Skip to content ↓

Marriage Preaches

A few days ago Randy Alcorn posted a quote from a book I’ve often recommended–William Farley’s Gospel-Powered Parenting. In this brief excerpt Farley says that your marriage preaches, that it exists to declare something. And here is what he says:

“This mystery [marriage] is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” Here is Paul’s point. From before time began, God had marriage on his mind. He was preparing a bride for his Son, whom he would marry forever. It would take the crucifixion and resurrection of the Groom to bring this marriage to pass. Think of it. God created the most intimate human relationship, marriage, to speak of the intimacy of his relationship with his church.

God created the institution of human marriage to reflect, or mirror forth, this eternal union. In other words, human marriage exists to point men and angels to the eternal marriage of Christ and his church. The gospel made this divine marriage possible. Here is our point: human marriage exists to preach the gospel. It exists to illustrate the fruit that should follow the preaching of the gospel in the church.

To whom does our marriage preach? Of course, the first audience is God and his angels. They watch and rejoice, or if our marriage is a war zone, they grieve.

Who is the second audience? Most of us think first about our non-Christian neighbors. Maybe they will see our attempts to model Christian marriage and want the gospel? They might, and we hope they will, but actually they are the third audience.

The second audience, usually overlooked by most Christians, is our children. What is our marriage telling them about Christ and his bride? They see it all. They hear our fights. They absorb our attitudes. They know who or what really sits on the throne of our lives. They watch how we handle resentment. They hear the way we talk to each other. They know when we hear the Sunday sermon and apply it. They also know when we ignore it.

The message that our marriage preaches either repels or attracts our children. God wants your child to watch your marriage and think, “I want a marriage like that, and I want the God that produced it.” Or, “When I think of the beauty of the gospel, I think of my parents’ marriage. I want to be part of a church that is loved by God the way my dad loves my mother. I want to be part of a church that finds its joy in submitting to Christ as my mother joyfully submits to my father.”


  • A La Carte Collection cover image

    A La Carte (February 17)

    A La Carte: Wisdom for online dating / Anything can be an idol / The great danger / Unconfessed sin / Sins we love to ignore / Kindle deals / and more.

  • Quality Time

    Quality Time

    People of all faiths pray. Some pray to gods, some to ancestors, some to nature, and some to the universe, but all speak out words, all utter desires, all hope to be heard. But Christians pray differently and Christians pray confidently, for we pray to a Father. We alone “have received the Spirit of adoption…

  • A La Carte Collection cover image

    Weekend A La Carte (February 15)

    A La Carte: Resisting temptation / Strange familiarity / The reluctant polemicist / A new Getty hymn / The power of one bitter thought / Better than a holy year / and more.

  • The Art of Disagreeing

    Keep Calm and Stay Friends

    It is hard to disagree with someone you love. It is harder still to disagree well—to retain genuine respect and true friendship despite differing opinions or convictions. And, as we all know by experience, there is just so much to disagree about.

  • A La Carte Friday 2

    A La Carte (February 14)

    A La Carte: John Piper on whether baptism saves us / The peril of “He Gets Us” / Send them to seminary / An Inside-out world / Pray for protection / Love is patient / Kindle deals / and more.