Aileen (Tim’s wife) here! After Tim wrote 18 Things I Will Not Regret Doing With My Kids and 18 Things I Will Not Regret Doing With My Wife quite a few people got in touch to ask if he would round it out with an article by a wife for her husband. He hadn’t intended to do that when he began writing, but thought it would make sense to close out the little series that way. Tim asked me if I would be willing to take it on. I am kind of a reluctant writer, but decided to take the challenge (with the agreement that he wouldn’t change everything I said!).
So here are 18 things I will not regret doing with my husband.
1. Dating him. Because Tim is a pastor, Monday is usually his day off. But like most days off, our Mondays are usually filled with chores (and in his case, writing). But one thing we always try to do is to get away from the house and go out for some time and some lunch. I will never regret setting aside that time to be together.
2. Cooking. Well, Tim mostly watches, but some of my sweetest memories come from him pulling a chair into the kitchen to hang out with me while I prepare dinner in the evening (I think he does it totally subconsciously too!). Friday nights is our pizza and movie night and Tim usually pitches in and we make the pizza together. I love these moments and will never regret that time spent cooking together.
3. Praying with him. I love praying with my husband. I love hearing him pray because I see so much of his heart when I listen to him speaking to the Lord. I will never regret prioritizing the times praying with him.
4. Freeing him to serve. This has been a struggle in our marriage and there have been times I have resented how much time and attention his pastoring takes. Freeing up Tim to serve our church not just by allowing him to go, but by believing in the necessity and benefit of his ministry to the church allows him to function as he should in the position God has given him. He is a better elder, husband and father when he feels this freedom. I know I will never regret freeing him up to serve.
5. Kissing him goodnight. Tim and I usually go to bed at the same time and pray together before we fall asleep. Too often it is easy, at the end of a long day, to simply roll over and go to sleep. But that goodnight kiss is such a sweet, simple way of showing affection. I will never regret kissing my husband goodnight.
6. Working together on projects. From the time we began dating, Tim and I have worked together on events or projects. From home improvement projects, running companies together, or promoting concerts and conferences, we have always worked well together. The time spent working together for a common goal has only strengthened our marriage. Working together is something I will never regret.
7. Family devotions. I love watching my husband read the Bible to our kids. I love watching him interact with them about the text and then praying with them about it. I will never regret the time we spend together in family devotions.
8. Laughing. I love it when Tim laughs. He is a reserved person who will often chuckle, but will less often outright laugh. However, when he is really amused he has the most delightful laugh. I cherish the times where we can laugh together.
9. Asking his forgiveness. I am a proud person, and it has taken me a long time to learn how to ask for forgiveness when I sin against the most important person in my life. I am so thankful for God’s grace and growth and pray for continued growth here. I know and I have learned that I will never regret asking for Tim’s forgiveness when I sin against him.
10. Being affectionate. Tim and I naturally receive love in different ways. His love language is touch. Mine is not. I have had to learn how much it means to him for me to show physical affection and I never regret the time spent showing affection in his love language.
11. Calling him. I usually call Tim while I’m heading home from an evening out riding or playing soccer. Often I call when I’m excited about my evening and I want to tell him what is happening. I will never regret the times chatting in the car on my way home.
12. Learning with him. Since we first began dating eighteen years ago, we have enjoyed learning together (Maybe because we first met in a high school classroom!). Though it’s so often hard to find the time, we always enjoy reading a book or an article or listening to a sermon together. I will never regret the time I spend learning with him.
13. Following his lead. The heart of a wife’s submission to her husband is trusting her husband’s leadership and allowing herself to be led. Our marriage and our lives simply work so much better when I allow myself to follow Tim’s leadership. In my best moments I know that I will never regret letting him lead.
14. Affirming him. There are many voices telling men who they are, but the wife’s is the loudest of all. A husband’s ego is far more fragile than we often understand. Every wife learns quickly that she can build him up or tear him down with her words and attitude. I see how dependent Tim is on my voice, and know I will never regret encouraging and affirming him.
15. Greeting him. Greeting Tim when he comes in the door at the end of his day is something I still am working on. I often get wrapped up in what I am doing, but this is a small thing that means so much to him. I know I will never regret greeting my husband with a hug and a kiss and a “How as your day?”
16. Traveling with him. We still have a young family, but a few times we’ve been able to ask someone to watch our kids so we can get away together. This takes a lot of prep time!—I spend a week organizing meals and cleaning my house so I can travel to a conference or some place else with Tim. But I love the time spent with him and I love seeing him in that context. I will never regret carving out the time to travel with my husband.
17. Engaging with him. We have a busy household with three children who demand and who need a lot of our time. And in all the chaos, I know I will never regret taking the time to stop what I’m going and engage with my husband to show him and the kids how important he is to me.
18. Forgiving him. Tim sins against me, but almost always asks for my forgiveness. I am so thankful for Christ’s blood that covers all my sin, and so thankful that it tells me that I am to also to forgive my husband. I learned quickly in marriage that when I don’t forgive, I grow bitter, so I know and believe that I will never ever regret forgiving my husband.
And this concludes the little “18 Things” series! But before you go, why don’t you tell me some the things you know you’ll never regret doing with your husband.