A little while ago I participated in one of those silly memes that made its way around the Net, filling out a list of really boring things about myself. My mom enjoyed it but figured she could do better. Today she and Aileen got a couple of my sisters together (since we’re all together for Christmas) and came up with a list of things they knew would embarrass me. They told me I had to post it on my site. So here goes. Ten things about me (or memories from my family members) you probably didn’t know…
Tim is eight. His brother is twelve. They have been left to co-babysit their three little sisters. When we come home, Tim produces a pan of strawberry tarts he has baked from a recipe taken from his sister’s “Anne of Green Gables” cookbook.
Tim has discovered business principles—specifically profit. He sneaks off school property, buys penny candy, then retails it at school for much more than he paid. We only find out about this many years later.
Tim and his family are in the heart of London, England. His middle sister has gone missing, lost in the crowds. The kids are commanded to “Sit! Stay!” while we split up to go and look for her. And off we go. We come back minutes later without her—but there she is. Tim has disobeyed orders, found her, and brought her safely back.
A stove element has started a grease fire. Mom and sisters run out of the house. Tim, eight, runs in and puts out the fire. Nothing a little soda won’t fix.
Tim is five years old and has just returned from his first day in school. He sees a little neighbour boy, four years old, waiting to greet him. “Hi, kid” he says, and ruffles his hair. He’s a big kid now.
Tim is now a teenager and has a new hobby—breeding and raising love birds. The stench! Threats and revilings from mother! Eventually mom ends up cleaning the cages at five dollars per cage. Tim considers it a good deal. Sigh.
Tim has a temper and once, blam, his fist goes through the basement wall. All his parents know is that he has become a convinced non-smoker. Why else would that non-smoking sign appear, so strategically placed in his room? Dad finds and patches it after Tim gets married and moves out.
Nothing is too good for Tim’s girlfriend, Aileen. As a matter of fact, he wants to marry her. But the expense of Ancaster’s finest restaurant is prohibitive to his twenty year-old budget. Hold on! His sister has won a $100 gift card to that restaurant as a prize for her long-distance running. And somehow that card wends its way into Tim’s wallet.
Tim and his friend Brian are racing on their bikes to Tim’s house, where they will share a bag of chips—Brian’s treat. All of a sudden Tim goes over his handlebars and into the ditch. Brian rides up, looks down at the twisted mess of boy and bike and with anguish on his face cries, “My chips!” And somehow they are still friends.
Tim is a middle-schooler aiming at being the best “mediocre” he can be. “Mrs. Challies,” says his teacher, “Tim is a very average boy.” To which the principal later responds, “Mrs. Challies, Mr. ________ is a very average teacher…”