Skip to content ↓

You Know You’re A Newbie Blogger When…

I’m jumping on a bandwagon. I’ve read a few of the “You Might Be A…” lists lately and have gotten a chuckle from them. Or some of them anyways. Jollyblogger tells us how to know you’re a Presbyterian, Semper Reformada tells us 10 Reasons Why She’s a Calvinist and Tim Irvin tells us that you may just be a BMAA Baptist if….

So here is my humble attempt. Here is how to know that you’re new to the blogosphere:

  1. You have links on your site to Blogshares and BlogExplosion and think these will actually drive traffic your way.
  2. You are a member of more than three aggregators.
  3. A word count on your blogroll turns up a higher number of words than in every article you’ve written.
  4. You think that Michael Spencer is a Calvinist (sorry Michael!).
  5. You think a link from Boarsheadtavern is necessarily an endorsement of the quality of your writing (I’ll stop now).
  6. You think that the number of comments on a site somehow correlates to the quality of the author’s commentary.
  7. All your comments and trackbacks are from friends you didn’t know you had inviting you to play poker.
  8. You actually care what character from Napoleon Dynamite you most resemble or what vegetable you’d be (if you were a vegetable, which you may just be if you enjoy memes this much).
  9. You think that writing good articles will make you a popular blogger. (I’ll let you in on the secret. The fact is that you have to be either famous, contentious, or Phil Johnson to make people notice you.)
  10. You still believe that just because you can find some readers that agree with you it means you are right.

  • Idleness

    Neither Idle nor Idolatrous

    As a new Lord’s Day dawns, it seems fitting that we remind ourselves of the power and purpose of the precious privileges of hearing from God, speaking to God, and belonging to God. As Christians through the centuries have pondered these means of grace, these key habits of the Christian life, they have always felt…

  • A La Carte Collection cover image

    Weekend A La Carte (January 24)

    A La Carte: Who is rich and who is poor? / The new rise of stoicism / A new hymn / When your daughter becomes a mother / The fruit of kindness / How we worship / and more.

  • The Humility Project

    The Humility Project for Men

    I have lots of good memories from the various conferences I have been to through the years, but there is one that often stands out. I was one of many speakers at a counseling conference and, at some point, the speakers were invited to join together for a group activity. We were given the option:…

  • A La Carte Friday 2

    A La Carte (January 23)

    A La Carte: Escaping the touchscreen trap / A censorious spirit / John Piper on the best religion / The evil of envy / The men God uses / Managing email well / Kindle deals / and more.

  • A La Carte Thursday 1

    A La Carte (January 22)

    A La Carte: Suffering as spiritual formation / Save the humanities from the slop / Dying to give / Someone is getting played / Using gifts or burning out? / Preparing to pray / and more.