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  • Twenty Years

    Twenty Years Ago Today

    Twenty years ago Aileen and I each woke up in our parents’ homes. Twenty years ago I walked into St. John’s Anglican Church through the side door while, a few minutes later, she walked in through the main doors. Twenty years ago we looked into each other’s eyes and said our “I do’s.” Twenty years…

  • The Space Between Courting and Hooking Up

    I have often reflected on how and why dating has become so difficult in the 20 years since it was of any real concern to me. At least, when speaking to today’s young adults and observing their lives, it sure seems there has been a significant shift. Something has changed between then and now so…

  • Jesus and Marriage

    Don’t Leave Jesus Out of Your Marriage

    I recently had the opportunity to speak and preach on marriage. This is always a tremendous challenge personally. There’s nothing like spending a couple of weeks deep in what the Bible says about marriage to expose my insufficiencies as a husband and to come face-to-face with all the ways I fail to be all God…

  • Submission, Not Subjection

    It’s Submission, Not Subjection

    The Bible has a lot to say about submission. It’s a theme, a command, that appears with regularity. Christians are told to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21). Wives are instructed to submit to their own husbands (Ephesians 5:22). Church members are directed to submit to their pastors (Hebrews 13:17).…

  • How To Love Your Wife As Christ Loved the Church

    As a Christian husband, you are not left wondering or speculating about what it means to carry out your role in a way that pleases God and blesses your wife. To the contrary, the Bible provides clear guidance: You are to love your wife as Christ loves his church. In the closing verses of Ephesians…

  • Ask Me Anything church

    Ask Me Anything: Advice for Marriage and Concerns in the Church Today

    One of my favorite things to do is answer questions, and especially when I’ve got no idea what those questions will be. Today I’ve got two more short videos for you, both of which were shot at a recent Ask Me Anything event in London, England. The first is some advice for those about to…

  • Just Forget About Marriage for a Minute!

    We are a people obsessed with love. We crave love and long to both extend and receive it. It is the subject of our favorite films, the theme of our treasured poems, the thrill of our happy hearts. Yet for all the love we see and experience, there is one much greater than them all.…

  • Why We Cringe at “Submit”

    A couple of times I’ve run into people who are familiar with the kind of Reformed theology I hold to and are eager to challenge me. Along the way they’ve said something like this: “I don’t believe in predestination.” That brings about an easy response: “The question isn’t whether you believe in predestination, but what…

  • Love Languages

    The Problem with Love Languages – Three-Minute Thursdays #3

    If you are a Christian (and maybe even if you’re not) you’ve probably heard of “love languages.” I believe love languages can be both helpful and unhelpful depending how we use them. In this video I try to explain where they are helpful and where perhaps they aren’t. Here it is in Facebook and YouTube…

  • On Losing the Ability to Type (and The Ol’ Ball and Chain)

    I’m doing things a little bit differently today. For now at least, I’ve mostly lost the ability to type, so am going to try my hand at a little bit of video. If you want, you can click play to learn more. Transcript We’ve got lights. We’ve got a camera. We’ve got a microphone. Let’s…

  • What is the purpose of marriage

    What’s the Purpose of … Marriage?

    Today I am kicking off a new series of articles that is going to ask the simplest of questions: “What’s the purpose of …?” Though the question is simple, the answers can be difficult and even controversial. We’ll begin with the home: What’s the purpose of marriage? What’s the purpose of sex? What’s the purpose…

  • Let the Wife See She Respects Her Husband

    Let the Wife See She Respects Her Husband

    This is an article I’ve prepared with no small amount of trepidation. In the past I’ve written frequently and confidently about the role of a husband within his marriage, and especially about how it is tersely and perfectly summarized in Ephesians 5:33: “Let each one of you love his wife as himself.” But the last…

  • Treasure Your Marriage

    Treasure Your Marriage

    I won’t ever forget the day I married Aileen. I won’t ever forget the moment she appeared at the end of the aisle and began her slow walk toward me. Our eyes met, and in an instant I was overwhelmed with awe, overcome with the joy of being joined together for life. It was a…

  • 10 Common but Illegitimate Reasons to Divorce

    10 Common but Illegitimate Reasons to Divorce

    It is clear in the Bible that God’s intention for marriage is that it remain in effect until the death of one spouse. I believe it is also quite clear that God has provided a limited set of circumstances in which a marriage can legitimately be severed. However, many people—even Christians—offer reasons to divorce that…

  • Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage

    We are well-served with books on marriage. Whether we are approaching our wedding day or closing in on our 50th anniversary, we’ve got lots of wise counsel to turn to: The Meaning of Marriage by Tim and Kathy Keller, Married for God by Christopher Ash, When Sinners Say, “I Do,” by Dave Harvey, and on…

  • 10 Issues To Work Through Before You Get Married

    10 Issues To Work Through Before You Get Married

    Some people get married too soon. After love at first sight and a whirlwind romance, they quickly plan a wedding, exchange rings, and settle into a marriage that soon turns sour. So much pain can be avoided by working through issues before that wedding day. While courtship and engagement is, of course, the time to…

  • Two Different Ways to Think About Sex in Marriage

    Two Different Ways to Think About Sex in Marriage

    You have no right to a secret sex life. If you are married, you have no right to do anything outside the knowledge and consent of your spouse. That includes adultery, of course, but it also includes sinful fantasies and all manner of self-gratification. It’s simple. It’s obvious. It’s biblical. But it’s widely ignored. You…

  • Like the Shepherd

    The great challenge in marriage is not to love our wives more but to love ourselves less, for it is self-love that generates so much of the strife we experience. To be successful husbands we must continually put to death within us whatever causes us to prioritize ourselves, our own interests, our own comfort, our…

  • Keep On Learning To Dance

    It’s a metaphor I heard from a friend and one that has stuck with me ever since. It illustrates a common, perhaps even universal, experience within marriage—sexual intimacy is good and wonderful but, maintaining healthy intimacy through all of life’s ups and downs is a life-long challenge. The illustration goes something like this. You are…