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Joel Osteen or Fortune Cookie?

Joel Osteen or Fortune Cookie

The other day I ate some rather extraordinary Thai food for lunch and, on my way out, grabbed a fortune cookie. I cracked it open and read a silly little proverb meant to inspire, I suppose. I wish it had said “A brisk uphill walk after all-you-can-eat Thai is a bad idea.” Never mind. As I waddled my way home, regretting that last bowl of curry (so delicious…), I thought “This fortune sounds like something Joel Osteen would say.” And then it struck me–there is very little difference between Joel and those fortune cookies (except that the cookies are delicious, of course). And now, to prove it, I will give you these twelve quotes. You tell me which are from the fortune cookies and which are from Joel Osteen.

November 2015 Update: This is now “quizzified” and updated with recent Osteen quotes. All of his quotes were posted to his Twitter feed within the past 2 weeks.

Note: Many, many fortune cookies were harmed in the preparation of this quiz.

Thanks for playing!


  • What Makes You Beautiful

    What Makes You Beautiful

    I have often thought of a conversation that took place when my girls were little. Abby was perhaps 5 or 6 at the time and Michaela just working her way through the “terrible twos” (which for our kids always happened when they were three or four). A stranger saw me interacting with them one day…

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    A La Carte (April 25)

    A La Carte: John Piper and ChatGPT / Who’s praying for your wife and kids? / When your dreams include sin / Are you called to ministry? / Our feet shall tread this place again / and more.

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    A La Carte (April 24)

    A La Carte: He cares for us / Will the pope to go heaven? / An easy Christian faith / The good we cannot see / Chickens, elephants, and freedom / When we skip the prophets / Kindle and book deals / and more.

  • Francis

    Did Francis Prove To Be “The Humble Pope?”

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    A La Carte (April 23)

    A La Carte: How to begin a conversation with a dechurched friend / Machen was right / The truth of Christ’s resurrection / When grief becomes sin / Nope to the media’s ideal for a new pope / Book sale / and more.

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    A La Carte (April 22)

    A La Carte: Pope Francis / Yes, Jesus was crucified with nails / The mystery of “the call” / Just a little bit / The last of the four / John outran Peter / Kindle deals / and more.