Skip to content ↓

No Squishy Love, No Brutal Truth

Focus Clarity

Sin has made our vision opaque and our minds dull. We do not see God for who he really is and ourselves for who we really are. We think far too little of God and far too highly of ourselves. On our own we are doomed to look blindly and think badly.

But as our inner nature is renewed by the Word, our vision becomes progressively clearer. Our minds become sharp. We put aside the ugly lies we once believed and embrace the beautiful truths. Thinking well—seeing and understanding the world as it truly is—is a privilege and obligation of every believer.

God’s desire is not merely that we reflect his truth in our conclusions, but that we reflect his character in our deliberations.

But the privilege and obligation upon us is not merely to believe the right things. We also need to come to those beliefs in the right way. It’s not enough to arrive at theological conclusions that reflect the mind of God; it’s also important to reach those conclusions in a way that reflects the character of God. God’s desire is not merely that we reflect his truth in our conclusions, but that we reflect his character in our deliberations.

And this, I fear, is where too many of us do too poorly. Much of our theological refining is now carried out online. When news breaks or issues arise, we head for social media where we can observe or participate in real-time debate. We don’t carry out these discussions with friends in community but with strangers in cyberspace. We don’t carry them out through face-to-face interactions but through electronic media. We use impulsive, dehumanizing forms of communication and act surprised when our discussions are breakneck and inhumane.

The Bible calls us to both truth and love—not some squishy love that refuses to name error, but also not some truth that is harsh and brutal. Our pursuit of truth is to be carried out in a loving way, which is to say, a godlike way. This love is patient and kind (because God is patient and kind). This love is gentle and forbearing (because God is gentle and forbearing). This love is willing to move slowly and to rejoice at small gains (because God is willing to move slowly and to rejoice at small gains). It doesn’t give up easily, doesn’t have unrealistic expectations, and doesn’t assume ill motives. It acknowledges the common bond of the Spirit—that deepest possible source of deepest possible unity.

My fear and concern about so many of today’s debates is that even if we win many battles, we may still lose the war. We may protect truth, but what have we gained if our triumph comes through scorched-earth battles that treat other believers as the enemy and grind them under foot? Yes, God means for us to guard the content of the gospel, but he also means for us to guard the people of the gospel. He cares deeply for his truth, but also for his church. It’s not just the victory that is meaningful to him, but means through which the victory is achieved.

As Christians, we have the great privilege of seeing the world as it really is, and of believing about the world what is really true. But my brothers and sisters, let’s commit amongst ourselves to be as concerned about the journey as the destination. Let’s ensure our discussions and debates are as marked by Christian character as our conclusions are grounded in biblical truth.


  • Thoughts

    Can Satan Put Thoughts Into Our Minds?

    Each of us is familiar with the experience of being tempted to sin. Sometimes these temptations arise from outside of us and sometimes they arise from within. Each of our three sworn enemies—the world, the flesh, and the devil—has the ability to tempt us to do what God forbids or fail to do what God…

  • A La Carte Collection cover image

    A La Carte (December 3)

    A La Carte: Christ or Christian culture? / How to see your own blind spots / Kevin DeYoung’s questions for Christian Nationalists / Beware of desensitization / I want to be the princess / and more.

  • A La Carte Collection cover image

    A La Carte (December 2)

    A La Carte: Lab rats for gender drug tests / How your church can serve the poor / Cross-cultural ministry / Cross-cultural marriage / The gift of nothing to do / Kindle deals / and more.

  • Self Loathing

    Don’t Think Lower Thoughts of Yourself than God Does

    I can be prone to self-loathing. Sometimes this takes the form of thinking about things I’ve done or recounting words I’ve said and detesting myself for them. Sometimes it takes the form of thinking about who I am and hating who God has made me to be, or thinking about the way God has gifted…

  • A La Carte Collection cover image

    A La Carte (December 1)

    A La Carte: Should I stay or go? / Dust / Worshiping God at the ends of the earth / Why many reject penal substitutionary atonement / We have not arrived yet / Every human an image bearer / and more.

  • Sing

    Singing Is Not Filler Time

    While it may be rare to find a church that dedicates a substantial portion of the service to prayers and Scripture reading, it would be rare to find a church that fails to dedicate a substantial portion of the service to singing. Christians love to sing, and we have always regarded it as an essential…