My daughters both tried hard not to see Charlie Kirk die. But both saw him die anyway. They saw the bullet strike, they saw his body jerk, they saw the torrent of blood that proved the shot had been fatal. Though they didn’t want to see any of it, it was all but inevitable that sooner or later the algorithm would make sure they did.
You probably saw it too. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry you saw someone die. I’m sorry that for many of you, you saw someone die whom you looked up to and perhaps even regarded as a kind of friend or mentor. Mostly, I’m just sorry that you witnessed something so horrific and traumatic, something no one deserves to see.
The First Murder
I still remember the first murder I ever witnessed. Like you, I didn’t set out to see anyone die. A colleague told me I should watch a video, and before I knew it, I was watching Muslim extremists slit the throat of an American they had taken captive. Many years have passed since then, and I’ve never forgotten the sound and the sight of a clip that lasted no more than a few seconds. It made me physically sick back then and still does if it flits into my mind. I can still see it. I can still hear it. I can still feel nauseous about it. So to some degree, at least, I understand what you experienced in watching that video. Our minds weren’t created to process such horror.
Since Charlie Kirk died, I have read many articles that consider the significance of his death and the effects it may have politically, socially, and religiously. I have read many articles that call you, the generation he most cared for, to ensure his death will not be in vain, but instead motivate you to action. There is a time and place to consider those things. But I fear some people may have been a bit too quick to move from tragedy to action.
I want you to know that it’s good and right to feel grieved and even sick about what you saw. We know intuitively that we should not experience death and should not witness it, for we were all meant to live forever and never die. We are all meant to love one another and never kill. Murder is the worst form of death, for no man has the right to end another’s life. It is made worse still when it is public and bloody and endlessly looped by autoplay videos.
My purpose today is simple. I just want to ask the question: Are you okay? I want to consider what you saw and acknowledge that it may be sitting heavily on your heart and may be troubling your soul. I want to acknowledge that you might be frightened about your future now that you have witnessed a man being assassinated for simply expressing his political and religious viewpoints.
With these things in mind, I have three brief matters I would like you to consider.
Three Brief Matters
First, it is good to speak about these things. I would encourage you to speak to someone you trust and look up to, and to tell that person what you are thinking and feeling, not merely about Charlie Kirk’s death, but about seeing it in its vivid and awful detail. Perhaps you could speak to your parents about it, or a trusted teacher, youth leader, or family friend. Even if you aren’t particularly affected by it at the moment, it may still be good to begin the conversation. Sometimes you only identify and release a weight on your soul as you tell someone else about it.1
Second, it is good to pray about these things, and I’d encourage you to do that. All of us battle with unwanted thoughts—sometimes fantasies and sometimes memories—and it is wise to bring these things to the Lord, to ask him to heal and restore our minds. Most experienced Christians can speak of times they asked the Lord to help their minds stop playing and replaying scenes they did not wish to see. Most can speak of God granting them victory. So if that scene is seared into your memory, pray and ask God to help you stop seeing it. That’s a prayer he loves to answer.
Third, God calls us all to surrender our lives to his purposes. Jesus says that before we profess loyalty to him, we need to count the cost and acknowledge that it might be high. It might cost us everything. I wish I could promise you that you will never need to suffer and die for your convictions, but I can make no such guarantee. That can be a frightening reality, but you can always be confident that God will give you strength for the moment. His preserving grace will not come before you need it, but as you need it. If he puts that holy calling upon you, he will hold you fast. So I encourage you to take this opportunity to consecrate, dedicate, and surrender your life to God and to his purposes, knowing and believing that his purposes are always good. You will never regret living and even dying for him. If this frightens you, please do as I suggested above—speak to a trusted adult and speak to God. Both would love to help you.
Conclusion: Help Is Available
Again, I want to repeat how very sorry I am that you had to see something no one should ever have to see and be faced with such a brutal display of the reality that living by your convictions can sometimes cost everything. I want you to know that I and others are praying for you. And I want you to know that help is available if you are having trouble processing it—help from the Lord and help from the people he has called to serve him. Please take hold of that help if you are suffering. Take hold of it and trust that through it God will both heal and strengthen you.
- If what you saw has deeply wounded your soul, if you keep seeing the horror of it in your mind, or if you fear for your own life, then I’d encourage you to think about counseling. It does not make you weak and does not mean that you’re an immature Christian. It simply means you need a bit of help processing what you saw. A biblical counselor can be tremendously helpful in guiding you to the truths of Scripture that can speak to your situation. It’s usually best to ask your pastor for a recommended counselor, but there a lots of good organizations that can guide you to one as well. Here are a few I recommend: Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation; Association of Biblical Counselors; Biblical Counseling Coalition; Association of Certified Biblical Counselors. ↩︎
