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Rejoice With Those Who Rejoice
- 12/01/10
- 10
We had only lived in our home for a few months when the one next door to us was put on the market as well. It sold quickly and in moved Barb. Shortly after she moved in, her home was given a makeover (an extreme makeover, even). Barb was sent away for the weekend and returned to find her house completely renovated. The volunteers who gave of their time for this program did an incredible job. They replanted and resodded the lawns and gardens, laid new floors, repainted the entire house, themed the bedrooms and added lots of new furniture. We enjoyed watching them do their work and we were there when Barb and the family arrived home. It was a great deal of fun to see their faces, to see their joy, as they explored their new home.
Because the house was a construction zone for three days, it was not a great weekend for those of us who live beside or around the place. We live in townhouses and my house shares a wall with Barb's home. Sound travels readily through these walls and of all the neighbors, we had the worst of it. For much of the weekend there was sawing, banging, hammering and talking. Groups of people moved in and out from dawn until long after dusk. Television crews milled about to capture video of the work. It was difficult, but the crew seemed to do the best they could to be as sensitive as possible to the neighbors. The only one time I felt compelled to go next door was when hammering at 11 PM was keeping the baby from sleeping. I went next door and asked nicely if they would stop the hammering. They apologized and stopped immediately.
We had a great weekend despite the constant noise and commotion. We were thrilled for Barb that she would have the privilege of having her home renovated and we were willing to put up with almost any amount of annoyance for her sake. Unfortunately, most of our neighbors were not. On Friday evening, one neighbor called the police to lodge a complaint about the noise, even though it was only 8 PM. The police arrived and, recognizing the work from an article in the local newspaper, said they were unwilling to do anything. They promptly left and, I trust, found more pressing concerns. On Saturday I saw some other neighbors yelling at one of the crew members who had parked in the wrong parking spot. On Sunday, a few neighbors were gathered in a small group, muttering amongst themselves, making "choking" gestures towards the workers. On the way to church we were apprehended by a particularly grumpy neighbor who told us we should lodge a complaint because Barb's lawn had been laid with new grass and our adjoining lawn had not. Sunday afternoon a neighbor tried to draw Aileen into complaining about the house but Aileen would only say how great she thought the place looked. The neighbor scolded, "I just hope they now take good care of it both inside and out." We learned from the crew that a rumor was going around the neighborhood that Barb intended to sell the house as soon as the work was done.
It was pathetic. We were shocked. We just couldn't believe that our neighbors were unable to be happy on Barb's behalf. Not a single one of them waited outside when Barb returned home. Not a single one offered her any congratulations.
But then I thought back to a sermon I had heard only a short time before. The pastor had preached a sermon on Romans 12, on the marks of a true Christian. "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep," the Apostle writes. The pastor provided an analogy that went something like this: Imagine that you are at a ballgame with a friend. The Blue Jays are winning, putting up run after run against the Yankees. With every home run, you and your friend jump up and rejoice together, high-fiving and cheering for the home team. You rejoice with those who rejoice. But then, between innings, a voice comes over the P.A. and announces that someone in the stadium is going to win a new house, a new car, a dream vacation. He announces the level, the section, the row. It is someone in your row! But when he reads the seat number you see that your friend is sitting in that seat. He has won. You have not. Now how easy is it to rejoice with those who rejoice? Suddenly you are overwhelmed with feelings of anger, envy, discontentment. You pretend to be happy, but inside you mutter and complain. You hate your friend and want what he has been given.
On that weekend I saw first-hand why the apostle considers this ability one of the marks of a true Christian. I saw how so many people simply cannot rejoice with those who rejoice. Instead they react with jealousy and anger, seeking to tear down what has been built up. It was a shocking display of the depravity of human nature.
Some of the neighbors had learned at least one lesson from that weekend. While each house has two parking spots, most of us have only one car. As I walked out to my car I saw that several of the neighbors had decided to park at a 45-degree angle so their single car spanned two spots. That way they could be sure that no one else would park in their coveted spaces. I guess this somehow made them feel better. It just made me laugh. There but for the grace of God...

I am a follower of Jesus Christ, a husband to Aileen and a father to three young children. I worship and serve as a pastor at
Releasing on April 1, The Next
Comments (10)
…and they say it’s hard to tell who needs Jesus.
I live in Kentucky… not the deep south, but close enough that it’s hard for me to imagine “neighbors” such as you describe… how disheartening that must have been. I’m thankful that God was gracious to place your family in Barb’s life.
By the way, did she sell the townhouse?
I live in a “row-house” here in the subs of Baltimore. Different than a townhouse. But similar.
Good story to ponder for us row-home people. The parking is always a big issue. And living in this way brings out the ugly stuff in our hearts for sure, at times.
“Rejoice with those who rejoice. Weep with those who weep.”Clear charge from our Lord’s Word. I would think this would be more-so for the saints, then for those who are outside of the Church. But it could include unbelievers as well.
Our Lord told Aaron not to weep for his two sons, who profaned the Lord’s tabernacle. So, there’s a time to weep, and and time not to weep.
This reminds me Tim, of the time we went to the Jays game.
We fought over who got to sit on the aisle (you won that thanks to my mom, who said you were the guest, so you got to choose). Then there was a foul ball that you ended up with.
What a telling example of the jealousy present in our (my) human heart. We need to rejoice not only with our closest friends, but with those who are not particularly likable.
When we went to visit our son and his wife at their apartment a couple of years ago, someone yelled out the window that we were in their parking spot. We hustled in and moved the car, then found out that the complex was mostly filled with low-income subsidized tenants, and the neighbors in question did not even own a car. Nevertheless, that was THEIR spot.
Oh, Wow. And Ow, Tim. Convicting!
Thanks for this.
Thank you for making me think, for writing a post that caused me to pause for a moment and see something from a different perspective. Keep up the good work.
It is sad how selfish we are and how hard it is for us to overcome our jealousies to rejoice with others.
Wow, thanks for shattering all illusions I ever had about those ‘nice’ Canadians!
I’ve actually seen cats and dogs huff or act out when I’ve rewarded one for good behavior while the other cat or dog is watching. It certainly doesn’t say much about my character when I do the same.
It seems that we are tempted not to rejoice with those who rejoice, OR weep with those who weep.
As a new mother, I have enjoyed motherhood immensely; what a delight it is for us to care for this little one! But multiple times, someone has asked me what I think about being a mother, and when I have told them it’s really joyful, they say, “well, just wait until this or that phase, that’s when it gets really bad!” I have been so hurt by people trying to invalidate my joy, and it has reminded me strongly of my own envy in my heart and the ways I down people who are happier than me.
And when we weep? Few people are willing to sit and weep with us, not offering pithy solutions or telling us to be more spiritual and get over it (or some nice-sounding variation of that). I am reminded that we are to help bear one another’s sufferings and grief, and that singing songs to a heavy heart is like taking off a coat on a cold day (Prov. 25:20).
Out of our envy and our impatience/selfishness, then, we sinfully try to make those who rejoice, weep, and those who weep, rejoice.