Skip to content ↓

Reflections on Bachelorhood

I never had a chance to be a bachelor. I started dating Aileen when I was still a teenager, got engaged at twenty and married at twenty-one. We both lived with our parents until the day we married. We had both lived at home through our college years. Over the past years of our marriage I have only rarely spent a night apart from her. I believe we were apart for almost a week about six years ago, but since then we haven’t been apart for more than two nights, and even when she has been away, I’ve always had to keep the kids. So this week of solitude has been, well, different.

For example, I didn’t eat very much. Cooking for just myself seemed like a waste of time. I found, though, that if I timed things just right, it was possible to make do on exactly one meal per day. A large meal at about 2 PM could be made to last through the evening. If I got to work early in the morning I would forget all about breakfast. I tended to get hungry late in the morning, but I could suppress my desire to eat for a couple of hours. Saved time, saved money. I’m sure all the ladies out there will scold me, but I am impenitent.

I also found that working from the crack of dawn until 11 PM is not conducive to a good night’s sleep. My body has grown quite dependent on some evening downtime, usually spent with my nose stuck in a book. Forfeiting this time guarantees at least two or three hours of tossing and turning before I finally shut down enough to sleep.

Yesterday I picked up the family and brought them home. Aileen made a remark about being the only family who leaves the cottage on a Friday to spend a weekend in the city. She raises a good point. Anyways, having the family back with me gave me an opportunity to think about the single life versus family life. Here are a few discoveries I made. If I were single I would:

Eat less. I would eat one meal a day with a couple of snacks when I got bored.

Work more. A lot more. I’d probably work myself nearly to death. I found that beyond my family and work I do not have enough activities to keep me busy outside of work hours. This is something I may wish to further examine.

Read less (see above). I would spend more time working which would leave less time for reading. Then I’d probably lose my position over at World blog. That would be disappointing.

Be deaf. I listen to music all day long, but am sensitive to the fact that my family is right upstairs and does not want to hear bass thumping through the floor all day long. When I am home alone the music gets loud. In fact, it gets loud enough that it cannot be good for my hearing. So I’d be deaf as a post in no time.

Have more money. After all, if I work all the time and cut out most of the food bill I’d have more money than I do now.

Have no one to spend it on. That would be disappointing and probably not too fulfilling.

Be depressed. And here’s the crux of the matter. I just wasn’t cut out for this single life. Not even for a week. There are lots of people who do not need and crave family like I do. I have rarely lived a week of my life without close contact with family members. The single life just wouldn’t work for me. So this weekend I am especially thankful for the family God has seen fit to grant me. They make me who I am.


  • The Power of a Single Snowflake

    The Power of a Single Snowflake

    There are blessings that come with living in a part of the world that sees four distinct seasons. There are trials, too, like when the days are scorching or the nights are bitterly cold. But if I were to leave this part of the world, I know I would miss the seasonality of Southern Ontario…

  • A La Carte Collection cover image

    A La Carte (October 21)

    A La Carte: The worst parenting advice / John Mark Comer’s cafeteria approach / Giants in the Bible / How a wife can help her husband / Social media and pornography / Book and Kindle sales / and more.

  • Bible writing

    If You Had Written the Bible

    Have you ever thought about what the Bible would be like if you had been in charge of writing or editing it? Whatever you would do, I am quite certain you would end up with something that would bear far more resemblance to a systematic theology text than the Bible we hold in our hands…

  • A La Carte Collection cover image

    A La Carte (October 20)

    A La Carte: Assisted suicide / The future of Anglicanism / Busyness / When dad will not lead / When you are maligned / Surprised by his goodness / Kindle deals / and more.

  • Bible

    No Guarantee of Life and Vigor

    Many cold and lifeless churches testify to the fact that the mere presence of the Bible is no guarantee of spiritual life and vigor. Many churches have a Bible tucked neatly into every pew, but teach a message radically at odds with the words of that very Book.

  • A La Carte Collection cover image

    Weekend A La Carte (October 18)

    A La Carte: The trans train / 3 kinds of forgiveness / It’s better to die / A helper corresponding to him / A former social-mediaholic / Honest church leadership / and more.