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You Know You’re A Newbie Blogger When…

I’m jumping on a bandwagon. I’ve read a few of the “You Might Be A…” lists lately and have gotten a chuckle from them. Or some of them anyways. Jollyblogger tells us how to know you’re a Presbyterian, Semper Reformada tells us 10 Reasons Why She’s a Calvinist and Tim Irvin tells us that you may just be a BMAA Baptist if….

So here is my humble attempt. Here is how to know that you’re new to the blogosphere:

  1. You have links on your site to Blogshares and BlogExplosion and think these will actually drive traffic your way.
  2. You are a member of more than three aggregators.
  3. A word count on your blogroll turns up a higher number of words than in every article you’ve written.
  4. You think that Michael Spencer is a Calvinist (sorry Michael!).
  5. You think a link from Boarsheadtavern is necessarily an endorsement of the quality of your writing (I’ll stop now).
  6. You think that the number of comments on a site somehow correlates to the quality of the author’s commentary.
  7. All your comments and trackbacks are from friends you didn’t know you had inviting you to play poker.
  8. You actually care what character from Napoleon Dynamite you most resemble or what vegetable you’d be (if you were a vegetable, which you may just be if you enjoy memes this much).
  9. You think that writing good articles will make you a popular blogger. (I’ll let you in on the secret. The fact is that you have to be either famous, contentious, or Phil Johnson to make people notice you.)
  10. You still believe that just because you can find some readers that agree with you it means you are right.

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    Arrogance & Eloquence

    When Jesus’s disciples asked for instruction on prayer, he warned them of a common temptation—the temptation to think that prayer depends upon saying just the right words or a certain number of words. “When you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do,” he said, “for they think that they will be…

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    Weekend A La Carte (March 8)

    A La Carte: The maturation of New Calvinism / The class divide over screen time / New from the Gettys / Getting organized for the glory of God / Keep calm and read Scripture / and more.

  • Disrupted Journey

    Disrupted Journey

    I am convinced it is appropriate to acknowledge those who bear with chronic pain and illness and that it is especially fitting to give special honor to do those who do so with a deep sense of submission to God’s mysterious purposes in their suffering. But if that’s true, I believe it is also appropriate…

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    A La Carte (March 7)

    A La Carte: Anora and Andrew Tate / The other side of the pew / The myth of the easy answer / Are Christians happier? / Shared meals / Gentle and holy / Kindle deals / and more.

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    A La Carte (March 6)

    A La Carte: Mystic at heart / The complexities of Bible translation / Pastors are not political pundits / The workism trap / Virtues gone mad / Book and Kindle deals / and more.

  • My Son Would Be 25 Years Old Today

    Nick Would Be 25 Years Old Today

    I don’t why we place more emphasis on some birthdays than others. Why is 16 more significant than 17? Why are multiples of 5 more significant than multiples of 4 or 6? I don’t who decides these things or on what basis, but I suppose 25 is significant because it marks a quarter of a…