Should We Exercise “Pronoun Hospitality?”

It’s a question each of us will have to face if we haven’t already—should I use another person’s preferred pronouns? For some the question will come up in a context that is innocuous, and the decision may involve no negative repercussions. But for some the question will come up in a context in which they stand to lose something as substantial as respect, a job, or even a relationship with a child. The authors of the book The Gender Revolution speak to the subject of so-called “pronoun hospitality” along with the pressure to tell others your own preferred pronouns and provide their guidance. The use of preferred pronouns and ‘neopronouns’ (such as ‘ze’ and ‘zir’) is highly contentious, even among like-minded Christians who agree about other aspects of this issue. Some see it as a matter of courtesy to accede to the use of a person’s preferred pronouns and to state your own. This is based on a belief that even if you disagree with the ideology driving the use of alternate pronouns, a willingness to use them can be a way of preserving a relationship and avoiding unnecessary offence. Christian psychologist Mark Yarhouse says, “It is an act of respect, even if we disagree, to let the person determine what they want to be called. If we can’t grant them that, it’s going to be next to impossible to establish any sort of relationship with them. Preston Sprinkle calls this approach “pronoun hospitality”, and believes that “using the pronouns a person identifies with should … Continue reading Should We Exercise “Pronoun Hospitality?”