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Joel Osteen or Fortune Cookie?

Joel Osteen or Fortune Cookie

The other day I ate some rather extraordinary Thai food for lunch and, on my way out, grabbed a fortune cookie. I cracked it open and read a silly little proverb meant to inspire, I suppose. I wish it had said “A brisk uphill walk after all-you-can-eat Thai is a bad idea.” Never mind. As I waddled my way home, regretting that last bowl of curry (so delicious…), I thought “This fortune sounds like something Joel Osteen would say.” And then it struck me–there is very little difference between Joel and those fortune cookies (except that the cookies are delicious, of course). And now, to prove it, I will give you these twelve quotes. You tell me which are from the fortune cookies and which are from Joel Osteen.

November 2015 Update: This is now “quizzified” and updated with recent Osteen quotes. All of his quotes were posted to his Twitter feed within the past 2 weeks.

Note: Many, many fortune cookies were harmed in the preparation of this quiz.

Thanks for playing!


  • A La Carte (June 17)

    How we tell the story of Down syndrome / We harm and then hate / Discipleship does not equal shepherding / The comfort and assurance of baby steps / Young man: what are you good at? / Boy trip 2026 / What you recommend / and more.

  • A La Carte (June 16)

    Communism tried and found lethal / Zeal for God gone wrong / Dear dementia / Honesty about our habits / Opportunities to be salt and light during pride month / Separate ways / Journaling Bibles / Kindle deals / and more.

  • What Do Canadians Believe About God?

    The results from Ligonier Ministries’ first-ever State of Theology survey in Canada reveal widespread confusion about God and His Word among evangelicals. Explore the survey results for yourself and download the free study guide to discuss the findings with a group. Each section includes discussion questions and biblical insights to guide your conversations. Download yours…

  • A La Carte (June 15)

    Preparing for spiritual warfare / Navigating bribery / Innovation isn’t the answer / Husbands and bitterness / A son’s disability / Assurance of salvation / Kindle deals / and more.