Skip to content ↓

What Is the Gift of Singleness?

Gift

What is this gift of singleness that demands so much attention from Christian pastors and writers? And when some believers have such a strong desire to be married, is it right and considerate to refer to singleness as a gift? These are valid questions that stem from a desire to understand a tricky text. In 1 Corinthians 7:6-7 Paul says, “Now as a concession, not a command, I say this, I wish that all were as I myself am. But each his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot express self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

Right there, in the context of marriage and singleness, Paul insists that each Christian has “his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.” God gives to some people the good gift of marriage and he gives to others the good gift of singleness. But how can you know if you’ve been given that gift of singleness? You can know through a simple test: Are you married or are you single?

Vaughan Roberts writes about singleness and says, “As long as you have it, it’s a gift from God, just as marriage will be God’s gift if you ever receive it. We should receive our situation in life, whether it is singleness or marriage, as a gift of God’s grace to us.” John Stott concurs: “I have myself found help in 1 Corinthians 7:7. For here the apostle writes: ‘each man [or woman] has his [or her] own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.’ ‘Gift’ translates charisma, which is a gift of God’s grace (charis). So whether we are single or married, we need to receive our situation from God as his own special grace-gift to us.” Singleness is a gift. Marriage is a gift. Each is a gift from a wise, kind Father.

“My circumstances are God’s gracious gift to me, and I am to learn to accept them from his hand as such.”

How can you know if you have the gift of singleness? I don’t meant to be trite, but you can go about it this way: Look at your ring finger. No ring? You’ve got the gift of singleness. Ring? You’ve got the gift of marriage. Christopher Ash summarizes it this way: “I know which ‘gift’ I have by a simple test: if I am married, I have the gift of marriage; if I am not married, I have the gift of being unmarried.” That leaves us with an important implication and application: “My circumstances are God’s gracious gift to me, and I am to learn to accept them from his hand as such.”

God does not leave any of his people without a gift. If you are currently single, you have no reason to think you have been bypassed when God dispensed his gifts. No, your current circumstance is God’s gift to you, just as marriage will be your gift if and when he brings you a spouse. You do not need to feel guilty or rebellious if you desire marriage, provided you do not begrudge God the gift he has currently given you. While you ought to consider deliberately remaining single (see 1 Corinthians 7:7, 25-40) you are still free before God to desire marriage, to pray for it, and to pursue it.

It is crucial to understand that God’s gift provides you with special ability and responsibility to serve and honor him. Tim Keller points out that when Paul speaks of “gifts” he refers to “an ability God gives to build others up.” “The single calling Paul speaks of is neither a condition without a struggle nor on the other hand an experience of misery. It is fruitfulness in life and ministry through the single state. When you have this gift, there may indeed be struggles, but the main thing is that God is helping you grow spiritually and be fruitful in the lives of others despite them.”

God gives good gifts. God, the loving Father, loves to dispense good gifts to his children, one of one kind and one of another. To some he graciously gives the gift of marriage and all the abilities and responsibilities that attend it. To others he graciously gives the gift of singleness and all of its abilities and responsibilities. Some experience only the gift of singleness. Some experience a long gift of singleness followed by a short gift of marriage. Some experience a long gift of marriage followed by a short gift of singleness. All have the opportunity to use their gift for fruitfulness in life and ministry—the opportunity to serve the giver of such good gifts.


  • Carney Trump

    How Donald Trump Upended Canadian Politics and Helped the Liberals Win

    On April 28, Canadians elected the Liberal Party of Canada to a fourth consecutive term. This is a rare feat for a political party in Canada and in this case, one of special significance, for just months ago, the Liberals seemed destined for near-complete destruction. The cost of living was spiking, the quality of life…

  • A La Carte Collection cover image

    A La Carte (April 30)

    A La Carte: Young men wanted / The glory and danger of apologetics / God’s guidelines for sex aren’t arbitrary / How much is our church worth? / People loved the darkness / and more.

  • Erics Greatest Race

    Releasing Today: Eric’s Greatest Race

    My new book releases today! Eric’s Greatest Race is a fully illustrated graphic novel that tells young readers the story of Eric Liddell, the famous Olympian whose steadfast courage and commitment to Christ has inspired generations of believers. It is my sincere hope that it will introduce a whole new generation to a man whose…

  • A La Carte Collection cover image

    A La Carte (April 29)

    A La Carte: Has the decline of U.S. Christianity finally stopped? / Holding space for joy and sorrow / No one ever hated his own body / Wisdom principles for Christian parenting / The article you don’t want to read / A new book / Kindle deals / and more.

  • The Pursuit of Virtue

    God’s character is the essence of virtue. The heart of virtue is to know the Lord and to become like him, as a child resembles her father. That is the goal, privilege, and destiny of the redeemed. #Sponsored

  • When God Plants an Acorn

    When God Plants an Acorn, He Means an Oak

    We stood together on the crest of a hill, a gentle breeze rustling the meadow around our feet. The fields ran gently downward until they met a creek that gurgled happily in its course. A few years prior, an acorn had somehow made its way to the highest point of this hill, carelessly dropped there…