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Friday Frivolity (Pastor Rushes, Christian Atheists, And More)
- 03/10/06
- 21
My friend Matthew sent me an interesting article today. It is the story of a Christian athiest. Yes, you read that correct: a Christian atheist. Isn't postmodernism wonderful? The article begins like this:
I don't believe in God.I don't believe Jesus Christ was the son of a God that I don't believe in, nor do I believe Jesus rose from the dead to ascend to a heaven that I don't believe exists.
Given these positions, this year I did the only thing that seemed sensible: I formally joined a Christian church.
And so he stood before a Presbyterian Church and affirmed that he endorsed the core principles in Christ's teaching; intended to work to deepen his understanding and practice of the universal love at the heart of those principles; and pledged to be a responsible member of the church and the larger community. Wonderful. He concludes, then, that "I'm a Christian, sort of. A secular Christian. A Christian atheist, perhaps. But, in a deep sense, I would argue, a real Christian."
I would like to know, purely out of interest, what he feels are the core principles in Christ's teaching. That Christ is the only way to the Father? That seemed fairly central to Jesus. That we are all sinful God-haters? That was another key. But of course none of this would matter to him. He goes on to deny that the Bible is a literal book but affirms his belief that it is, at best, metaphorical and is meant to be read symbolically. He explains that his desire to join a church was based more on politics than theology. And then he suggests that anyone, even a member of a different religion, can be a Christian.
There is so much that can be said about this article, but really, is there any point? This is yet another example of postmodernism allowing a person to redefine hard truths. In this postmodern mindset, a person who does not like the meaning of a particular word is more than welcome to define it as he sees fit. The accepted, historical meaning of a word really has no relevance. If Mr. Jensen would like "Christian" to refer to a person who denies Christ but who accepts the teaching of this mythical figure, then we ought to welcome him with open arms.
His new church, St. Andrew's Presbyterian Church, which seems to have no right to name itself after Andrew or even call itself a church, includes on their horrendously bad web site, a page dedicated to "words of wisdom." They include "pearls of wisdom" from a variety of religions. It's nauseating. Jensen seems to have found a church worthy of his new-found beliefs.
Stuff and nonsense, I say!
But if you really want to read about it, you can do so here.
Let's move along. While I was at the Shepherd's Conference I mentioned the ongoing pastor rushes - those times when pastors rush their way to the front of the church to secure the premier seats for each of the sessions. This rush happens before almost every session, provided that the worship center has been closed prior to that session. I managed to make my way into the church before one of the sessions and setup at the front of the church with my camera. The worship team finished their practice and staff members moved to each of the ten or twelve doors to the worship center. After a countdown from ten to zero, all of the doors were opened simultaneously. Sure enough, a crowd of pastors came belting down the aisle, jostling for the pews closest to the front.
Armed with my camera, I captured some visual evidence of this grand event. My camera is, unfortunately, a little dated and was not able to secure great pictures. But still, the following three shots will provide a glimpse of the infamous pastor rush.
This is the view from the front a split second after the doors were opened:
This is the view a couple of seconds later (the amount of time that elapsed between the photos is the amount of time it takes for my camera to reset between shots). So as to keep this an opportunity for humor and not gossip, I blurred the faces of the two men who were leading the charge:
And this is the next shot. At this point the person who led the sprint down the aisle has nearly enveloped me. Thankfully I was seperated from him by the hard back of a pew.
And finally, I had a person forward me a link to a new video from SermonSpice entitled Evangelism Linebacker. It is a blatant ripoff of Reebok's series of ads featuring "Terry Tate: Office Linebacker." I got to thinking about the web site and became offended at the name. SermonSpice. The site encourages pastors to add a little "spice" to their sermons by adding a video to it. Do we really need multimedia spice in our sermons? I have no real objection to the occasional funny video, but not during the sermon! If a sermon needs some spice that badly, perhaps the pastor needs to spend more time preparing.
And that is it for me for today. Needless to say, after a week away I have a large stack of work piling up around me. I'm a busy lad at the moment!
I am a follower of Jesus Christ, a husband to Aileen and a father to three young children. I write books and blogs for fun while doing web design and consulting for a living. I worship and serve at 
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Comments (21)
ROFL
Those pictures (and your explanations) were priceless. Thank you for my Friday morning laugh.
The "pastor rush" is kind of funny, but wouldn't it be amazing if everyone rushed into church each Sunday to get a front-row seat?
I truly appreciate all your hard work on documenting a tremendous amount of information at the Shepherd's Conference. Those pictures and captions are great. I think we should all chip in and get you a new camera w/ video on it so next year we can enjoy the "rush" even more. Let us know...did you see any elbows thrown?
I did not see any elbows thrown, but I did watch it all through a 2-inch screen on my camera, so I really didn't see much of anything...
Next year I'll be sure to borrow a better camera. Then again, I don't know that any camera can react very well to a rush of people heading straight for it...
Our pastor spoke about the conference last night at our weekly Thursday night Bible fellowship at our home. Besides elaborating on Nehemiah 8 and "Where's the hunger for the Word" and the concern for personality on the church rather than the person of Christ. "If Christ isn't sufficient, we have no Gospel."... He then mentioned this pastor rush experience. He said, even though he and the Elder from our church were waiting within arms length of the doors for them to be opened, for some reason they usually could not find a seat, but near the back. "Noble men float."
Those pastors obviously DO NOT UNDERSTAND church protocol. You fill the sanctuary from back-to-front, NOT the other way around.
My goodness, some people never learn....
;-)
----bill
Tim,Two folds here...
By that Christian Athiest (CA) up above, In his eyes, he has determined that Christianity a political party. His church is probably the reason that Mark Devers is the man he is.
Guys and gals, Tim's pictures and description doesn't do the event any justice. There is a science here that has not been investigated yet. When you have a group of men and you are trying to secure an area for everyone to sit together, which I might add is a virtual impossibility. You have to divide and conquer. Using two different doors so that one gets one end of the row and the other on the other end of the row. It is quite a fun time.
Sometimes you even see pastor's flinging their bookbags including their Bibles into a pew from across the room to get the seat.
Funny story about the "Pastor Rush":
My friend Erik was engaged in the rush, and wound up arriving at the third row at exactly the same time as another pastor. He turned away to concede the row and find another seat, and when he did his cell phone holster caught on something and broke...sending the phone flying!
Rather than worry about the cell phone, he continued to secure a row for our group and planned to deal with it later (Erik is a good soldier!). After we all got seated, he returned to the scene of the collision and began crawling around on the floor looking for his lost cell phone.
He had been doing this for a moment or two when the other pastor appeared and asked Erik if he was looking for a cell phone. As it turns out, the phone had popped right out of the holster and landed inside this pastor's shirt! He had apparently fished it out of there after the rush was over and was looking for its owner.
Now that's some full contact churchin' !!
I wonder if the ministers who were in charge of the sessions notice the pastor rush going on. If so, did they rebuke the audience? Just wondering...hope lessons be learnt for next time...
Loved the pictures. Do they let children back in their home churches rush into Sunday morning services the same way?
Tim,
The Evangelism Linebacker is a friend of mine. He is a good brother. He loves to debate me about my view of Election and Free Will (he is studying at Norm Geisler's seminary), but he is a good preacher and a fun guy with a sharp mind and a heart for the lost.
I have made sure he has read at least on John Piper book. Smile.
Here is his web site - www.oneheartatatime.org
BTW - I agree with you about the web site "sermonspice" - what a silly title. I fear far too many preachers use these and other sorts of sites for far too much "content"
Just a word on "sermonspice.com"--you mentioned that if a pastor had to utilize such a video during their sermon, this might mean said pastor would have to brush up a bit on the preaching.
More than that, I'd say! How about re-visiting the idea of the Second Commandment, and the "Regulative Principle of Worship"? That is: whatsoever that God commands must be obeyed (including forbiding images in worship), and whatsoever God does not expressly commands (regarding worship, that is), is expressly forbidden. Remember ol' Nadab and Abihu, Aaron's priestly sons who offered "profane fire" before the Lord? Dude. Flames o' fury, man! God isn't playing around with how He is approached in worship, and I don't think "sermonspice" or any other image-makers are the answer He was looking for.
I think Jesus said it all in John 14 when He promised that the Holy Spirit would come in omnipotence and remind His disciples of everything that Jesus said.
What more do we need? 'Nuff said.
Tim:I think the 'evangelism linebacker' was good idea, bad execution - it's just too long. The original Terry Tate commercials were great because of the shock value, and this played off that somewhat-- but after 30-45 seconds no more shock.
Also, no way to work in "TPS reports."
three of us attended the shepherds' conference this year- one of the guys was attending for the first time. he commented on the "pastor rush" several times, calling it "disturbing" among other things. a few comments, not all original: 1. i thought some of the "pastor rushers" acted like they were attending a general admission seating rock concert.2. i thought there should have been some sort of "rebuke."3. it appeared that the same group of people were always in the "pastor rush".4. did it ever occur to some of those "rushers" that some of the older, less agile pastors would have loved to be able to sit close to the front at least ONCE during the conference? i doubt any of them grabbed a seat, then offered it to someone else.5. it makes me wonder who the "rushers" were coming to worship?6. some of these same "rushers" were probably of the same group that acted like they'd never seen a 'free book'! i took a few elbows in the head during that event.
all in all, a great conference. tim, thanks for all the hard work blogging the conference. i would have liked to have met you, but neve got the chance. i guess i'll just settle for reading your blog each day.
"God loves 'ya! Now get off the floor and go door to door!"
*cries* I do believe your innocent little link has scarred me (and very likely my brother-in-law who happened to be passing through) for life.
Note: I've never seen the original commercial, so this is a little bit strange to me.
More than that, I'd say! How about re-visiting the idea of the Second Commandment, and the "Regulative Principle of Worship"? That is: whatsoever that God commands must be obeyed (including forbiding images in worship), and whatsoever God does not expressly commands (regarding worship, that is), is expressly forbidden.
Are you serious? LOL What constitutes images in your mind? Would a printed page be an "image?" Wouldn't a Bible be an "image" in that case, too? Is it your contention that the words, "You shall not make for yourself an idol, or any likeness of what is in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the water under the earth." necessarily includes a video or use of a screen? On what do you base this argument?
I'm curious to know, were these the same people that Tim described as createing a distraction (kind for disruption) by leaving the seminar early in order to "rush" the freebie book table? Or get to the front of the lunch line?
Keith noted:6. some of these same "rushers" were probably of the same group that acted like they'd never seen a 'free book'! i took a few elbows in the head during that event.
Let me see: ' Will I sit with reverential respect listening to some of the most Godly inspired men on the planet?'...or ' Outta the way buddy! I got some worldly gettin' to do!!'....Hmmm..
ahh, this post brought back memories of this web-site/organization....I ask "Why"?
http://www.atheists-for-jesus.com/
JP,When you stated that:ahh, this post brought back memories of this web-site/organization....I ask "Why"?Well I have no idea as to how your mind works.Or why you would spend enough time at a website such as the one you’ve mentioned, long enough to take away anything WORTH remembering.
In order to perhaps aid you in this introspection , I did visit www.atheists-for -JesusI’m sorry, but this paragraph is as far as I could get in reading such ridiculous material.
All too many of these Fundamentalists seemed to feel that the worth of a Christian could be accurately measured by the number of individuals and groups that the Christian held in contempt (feminists; homosexuals; Atheists; Mormons; Catholics; and basically ANYONE who did not completely agree with their narrow brand of Christianity). As I said, I did not see much in Christianity that I considered to be worth the having.
Now, IF, (and I’m really reaching here) you’re attempting to equate the rebuking of ill manneredand discourteous saints, to the absurd conclusion that Ken Schei , founder and president of ‘Atheists for Christ’ has formed (as presented above); let me point out that I don’t hold feminists; homosexuals; atheists; mormons; catholics or anyone in contempt, rather, I pray for them.
I hope this helps in answering “why” I believe there is really no comparison and should notevoke any memory at all to such an outrageous website/organization.
If I’m ’missing the mark’ on this and you’re able to answer your own question as to why, please enlighten me.
Respectfully,philip
Philip,
You read too far into to my post, I do not support the suggested web-site. I just remember seeing it some time ago and when I started reading this post about a "Christian Atheist".....it triggered my memory. It is an extremely outrageous organization.....I'm with you.
"Are you serious? LOL What constitutes images in your mind?"
Careful, now. Most people who subscribe to the Regulative Principle, Presbyterians and Baptists alike (and a few others) would agree that films have no place in the worship service. Read into the RP a little bit and you'll see that they make a good case.