This afternoon Aileen and I went out to look at homes in various neighborhoods in this area. We know that we want to buy a place of our own but are not quite sure where. Having rented for the past seven years we are growing increasingly tired of paying other peoples’ mortgages and feel it would be nice to pay our own! Right now we live in a rented home in a very wealthy town where real estate prices are generally inflated beyond what we can afford. So we have been looking outside of this town at a few others that are nearby where the prices are a bit more within our means.

A few years ago I might have asked, “Where does God want us?” But today I’m not so sure that is really a legitimate question. Does God want us in Oakville? Does He want us in Hamilton? I don’t know. I don’t know if God really cares about where we are as much as our motives for going there. As it stands Aileen and I have very few ties to this town or any other. We both work from home and between us we only have a couple of family members in the immediate area. Our church has locations throughout the area so anywhere we move we could continue to attend either our church or one of our daughter churches. We have examined the options and just don’t see that there is any one town where we should be. We do not expect or even ask for some type of divine revelation to guide us. We think it is wide open and feel we can use our “sanctified reasoning” to choose a home and a hometown. Of course we will pray and ask God to help us make good decisions and even to open or close doors as He sees fit. We’ll ask Him to continue to help us sort through our motives (especially as we drive through Hamilton, also known as Mullet-town). But ultimately we know that we’ll come to a day where we just have to decide whether or not to sign that piece of paper to close a deal.

So where does God want us? I think He wants us to be in a place where we’ll be happy. He wants us to be in a place that we see as a mission field and a place where we will allow our light to shine to the neighbors around us. Whether that place is called Hamilton or Burlington or Oakville seems to matter little. I hope that is how God feels too.

My son has recently taken an interest in wars and the military. I have a 39-volume Time-Life series of books covering the Second World War and he loves to sit and look through the pictures. He often bemoans the fact that he cannot yet read as he would love to be able to learn about what the soldiers are doing and against whom they are fighting. A few weeks ago I pulled an old box from my cupboard and showed him a few of my treasures - medals and other relics from family members who fought in the War. There are service medals and pins along with journals and records of payments.

My grandfather, Lawrence Belford, whom we knew as “Bapa,” was the only veteran to whom I was at all close. I don’t know that anyone was really close to Bapa in a personal way, but I know he loved me and loved to show me off. If there was anything Bapa was proud of in life, other than his three daughters, it would have to be his military service. Had you taken some time to talk to him, it would not have been long before he brought it up. As with most young men of his generation, he spent several years overseas, doing his part for the war effort. He chose to serve in the Royal Canadian Air Force. Though he wanted to be a pilot he was rejected on account of poor eyesight, and instead found himself working as part of the grounds crew for the planes he so wanted to fly. His job was to load and arm the bombs before the planes flew across the channel to fulfill their mission and then to clean and fix the bombers once they returned. When I was young Bapa would often take me to the Legion hall near his home, partly to show me off and partly just to talk. I would eat a bowl of beans and sip on a Coke and he would drink a draft or two and reminisce about the war. He would tell of planes returning from Germany with gaping holes, smashed windows and broken bodies. After the ambulances had left, he would have to climb into those bombers and clean them up, trying to make some semblance of order amongst the chaos so the plane could fly again the next day.

Despite the horror of war I believe Bapa enjoyed his service and remembered the war years fondly. He surely bore some shame that he could not be part of the real fighting and must have felt some guilt when he heard about Canadian soldiers being killed at Dieppe, Normandy and soon all across Western Europe. He was probably almost jealous of the men whose planes never returned. While his base occasionally came under attack, he survived the war and went on to live a long life. The war years were quite good to him.

My other grandfather, George Challies, whom I never met as he died before I was born, was also in the military during World War II. I actually know little about him, but do know that he was an important man, a Supreme Court Judge, and was posted to the command of what I believe was an artillery training camp somewhere in Quebec. My uncle was born during these years and I have, on occasion, glimpsed at a postcard written to my grandmother and inquiring after his baby son’s health. Grandpa finished the war as a Lieutenant Colonel (Lieutenant is pronounced “leftenant” in Canada).

My grandmother’s brother, my great uncle, Harold Wooten, was a Spitfire pilot who was posted to the Mediterranean. I am not entirely sure where he was posted, but I do know that he never returned. He left his base on a routine mission on March 4, 1944 and never returned. He was declared Missing in Action. I still get chills when I remember my grandmother describing the day he died. While they lived in Quebec, thousands of miles from my uncle, they knew something was wrong when his dog, whom he had left behind with his family, began to howl one day. The dog was inconsolable for several days and it came as no great surprise to the family when, several days later, the dreaded telegram arrived. Even in her old age my grandmother missed her brother terribly.

Those three men, and so many others, are my heroes. I remember them not just on November 11, but throughout the year. I remember them every time I pass a veteran’s cemetery or walk past the cenotaph in the center of our town. I have taught my son to be proud of their service and their sacrifices. He determined today that he would tell his friends at school about daddy’s great uncle who died in the War. I hope he does.

While my mother lives a thousand miles away from me, I know that today she has placed a little poppy in the picture of her father that hangs in the hallway of her house. Bapa looks dashing, dressed in his RCAF uniform. He looks proud. The little poppy serves as a reminder of the years he gave to a great cause and it serves as a reminder of the innumerable sacrifices by innumerable made to preserve freedom.

Earlier this year I posted an article in which I described a method I use for personal worship (or devotions, quiet time, etc). At the time I was hoping it would spark discussion from others about how they spend daily time with God. While the article brought about some discussion few people shared about how they spend their times of worship. Personal worship is, of course, personal and some people may be unwilling to share what they do, and I understand that. Still, I am hoping that as I post this again, it can inspire those who are unhappy with their times of personal worship to adopt what I feel is a very helpful method. I hope also that those who have their own methods will share them with us. There is no one correct way to worship God, but certainly some are more useful and appropriate than others. I am eager to learn from other believers how I can make my time more faithful to the Scriptures and more meaningful to the Lord.

A common trap believers fall into is making their time of personal devotion a selfish time. Without structure, prayers often become mere lists of perceived needs, wants and desires and reading Scripture becomes a chore and a burden. Many Christians feel guilty, admiring and desiring the biblical examples of those, like David, who delighted in the Lord and in His Word. They sincerely desire to have a passion for prayer and Scripture, yet find themselves lukewarm at best. It is crucial that we come to understand our time with God as an opportunity to simply be with Him, to worship and delight in Him. Instead of focusing on what we bring away from it, we ought to focus on what we can give to God. We can derive pleasure from our time of worship based on the pleasure it brings God.

It is my sincere hope that we can share different ways of daily delighting in the Lord and sharing time with Him. If you have a method or some pointers you would like to share, please feel free to do so by linking us to an article on your blog (if you have one) or by posting a comment in the forum.

The method I is adapted from an article I found quite a while ago written by Jim Elliff. I find it usually takes about an hour, though it could certainly be made longer or shorter. For the first few times I used this structure I followed it nearly to the letter, but as time went on began to adapt into what you see here. I have little doubt it will continue to change. Should you choose to try this method, feel free to change it however you wish. I acknowledge that God has blessed me with the privilege of working from home which gives me more time in the morning than many others have. Despite that, I have found it best to set the alarm early so I can spend this time before my mind turns elsewhere.

This structure is more than merely reading the Bible and praying - this is a time of intimate, personal worship to God. I recommend doing this in private, away from children, friends or spouses who may inadvertently distract you and draw attention away from God. Sit, kneel, lie, walk - do whatever you need to do to make it a comfortable time.

1. In Jesus’ Name

Begin your time of personal worship by acknowledging that it is only through Christ’s merits that you can come before the Father. It is only through the work of Christ in which He took our sin upon Himself and satisfied the Father that we can now be accepted by God. Acknowledge your unworthiness and dependence on Him. In the spirit of the following verses, believe and trust that Christ died to be your Mediator to the Father. Thank Him for allowing you access to God.

But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ (Ephesians 2:13)
For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. (Ephesians 2:18)

2. Delight in Him

Delight in the Lord, expressing your wonder of His greatness. Praise Him for who His is - for His character and attributes. Do not focus yet on the things He has done for you, but on His person and attributes. A good place to start as you mediate on Him may be with answer four of the Shorter Catechism, which asks “What is God?”: “God is a Spirit, infinite, eternal, and unchangeable, in his being, wisdom, power, holiness, justice, goodness, and truth.” You might also thank Him for His love, patience, kindness, goodness, knowledge and glory. Just thank and praise Him for being who He is!

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)

3. Repentance

Have a time of personal repentance where you reflect on your own sin and shortcomings in the light of the perfect majesty of God. Confess and repent of specific sins, asking God to forgive you for them. Trust that He is faithful to do so and acknowledge your acceptance of His forgiveness.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

4. Express Your Longings

Express your deepest, most personal, most intimate longings to God. This is not a time to pray about everything you need or want or a time to bring your petitions before God. It is a time to make known to Him your deepest desires. This may include your desire for deeper fellowship with Him, for personal holiness, to “finish strong” and so on. Ephesians 1:15-23 may serve as a guide for this.

As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for the living God. (Psalm 42:1,2)

5. Read a Psalm

Read a Psalm or a portion of a Psalm. Consider reading it out loud, remembering that Psalms were written as music and poetry. Praise God through your words.

6. Sing to the Lord

Sing a song to the Lord. You might consider singing a version of the Psalm you just read or singing a biblically-sound hymn or chorus by yourself or accompanied by a CD. You may prefer to make up your own song based on the Psalm you just read or any other passage of Scripture. If you are not a singer, consider reading or reciting a creed or reading a question and answer from a Catechism. Either way, allow this to be a brief time of heartfelt praise to God.

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! (Psalm 100:1,2)

7. Study The Word

Having prepared your heart and removed any emphasis from yourself, it is now time to turn to the Bible.

Begin by asking the Spirit to illumine the Words you will read and to speak directly to your heart through His Word, “…that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints…” (Ephesians 1:17,18)

Read with confidence that God is as eager to speak to you as you are to listen to Him. Turn to a passage, and preferably at least a chapter, of the Bible. Read it first as a whole and then in smaller pieces. Seek out the key verses and read them meditatively, continually seeking God’s wisdom to help you understand. Reflect, contemplate, ponder them. Read with a view to understanding the sense and meaning of the passage. Then begin to apply the passage to yourself, asking how this truth relates to you. Ask the following questions of the passage:

Are there commands to obey?

Are there examples to follow?

Are there errors to avoid?

Are there sins to forsake?

Are there promises to claim?

Are there new thoughts about God?

Are there principles to live by?

You may wish to finish with a prayer of application, asking God to apply to your heart what you have learned.

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. (Psalm 1:1,2)

8. Intercede For Others

Bring before God the needs and concerns of others. You may wish to remember specifically:

Friends

Family members

The leadership of your church

The leaders of your nation

The unsaved

Missionaries

Those who have asked for prayer and those you have promised to remember in prayer

Those who are grieving or troubled

Those who have experienced disaster

Because you will find there are so many people to remember in prayer, you may wish to make a system of rotation where you pray for only several of the groups each day, remembering to include each group at least once per week. One system I have found helpful in organizing my prayers is to pray in “concentric circles,” beginning with those who are closest to me and moving outwards to those I know only as acquaintances and then those I do not know at all.

Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by ceasing to pray for you. (1 Samuel 12:23)

9. Petitions

Petition the Lord for other needs that you have not yet brought before Him. This is the time to make personal requests and desires known before Him. More than just remembering these before Him, ask Him specifically for guidance, deliverance, wisdom or endurance. Bring your petitions before Him with faith and humility, knowing that God loves to grant the desires of your heart.

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:16)
Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full. (Jn. 16: 24)

10. Thanksgiving

Pray a prayer of thanksgiving. Be specific in thanking God for his forgiveness, goodness and providence. Thank Him for the time you have been able to spend with Him. Thank Him for speaking to your heart through the Scriptures you read earlier.

Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name. (Hebrews 13:15)

11. Place Your Day Before God

Place your day before the Lord, dedicating the day to His service. This is a good time to ask Him for specific opportunities to serve Him in sharing the Gospel and serving others. It may be helpful to go through your day chronologically, asking him for help, patience, guidance, faith and so on in specific areas. For example, you may ask Him for patience as you deal with your children, guidance as you examine job opportunities and wisdom as you share the Gospel with your neighbours. If you have your time of personal worship in the evening, place the next day before God.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

And That Is It

If you have used this method, I trust you have just spent a meaningful, intimate hour with the Lord. May God bless you as you dedicate yourself to becoming intimate with Him.

For the past couple of years we have been able to observe an industrious pair of robins building a nest in a tree directly outside our bathroom window. Just about a foot below the window and perhaps 8 feet out from the house, in a little crook of a crabapple tree, they build a nest of grass, mud and bits of string. Before long the mother begins spending all her time sitting on the nest and though we can’t see the bottom of the nest we knew that she has laid some eggs. Sure enough, a couple of weeks later we begin to notice little pink heads and yellow beaks protruding from the nest. We laugh at the little things as they sit with their beaks to the sky, wide open, just waiting for a feeding. After just a few days their heads and then their bodies begin to rise above the edges of the nest.

It is incredible to see how quickly they grow. In less than two weeks they bear a striking resemblance to their parents. Though still quite small and though their chests are spotted for camouflage, they seem as if they are just about ready to explore the world. Sure enough, only a couple of weeks after hatching, we come down one morning to find the nest vacant. The little birds have flown the nest.

I is always just a little bit sad. I enjoy watching the birds grow up and am always sure that I’ll get to watch them for longer than two weeks! But just like that they are gone. You know, I wonder if even their parents are surprised at how quickly they grew up. It seems that children always grow up faster than their parents expect, for I can't count the number of times I have heard people older than I am marvel at how soon their own children flew the nest.

I reflected on this further and began to think about my own children. Even now I can't believe that my son is already five. Wasn't it just yesterday that we were celebrating his first birthday? Just two or three days ago that he first called me "daddy?"

Though it will probably be twenty years before I walk my little girl down the aisle, I have little doubt that as I hold her arm and walk her into her new life and into her new family, I will be struck by how quickly time passes. I can imagine her childhood flashing before me, as it will seem like just yesterday that the nurse passed me the little pink baby just moments after she was born, all swaddled in blankets, and who stared at me with her big brown eyes, wondering who I was. I'll have memories of chasing a little, bare-bottomed, giggling baby around the house, trying desperately to corral her to get a diaper on her before company arrives. I'll have memories of her first day at school, her first ballet class and probably even her first date. I know it will seem that there just hasn't been enough time - that I'll want her to wait for just one more day. Just one more day to sit with daddy and talk about her hopes and her dreams. Just to sit with daddy.

It seems time just passes too quickly.

It seems they grow up so fast.

I wonder what God thinks as He looks down on me. Does He look down at me and wonder to Himself how I could have come so far, so fast? Does He smile in amazement that after only ten or fifteen years of being a Christian I've grown up so much?

Somehow I don't think He does. In fact, it is far more likely that He looks down and shakes His head in wonder that I have so often refused to grow up; that I've refused to learn from the tough times and have refused to keep my sight fixed on Him in the good times. So often I have believed that I can do this all on my own. So often I have had to be reminded that I cannot. And just as often I have failed to learn my lesson. I have failed to grow up.

But as often as I have chosen to continue sipping milk rather than grow up and begin to chew on solid food, God has extended His forgiveness. He has given me the hope and even the yearning to desire adulthood. It seems ironic that I will never fully become alive - will never fully grow up - until I die, for the day I leave this earth and pass into glory, I will finally reach full spiritual maturity. Yet even now I know that with His help and through His grace I will continue to grow up, continue to grow closer to Him and continue to grow in my desire to be like Him.

God help me grow up.

This is another one of those articles I wrote months ago and am only now tidying up and posting.

It has been nearly a week since I updated the look of the site. Initially there were quite a few people who objected (sometimes quite strenuously) to this. I know that in the ensuing time some have come around and have learned to appreciate the new design. To the rest of you, well, you’re clearly beyond hope!

Now we turn to other matters.

Gerard, a reader of this site who has quite an interesting job title, sent the following email: “Some of your readers might want to know that you can now use AvantGo to synchronize RSS feeds to PocketPC or Palm devices. I've got challies.com on my handheld now, and it's a great way to read your site.” Who knew?

If you look to the top of the right column on any page in this site you’ll see another interesting way of reading the site: subscribing by email. Using this service you can enter your address and have a daily digest of the articles posted during that day sent to your email address. There is no advertising, no spam, etc.

I updated the forum template so it comes a little closer to imitating the look of the main site. I may edit it further as I have time.

Finally, I wish you all a good weekend. For those who read on Saturday and Sunday, I’ll have some book reviews for you over the weekend. For the rest, enjoy your weekend and we’ll see you on Monday.

I have been offered the privilege of liveblogging the 2006 Shepherd’s Conference. This conference, as you may know, is affiliated with Grace Community Church and, of course, John MacArthur. It runs from March 1 to 5 of 2006. I am thrilled to have this opportunity, not only to learn from what I’m sure will be a challenging time of examining God’s Word, but with the opportunity to share the conference through the Internet with those who are not able to attend. For every person who is able to attend, there must be ten or twenty who cannot. I trust that liveblogging will allow these people to follow along with the conference. I know that many people found this a helpful extension to the Desiring God Conference (links) as it allowed them a glimpse into the proceedings during that event. Naturally I have accepted the invitation.

Keynote speakers for this year’s event include Dr. John MacArthur, Dr. R. Albert Mohler, Dr. R.C. Sproul, Dr. Steven Lawson, Dr. Ligon Duncan and Mark Dever (where was he when they were handing out the PhD’s?). Not to be outdone, the blogosphere’s own Phil Johnson will be leading several seminars, including one entitled “Rome is Burning: Examining the damning doctrines of Roman Catholicism.” Other seminar leaders include Rick Holland, Nathan Busenitz and Richard Mayhue. The scheduled is packed with ten general sessions and five seminar sessions. And to think that my fingers were burning at the conclusion of the eight sessions at Desiring God! Strangely enough, I will be seeing most of the keynote speakers just a few weeks later at the Together for the Gospel conference which I will also be liveblogging.

Unfortunately I will be on my own for travel and accomodations for the Shepherd’s Conference. For the first time in the long history of this site, I am going to ask readers if they would care to help me financially. Everything within me rebels against this. I have never put advertising on my site and have never linked to a tip jar. In fact, at least for the time being I do not want to ask for money and will not do so. I will merely provide people with the ability to donate to the cause should they feel so inclined. If you would like to donate, you can do so through the little “Dropcash Campaign” box in the right sidebar. I am targetting $500 as I feel that will likely be sufficient for airfare and accomodations. Any donations will be directed to my wife’s Paypal account and she will manage the finances. No donation is too small. I do apologize for bringing this up and hope you understand my reluctance in doing so. I trust that my blogging during the conference, as I do my best to bring you the words of such gifted and godly men, will somehow prove sufficient compensation.

The long-awaited new design is now live. While I am sure to hear a lot of complaints about removing the old design, I feel that this design will serve us all better. Here are a few of the new features unique to this design:

Comment Equality - There is now equality between the comments in the Sideblog, Community blog and main blog. It is no longer a case of “All comments are equal but some comments are more equal than others.” All of this is to say that the comment listing now includes comments from all three parts of the blog which saves me from having three seperate lists. It will simplify the ongoing discussions.

King for a Week - This is a new area where I hope to feature a different blog each week. The last several headlines from that blog will appear on my site for a week. Consider it a tribute to blogs I feel are worthy of being read.

Store - It is not actually a store, but links to a few different ways people can support this site.

Portfolio - Because I receive so many questions from readers of this site about my web design work I have decided to add some portfolio items directly to the site. This area is still under development.

Trackback page - There is now a dedicated page that will list the last 20 or so trackbacks that have been sent to this site.

Expanded, annotated blogroll - Having been berated countless times for my pathetic blogroll, I have finally expanded and even annotated it.

Email subscription - I have added an email subscription feature whereby anyone can sign up to receive daily digest emails of the articles posted to the site. Check the toolbox area for more information.

Paginated category and date-based archives - This is a small touch but one that makes browsing categories and archives easier. Rather than having all items appear on one page, the items are now broken into pages of ten results per page.

Year at a glance - This feature allows a person to quickly find any entries posted on a particular date. I’m guessing that I will use this feature more than anyone else.

Bells and whistles - I added various other bells and whistles. Among them are smooth scrolling (scroll down to the bottom of a page and click “back to top” to see it in action) and various visual clues to which links you have visited, which will take you to a location outside of my site, etc.

The site was created to take advantage of certain features that are only available in Firefox. Thus the site does look moderately better in Firefox than in Internet Explorer. I trust that with the release of Internet Explorer 7 next year the gap will close to some extent.

I am both eager and worried as I anticipate your reaction to this new design. Fire away!

1:59 PM - I am currently upgrading the site. Please bear with me as I make these changes. I will update as I make progress here…

3:57 PM - We’re getting there. Another hour or so and I should have most of this done. So far commenters appear to be 1 Pro and 1 Con.

My friend Bill has been on the lookout for the 1000th registered user of the forums here at Challies Dot Com. Just a few minutes ago he let me know that we have reached that lofty goal. A user registered as N_student replied with a comment about book suggestions for college students. He indicated his appreciation for the list and said that of those books I suggested, “some i have already read, and some are going on my list. ” To celebrate the 1000th visitor I think it only appropriate that I treat him to one of those that are on his list. So if he replies to this post (thus showing that he isn’t just a one-time reader and one-time poster), I’ll buy him any one of the titles on my list that he added to his.

The rest of you get nothing. Actually, maybe I’ll…no, forget it. You get nothing.

In the past several days I have found myself turning time and again to a particular song, a song that has been in my collection for many years and which I have always enjoyed. Sung by a short-lived band named “Doulos,” the title of the song is simply, “Again.” The song seems to capture something that has been precious to me recently.

my mouth is empty
shame surrounds me
I feel what I say can’t be heard or shouldn’t be
again I’m jumping into darkness
not knowing if my feet will land again

again I’m caught and made innocent
as I land in a pool of blood
how many times can the gift of life be given
I stand still and weep again

As we would expect, the song is tied together in the chorus. It is a simple chorus, containing only one line. “How long till I become holy.” But the line is not sung with great joy and excitment, but rather almost as a groan or a cry. “Oh, how long till I become holy?” I assume this song was inspired, at least in part, by Romans 8. As I looked at that passage this morning I was struck by the sheer volume of groaning we see in the verses. It is not just believers who groan, but rather it is Christians, Creation and the Holy Spirit who are said to be groaning.

“For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now.” The world was made perfect and holy, but through the sin of our first parents, Creation fell with us. And now, as if to show that this is an unnatural state, all of Creation cries out to God for the end of such sin and torment. The hills wait for the day when they can sing praise to God and the trees wait to clap their hands in joy and freedom. This personification of nature, as found in Isaiah, shows just how much the whole world waits for redemption and the end of sin.

“And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.” Christians, those who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, also groan as we wait for the final consumation. We groan inwardly as our spirits cry out to God. We know that sin is foreign to us as beings created in the image of God and our hearts cry out for an end to sin. Some also cry outwardly, eagerly anticipating the end of pain, suffering and physical affliction. It is this cry that is the subject of the song. “Oh, how long till I become holy?” How long must it be, Lord, before you take away this death and this corruption? How long before you make me who I so badly want to be? How long before you take me to the presence of the One I long to see?

“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” But we do not groan alone. No, for we have Divine aid. The Holy Spirit intercedes for us in our cries to God. When I feel weak in prayer, the Holy Spirit is there, helping me. Even when I do not know how or what to pray, the Spirit knows, and stands between myself and the Father, presenting to Him prayers that express what is best. Where I am limited by limited knowledge, the Spirit is not. He takes my prayers and conforms them to the Father’s will before bringing them before the Throne of Grace. When I pray in Jesus’ name, humbling myself before His sovereignty, I offer my will and desires to Him, and truly seek “the good” that Paul speaks of in Romans 8:28. I acknowledge that in my humanness I would make a mess of even the most trivial decisions, and trust that God knows best.

And so until that great day when the world is finally perfected, the Holy Spirit groans with the Creation and with believers, as together we cry out for the new heaven and the new earth. And with the songwriter and with Christians through the ages, I groan at the burden of my own sin. But despite my hatred of sin I do the very thing I least want to do and jump once again into the darkness only to find myself caught again in a pool of blood. I am forgiven again and wonder within myself just how many times God can forgive me and just how long His patience can last. Often I pause to weep, either at the depth of my own depravity or at the height of God’s grace. And all the while I cry out, “Oh, how long? How long, oh Lord, before you make me fully, truly, purely holy?”