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Teach Me to Pray!
- 01/27/11
- 10
The Lord has been forcing me to learn about prayer. And it’s a good thing since I’m finding myself in one of those times in life when prayer is coming only with difficulty. It was a blessing to attend a local pastors’ fellowship on Monday where I enjoyed a panel discussion about prayer and the pastoral ministry. And it was a blessing to record an interview this morning with Dr. Joel Beeke, a man who is known not only for writing books on prayer, but for being a man who loves to pray and who prays powerfully. (listen to the interview)
When discussing prayer, I find that there is always a lot of value in the little nuggets, the little pieces of gold that are encountered in conversation. While listening to an hour-long panel discussion on prayer, each person in the audience picked up on a few little things that impacted him. And the same was true in my conversation with Dr. Beeke.
I want to share with you just a few of the things that have been resonating in my mind.
Pray in Jesus’ name. To pray in the name of Jesus is to pray with his authority in a way that claims his power. In prayer I should always be asking, “In whose interest am I praying? What is God’s agenda in this?” In other words, I need to make sure that I have a conscience sense of praying to the Lord, the King, the Sovereign One. I pray not only to this God, but I also pray in his power and with his authority. That merits a “wow!”
Use model prayers. One of the best ways to learn to pray is to use the New Testament prayers as a model. The Apostle Paul always brings home what he has been teaching through his prayers. So learn these prayers, learn how they relate to the letters, and learn to pray them first for yourself. Let Paul be your teacher.
Pray within your capacity to believe. One pastor said that we often pray beyond our capacity to believe. He used the example of praying for the salvation of his wife’s parents. He and his wife would pray that the Lord would save them, but they were praying without faith; though they knew God could, in theory, do this, they doubted that he actually would. What they decided to do was to pray within their capacity to believe, and so they began to pray smaller, incremental prayers for things they truly could ask in faith. In a similar situation you might pray that the Lord would bring your parents just one Christian friend, or that they would hear the gospel just one time, and so on. And once that prayer is answered, you can then pray for the next, slightly bigger thing. All the while you are ratcheting up your prayers while acknowledging God’s incremental answers to them.
Do not stop praying until you get through to God. This pastor said that you need to labor in prayer until you feel that you have gotten through to God. He particularly warned against stepping into the pulpit and preaching before first gaining a sense of the Spirit’s presence and power. If the preacher cannot go into the pulpit in the power of the Spirit, how can he expect the Spirit to then speak to the people?
Prayer is better caught than taught. Do you want to know how to pray? Then spend time with people who pray and pray with them. Do you want your children to learn to pray? Then pray with them and let them catch the ability to pray. There are few shortcuts here.
Prayer changes us, not God. The purpose of prayer is not to change God, but to change us, to realign ourselves according to his purposes. Prayer is not an attempt to twist the arm of God or to bend him to our will. Instead, it is God’s means of changing and transforming us, driving us to joyfully submit to his will.
Pray warmly. Dr. Beeke asked what right anyone has to feel that he should be able to pray warmly out of the cold blue. If we want to enjoy warm fellowship in prayer, we should first be willing to spend time with the Lord in the Word and in meditation. This warms the heart and draws us to the Lord, igniting our prayer.
If you would like to hear the wisdom of these men, you don’t have long to wait. Audio from Toronto Pastors’ Fellowship will be available soon. My interview with Dr. Joel Beeke will be available here at the blog next Tuesday (Lord willing).

I am a follower of Jesus Christ, a husband to Aileen and a father to three young children. I worship and serve as a pastor at
Releasing on April 1, The Next
Comments (10)
Prayer has always been a difficult practice for me. The model of prayer I saw around me always seemed off somehow, and certainly didn’t fit my relationship with God or my understanding of him.What has kept my prayer-life afloat is using the prayers modeled in the New Testament, the Psalms, and the Book of Common Prayer.
Great post Tim! John Piper is leading the Desiring God pastor’s conference on the power of praying pastors next week. In preparation, he read and recommended two books: ‘The Secret Key To Heaven’ by Thomas Brooks and ‘The Hidden Life of Prayer’ by David McIntyre. I’ve been reading them both this last week and consider them two of the best books on the subject.
Carrying the authority of a name led us to something we discussed with our children just yesterday. We were teaching them that when we ask them to communicate something with a sibling for us, they need to use the words “Mommy said” or “Daddy said.” Only then do they carry authority in their communication. It is essential to communicate these little words. The inclusion of those two words let the recipient of the message know that obedience is at stake. The message is not just from a sibling, but is a communication that must be heeded. There is a lot of power in a name.
Mostly great comments, and I don’t want to be a downer, but… let me nitpick on a few points.
Disclaimer: I am completely open to correction. If I am missing something here, please let me know - and be kind doing so. :)
“This pastor said that you need to labor in prayer until you feel that you have gotten through to God.”
I’m not sure what this means. Faith in prayer means knowing God hears all our prayers. Even if I *feel* like my prayers are bouncing off the roof, I know and trust and have faith in the fact that God does hear my prayers. Laboring in prayer has other merit, but we don’t have to labor in prayer in order to get through to God. He who hears even our hidden groans does not need us to repeatedly shout.
From the same section“He particularly warned against stepping into the pulpit and preaching before first gaining a sense of the Spirit’s presence and power.”
I understand what he is saying but I have a similar issue to what I said above. I am not aware of Bible passages that tell us we need to feel a sense of the Spirit’s presence and power. Pray, yes - absolutely! Pray for God’s guidance. Pray for the Spirit’s leading. But a sense of the Spirit or no, trust that God will in fact lead and guide. It is certainly fair to say, “do not step into the pulpit unless you have first spent time in prayer, asking God to lead you by his Spirit” but it is another thing to say, “do not step into the pulpit unless you have a certain feeling or sense”.
“The purpose of prayer is not to change God, but to change us…”Yes and no… Personal transformation can and does happen through prayer, and prayer is not a means of bending the will of God in a new direction, but prayer is nonetheless a means God has established for us to seek the execution of his will. I believe salvation is every bit God’s work, but I also believe God has chosen to work through human agents in spreading the gospel. As relates to prayer, I believe every one of God’s actions are according to his will and plan - he does not change his mind based on our prayers - but I believe prayer is a means God has established to work through us to call for the doing of his will.
To use an example given elsewhere on this page, if someone prays for his lost parents, he is hoping and trusting by faith that God will actually do something as a result of the prayer. God will not save anyone just because I prayed for them, he will save them if it is his sovereign plan to do so. Nonetheless, he has given prayer as a means for us to participate in the work of salvation, just as evangelism is a means for us to participate in the work of salvation (I do not mean that in a synergistic way). So our prayers may actually move God to do something but not just because we prayed but because it was in the plan of God to use that prayer to bring about the execution of his will.
All that to say, yes, God uses prayer to change things about me, but God also uses prayer as a means of accomplishing his greater will in the world.
Tim, on “praying within our capacity to believe”—just a quick thought, but I would have to nuance (?) this with the truth that when we pray, we’re simply making requests. I don’t see how praying for anyone’s salvation can be called “praying without faith;” they don’t need to know (and can’t know) whether or not God will save the in-laws, only that he’s very able to. If they mean that they find it hard to believe that God is able to save the in-laws, there’s a prayer for that… “help my unbelief.” In praying for unbelievers to be saved, we can ask God to give us a true caring for their salvation, and to help us believe that he is able to save them.
I appreciate the post and the comments. But Tim, I think you meant “conscious” and not “conscience” under the first point.
Solid and Biblically sound. People are so discouraged in their prayer lives and few see answers. It’s sticking to basic Biblical truth about who God is and who man is that keeps us both spiritual and normal. I’ll pass this on.
Great blog. Glad I found it.
Ronda RayAuthor of Prayer Revolution, How God Refined My Connection With Heaven. http://www.onereformationinternational.com
In “Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference?” Philip Yancey confessed that, “most of his struggles with the Christian life come down to two themes: Why God doesn’t act the way I want Him to, and Why I don’t act the way God wants me to.”
On unanswered prayer (why God doesn’t act the way I want Him to): “I readily confess” wrote Yancey, “that I tend to view prayer through a skeptic’s lens, obsessing more about unanswered prayers than rejoicing over answered ones.”
Lloyd-Jones acknowledged that, “Of all the activities in which the Christian engages, and which are part of the Christian life, there is surely none which causes so much perplexity, and raises so many problems, as the activity which we call prayer.”
I like Yancey’s conclusion, “Prayer has become for me much more than a shopping list of requests to present to God. It has become a realignment of everything. I pray to restore the truth of the universe, to gain a glimpse of the world, and of me, through the eyes of God.”
“In prayer, I shift my point of view away from my own selfishness. I climb above timberline and look down at the speck that is myself. I gaze at the stars and recall what role I, or any of us, play in a universe beyond comprehension. Prayer is the act of seeing reality from God’s point of view.”
I couldn’t agree more! While some puritan-loving reformeds may applaud church ladies who assault prayer-book imposing papists, I think the resistance may have been a tad premature. The Book of Common Prayer singlehandedly fulfills all the objectives of this article. I have prayed more and read more scripture in the two years since discovering that wonderful book than I had the previous 25 years of my life combined.Calvinists, do not let the fact that the book comes from the Anglican Communion drive you away from it. Read it for yourselves! And remember, it was used devoutly by men such as Isaac Watts, John Newton, C. S. Lewis…Says one Baptist preacher who discovered the BCP: “There is more gospel here on one page than in a month of my sermons!”
Hello Tim, my first time ever posting on a blog but this stirred me up. I have a huge problem with the “Pray within your capacity to believe”. Perhaps I am taking things out of context but if you do not have enough faith in God then you had better deal with your lack of faith before you start praying for others. God will answer the prayers to His plans. If you only have enough faith to pray for “little things” then how are you going to do on the day of Judgement!
I feel that a better response would be to pray for the big things and let God take care of how He makes His miracles come about.