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Mom Always Shovels the Drive
- 02/02/11
- 45
I had something I wanted to say today. But then I looked out the window and saw that we had received the big snowfall that everyone had been fussing about for the past 3 or 4 days. I went outside to begin to shovel out (I am so out of shape) and saw something I’ve noted in the past: Mom always shovels the driveway.
It's a phenomenon I've noticed time and again. We live in a neighborhood that has a lot of single moms. I suppose the statistics dictate that most neighborhoods have more than their fair share of single moms. But ours seems to have an unusual amount. I think it is related to the housing prices here. We live in (quite literally) the most affordable housing in town. It is one of the very few neighborhoods in the area where a single income can support a mortgage. It is one of the few neighborhoods that is nice, that is safe and where the homes are small enough to be affordable. And so we have many young couples, many elderly couples, and many single parents. The single moms may have one child, they may have two or three. In most cases the children are teenagers, in their twenties or even in their early thirties. In every case there is at least one boy thirteen or older who is able-bodied. Yet in almost every case, mom is the one who shovels the driveway.
I remember being a rebellious, listless teenager. I remember how little I wanted to do much of anything for anyone else. I remember our elderly next-door neighbor had a heart attack and was unable to do any strenuous labor. We had a good snowfall one day and I was enjoying the day in the refuge of my basement bedroom, lying across my bed reading a book and listening to some music. My father came down and told me in no uncertain terms that I was to go upstairs, get my winter gear on and get outside to shovel the neighbor's driveway. He gave me a figurative (and perhaps literal--my memory is a little hazy) kick in the rear-end and sent me on my way. I went outside and there was my neighbor's wife, shoveling the drive. I pitched in and soon had it cleared. The lesson has stuck.
Dad had high expectations of me, but reasonable, biblical ones. He wanted me to be active and proactive in service to others; he wanted me to be looking for opportunities to serve and for opportunities to serve as a man serves; he wanted me to use my growing (and now diminishing) strength to serve other people.
I have a boy of my own now and I can see that some of what was in me is in him. He is a good kid, a kind soul. Yet he is sometimes as reluctant to serve as I was when I was young. I am seeking to teach him that he is to use his strength, his ability to serve others and especially to serve those who are weaker or less able than he is. It will not be long before my son is stronger than my wife. Already when they goof around together I can see that she does not have a whole lot on him. What becomes of a mom when she has children who are bigger than she is, stronger than she is, and yet with so little maturity, so little restraint? What happens when there is no one to mentor the boy, to teach him that his strength must be used to serve others?
This is a lesson a father needs to pass to his son. It's a lesson that no one has taught to so many of the boys who live around me. A little while ago I saw a mother struggling with a load of groceries while her boys pushed past one another and past her to get into the house. I stopped them and told them to get back to the car to help their mother. They looked at me blankly and walked into their house, mumbling an excuse. Mom struggled down the walkway she had shoveled with the groceries she was forced to carry. Dad is long gone. There is no one to give these boys the good, swift kick to the posterior that would get them acting like men.
I am a follower of Jesus Christ, a husband to Aileen and a father to three young children. I worship and serve as a pastor at 
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Comments (45)
Thank you. That needed to be said.
What a truth! I live in military housing in the North Chicago area. When the men are gone, I notice that many women are the ones doing the shoveling. I’ve pitched in a couple of times and need to do more. I’ve also helped jump a car, fix a washer, and some other odds and ends. I can’t be the only one to do this, so maybe it’s that military communities are more apt to help each other, I don’t know. I’m pretty sure people have helped my wife when I’ve been on deployment as well.
Most importantly, however, is that I agree with you on the young man issue. My son is only 7, but I want him to start learning that he is to humble himself and lend his growing strength to those in need. He has a real heart to help people, but it’s between them and his Wii right now, and the Wii is winning…what an indictment!
Practical post, Tim! We need to serve one another in our homes and in our neighborhoods.
My hands and back are weak now because of a crash in December when I was driving. I asked our chiropractor why my husband didn’t get as injured as I was. The answer? “Men are stronger physically.”
When we lived “in town,” my wife was the one who trained me to shovel the sidewalks of several of our elderly/single-mom neighbors every time I did our own sidewalk (not that my father didn’t do a good job of getting me off my a** frequently when I was young). Thanks, Dad and Sandy.
A strong father, who is consistently present, is essential for a boy. I do in-home counseling for boys and families where nearly all households that I visit are headed by a single mother with an able-bodied boy. But as you observed, the boy(s) are passive and irresponsible, lacking in leadership abilities, and in my eyes, quite unhappy and joyless. Though I do my best to support, encourage, and even insist upon painful service to others, after a couple of hours I leave the home and do not return until the following week. A boy needs a dad who is just. A father who is lovingly and consistently present. Who sets a high bar for expectations that won’t fall by the wayside as soon as he is out of sight. A boy requires a dad, a father! In the absence of an earthly father, The Lord is willing to be The Father to the fatherless. The following Psalm seems to describe far too many households in our neighborhoods.
Psalm 68
1(A) God shall arise, his enemies shall be(B) scattered; and those who hate him shall flee before him!2As(C) smoke is driven away, so you shall drive them away; (D) as wax melts before fire, so the wicked shall perish before God!3But(E) the righteous shall be glad; they shall exult before God; they shall be jubilant with joy! 4Sing to God,(F) sing praises to his name; (G) lift up a song to him who(H) rides through(I) the deserts;his name is(J) the LORD; exult before him!5(K) Father of the fatherless and(L) protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.6God(M) settles the solitary in a home; he(N) leads out the prisoners to prosperity, but(O) the rebellious dwell in(P) a parched land.
Frankly, the best answer of all is for EVERYONE in the family to get out and shovel. It’s good winter exercise, it makes the job go faster, and it makes it less likely that dad is going to hurt himself overdoing it, particularly on a long driveway.
Most agrarian and pre-industrial societies had both sexes doing hard physical work. Sparing the women from that kind of labor is an artificial construct.
That said, single moms do enough hard labor, and if they have sons lying around the house glued to the Xbox, then something is wrong.
Thanks for the practical thought. I think it is just about time to get shoveling…
What a huge problem you’ve addressed here. I pray that this post will spur awareness, prayer and willingness to serve and teach others to the glory of God.
gret post, on a side note, where can i get some of your books tim?
While I agree with the premise of this, ie that a large number of boys are not being raised to be men, I wonder whether this is not a phenomenon in society in general, and not just single parent homes? Seems to me that in most family’s I know, kids are considered “children” and therefore not required to help with the running of the household. I am a single Mom, and my boys, age 10 and 9, are required to help. Not just help, work. They bring in the groceries, not me. They take out the garbage, shovel the walkway, bring in firewood. Because it’s important to me they learn to serve others, and that they know that women are the weaker vessel, and they are to care and provide for the women in their life.
I guess what I’m saying is to tag this as a problem only confined to single-parent homes is incorrect. It is a problem spanning all of society.
During the year my husband was deployed overseas, I was a “single” mom with a toddler living on my own in a small mountain town that experienced record snowfall. There was 7 feet of snow in my driveway and 3 feet on the roof at one point. After each snowfall, I parked my daughter in front of the TV and headed out to dig through the mountain of snow. I usually spent the next two hours gasping for breath and grieving the death of chivalry because on both sides of my house were men using snow blowers to quickly clear their driveways. With each back breaking shovel of heavy snow, I wondered why they never offered to help since they both knew my situation. I would have gladly paid for the gas even. It seems our teenagers aren’t the only ones that have lost the desire to serve.
I agree with Heather - many homes contain children of both sexes who are not required to do anything. I once commented in a church setting that we expected our children to do work around the home and got the snide comeback “oh, is that why you have so many kids?”
However, I think Tim’s comments are right on about boys, in particular. They learn respect and caring best when the expectation bar is set high from the beginning.
“What happens when there is no one to mentor the boy, to teach him that his strength must be used to serve others?”
That quote hit me way too hard. I have been blessed with an amazing father who has taught me how to be a man and never been afraid to tell me when I need to go to work. So many of my friends lack this simple teaching.
This is an issue that is wide spread in colleges as well. I see “college guys” especially with no direction on what it means to be a man getting drunk daily, doing everything they can to avoid work, and abusing women with their eyes and words. It is a dark world on many campuses.
How powerful would it be if we could show these boys (both the younger and the older) what it means to use their strength (both physical and emotional) to serve others.
Andrea, I literally gasped out loud in indignation over this. Shame on those “men”!
Well said! Guys need to step and be the man that God made them…
This is definitely a real problem. I’m a single mother and I can remember moving into my apartment carrying large pieces of furniture while some teen-aged boys sat on the stoop beside my door. They never bothered to help, hold the door or anything. I think you see the same thing with girls. I know most people don’t believe in traditional roles any more and it shows. It’s rare that girls are ever taught how to cook, clean, be hospitable toward others, etc.
We have been humbled by a family up the street from us with a theology quite radically different from ours who constantly ask, “How can we teach our kids to serve others for God’s sake today?”
We once had a snow storm hit late Sunday morning. We were driving home from church and I was already dreading having to dig our way into the house. I found their entire family digging out my driveway. One of the kids said, “We knew you were a pastor and had to work today, so we didn’t want you to have to shovel your own driveway.”
It can be taught, but as Tim’s story shows, it takes determination from godly parents to get this message across.
We do need to teach our boys to be men.
it starts with a door, with lifting a heavy object, with pushing a shovel.
A great post.
David, www.RedLetterBelievers.com, “Salt and Light”
Along the lines of this excellent reflection is a portrayal of manliness as exemplified by Atticus Finch. Worth a read:
http://artofmanliness.com/2011/02/02/lessons-in-manliness-from-atticus-f…
NUTS!! My children are grown and gone. I am going to have to go out today and shovel my own. Unless of course some enterprising young man comes by to earn some money, or his dad tells him to come over and help.
Let’s not make this a beatdown of men. Women must also take some of the blame for the lack of chivalry.
Many men today are routinely attacked by women who feel men should not do anything for them. Men may even be fired from a job for an act of chivalry that boomerangs on them because they happened to assist a woman who felt the assistance was “disempowering.”
I know men who have been fired from their jobs for complementing a female coworker on her appearance. I once told a female coworker that I thought she had “a great fashion sense.” After being tongue-lashed for the compliment, I soon learned not to say anything.
Not every obvious behavior is as obvious as it seems. We live in a hands-off society that has well-learned that attempting to be kind or helpful may mean receiving unexpected anger in reply.
Women wanted to compete in a “man’s world.” Now they can and do. Only problem is, now they don’t like the consequences.
You simply can’t have it both ways, though.
Well Said!
Well said…another case in point; in our neighborhood it seemed the Mom’s also took out the trash (take a look around next trash day)…my mom included (seemed she was the only one to remember what day was trash pickup). Of course, that lasted until Dad gave us three boys the edict (and proverbial kick in the pants) that this was unaccpetable and it was our chore to do. As for snow shoveling, I preferred being outside more than in so I did the shoveling. My brothers would help whenever a big storm hit. One time after a two-footer, we all were out there working away (the three brothers, that is), dad was watching. One of the neighbor dads came over and commented that “it must be nice to have three boys so willing to help.” My father’s comment was classic “stuff a dad would say”: Well, that’s why you have them. Unfortunately they’re only good use for a little while.” His point being humorous, but so true. As for todays’ boys and young males who see a woman struggling yet do not take the initiative to help out…that [mostly] stems from being completely unaware they are supposed to help…having no sense of it because they were not taught they should. My father taught his sons otherwise…by example as well as by lesson. Boys Scouts reinforced those values as well.
Those women are wimps :-) My mom never had any problem motivating me, whether dad was around or not. I had not trouble learning “momma ain’t happy, ain’t no body happy!” at a very young age.
…if I may add another thought: Another aspect of this “trend of young males (and some older ones) not being chivalrous” stems from today’s young woman not being the “gatekeepers”, not demanding more from the men in their life as historically they have. The lack of the gatekeeper mode (or role) has created a lackluster mentality in our young (and again, some of our older) males. God defined men and woman (boys and girls) differently on purpose…to help keep balance. When we mess with those roles (stereotypically speaking for arguments sake), the lines get blurred and protocol dissappears. Woman are the the gatekeepers…which I believe they do not know or have forgotten it is their role to keep us “guys” in check.
Your right, is not only the teenagers. I have a neighbor who sends out his wife and her daughter to shovel the drive and walks. He goes out when his son visits and lets his son remain indoors while he “shovels” with his wife and daughter. As soon as the son is gone it becomes women’s work again.
@ Paul #25, who wrote about women demanding more from men.
Honestly, I don’t think more has been asked of men historically than what is being asked today. In fact, I think a lot of men are in complete disarray as to how to manage life because too much is being asked. It used to be that men could avoid those parts of life that were deemed “women’s work,” but that is no longer the case. Plus, the technological age we live in asks even more of men, who are now tasked with being experts in more fields than their fathers ever were.
In addition, American men have never worked more job hours or faced more lengthy commutes. This only adds to their stress and the list of objectives they must cram into less and less time.
I think the biggest reason why so many men are checking out is that they’ve reach a limit of expectations: too many and too contradictory.
I believe that the reason so many men “check out” is directly related to Adam’s original sin. Adam stood passively beside Eve as she was tempted; and he did nothing to stop her. Men and boys today are really no different than any other time in history other than perhaps that now greater numbers are choosing NOT to reject that same temptation of passivity. Pair that with having no exposure and Hope in the Gospel of Christ’s (The 2nd Adam) salvation from sin; and we get lazy boys (some of them 40 years and older) who find no wrong in doing what feels good. Boys of all ages need to hear the Gospel and to see it as the only means of becoming a Real Man like Jesus.
Enjoyed your post. My 25-year old son actually sent it to me. I grew up in the Midwest. We would be out scooping snow by 6 AM before school when I was a kid. After we did my dad’s businesses and my grandparents’ home, we would shovel driveways for sometimes a dozen other neighbors…as much as we could and still get to school on time. I think one big difference was that I grew up in a very small town of 1,000. Everyone took care of each other, some in part because you might need some help yourself someday, but more because there was just genuine regard for one another. It doesn’t help in southern California where I live now that most everyone has a gardener do the outside work. Too much of that going on with young kids- same with washing up cars. I know that it takes time, but parents should be doing these things right alongside their kids…
“I am seeking to teach him that he is to use his strength, his ability to serve others and especially to serve those who are weaker or less able than he is. ”
Tim, that quote is gold.
That real-life lesson should be taught to our children and then tied to the Gospel.
Paul, from Romans 5: “For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly…. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Gospel-Centered Snow Shoveling !
“Women wanted to compete in a “man’s world.” Now they can and do. Only problem is, now they don’t like the consequences.”
As a woman, let me say that I love the consequences. I am now the one who does all the handyman work. I thrive off it. I can decide which jobs around the house are worth doing and which are not. I can hire someone if I need brawn. And I find men just about the same as they always were. Some men are fantastic, really great to have around and some just prevent anything useful from ever happening.
@ Beau #28 re: passivity,
It’s not truly an issue of passivity. As I noted in #27, many men are struggling with an overload. There is too much to do. After awhile, that leads to burnout, which as people start to withdraw gets diagnosed as passivity , though it truly isn’t.
The contemporary Church has been largely unable to address this issue, yet it is an enormous one in most households. Many people, both men and women, are overwhelmed with all they have to do daily. Most of our modern conveniences only create their own problems, which negate the original convenience. Ask me how I spent the last 90 minutes attempting to prove my identity to a company online—to no avail. After awhile, that disaffectation manifests.
How do we Christians speak to that reality? And how do we restore men who have been burned by reaching out to help only to be shouted down by the PC crowd who believe women can fend for themselves? What do we say to the guy who tried to help but ended up being sued for his efforts?
The issue is far more deep than telling guys to “man up.” Sure, that may work for some, but it is far from the cure all in all cases.
Great post. And I agree with Kim and Heather wholeheartedly. At the end of the day, all of us who are parents are responsible for raising men and women with wisdom, character, integrity, selflessness, etc. I want my son to grow up and be willing to serve others just because it’s the right thing to do. Serving others and putting others before yourself is part of the message of the gospel. Of course kids should work in the house because it teaches them how to work and how to serve… and it builds character. It’s ignorant to infer that asking kids to work around the house is similar to slave labor.
Instead, it seems that we are the permissive generation. We refuse to hold people accountable because that wouldn’t be nice. Instead, we give handouts and bailouts so that more and more people hold out their hands asking for what is fair and equitable. A friend of mine has a 24 year old son who would rather not eat and complain about the gall of his parents than actually search for a job. It’s a sad, sad thing.
Son Followers Blog
Just to add a totally other thought to the discussion - I shovel the snow around here most days when my older kids are at school and the younger kids are napping. It has nothing to do with not expecting enough from our older kids (who have chores and help with shovelling if they are home) or my husband (who works outside the home from 7:30-6 daily, and is also an elder in our church and a great husband and father when he is home - in short a busy man who I love to see with his feet up the odd time he can). It has everything to do with the fact that I happen to be at home because I am a stay at home mom right now. That’s also largely why I am the one who vacuums, does the laundry and cooks. Makes common sense to me, and has nothing to do with the men around me failing to be servant-leaders in our home/community. I wonder how often a similar case is true for the women we see outside shovelling?ps. great blog Tim - I remember you from the old Guido days :)
Just to add a totally other thought to the discussion - I shovel the snow around here most days when my older kids are at school and the younger kids are napping. It has nothing to do with not expecting enough from our older kids (who have chores and help with shovelling if they are home) or my husband (who works outside the home from 7:30-6 daily, and is also an elder in our church and a great husband and father when he is home - in short a busy man who I love to see with his feet up the odd time he can). It has everything to do with the fact that I happen to be at home because I am a stay at home mom right now. That’s also largely why I am the one who vacuums, does the laundry and cooks. Makes common sense to me, and has nothing to do with the men around me failing to be servant-leaders in our home/community. I wonder how often a similar case is true for the women we see outside shovelling?ps. great blog Tim - I remember you from the old Guido days :)
Jesus is the cure-all for all cases! I’ve spent 40 years wandering the wilderness of doing all things MY way. By His Grace alone, I am renewed…and am for the first time in my life…alive. Truly and eternally alive in and because of Christ. In gracious appreciation for such a gift, ALL that we do (even shoveling snow) should be for him; bringing Glory and honor to HIM and HIS way. Everything else is useless rubbish.
I was unclear in my point…I was speaking in context to men being more chivalrous , being more gentlemanly and respectful in their treatment of woman; more of a shift in approach and attitude than heaping additional demand on men in our already hectic society. Not male-bashing here…just suggesting men be warriors when it comes to treatment of woman. (the best of that sentiment) Try opening a door at random for a gal…see what that brings. As Tim so rightly points out it is one aspect in our everyday life of being a Godly servant.
The subject of your article caught my eye because I am a mom who LOVES to shovel snow! That being said,, our children have been raised to work hard and to use their strengths to serve others. I have a son who since about the age of 8 or 9 would wake up early after a snow storm to try to beat me to the shoveling. He would get up while it was still dark and work to have the walks and driveway shoveled before anyone else was awake. Our family would all work together on our elderly neighbors’ driveway too. When my son was in his teen years and was able to use a snow blower he would head straight to our neighbors first and then come back to do ours. Then in the summers he would mow the lawn, without ever being asked and later he began to do the same for our neighbors. He is now away at college, but never fails to jump right in and do these things whenever he is home. But still, I really do enjoy shoveling the snow. It’s invigorating and it’s great exercise. So, I guess I have three points. First, I really enjoyed your blog and was thankful you brought attention to this important facet of serving. The training of a servant’s heart begins at an early, early age and is heavily influenced by children seeing their parents serve others WITH HAPPY HEARTS. Even toddlers can help bake cookies to bring to neighbors or can help plant a row of colorful flowers for house-bound friends. Second, I want to point out that not all teenagers are lazy and have to be forced to serve in these ways. (By God’s grace… I am not taking credit !) And third, sometimes moms are out there shoveling because they really, really want to be. I know it sounds strange, but it’s possible, and I can personally attest to that.
I agree with you whole-heartedly! Unfortunately, this has become all too common in our culture. This is also something not isolated to just single parent families either. I live in a subdivision where most families have both father-mother and husband-wife and it is still entirely too common to see the women mowing lawns, shoveling driveways, and coming home with cars full of groceries and unloading them by themselves. So what are the men doing? They are too often glued to their couches watching television or for the younger generation glued in front of their gaming consoles indulging in an adolescent activity that they never grew out of. It’s a real shame.
Good for you at least trying to make those boys help their mom! Nick will get there because he really is so kind…i was a lot like that myself!
Interesting observation. Yesterday, I saw mainly adults clearing driveways (many with snowblowers) and only one family out shoveling together. And all schools (as well as most businesses) were closed, so kids were definitely at home. If that happens when there’s a foot of snow, there’s a problem!
So true!! We are reaping what we have sown.
I like CBMW’s take on this problem.
So, how can you appreciate manhood and womanhood around the holidays? Try these suggestions to get started:
“Men
On Christmas Day, turn down the volume on the game long enough to listen to the sound of women talking together in the kitchen. Note how the sound is different than the conversation of grunts, nods, and cheers between you and your buddies during the game.
Women
While bustling and clucking with your girlfriends, slow the conversation long enough to peek out of the kitchen and observe the glazed men watching football. Consider what it would be like to express fewer than ten words in an hour with your friends.”
This is from Dec. 24, 2007. I understand these recomendations from CBMW to mean that men sitting on the couch is part of the glorious difference between men and women.
The title of this piece is “Mom ALWAYS Shovels the Drive” and it includes assumptions such as “every house has a 13 yr. old”, etc. These are absolutes by assumption and paint a picture of victimized women and slothful kids that it takes the body of blog respondents to correct. DLE makes some strong points regarding men being overburdened, and others point the value of doing it either for exercise or gratification. However, if Mr. Challies is writing this from a Biblical perspective there are some things to consider regarding his observation about women, and I include this not to come across as sexist or misogynistic, but because it bears consideration and I think Christians avoid these Biblical passages to our own suffering. Regarding women the bible says in Ecclesiastes:
I find more bitter than death the woman who is a snare,whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains.The man who pleases God will escape her, but the sinner she will ensnare. (Eccl 7:26)
This would include escape from marriage by a man who married a woman who was deceitful, which is why when we Christians talk about divorce they need to consider sometimes God is behind the divorce (He divorced His bride Israel once), not a failure by the couple. The failure happened as they went to the altar. But more importantly, does this passage characterize women as the victims?
Or what about the passages in Proverbs that warn men from straying to the adulteress woman - where are the warnings for women to avoid adulterous men? Not to be found. Again, this is not to create woman-hatred, but to challenge Christians to consider these passages and for good reason. The Author from Heaven didn’t just haphazardly put them in there and cause them to exist til now. They are there to help us have understanding and discernment about women and what they truly are or can be as fallen creatures.
Perhaps that’s why Paul wrote:
I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, 10but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. (2 Timothy 2:9&10)
Apparently women had to be told to do these things - they didn’t do them out of naturalness or holiness. It’s part of sinfulness and needs to be looked at and understood that way.
The modern church likes to deconstruct that passage and say it was a cultural statement, yet Paul clearly qualifies it from the beginning with Adam and Eve. Therefor the cultural exception that is so popular with contemporary Christians allows women to disobey God’s Word through more deception.
Here’s how you’ll know I’m not a woman hating fundamentalist/extremist. I was raised, along with my brother, by our single-mother, and I love her dearly. I was also that rebellious and lazy boy for lack of a father. My father is truly a deadbeat dad. I also am happily married (as is my wife) and don’t hold her down or back at all. My wife loves her make-up and jewels and I don’t discourage there use unless it’s out of control. To wit, when she was taking more than an hour to get ready and it was causing us to be late to church I set her straight. However, she is standing next to me right now with more makeup on than Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie, but it’s because we’re going to the DMV for a license picture - so who cares? However the Lord wants women to have a sober consideration of these things and what they do outwardly as well as inwardly.
Those these passages challenge us in ways we like even less than many of the other passages in scripture that upset our flesh, we simply obey the truths set forth in Scripture and are the wiser for it.
Christians, these are not easy passages to unpack, nor are they comforting with the self-help world that assaults us daily as a Church. The truth is though this is a great website and Mr. Challies offers all kinds of helpful assistance in our walk, the writing of this piece portrayed women in a light that scripture does not. Does that mean we are to look down on them or love them any less? Hell no. It means don’t be deceived by platitudes about women as the weaker vessel and apply it broadly in all cases. In some cases it doesn’t apply, at all. Some women deserve the lot they have and we can’t make judgments based on driving through our neighborhood as they shovel their driveways. Nor can we assume their kids or missing spouses are deadbeats, but the Lord knows.
Finally, brothers and sisters, wrestle with why the Lord said this:
27 “Look,” says the Teacher,[a] “this is what I have discovered:
“Adding one thing to another to discover the scheme of things— 28 while I was still searching but not finding—I found one upright man among a thousand, but not one upright woman among them all.29 This only have I found: God created mankind upright, but they (women too) have gone in search of many schemes.” (Eccl 7:26-30)
This is from one of the Lord’s books of wisdom. Perhaps we should consider it as such. And if Scripture doesn’t suffice, then listen to the top song in America right now- Grenade byBruno Mars.
As a mom of 4 boys I heartily agree! Two of my boys are teens right now… I say it again, I heartily agree!
Dads need to be there, I can’t imagine teaching my sons to be men without their dad to teach them to respect me. Moms need to teach their sons as well. That mom should have been insisting that her sons carry in the groceries. But I do know how mentally tiring teen boys can be as well. So moms need the dads to back them up. Teach them well dads!