- RSS FeedSubscribe
- « Previous PostA La Carte (7/17)
- Next Post »Book Review Updates
Review - When Sinners Say "I Do"
- 07/17/07
- 19
A person does not have to be married for long to realize that marriage is a lot more difficult than it may seem. Certainly it is a lot more difficult than God intended for it to be. With the fall into sin came the rise of the self, with the loss of perfection came the dominance of sin. Even the best marriages are now tainted by sin, by selfishness, by a distinct lack of love. Every marriage represents the joining of two sinners. Though they love each other, they fight constantly to love each other as much as they know they should.
While the shelves at bookstores, both Christian and mainstream, are groaning under the weight of books dealing with marriage, few of these books offer assistance with the root of all of the problems we encounter in our relationships. Few of them get to the heart of the matter, looking deep into the human heart and prescribing the biblical cure. Into this void steps Dave Harvey with his book When Sinners Say “I Do,”, a book that is justly garnering much positive attention. C.J. Mahaney says it “provides clarity in conflict, hope in despair, and points the way to a joy-filled, God glorifying marriage.” Jerry Bridges says it “will be helpful for any married couple whether they’ve been married five weeks or fifty years.” And Randy Alcorn calls it “a wonderful book” that is “honest, refreshing, practical, and above all biblical.” What has inspired these glowing endorsements is the book’s focus on the harsh reality of sin and the beautiful reality of grace.
When Sinners Say “I Do” is a book that focuses a lot of attention on sin. In fact, the first half of the book focuses predominantly on this topic. This may seem unnecessary to some and even depressing to others, but to ignore sin is to ignore one of the greatest human realities. “My friends,” writes Harvey, “when sin becomes bitter, marriage becomes sweet.” And so he writes about sin and grace in order to promote enjoyable, God-glorifying marriages. This is not a how-to book or a step-by-step to a happy marriage. It does not offer ancient secrets or knowledge that has until now been hidden. Rather, it simply offers the Bible’s realistic take on the reality of human sin and the power of the gospel to build and sustain healthy, happy, marriages that honor and glorify God.
I can’t say it better than Paul David Tripp. In the book’s foreword he writes, “This book grasps at the core drama of every married couple. This drama is no respecter of race, ethnic origin, location, or period of history. It is the one thing that explains the doom and hope of every human relationship. It is the theme that is on every page of this book in some way. What is this drama? It is the drama of sin and grace.” Harvey deals frankly, honestly and unrelentingly with sin and on the basis of that foundation allows grace to shine in all its beauty. Though every marriage for all time will be the union of two sinners, God is good to grant grace that we can have relationships that are strong, vibrant and that bring glory to God.
Piercing in its description of sin and unrelenting in pursuing sin to the deepest recesses of our hearts (and thus, of our relationships), When Sinners Say “I Do” is a most welcome contribution in a busy marketplace. I would unhesitatingly recommend this book to any couple and, indeed, to any single person as well. It is one of the best books on marriage and relationships that I have had the privilege of reading. We all need to see our sinner as bitter so that grace can be sweet. This book’s biblical focus will bring both sin and the Savior into clear focus, helping us to build strong relationships centered upon Christ for His glory.
I am a follower of Jesus Christ, a husband to Aileen and a father to three young children. I worship and serve as a pastor at 
Releasing on April 1, The Next
Published in 2008, this book
This is a guide that calls men,
This review of the bestselling
New to the site? You can get
This is a guide written
Comments (19)
Thanks for reviewing this book! I would otherwise not have been aware of it. I see that Carolyn McCulley has also written a favorable review of it on Amazon.com. The book is now on my Amazon.com wish list.
Dave Harvey is one of my favorite speakers. He was saved in the small town of Indiana, PA, where I grew up, and while I never knew him while he was there, he would come to our church to preach on a regular basis (he was the main overseer of our church as well). He’s as solid as they come, and I am grateful that he supports the Sovereign Grace leadership team in the ways he does.
Plus, I love listening for the traits of his Pittsburgh accent while he preaches. While he’s in Philly, now, he grew up in the ‘Burgh, and although most of his accent is gone, you can still hear it under the surface. This makes me feel like I’m back home when I hear him speak.
I plan on going through this book whenever I start seriously talking about getting married - it seems like a great book to go through with someone you are courting/engaged to once you realize that you are serious.
Thanks for the recommendation.
www.matthewsblog.waynesborochurchofchrist.org
Minich,
I read and reviewed the book as well with the sole intent of doing what you described. There is a young couple that I am great friends with that is in the process of courting and weeks away from engagement so I wanted them to read this and give me their thoughts…
So far, all has been very positive for them and eye opening for them. You’re thinking is very right…but also for a guy whose been married 9 years, it was extremely helpful for me as well…
Marc
I have just received this book in the mail yesterday from Westminster Online Book Store for free. Me and my wife will be going through it shortly.
Also, I have created a week ago a blog post on Dave Harvey, his book reviews and audio MP3 sermons.
http://psalm305.blogspot.com/2007/07/dave-harvey-mp3-sermons.html
I have just received this book in the mail yesterday from Westminster Online Book Store for free. Me and my wife will be going through it shortly.
Also, I have created a week ago a blog post on Dave Harvey, his book reviews and audio MP3 sermons.
http://psalm305.blogspot.com/2007/07/dave-harvey-mp3-sermons.html
I am sick of the current Evangelical obsession with finding the correct potion for creating a wildly happy marriage. I know many people who feel so discouraged because they’ve read the books that fail to live up to the promise to deliver the nuptual goodies. They blame themselves and give up, carrying heavy yokes of failure.
My wife and I have just begun to find enjoyment in marriage, and it began by facing and owning our own sin and then seeing and savouring Jesus Christ and His purpose for marriage, which is a display of the covenant-keeping love of Jesus for His Church.
I hope to read this book soon.
I had the privilege of meeting the folks of Shepherd’s Press (the publishers) this past week at the ICRS in Atlanta. They were a humble group dedicated to promoting the glory of Christ in all things - especially in the home. It was a delight to receive a copy of this book as well and this sinner who is married to a sinner will hopefully read it soon.
Don’t want to support Amazon? There are other bookshops trying to make a living.
Try ordering at:
http://www.shepherdpress.com/I_Do.html
Sovereign Grace Store: http://www.sovereigngracestore.com
Westminster Bookstore:http://www.westminsterbookstore.com
Evangelical Bible Bookstore:http://www.ebiblebookstore.com
Monergism Bookshttp://www.monergismbooks.com/
or your own favourite small town christian bookshop who are trying to make a living against Amazon….
Come on Tim - how about dropping your Amazon affiliation and adding support to independent Christian Booksellers. They need your support….. I know…. I have friends in the Christian Book selling business seeking to serve their communities with good books and who are just being swallowed up by the likes of Amazon or Koorong in Australia.
Idea: You do the review and we pay you to access your reviews. Then you can drop your Amazon affiliation. Seriously - please think long and hard on this issue.
“You do the review and we pay you to access your reviews. Then you can drop your Amazon affiliation. Seriously - please think long and hard on this issue.”
That’s a great idea and one I would gladly accept were it workable. But I’m convinced it would never return even the bit I make from Amazon referrals. Referring people to Amazon does not trouble my conscience and I can think of no reason not to do it. Yes, I’d like to support Christian retailers but I try to do this in other ways (linking to some of their products, promoting their sales, and so on).
Tim, I don’t know how you read these & post the review so fast! I just got my copy of the book on Tuesday of last week & am 2/3’ of the way through. What an excellent book! I’ve been sharing sections with my wife as I read through it & she is anxious to read it next. I have a list of people to send copies to next. This is clearly one of the best books on marriage I’ve read in the almost 23 years of mine.
So Tim - is this site truly a labour of love and service or do you see it as something that ‘yes I do it out of love - but hey ‘aren’t I entitled to some kind of financial or material reward (such as Amazon kickbacks) for my trouble’? Your conscience may not yet be pricked as to what you do when you link to Amazon. I pray that it would be as you are doing a disservice to those within Christian bookseller retailing. Please see this as a rebuke in love.
Why not test the water and have a link: “… if you see the value in the ministry of www.challis.com and would like to make a donation to help offset the time and cost involved in providing this service … blah blah blah … you can make a donation at……..” Test the waters for say 6 months and see what happens. “Is the labourer worthy of his hire? Don’t muzzle the ox that treads the grain…”
@Afrikainer
“…you are doing a disservice to those within Christian bookseller retailing.”
Tim will probably need to take this off to a separate thread, but… is it not likely that there are Christians that also work for Amazon directly that benefit from their employer doing well also? And, when so many “brick & mortar” “christian” bookstores have sold out to “jesus junk” - the local one in my small town certainly has; it can hardly be considered a disservice to Christ to NOT shop there. I bought my copy of the book from WTS, & would just as likely have purchased from Monergism books as well, but only found it at the time from WTS… I will likely purchase multiple copies from Amazon now that they have it listed if only to save on shipping & benefit Challies.com. The end result will be that the book’s message will still get out & the author & publisher will make whatever residuals that they intend as well.
GlennAgreed: 1. Tim might like to revisit his idea of support for his site and therefore make a new blog entry on this topic.2. Yes there are junky bicks & mortar Christian bookshops who show no discernment. I too cringe when I see good books along side of junk and most people reach for the junk.3. Yes Christians would be amongst the employees of amazon. However that still doesn’t take away from the fact that there are some really top notch Christian Booksellers who do, do the right thing and concentrate on serving the church with good literature and they should be encouraged and supported by the Christian community (more particularly if they hold to sound doctrine). I’m sure Amazon makes enough money to keep all its employees paid. What irks me is that bookshops such as we have here in Australia eg the Reformers Bookshop http://www.reformers.com.au/ have to compete with a monolith like Amazon. I don’t live in north america - but sure would love to support a Christian running a small shop in my home town vs walmart.4. Sorry to Tim if I’ve taken this blogg off course….
Back to review: Tim you have wetted my appetite and will try to obtain a copy here in Australia (not supporting Amazon). And await a new link for direct support for your ministry to the world.
Glenn is correct, you guys are way off topic. Let’s stick to the topic of the post, please.
yes sir….. I agreed…..
I’ll try to take this up in a different topic at some point in the future.
Ignore me this time. I’m just testing something.
And again. Just keep ignoring me.