Skip to content ↓

On Being Thought Well of By Outsiders

One of my ongoing studies is of the qualifications of an elder. My church has called me to be an elder (or pastor, if you prefer) and the Bible makes it very clear what a man must be if he is to hold this office. Most broadly, he must be above reproach—he must live in such a way that no one can cast doubt on his sincerity as a Christian, so that no one can charge that he makes a mockery of Jesus Christ. This one qualification is further described by many more: sober-minded, mature, hospitable, humble, and so on.

There is one qualification I may think about more than any other and it’s this one: He must be thought well of by outsiders. An elder must have the respect not only of believers but also of unbelievers. And here is how this one challenges me: To be respected he must be known. The qualification is not, “If he spends time with unbelievers, they must respect him.” No, it assumes he will be living at least some of his life in view of unbelievers and that, as he does so, he will make a positive impression on them.

My struggle here is that I work alone from my home and, when I emerge, generally do so to spend time with my church. I have to be very deliberate to create opportunities to know and be known. But even when I was on full-time staff as an associate pastor the situation wasn’t a whole lot better: I worked at the church among Christians and did not consistently find myself in settings with unbelievers. This is not at all uncommon for pastors. They often spend relatively little time with unbelievers, and especially in settings where they can deeply engage with them.

So, am I thought well of by outsiders? I don’t think they think poorly of me. What concerns me, though, is that I’m not convinced they think of me at all. And I think many pastors find themselves in that very same situation.


  • The Small Home Life

    You May Not Need Nearly as Much House as You Think You Do

    Our house is emptier than it has ever been, and that makes it feel bigger than it has ever been. It’s funny how the home that often felt just a little too small for the five of us now feels just a little too big for the two of us. Even a little house can…

  • A La Carte (May 25)

    Clearer thinking about sterilization / You did it again / The trouble underneath / Why don’t our sermons change people? / The whining Christian / Kindle deals / and more.

  • Works and Wonders

    Works & Wonders (May 24)

    Interesting and uplifting content for Sunday: Proclamation rather than proof, Fill This House, On Rainbow Wings, strange sea creatures, a faith crisis, and more.

  • weekend 3

    Weekend A La Carte (May 23)

    Work will always matter / The rise of techno-feudalism / The gospel according to Karl Marx / The challenge of Eastern Orthodoxy / My manifesto on AI and religion / Steve McQueen, born again, set free / Cornfield baptism / 5 things most people don’t know about writing books

  • Authority

    How Men Can Use Their Authority Well

    There are few topics that have proven trickier to navigate than the topic of authority. We know we need authority to function as families, churches, and nations, yet there is something deep within our sinful humanity that causes us to rebel against it wherever it exists. We both want it and despise it. 

  • fri 3

    A La Carte (May 22)

    The ancient world had no word for child abuse / What I wish I had learned in theological college / Pray to the Lord of the harvest / What God is healing while not healing my health problems / Are you willing to show up? / Artificial preaching / Sales and deals / and more.