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You Know You’re A Newbie Blogger When…

I’m jumping on a bandwagon. I’ve read a few of the “You Might Be A…” lists lately and have gotten a chuckle from them. Or some of them anyways. Jollyblogger tells us how to know you’re a Presbyterian, Semper Reformada tells us 10 Reasons Why She’s a Calvinist and Tim Irvin tells us that you may just be a BMAA Baptist if….

So here is my humble attempt. Here is how to know that you’re new to the blogosphere:

  1. You have links on your site to Blogshares and BlogExplosion and think these will actually drive traffic your way.
  2. You are a member of more than three aggregators.
  3. A word count on your blogroll turns up a higher number of words than in every article you’ve written.
  4. You think that Michael Spencer is a Calvinist (sorry Michael!).
  5. You think a link from Boarsheadtavern is necessarily an endorsement of the quality of your writing (I’ll stop now).
  6. You think that the number of comments on a site somehow correlates to the quality of the author’s commentary.
  7. All your comments and trackbacks are from friends you didn’t know you had inviting you to play poker.
  8. You actually care what character from Napoleon Dynamite you most resemble or what vegetable you’d be (if you were a vegetable, which you may just be if you enjoy memes this much).
  9. You think that writing good articles will make you a popular blogger. (I’ll let you in on the secret. The fact is that you have to be either famous, contentious, or Phil Johnson to make people notice you.)
  10. You still believe that just because you can find some readers that agree with you it means you are right.

  • Works & Wonders June 7

    This week’s Works & Wonders offers: The wonder and the beauty, older and rarer, His Love, Ferrari Luce, The Covenanter Story, and cheese curds.

  • Weekend A La Carte (June 6)

    There’s a playbook for college, there should be one for marriage / Ben Sasse is teaching us how to die—and live—well / The biggest tell that something was written by AI / Why China got rich and India didn’t / AI slop is coming for your playlists / The blood cancer that became solvable /…

  • Davy and Natalie Lloyd

    Strong to the End

    You have probably heard of Davy and Natalie Lloyd, even if the names aren’t immediately familiar. In May 2024, you most likely heard the news about two young American missionaries to Haiti who, along with one of their Haitian colleagues, were brutally murdered by one of the many gangs that dominate the country.

  • A La Carte (June 5)

    Can Jesus really sympathize with my specific struggles? / View your past through the lens of God’s faithfulness / Nine marks of a healthy paragraph / When you have nothing left to give / The treasure chest at the train station / When you’re too weird to lead / Headlines / and more.

  • A La Carte (June 4)

    The pastor as anti-professional / On grieving when your loved one’s faith was ambiguous / God’s mercy in withholding wealth / Not mere memories: God’s sovereign purposes in every season / 10 theses on intercession / Bargatze’s ‘Breadwinner’ should be funnier / Podcasts / and more.