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Tim Challies

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Personal Reflections

September 01, 2006

Several months ago I sat with my wife, discussing future goals and plans. I told her something she already knew: that I wanted someday to begin writing books. Writing runs in my blood and there are few things I enjoy more (though reading would have to come close). As evidenced by this blog, I have a great deal to say, even if I do not always say it particularly well. It made sense to me that I would target three or four years as a likely time to begin this type of formal writing. By then the children would be a little bit older and I would be, I trust, a little more disciplined and sanctified. I thought life would probably have settled down a bit.

Things change. A few months ago a couple of Christian friends, whose wisdom and godliness far exceed my own, suggested that I should think about writing now, for God had seen fit to give me an interest in a particular topic. As I began to research this topic, I found that there were no current books dealing with it. And yet there seems to be a good deal of interest in it. Sadly, many of those who seem to be accepted as experts in the field show great misunderstandings of the heart of the issue.

And so it was that I decided to submit a book proposal to a publishing company for whom I have a great deal of respect. I learned just a few days ago that my proposal has been accepted. The paperwork has been completed and all that now remains is for me to write the book. Tentatively titled The Discipline of Discernment, it will be published by Crossway, likely sometime in late 2007 or early 2008. It will be written for the “thoughtful general reader” (i.e. people like you and me) and will lead Christians with what I hope and trust will be helpful, biblical teaching about spiritual discernment.

You may recall that a few months ago I posted an article summarizing an interview I conducted with an expert in the field of counterfeit currency. In the hour or two we spent together, the point that struck me most was when she asked me if I am careful to always inspect the money I am given. I was surprised by this question and told her I did not realize that there was such an expectation. I simply did not know that the government expects that each of us will inspect money before accepting it. But as she patiently explained, once money has been accepted, it will not be replaced if it is found to be counterfeit. Once I accept it, I become responsible for it. In my mind, this stood as a metaphor for the church today. So few people are discerning because so few even realize it is a God-given expectation. It is my hope, my prayer, that I can encourage Christians to begin the discipline of discernment.

The reason I post this information is not to ask for congratulations or pats on the back for managing to secure a book deal. Rather, I post it to request your prayers. This is a major undertaking for me and I am both thrilled and terrified as I look at the 10 or 15 pages I’ve written and the 150 blank ones that still need to be filled. I know that this project will depend on prayer, without which I will get nowhere and accomplish nothing. And so I ask if you would consider praying for me over the next several months as I study Scripture and attempt to draw out biblical principles related to discernment. I ask you, because without you reading this site, there would have been no book to begin with. Your support, through visiting this site, has allowed this book to happen. And so I humbly ask you to pray that God would give me clarity of thought and the ability to communicate effectively. Pray most of all that He will glorified in all I do and all I write. Without His blessing this undertaking means nothing.

I hope to dedicate Fridays predominantly to writing (beginning today!) and wonder if you would consider marking Friday as a day you pray specifically for this book. I truly believe that Christians need some good teaching on this topic. I have nothing to offer but what Scripture says. I want to saying nothing other than what God says. If you would help me in this by holding me up before the throne, I’d be forever grateful.

August 24, 2006

Through the past week or so my wife and I have been working our way through the Extended Editions of the three The Lord of the Rings movies. I had seen Fellowship of the Ring and The Two Towers many times in the past, but had not yet had opportunity to watch the Extended Edition of The Return of the King. Aileen had seen only the theatrical editions of the first two. Three movies, each clocking in at three and a half to four hours is quite a commitment, but we made our way through an hour or two at a time after the children had gone to bed. I think I enjoyed them more than Aileen did, but she still seemed to get caught up in the story. Few movies can compare to a good book and these ones are no different in that regard. Still, they are stunning for their accurate creation of the world of J.R.R. Tolkien and for their great acting. They are always a joy to watch.

My favorite scene in the entire series happens near the end of the final film. As you no doubt remember (it has, after all, been fifty years since the books were first published!), Frodo and Sam have finally carried the ring to Mount Doom. Despite the months they have travelled and the dangers they have faced, Frodo still finds himself unable to part with the ring. The ring has thoroughly gripped his heart and now owns him more than he owns it. Frodo declares that the ring is his and puts it onto his finger for the last time. As he does so, Gollum leaps upon him, also desiring the ring. They struggle for some time and Gollum eventually bites off Frodo’s finger, steals the ring and rejoices in reclaiming it. A fight ensues in which Gollum maintains possession of the ring, but loses his balance and falls from a cliff. And here is the scene that has so often gripped me. Gollum, captured in slow motion, falls into the molten lava of Mount Doom. But as he falls, there is no terror in his eyes. No scream escapes his lips. Instead, he falls into the flame gently petting the ring, cooing to it, and delighting in his “precious.” His last word is “precioussss!” The evil ring that had first caused him to commit an act of murder and that had so long enslaved him is the object of his affection as he falls to his death.

That scene contains such a profound statement about human nature. Every time I see Gollum fall to his death, enraptured by the evil that has enslaved him, I think of the power of sin. I think of the power of sin that exists even in my own life. I know there are areas in my life that are precious to me even while they enslave me. There are areas in my life that I cling to and fight for even though they are wrong, even though they are evil. When I see Gollum fall, I see myself and the sin that enslaves me. I have to ask myself if there is sin in my life that grips me so much that I would cradle it and coo to it, even as it pulled me to my death. Often I have to ask not “if” but “where” such sin exists. It is a sobering time of reflection.

August 21, 2006

I hate cars. While they are clearly a necessity, they are just as clearly evil. I guess that makes them necessary evils. I can’t think of too many other significant investments in life that we purchase knowing full well that each time we use it, it will decrease in value. Every day the car becomes less and less valuable whether it drives around or sits in a parking lot. There is no joy in buying a new one, and usually no joy in selling an old one. When buying a car, a scratch is just a little nick that is hardly worth mentioning. When selling a car, that scratch is worth hundreds of dollars. Thousands even. The whole task of buying or selling a car is a game, and an awfully frustrating one at that. I hate the game.

Still, we do need a car and really can’t get by without one. We deemed it time to get a new one and it is sitting outside right now. I started thinking about the cars I have owned and noticed that we could trace the eight-year history of my family through these vehicles.

The first vehicle I bought was a Chevy S-10 pickup truck.

Through my college years I ran a painting business in the summers to help cover my tuition costs. I purchased the S-10 as my company vehicle. It was a great little truck and I still miss the flexibility of a pickup. I have some great memories of driving that truck with Aileen in the passenger seat and our puppy perched between us. The windshield leaked, there was no air conditioning, the interior was spattered with paint and the stereo needed a severe beating most days to convince it to work. Worst of all, the vents would never close properly which made winter driving perilously cold for the feet! But we loved it. We were young, newly married and almost carefree. We had no money and could afford nothing more elegant, for I was in school studying computers and Aileen was working only part time. Unfortunately that little truck came to an untimely end on an icy highway overpass near our first home in Brantford, Ontario. Even then Aileen was pregnant with our first child and we knew that the truck would soon need to be replaced, for there was no room for a third person, no matter how tiny he was.

State Farm was kind to us at the demise of the S-10. Still, it was not worth much and we had, quite literally, no money. It seemed that our best option, and quite possibly our only option, was to get into the leasing game. Relying on a long-time family friend who was and still is a high and mighty in a leasing company, we used the proceeds from insurance to put the down payment on a lease of a slightly-used Toyota Corolla. For some reason we got a purple one that, but for the color, looked a great deal like this:

That little purple Toyota was a barebones model with little in the way of features. I can’t imagine that Corollas come any more scaled-down than this one! It rattled and banged and bounced a lot, but did well for us. We placed my son’s car seat in the back and Aileen would often ride beside him, cuddling and comforting him while we made long drives to the cottage or to visit my family in Atlanta. We had that car for three years before the lease expired.

Based on our positive experience with the previous car, we went with another Corolla. I was now working a good and steady job and we felt that we could afford a little bit more this time around. The new car was several model years later and was at least a package or two more advanced. It had two car seats in the back as my daughter was born soon after we acquired it. Aileen would sometimes squeeze between them to read to the children or to play with them. But the car began to get a little too small. We had a boarder living with us for several years and it was a tight squeeze to get all of us into the car on the way to church. We knew that it was time to move to something bigger.

The next logical step was to get a minivan. We went with a Ford Windstar because of its affordability. I had been laid off twice and had begun my own business which was still fairly new. It was crucial that we keep our costs down. We once again went with a basic model with few exciting features (I wouldn’t have believed a model existed that had power mirrors but only a tape deck instead of a CD player). Because we work from home, we kept the mileage low and never ran into any expensive repairs. In fact, I don’t think we have ever done anything beyond basic maintenance on any of our cars so far.

Another lease has expired and now we’ve got a new car to go along with our new baby. This time we went with a Dodge Grand Caravan. As usual, we have leased a car that has already been on the road for a year as this tend to keep the costs reasonable. This van is hardly a luxury vehicle, but is at least slightly more advanced than the Windstar and I sure will appreciate cruise control for those sixteen hour drives to Georgia! We went with this one because it is big and we are constantly running out of room when we embark on family vacations. I think the next logical stop is a full out cargo van. And I don’t ever expect to get one of those! This at least gives us two more seats to fill.

And so, as I looked at the already rather long list of vehicles we have owned, I can see how God has provided for us. I can trace the growth of my family and the growth of financial stability as God has blessed my business. It is a fun and not entirely pointless retrospective.

July 31, 2006

The Pacific Campaign of the Second World War has always fascinated me. In many ways, it seemed like a nonsensical series of battles between the United States and Japan. As the Americans sought revenge for the devastation of Pearl Harbor, and as they sought to curtail Japanese aggression in the East, they fought their way across the Pacific Ocean, moving slowly and deliberately from island to island. Tiny, seemingly insignificant pieces of rock, jutting from the midst of a boundless ocean, hundreds of miles, thousands even, from the nearest mainland, became fierce battlegrounds. Tens of thousands of lives were lost in conquering little islands. And yet these islands were far more important than their size may have indicated, for they were able to serve as air bases from which strikes could be launched against other islands, and eventually against Japan itself. The insignificant islands were crucial stepping stones across the vast Pacific Ocean.

There are many lessons we can learn from the Pacific Campaign. Some apply to warfare, but others apply far beyond. One of the most important is this: little things lead to big things. This is as true in warfare as it is in the hearts of men and women.

The Spirit has been challenging me lately to deal with little sins. As with so many other believers, I often tend to feel that I’m a pretty good guy. I have never committed any of the really “bad” sins. I’ve never killed anyone, I’ve never committed adultery and I’ve never stolen anything big enough for anyone to notice that it’s missing. I pay my taxes, stick near the speed limit, and try not to hate people. But while I have not committed those big sins, I’ve come to realize just how open I have become to the little sins. To use our military metaphor, while the mainland has not yet been conquered, I can see how I’ve gleefully allowed island after island to fall to Satan. Surely concentrated attacks on the mainland cannot be far behind. Surely big sins will follow these little ones.

The Prince of Preachers, Charles Spurgeon, likens Satan’s attacks to bridging a gulf. “If it be desired to bridge a gulf, it is often the custom to shoot an arrow, and cross it with a line almost as thin as film. That line passes over and a string is drawn after it, and after that some small rope, and after that a cable, and after that the swinging suspension bridge, that makes a way for thousands.” Not too long ago, the Toronto press reported on a local man who had committed a horrifying murder. A bit of a loner, this man began to use his home computer to look at pornography. Soon light pornography was not enough to satisfy him and he began to look at things that were increasingly perverse. Before long he was seeking after child pornography. And one day, as he was looking at these horrible acts played out on his computer screen, he looked out his window and saw a young child walking by. Without planning, without having seriously considered that he might do this, he snatched her from the street. A couple of days later, the police found her body. The man turned himself in and confessed to the crime, insisting that he had not meant to do something so horrifying, so evil. It is likely true that this was not an act that had been planned for a long time. Satan had conquered island after island in this man’s heart until he finally reached the mainland. A series of small beginnings led to a horrible end. Spurgeon warns against allowing these little sins. “Oh! take heed of those small beginnings of sin. Beginnings of sin are like the letting out of water: first, there is an ooze; then a drip; then a slender stream; then a vein of water; and then, at last, a flood: and a rampart is swept before it, a continent is drowned. Take heed of small beginnings, for they lead to worse.”

Stories like that of the man who murdered the little girl terrify me. It’s not that I enjoy pornography or have ever considered seeking out child pornography. Rather, it is the lesson behind the story—the lesson that little things lead to big things. Thomas Brooks, the Puritan, wrote, “Greater sins do sooner startle the soul, and awaken and rouse up the soul to repentance, than lesser sins do. Little sins often slide into the soul, and breed, and work secretly and undiscernibly in the soul, till they come to be so strong as to trample upon the soul, and to cut the throat of the soul.” If this is true in the life of an average guy who murdered a little child, could it not be true in my life?

in God’s Way of Holiness, Horatius Bonar wrote, “The avoidance of little evils, little sins, little inconsistencies, little weaknesses, little follies, little indiscretions and imprudences, little foibles, little indulgences of self and of the flesh, little acts of indolence or indecision or slovenliness or cowardice, little equivocations or aberrations from high integrity, little touches of shabbiness and meanness, little indifferences to the feelings or wishes of others, little outbreaks of temper, or crossness, or selfishness, or vanity—the avoidance of such little things as these goes far to make up at least the negative beauty of a holy life.” Jerry Bridges is astute in pointing out that “it is in the minutiae of life where most of us live day after day.” Few of us are regularly faced with the outright decision of whether or not to commit adultery, but each of us is faced each day with the temptation of stealing a single lustful look or allowing a single lustful fantasy to play out in our minds.

We may think we avoid evil by fleeing the sins we perceive to be greater. But Jesus dealt harshly with such thoughts. “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.” Jesus gave no quarter to sin. He knew that sin begins in the heart and it begins not with a great act of sin, but with many small acts. Surely Cain first grumbled against Abel, and then plotted against him before finally murdering him. Surely David allowed himself to think lustful thoughts and surely he went to the roof of his palace knowing what he might see. Those little sins led to breathtakingly horrifying, ungodly acts of lust and anger.

The truth is, that every sin, whether large or small, is a declaration of war against God. In the current Israeli-Lebanon crisis, we see this principle played out. The Hezbollah sent a few troops across the border into Israel. They did not send an entire army, but only a small squad of soldiers. Still, this was as much a declaration of war as if they had sent every solider under their command. Israel perceived this for the statement it was and reacted accordingly. In the same way even a small sin is a declaration of war against God. After all, Adam and Eve did not commit adultery and did not murder—they merely ate a piece of fruit that God had told them not to eat. This may seem only a small sin, but it is a sin that has made all the difference.

I have been challenged in my life to guard against the small sins—those sins that seem so small, so insignificant. I have come to see through Scripture and through human experience how those sins soon lead to others. They are but the beginnings of much greater sins. Each and every one, no matter how insignificant it may seem, is a declaration of war and an act of war against the Creator. And if I do not guard against these sins, soon island after island will be conquered and only the mainland will remain, weak and unprotected. Thanks be to God that He provides the strength and the power to reconquer and reclaim islands that have already fallen to the enemy. He has won battles, but by the grace of God he will be pushed back, further and further from the mainland, and will not win the war.

July 27, 2006

This is my 1000th consecutive day of blogging. This occasion has given me the opportunity to reflect on what blogging has meant to me over the past years and what I expect to see and do in the future. I hate writing about myself. It seems so prideful. So arrogant. So empty. I’ve long been inspired by the words of the great British preacher and philanthropist Andrew Reed who, when asked by his sons to help them prepare a memoir of his life replied, “I was born yesterday, I shall die tomorrow. I must not spend today in telling what I have done, but in doing what I can for Him who has done all for me.” But let me reflect briefly on what God has done for me in the past 1000 days.

On October 31, 2003 this site was languishing for lack of attention. I had begun the site almost a year before but had been sporadic at best in adding content. I often went weeks or even a month at a time without posting. In fact, the site resembled most other hobbies I had attempted to that point in my life—what I had begun with enthusiasm was soon mere annoyance. I was a pretty sorry excuse for a blogger and decided that I would either need to shape up and dedicate myself to blogging or give up and find something else to do with my time. And so, I decided that I would attempt to commit to blogging every day for an entire year. While I am an undisciplined person, I am also stubborn and, to my great surprise, I managed to make it through the year without missing a day. I recommitted and worked my way through a second year. And now the end of the third year is drawing near and I’m still at it. In the meantime, I’ve reached this silly little milestone.

Through the years I’ve often had to ask myself if blogging is a servant or a master. Am I so committed to blogging because it has a hold over me? Or does blogging serve a better, more noble end? There have been a few times that concerned believers have asked these questions of me, wondering if my commitment to blogging owes more to stubbornness or arrogance than true desire or spiritual benefit. My reply has always been, and as I foresee it, will continue to be, that blogging is so entwined with my spiritual disciplines that to cease would be a great loss to me. There are some who suggest that I should at least stop writing while I am on vacation. To these people I reply that, just as it would not be noble to cease times of private worship when on vacation, in the same way it would not be virtuous for me to cease writing, even while on holiday. Of course it was not always this way. When I began my one-year commitment, writing was often drudgery and I stuck with it more out of stubbornness than desire. But as time went on God, through His grace, allowed blogging to become a joy and a privilege. Just a few days ago, reflecting on Jerry Bridges’ book The Discipline of Grace I summarized one of his points in this way: “Discipline, commitment, conviction and Godly habits are closely related. It is important that we are disciplined, but only after we have been convicted and have set a direction towards godliness.” I have seen this proven true in my life, for God has been so gracious in granting me a measure of His grace so that my commitment and discipline, which followed conviction, have led me closer to Him.

The truth is that I am an undisciplined person and blogging provides the structure and accountability I need to continue to grow in godly habits. Lying behind the decision to keep blogging is the conviction that I need to grow in grace and that I need assistance in maintaining the commitment to do so. Blogging provides this accountability, for when I stop following hard after God, I soon have nothing to say; nothing to write. It is during the times of greatest spiritual growth that I find myself expressing my newfound joy and faith through my writing. In moments of great honesty I may even be willing to admit that I am almost scared to stop blogging, for I do not know how I would react to having this discipline disappear.

A couple of days ago Francisco, a reader of this site, posted a quote by Keith Green in the comments section of an article I wrote dealing with influence. The words, which I have often read before, hit me hard. “I repent of ever having recorded one single song, and ever having performed one concert, if my music, and more importantly, my life has not provoked you into godly jealousy or to sell out more completely to Jesus!” I hope I can say that I repent of ever having written a single word, of having posted an article, if my writing, and more importantly, my life has not provoked you into godly jealousy or to trust more completely in Jesus (I de-hippied the language a little bit). While it somehow strikes me as nearly impossible to do and almost breathtakingly arrogant to say, this is the kind of person I wish to be. I’m sure this is the kind of man God wants me to be. I believe it is His expectation for all of us.

When I look back at what I have written over the past couple of years, I am often ashamed by my lack of grace or my lack of godliness. There are many times where I know that what I have written could not possibly lead to godliness or to any type of godly jealousy. I hope and trust that I see less of this now than in the earlier days of this site. I believe that God has been teaching me grace and teaching me about the wideness of His love and mercy. I trust that He has been leading me to imitate Him in this area. And so I take this opportunity to repent of the times that I have written words which destroyed rather than edified, or which discouraged instead of encouraged. I repent of the times that I have allowed my sinful hates and fears to make their way onto this site and onto your computer screen. I ask your forgiveness.

At the same time I beg your continued patience and forgiveness, for I know that God still has much to teach me. And yet, I am excited to see what happens in the coming weeks, months or years. I have no idea how long this site will continue. I kind of hope it continues for many more thousands of days. But perhaps God has other plans. He has been good to me to this point and I’m sure He will continue to bless me in the future. I am but His servant.

Blogging has been an inestimable privilege. I have had the privilege of receiving, reading and reviewing so many books. I have been blessed by being invited to attend and liveblog several wonderful conferences and look forward to serving at many more. But perhaps the greatest benefit has been in the way God has used the site to allow me to meet so many godly men and women, followers of Christ whose words, lives and examples have provoked me to godly jealousy and have encouraged me to trust more completely in the Savior. I have been blessed by meeting you, perhaps face-to-face or perhaps only online, and receiving just a foretaste of the love and joy we will share together before the King.

Truly God has been good to me.

Incidentally, I noticed this today at the ESV Blog. Several months ago I sent through a button and suggested they provide it to bloggers who would like to maintain the ESV as their “default” translation, much as Christian books usually announce the default translation in the opening pages. I guess the ESV folks decided to use today as the occasion to make the button public.

July 14, 2006

A couple of months ago I wrote about Tiazzi’s last day. Tiazzi was our dog and, unfortunately, she began to lose her mind. Because her behavior was becoming increasingly erratic, we conferred with her veterinarian and decided that it would be best to put her down. It was a very difficult decision, but we are confident that we made the right choice. In order to help the children deal with the loss of the dog (whom they didn’t really like, but who had been in the family as long as they had been alive) we bought a small aquarium and some fish. They have gotten a great deal of pleasure out of taking care of these fish and going with me to Big Al’s, the absolutely superb fish store near our home. They chose a variety of colorful fish and even a couple of shrimp to live in their aquarium. They love to feed their fish and to show them off to anyone who comes to the house.

We have quickly learned that the average lifespan of a fish is significantly shorter than that of a dog. Fish, and tropical fish in particular, are not the hardiest animals and are prone to suffer from fluctuations in water quality and temperature and even from plain old stress. This morning I went downstairs to see one of the little blue guppies lying on the gravel at the bottom of the tank. Just yesterday he had been zipping around looking lively, but by this morning he was dead. Quite dead.

I stuck my hand in the tank and fished around (no pun intended) until I managed to get ahold of the slippery little thing. I hauled him out of the water and took a quick look at him. I was struck by how different he looked. The night before he had been brilliantly-colored with shimmering silver scales and beautiful streaks of blue through his tail. But this morning the blue was dull, the tail had collapsed and his body was pale and grey. He looked dead. Really dead.

It struck me just how much something that is dead looks dead. There is no disguising it. If you have been to a funeral that had an open casket you will know what I mean. A dead body looks dead. People usually insist that the person in the coffin looks just like he did when he was alive, but he doesn’t really. No matter what we do, no matter how much makeup we apply or how much we try to fool ourselves, a dead person looks dead just like a dead fish looks dead.

Children are born dead. I was reflecting on this just a short time ago when I came across a well-known excerpt from Augustine’s Confessions. Naturally, being the father of three young children, the subject of children and their sin has been much on my mind lately. Just this morning I had one of those experiences where one of my children proved her sin. “Eat your breakfast,” I said. “But I’m full,” she replied. This is a routine we go through at every meal (except for those occasional meals where we eat some type of junk food). She always eats half of her meal and then insists that she cannot eat another bite. “You’ve only eaten half a plum. You’re going to eat the whole thing. You can and you will.” Without missing a beat my little three year-old bundle of joy replied, “I can’t and I won’t!” She’s a little sinner, that child, just like her father and mother were until we grew up to become big sinners.

Here is what Augustine had to say about himself as an infant:

At that time I knew only how to suck and be deliciously comforted, and how to cry when anything hurt my body, but no more.

After this I began to smile, at first only in my sleep and then when I was awake. So I have been told, and I believe it on the strength of what we see other babies doing, for I do not remember doing it myself. Little by little I began to notice where I was, and I would try to make my wishes known to those who might satisfy them; but I was frustrated in this, because my desires were inside me, while other people were outside and could by no effort of understanding enter my mind. So I tossed about and screamed, sending signals meant to indicate what I wanted, those few signs that were the best I could manage, though they did not really express my desires. Often I did not get my way, either because people did not understand or because what I demanded might have harmed me, and then I would throw a tantrum because my elders were not subject to me, nor free people willing to be my slaves; so I would take revenge on them by bursting into tears. I have learned that babies behave like this from those I have been able to watch, and they without knowing it have taught me more surely what I was like myself than did my nurses who knew me well.

Augustine goes on to make a penetrating observation about human nature. “The weakness then of an infant’s limbs, not its will, is its innocence.” An infant is innocent only because it is incapable of acting out the sin and the rage that lives within. Were an infant able, she would surely lash out and cause pain and harm. And, as all parents soon realize, this is precisely what children do as soon as they are able. Children are dead.

I assume my children are dead. They say they love God and, to some extent at least, I’m sure they do. They love to hear stories from the Bible and love to learn the truths that lie beneath those stories. They even love to pray and to sing to God. And yet in so many ways they look dead. None of them has claimed thus far to have been given new life. It has been my prayer, since before any of them were born, that God would grant them this new life. I am confident He will do so, but only when the time is right. While some children turn to Him at a very young age, so many wait until they are a little bit older. So my wife and I continue to pray and continue to teach the children. We continue to trust that the obvious signs of death will begin to fade and that new life will course through their veins; through their souls.

I guess that’s what the Christian life is all about. It is about being delivered from this body of death. It is about relying upon and yet working with with the Spirit to make what we know to be true positionally become true practically. It is about preaching the gospel to all men, but first and always, to ourselves. For if we are to be men and women that claim to be alive, we must look alive.

July 11, 2006

I continued in my reading of Jerry Bridge’s The Discipline of Grace this morning. I am only a few chapters into the book and have already learned a great deal from it. Though it was written in 1994, it seems that I missed its first publishing and am glad to have discovered it after the second. The book flows logically from the groundwork laid in Bridge’s classic The Pursuit of Holiness. In this book he attempts to differentiate and reconcile God’s role and our role in the pursuit of holiness.

The third chapter of The Discipline of Grace is an exhortation to Christians to preach the gospel to themselves. Bridges draws upon a survey R.C. Sproul has often mentioned which asked people attending a large Christian convention to define the gospel. Tragically, of the many questioned, only one was able to provide a definition that could be considered accurate. While we cannot conclude that the people who were unable to give an adequate answer were not Christians, it does show that many believers have been poorly taught and have only a minimal knowledge of the gospel. “These observations constitute a serious indictment of our evangelical discipling process. The gospel is not only the most important message in all of history; it is the only essential message in all of history. Yet we allow thousands of professing Christians to live their entire lives without clearly understanding it and experiencing the joy of living by it.” Bridges believes, as do I, that churches are guilty of too often giving unbelievers just enough of the gospel to get him or her to pray a prayer to receive Christ as Savior. At that point we put the gospel aside and focus instead on the duties of discipleship such as personal holiness, Christian service and spiritual disciplines.

But the gospel is not just about a moment of salvation. The gospel is a message that saves, but also a message that sustains. It is a message we all need to hear all the time. Bridges spends the rest of the third chapter examining and defining the gospel and encouraging believers to preach this gospel to themselves on a daily basis. He applies the gospel to daily life, showing how it needs to be central to the Christian walk.

As I read this chapter I was suddenly struck by how little the recounting of the gospel story was affecting me. I was ashamed that reading of such good news could leave me so unaffected. I read of the absolute best news a man could ever hear: “The righteousness of Jesus Christ is imputed or credited to us forever. From the day we trust in Christ as our Savior, on throughout eternity, we stand before God clothed in the righteousness of Jesus Christ.” I read about redemption: “Justice has been satisfied: the penalty has been fully paid by the Lord Jesus Christ. In a sense, to justify is to declare that the claims of justice have been fully met.” I read about the turning away of God’s wrath. “The Lord Jesus Christ by His sacrifice on the cross appeased and turned aside God’s just and holy wrath, the wrath we should have borne.” It isn’t that I was bored or uninterested - just unmoved. And after reading a few pages more I realized that I had to stop and repent. How is it that I could read of what Christ has done for me and not be filled with praise and thanksgiving? As I stopped to think about this I began to think about heaven and how incredible it will be to sit constantly in God’s presence and to always be filled with awe and praise. The cherubim are always before God’s throne and are always crying out about His holiness. They never grow tired of this, nor could they, for they dwell in the fullness of His presence. And, I trust, this is the way it will be when I stand before God. Never more will the gospel leave me unaffected. Never again will I hear or read or learn of what God has done with ambivalence.

But that may be a long time off. For now, I will have to continue to strive after holiness, to preach that gospel message to myself, and to repent when even news so joyous leaves me unmoved.

July 03, 2006

I was thrilled several years ago to hear that the book The Lord of the Rings was going to be made into a series of epic films. With production budgets in the hundreds of millions of dollars and the bulk of the work being done outside of Hollywood, I knew this series was going to be good! But more than being able to watch a great series of films, I was thrilled to know that a book I had read several times and for which I had great respect would be brought into the mainstream. Not too long ago people who read The Lord of the Rings were considered just a bit weird. When we brought the book up in conversation it would often earn us a look that said “you’re not one of those Dungeons and Dragons people, are you?” I am not. I simply enjoy a good story and J.R.R. Tolkien was a master storyteller.

Now that The Lord of the Rings has entered the mainstream, we who have known and loved the story for many years can finally use its rich depths for purposes of illustration. It is that which I intend to do today.

Tolkien writes about a kingdom called Gondor which for many years has not had a king. While waiting for the rightful heir to come and claim his throne, a series of stewards has been placed in charge of the land. The steward in charge at the time of the events described in the book is named Denethor and he has two sons, Boromir and Faramir, both of whom figure prominently in the story (and subsequently, in the movie). As steward of the land, Denethor has the power of the king but without the title. He is able to make decisions and to pass judgment. He receives the respect and admiration of the people of the land. His primary task is to do whatever is best for the land in the absence of the rightful ruler. In all he does he is to remember his position - to remember that he is not the king. As a constant reminder of his temporary position he is forbidden to rule from the king’s throne.

“…awe fell upon him as he looked down that avenue of kings long dead. At the far end upon a dais of many steps was set a throne under a canopy of marble shaped like a crowned helm; behind it was carved upon the wall and set with gems an image of a tree in flower. But the throne was empty. At the foot of the dais, upon the lowest step which was broad and deep, there was a stone chair, black and unadorned, and on it sat an old man gazing at his lap.”

That man, of course, is the steward. Where the king was allowed the full honor of sitting upon the throne, surrounded by splendor, the steward is consigned to rule from a plain, unadorned chair that sat at the foot of the throne.

Denethor is not a very good steward. He dreads the day the king returns, for he knows that with the return of the king will come his own return to obscurity. He jealously guards the power that had been given him and does not look forward to the day when he will have to relinquish the kingdom to its rightful owner. This attitude affects his decisions, for he often makes decisions based on his own desire for preservation rather than based on what is best for the kingdom he has sworn to protect. We find him saying:

“…the Lord of Gondor is not to be made the tool of other men’s purposes, however worthy. And to him there is no purpose higher in the world as it now stands than the good of Gondor; and the rule of Gondor, my lord, is mine and no other man’s, unless the king should come again.” To this Gandalf replied “Unless the king should come again? Well, my lord Steward, it is your task to keep some kingdom against that even, which few now look to see.”

The steward is failing in his duty to properly care for what has been entrusted to him. We learn later that he had been going beyond the care of his office and had become corrupted by the enemy. His abuse of what had been entrusted to him leads to his own corruption.

So why do I use this illustration? I use it because the concept of stewardship is largely foreign to our culture. We understand ownership, borrowing, leasing and mortgaging but have little knowledge of stewardship. Yet it is a crucial concept in the Bible and one that we ought to know well. And here in the mainstream is a wonderful example of stewardship gone wrong.

The Bible tells us that we are stewards of the talents, treasures and gifts God has given to us. Each of us is responsible to be a faithful steward with the gifts and talents with which God has blessed us. Where God has given richly, much is expected in return. At no time does God give us full and final ownership of what He has given us. We need to realize that we are but stewards.

Where God gives me treasure I need to ensure that I do not begin to believe that it is mine. I need to seek God’s wisdom on how He, as king, would have me use it. He has given me His instruction manual in The Bible which gives me the guidelines I need to understand what he would have me do. When God tells me to let go of the money He has entrusted to my care, I need to immediately and cheerfully open my hand and let it go.

God has blessed me with three beautiful children, yet I know that I have them only on trust. God has made me steward of those children. As such I need to dedicate myself to raising them in a way that would please Him, knowing that at any moment He could choose to take them back to Himself.

We will return briefly to our story.

Drunk with corruption and power and unwilling to hand over the kingdom, Denethor, steward of Gondor, takes his own life, ending his years of poor stewardship. His son, Faramir, takes his place. Soon the heir to the throne returns to Gondor and Faramir has an opportunity to prove his character.

“Faramir met Aragorn [the rightful king] in the midst of those there assembled, and he knelt, and said: “The last steward of Gondor begs leave to surrender his office.”…Then Faramir stood up and spoke in a clear voice: “Men of Gondor, hear now the Steward of this realm! Behold! One has come to claim the kingship again at last. Here is Aragorn son of Arathorn…Shall he be king and enter into the city and dwell there?” And all the host and all the people cried yea with one voice.”

Moments later, when the new king has been crowned, it is Faramir who leads the cries of “Behold the king!”

Faramir was everything his father was not. He was a good steward who looked forward to the return of the king and was willing and ready to hand what had been entrusted to him to its rightful owner. Faramir proved his character.

When the King returns He will ask me if I have been a faithful steward. He will examine the evidence and where He gave me much He will expect much in return. It is my hope and my prayer that I will be faithful with what He has given me, so that I can hear Him say that I have been a good steward, faithfully doing the will of my King. When the King returns I pray that instead of grumbling, instead of holding on, I will be able to let go and lead the chorus of “Behold the king!” and watch with a glad heart as the King assumes the throne. For the throne is His.