Our house is emptier than it has ever been, and that makes it feel bigger than it has ever been. It’s funny how the home that often felt just a little too small for the five of us now feels just a little too big for the two of us. Even a little house can feel large when the children have moved on.
Aileen and I had been married for nearly eight years when we bought our first home. We had long since decided that I would be the sole breadwinner while Aileen would focus on caring for the children, so it took a while to put together a down payment. We were already renting in a neighborhood we had come to appreciate—a 50-unit townhouse development that had been built around the time we were born. When one of the units came on the market, we counted our nickels and dimes, asked our parents if they might wish to help out, and realized we could actually make a go of it. Our real estate agent pushed us to buy something right at the limit of our mortgage approval, but we decided to leave some margin. Soon enough, we became the owners of a little townhouse that is just about 1,200 square feet in size.1 It has four small bedrooms, one-and-a-half bathrooms, and a partially finished basement. We assumed at the time that it would be our first step up the property ladder, a small starter home that would eventually help us make our way to a bigger home. But we never did take that second step. Why? Because we realized we didn’t need nearly as much house as we had once thought.
And this is why I am writing this article: perhaps you should consider how much house you actually need to happily settle down. The housing situation in this area and many other places around the world has changed a lot in the two decades since we bought. If a home used to cost three to five times annual income, today it can be more like ten to twelve times in big cities. This means that housing represents a much more substantial expense than it used to, and it is easier than ever to become “house poor.” Many people are not merely mortgaging their house but mortgaging their future. One straightforward way to mitigate this is to buy small and embrace the smallness. I want you to know that you can probably be perfectly happy with much less house than you may think.
I’ll admit that there were some annoyances and complications that came with a small home, and a townhouse, at that. There is only one common area, and it can fit only one armchair, one sofa, and one dining room table, so space could be tight at times. There’s no garage, so storing things like bikes or winter tires was problematic. The bedrooms are small, so we often had to shift people around as the children needed more space or changed their minds about sharing a room. We only ever had one shower, so we had to rely on routine to keep the peace. We had no ensuite bathrooms, no walk-in closets, no bonus room, rec room, or breakfast bar. We share walls with neighbors on two sides and have open views into other units at the front and back, so there has never been a lot of privacy.
We made do. In fact, we more than made do. We did really well here. I’d even say we thrived.
But we made do. In fact, we more than made do. We did really well here. I’d even say we thrived. Though there may be decisions we made in life that we look back on with some regret, buying this little house and staying in it are not among them. It forced us to be close together instead of far apart, to learn to truly get along. Even in our leanest years, the mortgage and property taxes were never onerous. In fact, there were many people living nearby whose annual property tax bill was greater than the sum of our 12 mortgage payments. It made housing far more affordable than it would have been had we upgraded to a bigger home, and this allowed us to dedicate more of our money to things we valued: gifts, charity, and family experiences. I don’t think our family missed out on much that only a bigger home would have delivered, but we did enjoy the things that a small house enabled.
Admittedly, there have been times I wished we could live in a “real” home—the kind of home that has a garage, a good-sized yard, and privacy. Shamefully, there have been times when I was embarrassed to live in one of the smallest homes in the area and in a neighborhood that others sometimes looked down on. But the lifestyle upgrade never seemed worth the financial burden. Having made good progress on a small mortgage, we hated the thought of taking a financial step back just to gain some more square footage. And far faster than we would have thought possible, the kids grew up, moved out, and left this little home feeling pretty big.
We anticipate that we will eventually have to move on as we age. The bedrooms and bathroom are up a fairly steep flight of stairs, while the washer and dryer are down one, and we know that all those stairs may at some point become too much. Our house is in a condominium complex that is responsible for clearing the snow, and it is often done poorly enough that winter accessibility can become difficult. And while to this point our neighbors have been stellar, a bad neighbor or two could make life pretty difficult. So at some point, we will likely have to move, either downgrading to a smaller place or perhaps moving into an in-law suite with one of our girls. That’s probably a few years away still. But until then, we love our little-big home and are thankful for it. Having gained a lot of experience in the practice, we commend the small-home life as a perfectly reasonable one.
- Admittedly, “little” and “big” are relative, but when we bought, 1,200 square feet was about the smallest house in this area. ↩︎
