On Losing the Ability to Type (and The Ol’ Ball and Chain)

I’m doing things a little bit differently today. For now at least, I’ve mostly lost the ability to type, so am going to try my hand at a little bit of video. If you want, you can click play to learn more. Transcript We’ve got lights. We’ve got a camera. We’ve got a microphone. Let’s try this thing. Hello everybody, Tim Challies here. You might have noticed there’s something different about the blog today. The more astute observers among you may …

What’s the Purpose of … Marriage?

Today I am kicking off a new series of articles that is going to ask the simplest of questions: “What’s the purpose of …?” Though the question is simple, the answers can be difficult and even controversial. We’ll begin with the home: What’s the purpose of marriage? What’s the purpose of sex? What’s the purpose of children? Then we’ll turn to the church: What’s the purpose of the church and its pastors? What’s the purpose of the Lord’s Day and …

Become a Patron

Let the Wife See She Respects Her Husband

This is an article I’ve prepared with no small amount of trepidation. In the past I’ve written frequently and confidently about the role of a husband within his marriage, and especially about how it is tersely and perfectly summarized in Ephesians 5:33: “Let each one of you love his wife as himself.” But the last time I wrote about this, a woman replied with a request: “I’ve read many female perspectives on the second half of that verse, but never …

Treasure Your Marriage

I won’t ever forget the day I married Aileen. I won’t ever forget the moment she appeared at the end of the aisle and began her slow walk toward me. Our eyes met, and in an instant I was overwhelmed with awe, overcome with the joy of being joined together for life. It was a holy, intense, unforgettable moment. My love was fierce and strong, and I was convinced there was nothing I wouldn’t do for her, no trial I …

10 Common but Illegitimate Reasons to Divorce

It is clear in the Bible that God’s intention for marriage is that it remain in effect until the death of one spouse. I believe it is also quite clear that God has provided a limited set of circumstances in which a marriage can legitimately be severed. However, many people—even Christians—offer reasons to divorce that are not sanctioned by God. Jim Newheiser helpfully outlines a number of these in his book Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage: Critical Questions and Answers. Here …

Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage

We are well-served with books on marriage. Whether we are approaching our wedding day or closing in on our 50th anniversary, we’ve got lots of wise counsel to turn to: The Meaning of Marriage by Tim and Kathy Keller, Married for God by Christopher Ash, When Sinners Say, “I Do,” by Dave Harvey, and on and on. But while we are well-served with books on marriage, we are not nearly so well-served with books on divorce and remarriage. And while …

10 Issues To Work Through Before You Get Married

Some people get married too soon. After love at first sight and a whirlwind romance, they quickly plan a wedding, exchange rings, and settle into a marriage that soon turns sour. So much pain can be avoided by working through issues before that wedding day. While courtship and engagement is, of course, the time to plan a wedding, it is also the time to plan a marriage. Here, drawn from the work of Jim Newheiser, is a list of issues …

Two Different Ways to Think About Sex in Marriage

You have no right to a secret sex life. If you are married, you have no right to do anything outside the knowledge and consent of your spouse. That includes adultery, of course, but it also includes sinful fantasies and all manner of self-gratification. It’s simple. It’s obvious. It’s biblical. But it’s widely ignored. You have no right to a secret sex life because you do not own the rights to your body. The first right of ownership is God’s. …

Like the Shepherd

The great challenge in marriage is not to love our wives more but to love ourselves less, for it is self-love that generates so much of the strife we experience. To be successful husbands we must continually put to death within us whatever causes us to prioritize ourselves, our own interests, our own comfort, our own good. To do this successfully we need counsel, we need men who can make us aware of our self-love and who can provide examples …

Keep On Learning To Dance

It’s a metaphor I heard from a friend and one that has stuck with me ever since. It illustrates a common, perhaps even universal, experience within marriage—sexual intimacy is good and wonderful but, maintaining healthy intimacy through all of life’s ups and downs is a life-long challenge. The illustration goes something like this. You are a young man or woman attending a wedding reception, an old-fashioned dance in a small-town dance hall. The band takes its place on stage and …