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You Know You’re A Newbie Blogger When…

I’m jumping on a bandwagon. I’ve read a few of the “You Might Be A…” lists lately and have gotten a chuckle from them. Or some of them anyways. Jollyblogger tells us how to know you’re a Presbyterian, Semper Reformada tells us 10 Reasons Why She’s a Calvinist and Tim Irvin tells us that you may just be a BMAA Baptist if….

So here is my humble attempt. Here is how to know that you’re new to the blogosphere:

  1. You have links on your site to Blogshares and BlogExplosion and think these will actually drive traffic your way.
  2. You are a member of more than three aggregators.
  3. A word count on your blogroll turns up a higher number of words than in every article you’ve written.
  4. You think that Michael Spencer is a Calvinist (sorry Michael!).
  5. You think a link from Boarsheadtavern is necessarily an endorsement of the quality of your writing (I’ll stop now).
  6. You think that the number of comments on a site somehow correlates to the quality of the author’s commentary.
  7. All your comments and trackbacks are from friends you didn’t know you had inviting you to play poker.
  8. You actually care what character from Napoleon Dynamite you most resemble or what vegetable you’d be (if you were a vegetable, which you may just be if you enjoy memes this much).
  9. You think that writing good articles will make you a popular blogger. (I’ll let you in on the secret. The fact is that you have to be either famous, contentious, or Phil Johnson to make people notice you.)
  10. You still believe that just because you can find some readers that agree with you it means you are right.

  • The Most Neglected Element of Worship

    The Most Neglected Element of Worship

    There are some elements of public worship that receive a great deal of attention. These elements are taught, practiced, rehearsed, and perfected until they are as good as they can be. In most churches, this includes the music, of course, and often the preaching. Why do these receive so much attention?

  • wed 3

    A La Carte (May 20)

    The pastor who refuses to back down / The missionary with Ebola / Why we don’t trust pastors / Rushing our quiet times / The other side of seminary / The remedy, the problem, and the church / Why we need to interpret the Bible / Kindle deals / and more.

  • tues 3

    A La Carte (May 19)

    The wrong lessons from the latest scandal / The blessing of being forgotten / If your chatbot offers prayer / Have tongues ceased? / Consider the small town / Thinking Christianly about complex topics / Book releases / and more.

  • Off the Hook

    God Doesn’t Ask You To Let Him Off the Hook

    There are many ways that human beings can display our pride and arrogance toward God. There are many ways that even those of us who love him can display that we think we know better than he does. There are many ways we can behave with conceit, but perhaps never more so than when we…

  • mon 3

    A La Carte (May 18)

    I am not enough for my kids / The dangerous days past middle age / Are you filled with the Spirit? / Give away lots of money / The best way to resist temptation / A year with Pope Leo / Kindle deals / and more.

  • Works and Wonders May 17

    Works & Wonders (May 17)

    Works & Wonders features Nate Bargatze vs. Beyoncé, Eric Church & Jonathan Haidt, houses for €1, “Gone Away with a Friend,” hymn sings, a Sunday devotional, and more.