I can’t even tell you how brave she has been, how resilient, and how determined. The Lord alone knows all the ways she has had to exercise her faith and submit her will to his. But she has. She has, and it has been a blessing and an honor to behold.
We come again to Mother’s Day, the twenty-fifth since Nick was born and she became a mother, the fifth since Nick was taken and she was bereaved. Mother’s Day changed in that moment. It is still a day of joy, of course, but that joy is now mixed with sorrow. It is a day of gratitude for the blessing of being a mother not just once but three times over, but it is also a day of lament that one has been called away. Now only two can be there to hand her a card, to give her a hug, and to wish her a happy day. One is always conspicuous by his absence. But she doesn’t allow herself to sink into her grief and become incapacitated by it. She has just one life to live and only the present moment to live it. She has determined she will not allow the sorrow of the sorrows to overwhelm the joy of the joys.
That is harder to do on Mother’s Day than most of the other days of the year. Yet I know she doesn’t want anyone to feel bad for her. I know she will refuse any inner temptation to sink into self-pity. She is nothing if not practical and means to enjoy the day as it is, not as she might wish it to be. Why miss the joys for grief? Why allow one great sorrow to overwhelm so many blessings great and small?
She has determined she will not allow the sorrow of the sorrows to overwhelm the joy of the joys.
Had you asked me a few years ago how she would endure the loss of a child, I wouldn’t have known how to reply. I suppose I might have wondered if she would be able to face it without her mind breaking or her faith crumbling. This was, after all, her worst nightmare and her deepest dread. But now I know I had too little confidence in her and too little confidence in the Lord. She has faced it with grace. She has endured it with faith. She has borne it with a deep trust in the one who both gives and takes away.
None of us knows what our body is made of until we attempt to lift a heavy weight and none of us knows what our faith is made of until we are called to bear a heavy sorrow. Through this great sorrow, she has proven she will continue to trust the Lord and serve him, to count her blessings more significant than her griefs, to tell of God’s many mercies, and to express confidence that a day will come when such trust will be rewarded and such faith will give way to sight.
I’m just so proud of her for this and for so much else. I’m so proud to be able to witness the joy, the confidence, and the tenacity that comes by faith. I’m proud of her every day, but I’m especially proud on Mother’s Day.
