Tim,

The prayer is a beautiful one and expresses some longings which are true and right.

But it contains within it the very seeds of a lack of joy (and other fruits of the Spirit). Here’s the bad section:

“Help me to be less pleased with my spiritual experiences, and when I feel at ease after sweet communings, teach me it is far too little I know and do.”

If “sweet communings” — which by definition are “sweet”, and involve the very fellowship with Christ Himself — are waved aside and denigrated before the “really important” things of knowing more and particularly DOING more, then an evil has been perpetrated. The evil of Performance-based Christianity.

The Puritans (bless their hearts) have infected much of the modern Reformed Church with this melancholic self-abasement, and is why I no longer recommend the Puritans for any but the most discerning Grace-oriented reader.

They simply don’t get the ESSENCE of the New Covenant, to whit:

1. All of our sins are forgiven, past present and future, so there is no longer any condemnation (or cause for melancholy) to the one in Christ Jesus.2. That we really are righteous (in right standing with God, as though we had never sinned nor been a sinner at heart). Why? Because God declared it so, and gave us the gift of His righteousness.3. We have been given a new nature, indeed “perfected” in our new nature as a new creation. We now love Jesus and hate sin in our very heart of hearts, even though we still contend with the flesh (and the world and the devil).4. We are in permanent union with Christ. We have been made “one spirit with Him”. He indwells us, indeed is our very Life.

I’m not advocating Schulleristic “possibilty” self-esteem. Merely biblical anthropology (Doctrine of Man) that focuses on what Christ has done for us, and to us, and in us. And why that mitigates against melancholy and self-abasement.

We should long for Him. But with the understanding that we HAVE Him. As our Forgiver, our Friend, the Lover of our souls, the One Who longs to fellowship with us, and wants us to understand that this fellowship with Him is the HIGHEST pinnacle of our life, not taking a back seat to our performance (which, while imperfect, will always be better if we walk in fellowship, “sweet communings”, with Him).

When our gaze is on the navel of our own performance (which, guaranteed, will always fall short), we can’t help but lack joy (and love, peace, patience, kindness, etc.).

But when we shift that gaze to Him and revel in the “sweet communings” of a beloved sheep in the arms of the beloved Shepherd — without apology — we can’t help but have joy, etc.