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Sharing the Gospel in the Gay Village
- 06/24/09
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June 19 marked the beginning of Toronto’s annual Pride Week. Now in its 28th year, this is a week-long celebration of diverse sexual and gender identities. Here is how the organizers describe it: “Pride Week celebrates our diverse sexual and gender identities, histories, cultures, creativities, families, friends and lives. It includes a three-day street festival with over eight stages of live entertainment, an extensive street fair (including community booths, vendors, food stalls), a special Family Pride program, a politically charged Dyke March and the infamous Pride Parade.”
My friend John Bell pastors New City Baptist Church right in the heart of Toronto and has an active evangelistic ministry within Toronto’s gay village. I asked him if he would write an article reflecting on some of the joys and challenges in this unique ministry.
*****
It is Gay Pride week here in Toronto and Tim has asked me to write a guest post detailing my evangelistic efforts in Toronto’s LGBT-oriented community [LGBT stands for Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender). I would appreciate any helpful insights or criticisms the readers of this blog can offer me, as well as your prayers.
I began this ministry two years ago while working as an intern in a downtown Toronto church. I was told that part of my internship duties would involve three hours of evangelism every week in a coffee shop or pub. This was not happy news. To be honest, I find this kind of evangelism very intimidating. “Cold call” is not my style; I’m too polite! As the pastor explained what he expected of me, a likely scenario played itself out in my mind: I approach somebody at Starbucks who is reading a book and drinking a latte. I introduce myself and ask if I may sit with them and talk. Naturally, they want to know my business, so I straightaway introduce the topic of religion or Jesus, probably sounding like the Mormons who came to their door the previous week while they were eating dinner.
Personally (and God uses all types, so I’m not making an absolute statement) I find this kind of evangelistic tactic less than ideal. I don’t know anything about this person, yet I have just interrupted their morning coffee to talk about what I want to discuss. I wanted my evangelism to get off on a better foot, to be more natural; I wanted to initiate the discussion in a way that was neither “rude” nor by way of a specious pretext (conducting a poll on spirituality, etc). Moreover, if I asked to sit and speak with a woman, she might think I was hitting on her. Of course living where I do, a man might think the same thing. Better to take the bull by the horns, I thought. I had never been to a gay coffee shop before but I thought (correctly) that gay men would want a complete stranger to sit with them and chit-chat, so that’s what I decided to do.
Toronto’s gay village is just a ten minute walk from where I live. The first time I ventured out, I prayed to the Lord that he would show me where to go and what to do and what to say. I was very nervous. I had no plan. I was certain I was going to see all manner of disgusting things and that I was going to be thrown bodily out of the establishment for disseminating fundamentalist hate. But I had to tell my pastor that I had evangelized for three hours that week, so I was stuck.
The Lord went ahead of me. I stepped into the first coffee shop I saw, a Timothy’s at Church and Alexander. I found out later that this is the gay coffee shop in all of the Greater Toronto Area. (See the Wikipedia article http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_and_Wellesley). Its clientele is mostly middle-aged men. I bought my coffee and looked around for a place to sit. The tables are very small and the seats are close together—perfect for evangelism, though I’m sure that was not the original intent!
The gay community in Toronto is very close-knit. Most of the men have known each other for years and everyone is on a first name basis. Many men are fixtures at this coffee shop. I have become friends with four of these fixtures: A– , who has severe cerebral palsy that confines him to a wheel chair (that does not impede his sex life, however; he told me he’s had hundreds of partners); D– , an HIV infected drag queen who was molested by a Catholic priest; J– , a civil servant, recently relocated from Ottawa; and C– , who works in the credit department of a national bank. These men have accepted me as their friend and have introduced me to other gay men, although they know I’m a straight, born again conservative Christian who does not condone their lifestyle.
I have talked to quite a number of gay men now—almost all of them white and middle aged. Many of them came out of the closet after having been married with kids. For whatever reason, 85% have come from Catholic backgrounds. That means that much of my evangelistic groundwork has already been covered. There is no need to explain that the bible has two testaments, or who Moses or Abraham were, or convince them of the historic factuality of the resurrection; for the most part, they believe it. I’m finding it’s the authority of scripture that I need to deal with the most.
When I first meet someone at the coffee shop and they ask me what I do (which is a natural “in” to introducing the gospel) they assume that I must be a liberal gay Baptist minister, because otherwise what would I be doing in their coffee shop? (The first man I talked to had only just broken up with his boyfriend, a Methodist pastor.) I begin by asking them questions. I get them to do all the talking for the next 45 minutes. I ask them about their job, their background, their family life, their personal life and what they believe and why so I can get a picture of their epistemology and worldview. Needless to say, I frame my questions in an inquisitive, slightly naive, polite fashion, not in an interrogative, formal way. Gay men love to talk (at least the ones in this coffee shop seem to) and people in general today enjoy discussing “spirituality”. Then, out of politeness, they will inevitably ask me what I believe. So I tell them the gospel, starting with Genesis 1, laying out for them the biblical storyline and worldview.
I have been able to share the gospel with many men over the past two years, even though I am saying things highly offensive to the gay lifestyle—which is actually their identity. I base everything I say on the authority of the word; that is, I make it clear to them that that is what I am doing, that I believe the bible is authoritative for all peoples in all cultures and times because it is God’s authoritative revelation to human beings. I stress this emphatically. And I tell them that the Bible condemns me, it condemns everyone. It condemns me as an idolater, someone who is selfish and sinful, who has de-godded God and installed himself in the position of “The Ruler of John’s Life.” I have done things in my life that I am ashamed of and oftentimes what I am ashamed of the bible calls my “sin” (I have found that gay men can relate very well to shame). I do not zero in on their homosexuality (which is what they expect me to do) but rather the fact that they are sinners. Now, more often than not, they will push me and ask if practicing homosexuality is a particular expression of their sinful disposition and I will not hesitate to tell them “yes.” When asked, I tell gay men that, personally, I have a “live and let live” approach to everyone’s sex life, but my personal opinion doesn’t count for anything if God, our creator, has declared otherwise. I tell them I know that I am sounding very intolerant and bigoted when I tell them that they are sinners and that their lifestyle is not pleasing to God. Who am I to tell another human being such a thing on my own authority? But then I explain that it is not on my own authority that I am saying these things. Rightly or wrongly, I am utterly convinced that the bible is the revelation of God. I am banking my eternal soul on it being so. It condemns me, but I have found salvation in Christ. It condemns you. I am here to tell you about the salvation that I have found in Jesus, that I believe you need, that the bible says he needs.
By presenting the gospel in this fashion (which is the same way I present it to heterosexuals) I have yet to have someone become outraged over my perceived intolerance—though I am sure that day is coming! In fact, being straight and conservative has worked in my favor because they see that I must really care about them to come into an environment where I’m a fish out of water to tell them a message that I know they will find offensive. And I do really care for them. Many of them come from backgrounds where they would have believed something similar to what I believe about the authority of God’s word, from a Catholic perspective, but have since “moved on.” Perhaps I am young and deluded in their opinion, but I’m a nice guy and they put up with it, because they can see that I love them, and often times they will say, “We will hear you again on this matter”. They like the fact that I am willing to be their friend, even if I don’t condone their beliefs. I think that shows an integrity and respect; they respond to it and are willing to reciprocate.
I do all this because I love the LGBT community. They are a community comprised of individual eternal souls. Sadly, they are culture that has almost no contact with biblical Christianity in any form. How many drag queens can count a born again Christian amongst their friends? Very few, to our shame.
I’m the pastor of a new church plant in downtown Toronto and it is my earnest prayer that God would use our people to impact this spiritually needy community. I pray for the day when transvestites can walk through our church doors and be greeted with genuinely warm smiles and Christian love. But before that day is likely to happen, they will need a Christian friend whom they have grown to trust; a person they know would never invite them to a place where they are going to be hurt or embarrassed publicly; a place where everyone is on level ground before the cross of Christ because all are sinners; a place where no one person’s sin is made out to be more repugnant than another’s; a place where all sinners can sit under the uncompromised preaching of holy Scripture and hear of the world’s only Savior and salvation in his name alone.
I pray that we would be more deliberate in this regard; that as God’s sovereign grace works through his faithful witness, the church, we would see more gay men and women come to Christ.
I am a follower of Jesus Christ, a husband to Aileen and a father to three young children. I worship and serve as a pastor at 
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Comments (83)
Thank-you for this guest post. It was very informative and helpful.
well-written, appreciated it.
Thanks for posting this John. I am praying that the Lord will bless your incredibly important work. One question… do you only visit with these friends in the coffee shop or do you get together and hang out with them outside of that context?
I applaud the way you go about presenting the gospel - not targeting their homosexuality in particular, but rather the fact that we are all lost in our sin and in desperate need of Christ. This is the same humble attitude that Paul takes in 1 Tim 1:15, “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.”
I was watching some of the live streaming of the Southern Baptist shindig in Louisville yesterday, and there was a video segment focusing on a church in TX that is on a mission to specifically reach those who struggle with same-sex attractions. I am thankful that churches and ministries are finally making such an organized effort to reach such an under-reached segment of the population.
Blessed are the feet of those who bring good news!
Thank you for this post. It was good confirmation for me. I just came back from a family reunion where I finally met the lesbian partner of my cousin. They have been together for many years. I had forgotten that I might meet her and was caught a little off guard, which I think worked out best since I didn’t have time to get nervous. As soon as she was introduced to me, I greeted her warmly, gave her a hug, and took their picture, as I had been doing with everyone else who entered the room. Later I just sat and talked to her. No one brought up the issue of sexuality. They already know I am a conservative Christian and were probably expecting me to be unfriendly. I share the gospel regularly with all of my relatives via a family e-mail letter, so I didn’t feel the need to start preaching there, especially since we were at a family celebration. I just wanted to show them that I love them and treat them with dignity. I think that will make them even more responsive to what I might share about Jesus in the future. A few years ago, my husband and I watched the movie Hidden Secrets (an excellent drama about grace, in which one of the characters is gay) and I think that helped prepare me.
I like the fact that John Bell did not compromise the Word and he did not take away the offense of the Cross in his Gospel presentation.
It would be interesting to know if any of the men and women he’s ministered to has come to a saving faith in Jesus Christ and has repented of the sin of same-sex behavior.
Good article!
I was witnessing to a young man here in Brazil, and in the course of our conversation he told me—quite defensively—that he was gay. I told him that, even though I am not gay, we are the same in the sight of God, as we are both terrible sinners. He was obviously not expecting that response, and it resulted in a long conversation where he heard the Gospel several times.
I think you are right on in your approach, and will pray that you may see fruit in your ministry.
Great, great stuff Tim and John. Thanks so much. Sounds like evangelism to homosexuals is a lot like evangelism to heterosexuals - that is, sounds like evangelism to sinners.
Andrew
This guest post was superb! The comments were great too.
A much needed article… the line “They are a community comprised of individual eternal souls” is very convicting. I tend to see this community as being overtly hostile and aggressive, particularly in the things of the Lord.
Thank you for your perspective.
John curious what you would make of the following statement in the context of speaking to a homosexual male. Does it play too much on the male to male perversion?
“Jesus is the only man you can fully embrace in all hopes that he will accept you and never forsake you. In fact, he is the only man, because he is God, who fully embraces us in the holiest pure way possible.”
I write the above statement because often times it seems that under the homosexual behavior is a deeper form of idolatry (the idol of relationships, the idol of control, etc.) That being said, could we not present Christ in such a way that he replaces the idol under the homosexuality, therefore giving them an opportunity to rethink why they are practicing homosexuality in the first place.
Hope this all makes. Great post by the way.
What an encouraging article and great testimony. God, give us a heart like John’s, and a willingness to be uncomfortable for the sake of the Gospel and the lost.
One of the core values at the church I attend is “Every soul matters to God.” John is an example of living out that value.
Amen. Great article. It disturbs me greatly how so many conservative Christians treat people from the LGBT community as if they’re some form of super-sinner — to be shunned, hated, and avoided at all costs. The reality is that we’re just as deserving of death, and the only thing separating us from eternal death is our Savior.
Thanks for sharing this!
awesome post, thanks for your work, John. I found it to be very motivating and encouraging. I am praying for your ministry; what an amazing testimony!
I have a friend, a former seminary roommate who (at that time) seemed to be the one of the most passionate, spiritual Bible student I knew. He ended up walking away from the church and Christ because whenever he revealed struggles with same-sex attraction to a long-time church friend, they withdrew from him in shock or horror. He wasn’t engaging in the lifestyle, but he had the temptations and we (the church) didn’t know what to do with him.
Obviously, his was not a genuine faith and we know God is sovereign; however, from a human perspective, we drove him away. I see a lot of hope in our future generation that this will not always be the case. We will preach the sinfulness of all sins to all men, but we will not shrink back from loving sinners. Praise God for his mercy to a sinner like me!
How cool! As a gay celibate Christian (or a Christian who struggles with same-sex attraction, whichever you prefer), this is just really awesome. I’ve never been a part of a gay community, though I did have a boyfriend early in college (we were abstinent, though). Thanks to a lovely Christian family and a supportive group of Christian friends, I’ve been able to carry on a full and active Christian life despite my past sins and my current “disability.” Gay feelings don’t necessarily go away when one accepts Christ. In many cases I’ve seen, they never go away, and gay individuals who come to Christ remain celibate. But the Church needs to be there for all types, and it is encouraging to hear from Christian leaders who realize that.
Very interesting and insightful. The only thing I wonder however is how deep a friendship one can truly develop. What I have found with any of my non-christian friends is there sooner or later a line is clearly drawn where I can walk no further with them. What has disturbed me is the fact the gay community continues to push hard in terms of getting more and more literature in our schools and I’m afraid there comes a time one needs push back and that will not go down too well. I have seen up close the anger that comes when even if your try to not make their lifestyle the main item . We have a openly gay MP and he has been very clear on his agenda to get more info into our schools and as a parent that disturbs me . I cannot share my faith without being told to shut up and we also have had the case of a pastor who has been sued over a letter that was biblical concerning GLBT info placed within a elementary school. I do see outreach as vital but also be careful . Watch your doctrine closely because I have seen people who have switched their views concerning homosexuality as a a valid expression of sexuality after they began to embrace them as friends.
John (or Tim),
Can you please clarify this statement: “Who am I to tell another human being such a thing on my own authority? But then I explain that it is not on my own authority that I am saying these things. Rightly or wrongly, I am utterly convinced that the bible is the revelation of God.”
And how it does not disagree with what Paul commissions Titus in Titus 2:15?
I’m not trying to be quarrelsome, just trying to understand something for my own sake. :D
Wait no… never mind, I answered my own question. John says “…not on my OWN authority…”
I’m good.
Here is an interesting thought: What is our (Christian) response AFTER a homosexual person “repents” (desires to change his or her life to be Christ-like)?
It seems that it would be important to think about this case. I think that OUR attitude toward them should remain the same…of course we should encourage them to read the Bible and obey what it says, which includes turning away from homosexuality, but we should also remember that lusting after (any) person is also sin, lying is also sin, hateful thoughts/deeds are also sin. I suppose what I am trying to say is that we are also struggling with our own sinfulness, just as a homosexual person may continue to struggle with homosexual thoughts after being saved.
More that making our current bodies perfect, God desires a true, devoted, and honest relationship with Him. In a coming day, He will *give* us new bodies to be holy and perfect like His Son.
Does this make any sense? Does anyone have other thoughts on the matter? Has anyone encountered this (for better or worse)?
Fantastic post with poignant insight. Thanks for sharing and providing a godly perspective on a touchy subject. I admire your courage but I also have a high regard for your dependence upon the word of God to do what it was designed to do .
Great approach. Thanks for sharing this. While, I don’t have any gay friends or family, I have family who are quite supportive of the gay lifestyle and same sex marriages, etc. I think this will be helpful information when we are discussing these matters in the future.
I loved this. Thank you so much for posting. I can relate to the writer’s distaste for “cold calling” evangelism and appreciate his approach of making a point to consistently hang out in a place where the lost are willing to chat.
That was great; much appreciated, from the brother of a homosexual.
Everyone - Thanks for all the comments and questions. John is working today and has a church meeting tonight, so he has not been able to answer questions yet, nor will he be able to until later this evening. However, he does plan to do so as soon as he can.
As someone who did work for a ministry in Chicago that helped gay men get out of the lifestyle, I can attest it is difficult, heartbreaking work. And indeed, many homosexuals feel remarkably burned by the Church. The odd thing is, despite the reality that most people burned that way shun the Church entirely, many homosexuals do not; they still see hope there, as many are not entirely convinced of their own lifestyle choices.
Getting out of the lifestyle is hard, as a couple commenters noted. We in the Church need to be more compassionate toward people who struggle with this sin. As some have said, we have made homosexuality a “super sin,” and we have often cast it in a light different from our own sins. (I wrote about this a few weeks ago in “The Real Sins of Sodom.”)
Some of what you wrote is probably okay.
Sharing your faith is starting a conversation and swinging to the spiritual, ended with sharing the gospel and telling the person they must repent and place their faith in Jesus Christ alone for salvation.
The problem comes when you focus too much on not trying to offend them. You begin to use language like, “Well, this is what I believe.” You will not find such language or encounters in Scripture. I did not see any Scripture in this post backing up why you did what you did.
Look at the rich young ruler (Mark 10). Jesus understands that his god is his money. Even after looking at the other commandments, he tells the guy to sell everything he has and follow after him. The text even says He loved him and said this. Why did Jesus say this? Selling everything you have is obviously not the way you are saved. Jesus even let the man walk away sad. From the text, it appears the man did not get saved.
Another scenario is Jesus and the woman at the well (John 4). He started the conversation naturally, changed the topic to spiritual, and then immediately confronts her on her sin of adultery. It appears, unlike the rich young ruler, that she did respond in repentance and faith realizing that Jesus was telling the truth.
Make sure that everything you say is Biblical, and not just your opinion or what you feel comfortable with.
You would be surprised how well some people respond to authority and confronting them on their sin.
On the other hand, if they don’t respond well, why chase them? Jesus didn’t. He gave tough challenges and stern warnings.
Evangelism is not convincing a person to repent, being a friend, trying not to offend. Show me one instance in Scripture where Christ tried not to offend and I will listen. Evangelism is speaking the truth in love (with patience, kindness, and gentleness as the Scriptures say) and bringing glory to your Father who is in heaven!
Luke 9:23-2423And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.
24For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.
Luke 14:25-3325And there went great multitudes with him: and he turned, and said unto them,
26If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.
27And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.
28For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?
29Lest haply, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him,
30Saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish.
31Or what king, going to make war against another king, sitteth not down first, and consulteth whether he be able with ten thousand to meet him that cometh against him with twenty thousand?
32Or else, while the other is yet a great way off, he sendeth an ambassage, and desireth conditions of peace.
33So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple.
I offer no criticisms, but instead thank you for the challenge and the opportunity to pray for you, your church, your ministry, and the LGBT community.
hallelujah! may there be more of us who do likewise.
Just to let you all know that I am gay.
I would say that we ARE all the same in terms of the Gospel; we are all guilty sinners. Yet, what a homosexual gives up to live as a Christian, versus a liar, for example, is vastly different. We are NOT all the same in that regard. I firmly believe that a ministry to any person involves both preaching the Gospel and creating an environment that is conducive to Christian life and growth.
The Christian world offers an environment that is homophobic (much beyond biblical proscriptions), unmarried-phobic and heteroSEX-centric that has finally whittled away my resolve to live in that world after 35 years. It took a long time, but I finally realized that church wasn’t anywhere close to family for me like it is for a young married couple. I just don’t belong there because people don’t understand the situation at any level. I find it UTTERLY SHAMEFUL that church is minefield to be navigated rather than a place to really belong and grow. Where are the churches that know how to handle someone in the balance?
Just my 2 cents to try to get people look at the larger dynamic when dealing with people.
Oh yeah, before anyone replies to my post by saying, “we can’t condone sin,” read my response again and note that I neither said nor implied that. Thanks!
Nathan,
I feel your frustration and hate that you have not found a body that loves you through the gospel.
In reading your response though, I do feel some heat and animosity towards the church for not understanding you. As I mentioned in a post above, in my experience with some friends who are gay, there is often a sin beneath the sin of homosexuality, especially, the idol of being understood. Do you relate with that at all?
I do not want to excuse the body of Christ for being a mindfield but to write off the bride that Christ purchased is a heart issue worth addressing.
Tim,
What an incredible service you do to the Church by inviting Pastor Bell to share such an important message.
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” 1 Cor. 13:1.
God bless you with an ever-increasing love, Pastor Bell, as you continue to minister to His children.
Renee
Nathan,
Churches as we know them today are more like country clubs than a place of refuge and support. From my experiences at least, there appears to be a great need amongst church members to have uniformity and conformity on things that have nothing to do with the gospel of Christ - wears me out, really.
The real Church or the body of Christ may have very little to do with those buildings of brick and mortar and everything to do with people here and there and everywhere who hold to the teachings of Christ and who actually show signs of love.
Nathan, as a guy who is in the same boat as you are, I totally understand. I’m in the American South, too. Not exactly the most knowledgeable and supportive place when it comes to being a Christian guy who deals with this issue.
And you’re right, it’s not like we’re just dealing with lust like every other Christian. That’s certainly a part of it, but we’re also dealing with singleness, and finding a place in a church that is very often a “married with kids only” environment. But like Casey said, no matter how difficult our present situations are, it’s not other people we rely on, but Christ, and our membership in the church doesn’t mean the building where we go, but the Bride of Christ, as seen through the ages.
Casey, I’m curious about your comments. For me, I don’t see my homosexual orientation (or temptations) as having a root any deeper than the Fall. Maybe for some people there are different psychological or spiritual roots, but for me, it’s just something that I’ve experienced since puberty, just like a straight person experiences sexual feelings around that time. What the cause is, I don’t know. It could be biological, and my actions of being celibate wouldn’t change. Cheers to you, and everyone else.
“I was very nervous.” -John Bell
I used to get nervous every time I went visiting the neighbors of my church. We would go out on a Thursday night, and simply go and knock on doors and invite people to church, and we had some incredible conversations. And although I was nervous every time, it was always worth wild. I was always edified and excited afterward.
Keep on John Bell. I hope you have a prayer “team” praying for you. Praying to the Lord for His pwer, love and to be sober-minded is essential. Also to clad in God’s spiritual armour, for the devil knows what you’re doing, and he’s sceming let me tell you. But the devil is God’s devil.
Lord bless you.
Jay,
Though you and I do share in the Adamic curse and are dead in trespasses and sins, you are still a worshipping being who owes his allegiance and obedience to the Creator.
I won’t hesitate to say that I think some people are born gay but my point was simply following the logic of Romans 1.
“Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.”
I am simply begging the question, is there not an idol beneath the perversion of homosexuality? Idolatry is the worship of anything other than God and I would simply state that homosexuality could be treated as less of a heinous sin once it is understood that what is at the root is a problem of idolatry, not simply the sociological stigma we often associate with it.
That being said, I think often times homosexuality tendencies evolve into homosexual practices because of our superficial understanding of idolatry, namely respectable idols such as relationships, control, being understood, all of which are lies exchanged for the truth.
I have known men who have stopped calling their homosexuality their main problem and have begun to identify that what they really love is the praise of man, the control of their own lives and the desire to be completely respected with no misundestandings.
I live in what we call the gayborhood in Dallas so my exposure to this stuff isn’t mainly theoretical. I do want to love those who struggle but I want to be consistent with my thinking and understand their heart the way I understand my own.
God called me to His Son Jesus Christ out of homosexuality thirty years ago.
We are all created in the image of God yet possess a fallen nature (for all have sinned and fall short). Our core sin problem is a heart prone to idolatry, which generates a multitude of sins.
God’s creative design is heterosexual in orientation and intended to be expressed only within the context of a monogamous, heterosexual marriage. For me, the homosexual temptations have never abated but I do not live an active homosexual lifestyle nor seek close companionship with homosexuals. I am sufficient to be content in celibacy as a faithful, obedient servant of Christ. And, I know all temptations are God’s instruments to produce repentance for a heart of darkness, a forsaking of sin, and living obediently in His commands as God slowly, but surely, transforms me into what He wants me to be.
How is it when the Holy Spirit reveals someone, passionate for God and His Word, with a sinful heart that the church drives him away and categorizes his as “not a genuine faith,” just because the sin is homosexuality?
There are many Christians who stuggle with homosexual temptations in the church today as there were in the city of Corinth in the days of the apostle Paul. Most never reveal their dark secret desires out of feared hostility or rejection by the Christian fellowship in which they desire to live.
Victory over sin in not freedom from temptations, of whatever variety. I can attest as to the difficulty of living with these temptations and hearing the church’s extreme esthetic distaste for any and all things homosexual.
I pray Nathan will find a church who will love him and embrace him just as would Jesus do if He were here today.
I am deeply humbled by John Bell and his willingness to rescue homosexuals with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Thanks for this post - great encouragement to me as I seek to continue to love all the people with whom I come into contact, but especially my father and brother who are gay.
John, keep up the good work brother. I am so thankful for what you are doing.
Jay, we are to rely on Christ alone, but everyone else gets to rely on their spouse and the extended community at church (as well as God). Casey, my desire for understanding is idolatry unless it’s from someone of the opposite sex within marriage. These seem like double standards to me.
Even if they aren’t double standards, “church,” meaning anything from a general gathering of believers to something larger and more formal, should have a correct definition of homosexuality, include single people at every level and NOT push sex so much. Why is my singleness such an elephant in the room? Why can’t fellow Christians accept me instead of reject me as seen through their dissatisfaction with my singleness? How can I be satisfied with my OWN singleness when no one around me is? How can I think that singleness is a gift when everyone around me worships marriage and family and are glad they weren’t given this gift? How can I admit “it is I” to people who repeatedly denigrate at every level what I am tempted by? How can I seek counsel from someone that obviously misunderstands my situation? They assume I am a hostile, God-hater looking to molest and recruit boys to live the worst lifestyle imaginable — these are my friends? — this is my soft place to land? Why should I change parts of me that others say are sinful when the Bible does not agree with them? Why should I dress like them, do sports like them, like cars like them, etc. when it is so obvious that those are not what God intended?
These are serious questions regarding what I would consider a sinful (yes sinful, not just “missing the mark,” or “dropping the ball,” or an “an area we can improve on”) — sinful reaction / behavior of the majority of Christians I’ve come across and NOT ONE that I’ve brought it up to has owned up to it. Apparently, only my sin is worth looking at, dissecting, and excising.
If you are Christian that loves truth and wants to lovingly declare it — please declare ALL of it, and lovingly tell yourself that you’ve blown it! Then, repent of these sins, and “go and sin no more!”
It is great to hear you “write out” what we get to hear week-by-week in staff meeting, John.You are the real deal!
Nathan: Dude, I get it. Every Christian who has ever openly dealt with homosexuality gets it. Heck, every Christian who has ever once been a prostitute, a drug addict, an out-of-wedlock parent gets it. Yes, it’s very difficult for men and women like us to find a place in the cookie-cutter American Evangelical culture. I’ve had every single frustration you’ve had. I know it seems unfair, but we have to keep going despite all the difficulties. We can’t stop just because there are obstacles. Maybe we’re going to be mistreated by the majority of “Christians” because we struggle with his issue. Just remember that Christ is with us, and if by being open about our past sins and our present joys brings even one person to love their gay neighbor and bring the Gospel to him or her, then all of the mistreatment we endure is worth it.
That’s not saying that we should have to endure it, but unfortunately, the church is made up of sinful people with prejudices and tempers, and we can’t do anything to change that other than point to Christ and Scripture.
Casey: I’ve been blogging for the past three years, so I have met many men who struggle with homosexuality and who, like your friends, recognize roots such as seeking male affirmation that they were denied in childhood. I totally understand that, and I respect the journeys of those men as they seek healing.
Some of these men deal with their issues and are able to develop a functioning heterosexuality. At the same time, I’ve met many men who have dealt with their issues of pride or idolatry of male emotional companionship who still have the same basic homosexual orientation. Now, because of their growth in Christ, they’re able to effectively deal with it and not succumb to it, but it’s still there.
I am particularly wary of seeing my issues of pride or idolatry as specifically related to my homosexuality. Yes, I sometimes seek the affirmation and approval of others more than Christ, but who doesn’t? I am dealing with them, of course, and maybe they are connected. At the same time, maybe they aren’t. Idolatry is something that we all deal with anyway.
That was really great, John. I wish so badly that I could see my Church become non-judgmental and loving to everyone with every type of problem, but the truth is, everyone has their issues they have to deal with. I’m probably the most non-judgmental person I know, just because I’ve been there done that with everything, and I know what it’s like to be in that position.. So who am I to judge? My sister, from the outside, looks like the most goody goody girl you’d ever seen. She seems flawless, but being in the same house with her reminds me she’s just as sinful as I am. She may not deal with the same issues as me, but she deals with the sin of judging people, gossiping, and not loving like Christ. It just goes to show that stopping judging someone can be as hard as stopping an addiction. Judging a book by it’s cover and gossip is just as much a sin as everything else, and it is just as difficult to rid yourself of. You just have to remember to keep praying for your Church to clean itself of the judging and that your Church will overwhelm your community with love and kindness and respect.
I was also very encouraged by this post. I made my first trip to Toronto a few months ago and attended a Sunday morning service at a downtown church that was within walking distance of my hotel. The bulletin I received stated very clearly that the church supported the LGBT lifestyle, and I remember being shocked at the bluntness of the language. That community is obviously strong in Toronto, and I am encouraged to see that ministers are willing to communicate, engage, and evangelize in the community. I pray also that church-goers will show genuine Christian love and understanding, without wavering on truth. May God bless the endeavors of this church.
Tim: Thanks for posting this.
Pastor Bell: Thank you for writing this and for your ministry.
There are a lot of wonderful posts, but I would like to point out one thing—the minimal amount of the rhetoric that we have been seeing on both sides. That’s great!
I will say that I agree that evangelistic churches focus on families and/or married couples. Our church does. My ministry, along with my wife, is college students. That doesn’t fit into the family mold either. The issues are different, but the focus of the church is the same. I can’t say that I’ve decided to just deal with it. We do bring it up—not too frequently, I hope, but just enough.
Lastly, the timing is interesting, as there is currently a synchroblog on this issue today, which can be followed on twitter. However, there not much depth in most of the posts I’ve read that actually assist in the conversation.
Pastor John,
Thank you for your courage, and for your honest compassion. I have been pondering this difficult and growing dilemma for many years, and have written a summary of my current conclusions.
If you are willing, would you please read Question #19 on my website, www.dyscletter.com, and let me know if my thoughts are on track?
Nathan,
“but everyone else gets to rely on their spouse ”
You assume too much. Based on my experience, in at least half of the married couples, there is little to no grounds for reliance. Don’t assume that the married couples you see are all hunky dory at home.
People are trying to keep their commitments. They are trying to keep things right for their kids. They are trying not to complain or show up in fellowships in a rage or sobbing. But more often than not, marriage can be very lonely.
This is fantastic! Praise God for first loving us while we were yet sinners.
I recently moved to NYC’s predominantly gay neighborhood and have been wondering how to best be a witness to my local community. It is SO encouraging to hear of Pastor John’s approach and how God is using it for good.
Amazing how people appreciate a Christian’s honesty and steadfastness of faith when our presentation is out of love and humility — no matter how much the gospel conflicts with the sinner’s worldview.
Friendship evangelism is a very powerful witness and can bring the deepest riches of joy!