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The Privilege of the Pastor’s Wife

Earlier this month Crossway announced that they are considering March Pastor’s Wife Appreciation Month, and this on the occasion of Gloria Furman’s new book The Pastor’s Wife. To mark the month they have offered blog articles and video interviews featuring wives of well-known pastors, and many of these articles have been very helpful. You can find the list right here.

To this point, the bulk of the articles have focused on the struggles that can come to the pastor’s wife: the hurt, the expectations, the difficulty in making friends, and so on. Since I am married to a pastor’s wife, I can attest that these are real issues. But Aileen and I put our heads together and would like to offer an article that looks at the pastor’s wife from an alternate angle: the privilege of it. Because despite the difficulties, the pastor’s wife does experience some unique privileges. We have written this little article with the pastor’s wife in mind in the hope that it will encourage her.

(Note: It is always dangerous to speak very broadly, but for the purposes of this article we will assume that this pastor and his wife attend a good church that takes seriously the biblical qualifications for a pastor.)

Here are 6 privileges of the pastor’s wife.

She Is Married To a Godly Man

If this pastor and his wife attend a church that loves the Bible and that honors the qualifications of a pastor, then the pastor’s wife is necessarily married to a godly man. In fact, she is married to a man who exemplifies godliness. This is not to say that her husband is perfect, of course, but it does give her the privilege of being married to a man who can be put before the congregation as one who lives a life that is above reproach (1 Timothy 3:2). With so few men called and qualified to the office, she enjoys a rare but noteworthy privilege.

She Is a Godly Woman

There is no biblical office of the pastors’ wife, and neither is there a specific list of qualifications for a pastor’s wife. However, it is clear that a man cannot be qualified to the office apart from his wife. Unless she is willing and unless she is godly, he simply cannot be a pastor. And so the church’s affirmation of a man to the office of pastor is an affirmation of his wife’s godliness and spiritual maturity. She has the privilege of having the church agree that she is godly and mature, and will only help, not hinder, the work of her husband.

She Has a Good Marriage

The pastor’s wife is not only married to a good man, but she also enjoys a good marriage with her man. His life is worthy of imitation, and so too is his marriage. After all, the Bible says that an elder must be “the husband of one wife” (1 Timothy 3:2) and that he “must manage his own household well” (1 Timothy 3:4). These qualifications, when filled out, indicate a man who loves and treasures his wife, and who leads her as Christ leads the church. His marriage to his wife testifies to the church that he is capable of leading and loving his congregation.

Her Husband Nurtures His Children

An elder must be a man who raises his children to be submissive (1 Timothy 3:4) and whose children are not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination (Titus 1:6). This indicates a father who is involved with the care and spiritual nurture of his children. The pastor’s wife will play a critical role, of course. But this qualifier indicates that the father takes an active interest in his children and raises them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. She enjoys the privilege of a husband who loves and nurtures their children.

She Is Admired

A pastor is to live above reproach and to live worthy of imitation so that he serves as a model of godliness. Do you want to know what it means to live the Christian life? Look to your pastor and live like your pastor! It is little wonder, then, that he is admired and worthy of the honor given to him. And it is little wonder that his wife is admired as well, because he is not qualified to the office apart from her, but through and because of her. In this way she is admired by the church community and she, too, is held up as a model of godliness.

She Is Married to a Respectable Man

Finally, the pastor’s wife has the privilege of being married to a respectable man. There are some vocations that command a degree of respect in the wider community, and the pastors’ wife is privileged to count her husband among them. In fact, the Bible demands that he be thought well of by outsiders (1 Timothy 3:7) so that he is both known and admired in the wider community. The pastor’s wife is married to a man who is an involved and upstanding member of the community where no one thinks evil of his life or character. She feels no shame when she interacts in the community, because her husband is a respectable man.

The pastor’s wife has a unique calling, and one that comes with particular challenges. But it is also one that comes with considerable privileges. So, pastor’s wife, we honor you, and we thank God for the privileges you enjoy.

Image credit: Shutterstock


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