There can be a lot of sameness in Christian publishing, and, indeed, probably in any field of publishing. Certain subjects are written about repeatedly and with a lot of overlap between them. There is nothing wrong with that, of course, since some subjects are so important that they deserve such attention. Still, it is refreshing to read a book that covers an entirely new topic (to my knowledge, at least). That is exactly the case with Christopher Ash’s Not Old, Not Young, Not Done. And it is a wonderful thing.
Not Old, Not Young, Not Done is written by a man in his seventies for people who are in their fifties and sixties. He refers to these years as “the afternoon of life,” a time that falls after the years when most people marry, have children, and work their way into a particular vocation, yet before the substantial decline of old age. “I have been prompted to write this book,” he explains, “because I am not aware of very much Christian writing that addresses this in-between time of life. There are some excellent and enormously wise and helpful books about old age, and I warmly commend these. There are resources for teenagers, young singles, older singles, young marrieds, and parents of young children and teenagers. But, unless I am mistaken, there is not much that speaks to these in-between years, which are for many of us a distinctive period both of spiritual danger and spiritual opportunity.” He is convinced that these years can be especially fruitful, but also that they can be sadly wasted. His desire is that Christians use them well.
Ash offers several markers for the afternoon of life—markers that, though they are not universal, tend to characterize them: 1) children leave home, leaving us with an increasingly empty nest and eventually a completely empty one; 2) we begin to care for elderly parents, often while feeling squeezed between the generation before and after us; 3) an easing of money worries as the low earnings and heavy expenses of early life give way to greater financial stability; 4) familiarity with our jobs as we settle into our employment and even begin to ponder retirement; 5) good health, which while perhaps having already declined from our peak, is still not as poor as it may someday be; 6) more time as our children depart and our jobs stabilize—time that can be used well or poorly.
His desire in the book is not to dig deeply into the many practical questions or provide a step-by-step plan for these years. Rather, he means to speak to the heart—to explain the special challenges and opportunities that may come with these years and to prepare readers to face them well. To this end, he writes about the need for wisdom, the urgency of prayer, and the necessity of the gospel. He offers chapters on caring for aging parents, for strengthening marriage, and for interacting with grown children. He explains the importance of remaining deeply grounded in the local church, considers what it means to retire, and celebrates the joy of friendship. He bookends it all with considering the need for a godly heart and a quiet heart.
I want to encourage you, as you travel through your fifties and sixties, to cultivate a quiet heart, to learn contentment, to believe the gospel of God’s grace and to apply that gospel specifically to [specific threats and dangers he outlines]. The prize is of great value. It is a wonderful thing to walk through troubles and changes with a settled habit of entrusting yourself to the God who loves you and walks with you through Jesus. Seek to learn this in the afternoon of life so that—if God spares you for the ‘evening’—you may enjoy this blessing until the day you die or Jesus returns, which is better still.
I am about to turn 49, and a few months later, Aileen will turn 50. But these are just numbers, and already we have a deep awareness that we have entered into this afternoon of life. Already, we are seeing how different our lives have become, and already we are grappling with new challenges and embracing new opportunities. This book has offered us exactly the guidance we needed to face these challenges and opportunities well. I didn’t know how badly we needed Not Old, Not Young, Not Done, nor how much we would benefit from reading it together. I highly recommend it to anyone else who is already in the afternoon of life or who will soon be. I have every confidence that you will enjoy it as much as we have.
