long time now and am blessed to know that others have been praying for it as well. It is always a tremendous encouragement to hear someone say “I have been praying for you as you write the book!” Were it not for prayer I know that I would be making little progress and that the book would have little to say. So if you have been praying for it, you have my sincere gratitude. Do know that it is making a difference.

And finally, writing a book is a joy. Of course I have not loved every moment of it, and already there have been some times where I have become very discouraged. But I have thoroughly enjoyed writing this book and really do hope I can dedicate more and more life of my life to this task and this calling. There is so much I would love to be able to say, if only I had time and resources to research and write it all! It is a rare privilege for a person to be able to have writing as a primary vocation. I truly do hope that somehow this can someday this privilege can be mine.

December 25, 2006

It is Christmas. Our day began a little bit earlier than I would have liked, but also a little bit later than I had expected. With our children growing older, we are finally able to celebrate Christmas the way I remember it as a child - a day of rising early and trembling with anticipation, hoping, just hoping, that the toy you wanted most is there, waiting under the tree. Christmas is a great time to be a father, to enjoy the children squealing with excitement, joy and gratitude. I was thrilled to hear my children suggest that “mommy and daddy should open presents first this year since they take such good care of us.”

Because the children are only now coming to that age where they really appreciate Christmas, we are only just beginning to create some family Christmas traditions. To this point our traditions have been derived from a combination of how my family celebrated and how Aileen’s family celebrated. Neither family made Christmas into a distinctly religious occasion, so such an emphasis does not come naturally to either one of us. We are still not sure how much we will emphasize Christmas as Jesus’ birthday and how much we’ll just emphasize family, giving, gratitude, and so on. We’re uncertain if the day will revolve around the birth of Jesus or around Christian virtues. I suppose we’ll just have to see how the day evolves as time goes on.

After spending a good bit of my morning building Lego spaceships, assembling Playmobil garden centers, and cleaning up scattered bits of plastic and wrapping paper, Aileen and I were able to turn our attention to dinner. We got our Presbyterian Turkey all prepped and ready to go (we consider it Presbyterian and certainly not Baptist after we poured a half a bottle of sherry into its body cavity), the potatoes peeled and the table set. Now we’re just waiting for my in-laws to arrive in an hour or two. Already it has been a wonderful Christmas. I suspect it will get better still.

So from me to you, and from my family to yours, have a safe and wonderful and blessed Christmas Day.

December 02, 2006

Aileen gave herself the best birthday present ever. On her thirtieth birthday she gave birth to our daughter, Michaela Joy. It was a great day, even if we didn’t get around to having Aileen’s birthday dinner that day. Now that it is my thirtieth birthday I have proven unable to deliver such a great gift for myself. Thankfully, I’ve got family on my side.

This morning at around 10 AM my biggest little sister (Maryanne, for those of you who are trying to piece together a family tree) gave birth to a healthy baby girl. Emma Claire Helms makes for a pretty good birthday gift. From the hospital I received the following text message (presumably via my brother-in-law’s Blackberry: “Dear brother, Happy 3oth birthday!!! We bought you a niece for the big day, but we are keeping her until she becomes bad! I love you, old and wise one. Love, Maryanne.” So there we have it. Aileen shares her thirtieth with our daughter and I share my thirtieth with our niece.

Emma weighs in a 7 pounds 5 ounces and is a little sister to Anna and Josh. I now have two nieces and two nephews. This Challies clan continues to grow! And happy birthday to Emma. December 2 has proven a good day to me and I’m sure it will suit you fine too!

December 01, 2006

(This is part two of an article I began here). I ended the last article with the birth of our first child.

It did not take long after the birth of our son to encounter difficulties with our church. I knew nothing of Baptists, but had begun listening to Charles Stanley on my way to work each day and quickly began to respect his passion for the Word and his ability to teach it simply. The churches of my youth focused largely on a corporate faith but with Stanley I encountered a personal faith that challenged and intrigued me. When I realized that Baptists could be something other than hopelessly shallow, Baptist churches also began to intrigue me. And as I encountered Baptists who were clearly strong believers (something I would once never have considered possible) I began to question paedo-baptism. Aileen and I hesitated to have our baby baptized immediately and this created tension in the church. We begged for more time to investigate baptism, but were not allowed this time. We were told to have our child baptized immediately or to face church discipline. Feeling hard done by, we felt it would be best to leave the church, for we would be moving away soon enough anyways. As we did so, we walked away from the Reformed faith and began attending a local Baptist church. The parting words from a man whom we much respected were “You won’t like Baptists. They are shallow, boring people.” The Reformed faith was all I had known as a child, but I was ready to forsake it, confusing the narrow segment of Reformed churches I had known as being representative of the whole. It would be a long time before I would attend a Reformed church again. (I do want to mention here that I really do have great respect for the leadership at our old church. We were young and not very wise. Whether they were right or wrong, they felt they were doing what was good and necessary. We have no hard feelings and have since worshiped in the church.)

Around this same time, the fall of 2000, I found myself dreading my daily commute to Oakville, a drive that would routinely take the better part of an hour each way. We decided to investigate a move to Oakville. Oakville is one of the wealthiest towns in Canada and housing prices reflect that money so we did not hold out much hope. But just as we began to despair of ever finding affordable housing, a co-worker mentioned that he had purchased a townhouse in Oakville and was looking for tenants. While we could not afford the rent at that time, we realized that we could make ends meet if we took in a boarder from the local college. And so, in early September of 2000, we moved to Oakville and met Kristin, a student who was to live with us for five years. Through those years Kristin became a good friend, almost a big sister to our children, and best of all, a sister in Christ. We soon fell in love with Oakville and settled into the community.

Finding a church in this new town was not easy. This is, after all, Canada, a country where Bible-believing churches are few and far between. Reformed churches are almost unheard of and there are none in Oakville, even today. We visited several churches and attended one for several months. None of them felt like home. One day we found a flyer in our mailbox announcing the opening of a new Baptist church in our area. On our first visit we were impressed with the people and with their desire to reach out to the community. We began attending every week and soon became some of the first members. Before long I was leading weekly Bible studies and Aileen was heading up a growing children’s ministry. The church was structured around Purpose Driven principles, but this did not trouble me, for at the time I had never heard of Rick Warren or of his books. I just knew that this church was excited about reaching into the community for Christ and this thrilled me.

By the middle of 2001 it became clear that the company I was working for was not going to survive for long. In 1999 it been purchased by a massive American company that had seen fit to use our technology as a cheap Y2K solution. When Y2K passed uneventfully it became inevitable that the company would be shut down. In July of 2001 the entire staff, save me, was laid off. After spending one very boring month alone in an office building keeping an eye on a couple of computers I was laid off as well. Through a business contact I immediately began my next job, also in Oakville. I soon found this job a trial as I had to pass my days in a room filled with noisy file servers. I began to develop headaches and could hear the incessant whine of computer fans in my sleep. I started to dream of beginning my own company. But by this time Aileen was pregnant with our second child and I did not feel I could quit my job in order to pursue the dream of owning my own company. I could not trade certainty for uncertainty.

There was one thing about this job that changed my life. Because I did not enjoy the office environment, I began to escape every day to the local library, which was only a short walk away. Placed between my office and the library was a terrible little Christian bookstore, but one that carried the occasional good book. It was here that I first began to buy and to read good Christian books. Until this time I do not ever recall reading a Christian book other than the occasional Frank Peretti novel. But sitting in the Oakville Public Library I read books that changed my life. The most notable were Whatever Happened to The Gospel of Grace? by James Boice and Ashamed of the Gospel by John MacArthur. I knew nothing of these two men, but fell in love with their writing and with Christian books in general. I began to raid the shelves of my pastors’ libraries, reading whatever I could find. I also began carrying a journal with me, jotting down thoughts as they occurred and taking copious notes on the books I read. Through the ministries of these men I slowly began to recover my Reformed roots. Slowly I found myself struggling to reconcile Purpose Driven principles and Arminian theology with Scripture and with the Reformed faith.

By April of 2002 the pull towards beginning my own company was growing stronger. In my spare time I had begun to teach myself the basics of web design and was also capable of being a standard “computer guy.” And yet my wife’s belly was growing ever-larger, showing that my family was about to grow as well. I desperately wanted to do something that I liked and something that would keep my mind active. I looked forward to the prospect of working from home and being able to be my own boss. It was about these issues that I prayed one warm April day while I walked by the shores of Lake Ontario. I asked God to give me clarity. I remember praying “God, please just make it crystal clear what you want me to do.”

Still uncertain of my future I returned to the office ready to finish out the day. No sooner had I walked in the door than I was told to see my manager immediately. I entered his office and found him sitting there with his boss who had unexpectedly arrived from the company’s headquarters in the States. To my great shock I learned that I was being laid off once again. I experienced a sense of deja vu as my boss explained that my department was being terminated and the jobs would be handled from south of the border. They smiled politely, wished me the best and had someone accompany me to my desk to pick up my things.

As I was cleaning up my desk I dreaded having to call my wife to tell her the news. She drove me to work each day and had the car, so I would have to share the news over the phone rather than telling her face-to-face where I knew I could break the news to her gently and offer her comfort. As I silently fretted the phone rang. Answering it I discovered it was my close friend and pastor calling. He had never called me at work before, but said that he was at the traffic light outside my building and had just remembered something he had to ask me. I told him to pull into the parking lot and I would be right there. I grabbed my things, walked upstairs into the fresh, spring air and left the corporate world behind. Mere minutes after returning home and sharing the news with Aileen the phone rang once more and this time it was a friend calling to say that their company needed a new web site and someone who could contract with them to manage their network. And just like that Websonix was born with no loans, no business plan and very few prospects. I continued teaching myself web design and did whatever work I could find.

Business was slow, but severance payments had been reasonable and we somehow managed to keep paying our bills, though money was constantly tight. These were lean and often terrifying days. I had no office (I later moved to the basement), so worked in the living room while my young son ran around and Aileen tried to ignore my ever-present music. We dreaded the beginning of the month when bills came due, and yet somehow never had to miss a payment or beg and borrow money.

On September 25, 2002 with the time approaching to have our second child, I decided to register a website where I could post pictures of my children for the benefit of my family in the United States. I eventually settled upon challies.com. I began to post pictures but, having done a bit of writing recently, decided to post the occasional article there as well in case my family was interested in reading them. On October 7 I posted an article outlining the differences between Calvinism and Arminianism and on the 23rd a short article challenging the way evangelicals remember Mother Teresa. Little did I know where these articles would lead!

October 30, 2002 marked the birth of my daughter, Abigail. We were now a family of four. My responsibilities were quickly increasing.

By mid-2003 Challies Dot Com was beginning to resemble a blog, at least to some extent. I was still not using any kind of blogging software, but was posting book reviews (my first book review was Battle For The Beginning by John MacArthur) and was updating with at least some frequency. It surprised me to see that strangers began to visit the site, having found links to my articles and reviews from the search engines. It surprised me even more to find that they enjoyed reading these articles. I began to write more often and found that, in my opinion at least, the more I wrote, the better my writing got. I also found that the more I wrote the more I found that I wanted to say.

It was around this time that I was introduced the phenomenon of blogging and decided that it was something I should attempt. I have never been very good at hobbies and fully expected this one to fall by the wayside as so many others before it. By October I had installed new software and had begun to blog irregularly, but the site was languishing from lack of attention. I would post every week or two as I found or made time. This changed on October 31. I decided rather spontaneously that, beginning the next day, I would either post every day for a year or give up on blogging altogether. And so it was that on November 1, 2003 I posted an article and began a string of daily blogging that has not yet ceased, though it has been over three years. This discipline of daily blogging has been the most demanding but most rewarding task I’ve ever undertaken.

2004 and 2005 passed fairly quietly with fewer milestones than the preceding years. We were settling into life. Websonix continued to grow and slowly became a viable company, capable of supporting my family. The blog also continued to grow in popularity, first bringing in ten or twenty visitors every day, and then hundreds, and then thousands. Through this time the site went through something of a silent transformation. In the site’s infancy I feel it focused too often on what was negative and what was controversial. I began to realize that I was quickly becoming one of the infamous “watchbloggers.” Over time, though, and through the grace of God, I’m sure, I realized that I had little interest in pursuing watchblogging and decided to focus more attention on what was edifying and what was, quite simply, of interest to me. The site became more personal and less negative.

In October of 2005, at the invitation of Desiring God, I received my first invitation to liveblog a conference. This was quite a thrill and I still consider it a great honor. It opened the doors to many more opportunities, all of which have proven to be tremendous blessings.

And this brings us to 2006. Early in the year we decided that the time had come for us to find a new church. While we had many good friends and good memories in our old church, theological differences dictated that it would be best for us to move on. Looking back I can see that this break was inevitable from the moment I began to read good books. The church was not Reformed, which troubled us to some degree, of course, but not enough to disassociate ourselves from it. It was now a recovering Purpose Driven church and was missional, I suppose (though I never heard the term used in the church), which appealed to us in many ways. But it was also largely fad-driven (to borrow Phil Johnson’s phrase) and increasingly seeking a kind of relevance and “coolness” that we could not reconcile with our beliefs. As my opportunities to minister grew I also sought a kind of accountability that this church was not able or willing to provide. We began to yearn for more from the preaching and for worship that was focused on the grace and sovereignty of God. Through my site I had encountered Paul Martin, who pastors Grace Fellowship Church, a Reformed Baptist congregation in an area of Toronto a few minutes east of Oakville. I had met with Paul in December of 2005 and was immediately struck by his godliness and humility (or, if you prefer, as my wife said “You’ve got a big ol’ man-crush on him!”). Early in the new year I brought my family to Grace and we have been worshiping with that body of believers since. We feel at home among them. Paul has already become a dear and trusted friend.

In March of 2006 Aileen and I were thrilled to be able to buy our first house. We did not move far from the home we rented for five years as we chose to remain in the same neighborhood. Only two months later, on May 3 of this year, the same day Aileen celebrated her 30th birthday, she gave birth to little Michaela, our second daughter and third child. And not long after that I signed a contract for my first book, The Discipline of Discernment, which will be published (Lord willing) in early 2008.

And this brings us to today. And today brings us to tomorrow when I will turn thirty. It seems difficult to conceive of a decade that could bring more milestones and more blessings than the one that has just passed. I have changed from an unemployed, unmarried student to a married, self-employed father of three. I have learned that so much of the wisdom that was passed to me as a young man is true: I do love my wife now more than I did even on our wedding day. She is more beautiful and more precious to me than ever before. The best days of my life were not the days when I was single, but the days I spent with my wife and children just enjoying their presence. I have little doubt that the best days still lie ahead. I have learned more than I can possibly quantify and have grown immeasurably. I have been blessed so far beyond what I deserve.

It has been a decade of unbelievable blessings. It has been a decade of a few pains, but countless thousands of joys. God has been so good, so faithful even when I have been faithless. I have felt His presence and have known His presence from day to day, from year to year. When I look back I am amazed by His grace. When I look forward I anticipate this grace continuing to sustain me as long as He chooses to allow me to sojourn here. I can hardly wait to see where He will lead me next.

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