Skip to content ↓

Reflections on Bachelorhood

I never had a chance to be a bachelor. I started dating Aileen when I was still a teenager, got engaged at twenty and married at twenty-one. We both lived with our parents until the day we married. We had both lived at home through our college years. Over the past years of our marriage I have only rarely spent a night apart from her. I believe we were apart for almost a week about six years ago, but since then we haven’t been apart for more than two nights, and even when she has been away, I’ve always had to keep the kids. So this week of solitude has been, well, different.

For example, I didn’t eat very much. Cooking for just myself seemed like a waste of time. I found, though, that if I timed things just right, it was possible to make do on exactly one meal per day. A large meal at about 2 PM could be made to last through the evening. If I got to work early in the morning I would forget all about breakfast. I tended to get hungry late in the morning, but I could suppress my desire to eat for a couple of hours. Saved time, saved money. I’m sure all the ladies out there will scold me, but I am impenitent.

I also found that working from the crack of dawn until 11 PM is not conducive to a good night’s sleep. My body has grown quite dependent on some evening downtime, usually spent with my nose stuck in a book. Forfeiting this time guarantees at least two or three hours of tossing and turning before I finally shut down enough to sleep.

Yesterday I picked up the family and brought them home. Aileen made a remark about being the only family who leaves the cottage on a Friday to spend a weekend in the city. She raises a good point. Anyways, having the family back with me gave me an opportunity to think about the single life versus family life. Here are a few discoveries I made. If I were single I would:

Eat less. I would eat one meal a day with a couple of snacks when I got bored.

Work more. A lot more. I’d probably work myself nearly to death. I found that beyond my family and work I do not have enough activities to keep me busy outside of work hours. This is something I may wish to further examine.

Read less (see above). I would spend more time working which would leave less time for reading. Then I’d probably lose my position over at World blog. That would be disappointing.

Be deaf. I listen to music all day long, but am sensitive to the fact that my family is right upstairs and does not want to hear bass thumping through the floor all day long. When I am home alone the music gets loud. In fact, it gets loud enough that it cannot be good for my hearing. So I’d be deaf as a post in no time.

Have more money. After all, if I work all the time and cut out most of the food bill I’d have more money than I do now.

Have no one to spend it on. That would be disappointing and probably not too fulfilling.

Be depressed. And here’s the crux of the matter. I just wasn’t cut out for this single life. Not even for a week. There are lots of people who do not need and crave family like I do. I have rarely lived a week of my life without close contact with family members. The single life just wouldn’t work for me. So this weekend I am especially thankful for the family God has seen fit to grant me. They make me who I am.


  • Free Stuff Fridays (RFPA)

    This week’s Free Stuff Friday is sponsored by Reformed Free Publishing Association, who also sponsored the blog this week with their article “What Is God’s Calling For Me?” They are offering a free copy of Finding My Vocation: A Guide to Young People Seeking a Calling to each of ten winners. How can I pick…

  • Grounded in Grace

    Your Kids Need You To Help Them Build Their Identity

    It has always been important that children establish their identity. From the time kids are young, they are being formed in a host of ways and gradually coming to terms with who they are and who they will become. Historically, identity arose from outside—from the people they came from, the place they were born, and…

  • A La Carte Friday 2

    A La Carte (September 13)

    A La Carte: Will God forgive my worst sin? / Seeing dignity instead of misery among the poor / Aging graciously / How edgy are you? / What Trump should have said to Kamala / Kindle deals / and more.

  • A La Carte Thursday 1

    A La Carte (September 12)

    A La Carte: Our greatest tool for reaching the West again / Ordained or allowed? / One for the misfits / If the Twin Towers fell after Twitter / How to get over it when you taught poorly / Kindle deals / and more.

  • Pastoral Prayer

    The Pastoral Prayer: Examples and Inspirations

    Of all the elements that once made up traditional Protestant worship, there is probably none that has fallen on harder times than prayer. It is not unusual to visit a church today and find that prayer is perfunctory, rare, or absent altogether. If that is true of prayer in general, it is particularly true of…

  • A La Carte Collection cover image

    A La Carte (September 11)

    A La Carte: Pro-natalism / Why a good God commanded the destruction of the Canaanites / An encouragement to husbands / Pastoring, productivity, and priorities / I had a horrific childhood / and more.