I am convinced it is appropriate to acknowledge those who bear with chronic pain and illness and that it is especially fitting to give special honor to do those who do so with a deep sense of submission to God’s mysterious purposes in their suffering. But if that’s true, I believe it is also appropriate to give honor to those who walk with them and care for them.
As much as we acknowledge the difficulties inherent in chronic pain and long illnesses, we also need to acknowledge that suffering is never only personal. Rather, suffering extends outward to spouses, family members, and other caretakers. They, too, deserve recognition and they, too, need support. It is for these carers that Nate Brooks has written Disrupted Journey: Walking with Your Loved One Through Chronic Pain and Illness (which I thought was releasing this week but have since learned will remain on pre-order until mid-month). “This book is a meditation on trying to faithfully live out [the Bible’s] oh-so-simple-sounding commands [about loving others] when life veers far away from being the best of times. How do we love God when he in his providence has allowed life-altering pain and illness into our loved one’s life? And how do we love our loved one well when they are wrestling with their whole world being turned upside down?” This book is meant to offer hope, instruction, and encouragement.
While Brooks is appropriately discrete when it comes to details, he reveals that his wife has long suffered from chronic pain and that he has been her primary carer for more than 10 years. This means he is all too familiar with medical conundrums, with rewriting every category of life as chronic issues manifest themselves, and with dark nights of the soul as he and his wife have been forced to reconsider what they thought they knew about themselves and God. “Chronic pain and illness are the backdrop for the movie of our life. They were there when we were newlyweds trying to figure out how to take two lives and blend them into one. They were there as we welcomed three kids into the world and lived in four states. They were there as we watched God take Kate’s father home to be with him. They have wound their way through every event, every milestone, every day of our existence. And barring something unexpected, we have about forty-five more years to go.”
With such experience in the background, Brooks writes about those situations in which suffering isn’t merely a season but an ongoing reality. He expresses the despair that comes when a carer realizes that he or she didn’t sign up for this. He considers how those whose life is framed by chronic pain and illness almost become strangers to the society around them as it presses on while they are forced to slow down or even stop. He reflects on the nature of God and humanity and takes the time to describe the lives of three historical figures who also cared for suffering loved ones. In other words, he writes a book from one carer to another, from someone who is familiar with the joys and difficulties of being called to the special task of walking with a loved one through the most difficult of times.
Appropriately, Brooks closes his work with a statement of confidence that in the end, God will make all things right. Both the pain of the one suffering the chronic illness and the pain of the one who cares for them will be swept away in a great tide of healing and joy when Christ returns. That confidence and the hope that comes with it is meant to encourage any carer to press on through every difficulty and every trial. His book is both comforting and encouraging and I gladly recommend it to anyone who knows what it is to have their journey through this life disrupted by chronic pain, long illness, and other such trials.
