#singleness and dating

Danger Signs of an Unhealthy Dating Relationship

I expect we have all seen dating relationships go wrong. We have all seen people move from unwise and unhealthy dating relationships into turbulent, difficult, or even doomed marriages. How can we help people avoid this? What are some danger signs of an unhealthy dating relationship? Lou Priolo’s books have often been helpful to me and this has proven the case once more with a little booklet he’s written on this very subject. He offers a long list of danger signs, but …

What Is the Gift of Singleness?

What is this gift of singleness that demands so much attention from Christian pastors and writers? And when some believers have such a strong desire to be married, is it right and considerate to refer to singleness as a gift? These are valid questions that stem from a desire to understand a tricky text. In 1 Corinthians 7:6-7 Paul says, “Now as a concession, not a command, I say this, I wish that all were as I myself am. But …

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Positive Purity

We live in a sexualized culture—a very, very sexualized culture. You already know that, of course. You can barely walk out your door or turn on a screen without seeing clear evidence of the fact. As Christians we are always in danger of being swept along with the current of the culture around us. For that reason I, like every other Christian, pursue sexual purity in my own heart and life. God calls us to nothing less. Thankfully, the Bible …

5 Ways to Ruin a Perfectly Good Dating Relationship

Somewhere along the way dating became too hard. There must have been a time when it was easy—people knew what was expected of them and how to behave (even if too often they just went ahead and chose not to behave). But today I talk to an endless succession of young people who are trapped between dating and courting and some weird hybrid of the two. Dating has become the most difficult thing in the world, probably because they’ve got a …

What Is Engagement?

A friend of mine expects that she will soon be engaged to be married, and finds herself wondering about the nature of engagement. We assume it: We must get engaged to be married before we actually get married. But what is engagement? Is it an inviolable agreement with all the significance of marriage? Is it a tentative agreement that can be broken off on a whim? What exactly is this thing we call engagement? The first thing we must admit …

How Far Is Too Far?

Everyone has had to ask or answer the question at one time or another: When it comes to the physical component of a dating relationship, how far is too far? Can we hold hands? Can we kiss? Can we do a little bit more than kiss? Should we even explore the physical relationship a little bit to ensure we are compatible? I am accustomed to giving the easy answer: “It’s not about how far can we go, but how holy …

What Do You Think of eHarmony?

A reader of the site recently asked me this question: “What is your opinion about using eHarmony or some other online dating site to find a spouse?” He also asked that if I am in favor of such sites, I provide a recommendation of a good service. While this is a distinctly twenty-first century question, the Bible remains a steady guide. Let me offer one small but important clarification before I proceed. It is a safe assumption that almost all …

The Means to the End

Not too long ago my youngest sister began dating a guy who seems to have made her all twitterpated. Shortly after she started seeing him, she drove up to Canada to spend a few days with my family. I took the opportunity to try to impart some big-brotherly wisdom to her. I told her that I have known a great many couples who began dating as Christians and who set strict limits about how far they wanted the physical limits …

Is It Better Not To Marry?

1 Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does …