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  • Do Not Be Surprised if the World Hates You

    Do Not Be Surprised if the World Hates You

    There is no source of comfort as true or as good as God’s book, the Bible. For millennia, God’s people have turned to its pages to find solace, to find hope and encouragement. Sometimes comfort is found in unexpected places, in unlikely words. I found it this morning in a simple sentence written by Jesus’s…

  • Have I Sinned Against You

    Have I Sinned Against You?

    I once had an unexpected, startling confrontation with another Christian. I was a speaker at a conference and walking from one event to another when an individual came charging up to me. He got right up in my face, like a batter arguing strikes with an umpire, and began to tell how I had offended…

  • Extending an Olive Branch

    Extending an Olive Branch

    It is the season of olive branches. At least, it is the season of metaphoric olive branches, of people offering peacemaking gestures, though whether these are genuine or opportunistic remains to be seen. My interest is more in the expression than the gestures themselves because this is yet another neat little idiom that is derived…

  • The Provocative People of Proverbs

    The perverse person. “A perverse man spreads strife, and a slanderer separates intimate friends” (16:28). Just like a computer hacker writes a virus and releases it to spread across the internet, this perverse person creates strife—bitter disagreement—and seeds it into his relationships. He may do this through slander, through gossip, and through backbiting, always with…

  • Danger Signs of an Unhealthy Dating Relationship

    I expect we have all seen dating relationships go wrong. We have all seen people move from unwise and unhealthy dating relationships into turbulent, difficult, or even doomed marriages. How can we help people avoid this? What are some danger signs of an unhealthy dating relationship? Lou Priolo’s books have often been helpful to me…

  • The Beginner’s Guide to Conflict Resolution

    One matter of continual concern to me is interpersonal conflict within the church. It’s not the existence or even the quantity of conflict, but the inability or unwillingness to deal with it when it arises, and this despite the Bible’s clear teaching that Christians are to resolve conflict and how Christians are to resolve conflict.…

  • When Jesus Brings a Sword

    The Prince of Peace once told his disciples “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.” Many antagonists have interpreted this to mean that Jesus incites his followers to acts of violence—if not physical violence, at least relational. In their…

  • You Don’t Really Know Who Your Friends Are Until…

    You don’t really know who your friends are until their relationship with you becomes a liability instead of a benefit. Many celebrities, and even Christian celebrities, have learned this lesson the hard way. In the blink of an eye, or the release of a news story, they went from fêted to ignored, from celebrated to…

  • To the other woman's embrace

    To the Other Woman’s Embrace

    I sometimes wonder what it was like for Sarah as she watched Abraham and Hagar walk into that tent together—what she thought, what she felt (Genesis 16). What was it like for the wife to watch her husband seek privacy with that other woman, knowing exactly what they were about to do? Where did her…

  • Never Sorry Enough

    Never Sorry Enough

    I am not easily offended. People will sometimes apologize to me for something they have said or something they have done, concerned that I was offended at their behavior. But I rarely am. It usually doesn’t even occur to me to be offended. But then there is that one situation with that one friend. A…

  • Friends

    “I Love You” and “Please Forgive Me”

    The “I love you.” You know the words, and you know the weight they carry. Recently Aileen and I were remembering back to the first time we said those words to one another. Each of us already knew how the other felt, but that did nothing to temper the thrill of actually voicing it and…

  • 7 Conditions for Confrontation

    I have found myself intrigued by a new book by Chris Bruno and Matt Dirks titled Churches Partnering Together. I guess the title says it all–it is about developing bonds between churches so different congregations, and their leaders, can be on mission together. In one chapter the authors discuss the inevitability of confrontation and I…

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    More on Spiritual Abuse

    Last week I spoke to Bob Kellemen about the difficult subject of spiritual abuse. We worked toward a definition of the term and looked also at what shouldn’t rightly be classified as abuse. I had more questions and Bob was kind enough to answer them (and, in my opinion, to answer well). Here’s the rest…

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    Spiritual Abuse

    In the last couple of years, as I’ve read blogs and other web sites, I have often come across the term “spiritual abuse.” It is a term that seems to be gaining a little bit of traction with whole blogs dedicated to it. It describes a clear reality–that where there is spiritual authority in a…

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    A Senseless Conflict?

    Scientific American is a popular science magazine with a monthly circulation approaching 700,000. Including foreign language editions, the circulation increases to over 1,000,000. First published in 1845, it is the oldest continuously published magazine in the United States. Quite needless to say, it is not a publication that is particularly friendly to creationism. How unfriendly…

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    Mr. Storms and Mr. Taylor, I Respectfully Disagree

    The most recent issue of Christianity Today features a short article by Chuck Colson entitled “Soothing Ourselves to Death” which, if you are so inclined, you could read by clicking here. Colson contends that “much of the music being written for the church today reflects an unfortunate trend–slipping across the line from worship to entertainment.…