Seriously? I wish this was a joke. I was SO disappointed to find this on your website. So many Christians are obsessed with getting married. Marriage is not the chief end of man, yet the world would never know it by the way that many of us chase after it like it will solve all of our emotional/physical/mental desires or perceived needs. I think that it’s a bad testimony.

What happened to our belief in a sovereign God? He brought people together that he wanted to marry long before the Internet existed. It seems that “Marry Well” is capitalising on today’s Internet dependant/addicted youth who do not have the internal fortitude to interface with actual people, face to face. This website, and others like it, enable dysfunctionality in relationships.

Not sure why it says my name is Jane above when, for the record, my name is Jeremy and I am a bloke!!

Jane, sixty or seventy years ago when marriage was a given, when people married younger, after shorter courtships, and stayed married longer than most do today, would you look at them and call them “obsessed” with marriage? The sense of frustration, even desperation, that you’re seeing in folks today is because they have no clear path to make their (normal, ordinary, even godly) desire for marriage HAPPEN.

When I was in seminary, I can’t tell you how many times I heard godly men complain that they wanted a partner in ministry, a helpmate. When I would ask, “Well, if you want to get married, when was the last time you asked a girl on a date?” they’d say just what you said, that they believed in a sovereign God and were just “trusting” him to bring along the “right woman.” My female friends and I often wondered if these guys were waiting for a tearful, repentant, newly-saved Scarlett Johansson to just ring their doorbell one morning.

I had bad news for them, and this may sound like bad news to you, but God always uses MEANS to accomplish his sovereign purposes. Just as no one gets saved without hearing the Gospel, people don’t get married without some intermediate steps — like an *introduction* and some *dates*. That’s all “Marry Well” is — an introduction. Since the Church has, in many places, either abdicated its role as a shepherd for the lives of its young people or forgotten how to encourage godly people toward a godly end, sites like Marry Well (and even eHarmony and other secular sites) are stepping up to help people like me who have always wanted to get married actually accomplish that goal.

Let me ask you a question. Do you think marriage is bad? I’m sure you don’t. Do you think it’s wrong to desire marriage? It sure sounds like it from your post. What would you say to a woman like me who, at twenty-eight, has no prospects for marriage despite being surrounded by eligible men?

If, in fact, marriage is, in the words of the liturgy, “a noble estate, instituted by God in the time of man’s innocence,” why should Christians not seek it? If, as we know, the vast majority of Christians will ultimately marry, why would we not applaud and encourage the use of any tool that would assist in helping Christians reach that goal in a godly way, guided by wise and experienced advisors?

This reply is rapidly turning into a book, so I’ll close with this. I agree that a fixation on marriage is unhealthy, and that my own thoughts and actions in the last, oh, ten years or so have hardly been above reproach in this area. I further agree that the notion that marriage will satisfy all of our emotional, physical, and spiritual needs is pernicious and inevitably leads to bitterness and disillusionment. But I must strongly disagree with you when you suggest that the solution is the kind of “trust” in God that precludes or even forbids action! I think the solution is rather more action, and particularly action that’s guided and encouraged by the body of Christ, and carefully shepherded in community.

Laura, #7, well said. I completely agree!

Nathan-

How many singles out there are genuinely, by the grace and gifting of God, not a “want-to-be married” single person? It’s seems logical to assume that if you are a ministry to people who are currently single, you are a ministry who is reaching out to the very large majority of currently single people who don’t want to be that way forever. There is nothing shady or false about the ministry goals they claim.

And they promoted the Marry Well thing on boundless recently, and claimed credit for it. You sound like you think they were trying to hide the connection…..

I have two friends whom I would like to recommend to a service like this. Unfortunately, both are divorced, disabled, and on limited incomes. I have known both for years, so I know many of their good points and bad. I could be a reference for both. But I do not want to get their hopes up if their memberships will be declined because of their divorces, disabilities, or low incomes.

Secondly, having browsed dating sites, and despite one of the commenters said on here, I see aspects of MarryWell’s site that lead me to believe it will have some of the “bad faith” aspects of other dating sites. Oh, so you can register without paying? I see. That will probably inflate the “official” number of members. After you pay, though, you may find that the percentage of paying, “full” members with whom you can communicate for dating purposes is much lower than the “official” number.

What is the member fee? I can’t find it, other than the suggested gift certificate: $89.99. Is that for a year? a month? Is that the introductory price? Will prices go up? What?

Good Times Had By All,

Motte corrected your factual errors, but I’d also like to extend a gentle word of caution that, when dealing with brothers and sisters in Christ, you not be so quick to assign blame or to insinuate shady motives. Ableism and discrimination are pretty serious accusations, ones we should be loath to make against Christians.